Mother in law experiences? Share them! 🤣

I very sadly never got to meet DH's mum, as she died from cancer when he was 18. His father had remarried years before though, and his step-monster was everything that a MIL is meant to be. She had 5 children, none of whom she spoke to. She tutted, sighed and moaned at our young DC and it was a relief to be honest when we committed some heinous crime and offended her so badly that we were cut off. FIL phoned the day she died, and thankfully he and DH had 8 good years together before he passed away.

Blonde123 said:

That’s so strange! Does your partner think it’s weird?

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He thinks she got "confused" and was just trying to be helpful. I feel awful because I know it's his mum and he is bound to be protective but I just said it is quite manipulative and he goes on the defence. Have agreed to disagree that it is the most bizarre thing ever.

My mil continues to turn up uninvited.
Shes always got an excuse, something to return, picked this up for you blah blah. She arrives with the most annoying "cooo eyyyy" the dogs go bonkers, she starts throwing balls for them and my hackles are up before shes even in the house!!
Last weekend, we hired a mini digger ( she loves to be involved with stuff like that, giving her unwanted advice ) OH told her, we dont need your help, we'll shout if we do. She STILL turns up!!
Just cant help herself.
Anyway, its Easter weekend, we've not seen OHs kids for over 6 months, now the outdoor rule is in place we've organised to see them, omg the excuses we were batting about to not have MIL here
We REALLY shouldn't HAVE to lie but in her true style, she would almost certainly turn up.
Weve now planned a quick visit to her in the morning and said because of the rule of 6 she cant come to eat.
Id not mind, but add alcohol to her, give her an audience and she becomes a bitch from hell, questioning what wine we're serving, making catty remarks and generally not a nice person. .
Oh, and once in, she grows roots out of her arse and never leaves!!

Kezza_69 said:

My mil continues to turn up uninvited.
Shes always got an excuse, something to return, picked this up for you blah blah. She arrives with the most annoying "cooo eyyyy" the dogs go bonkers, she starts throwing balls for them and my hackles are up before shes even in the house!!
Last weekend, we hired a mini digger ( she loves to be involved with stuff like that, giving her unwanted advice ) OH told her, we dont need your help, we'll shout if we do. She STILL turns up!!
Just cant help herself.
Anyway, its Easter weekend, we've not seen OHs kids for over 6 months, now the outdoor rule is in place we've organised to see them, omg the excuses we were batting about to not have MIL here
We REALLY shouldn't HAVE to lie but in her true style, she would almost certainly turn up.
Weve now planned a quick visit to her in the morning and said because of the rule of 6 she cant come to eat.
Id not mind, but add alcohol to her, give her an audience and she becomes a bitch from hell, questioning what wine we're serving, making catty remarks and generally not a nice person. .
Oh, and once in, she grows roots out of her arse and never leaves!!

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Does she make the catty remarks about you and your OH?

Once my husband was sleeping at my place and was late to come for breakfast to his mum. She said that I manipulated the clock though she never ever met me before.

Years ago we went on a 6 months trip through Asia for which we saved 2 years. When we returned we learned she told everyone we needed to take credit for and actually couldn't afford it.

This is a long story so bear with me: I have a Croatian passport but I grew up and always lived in Germany. I could have already applied for German nationality years ago but I didn't see any benefits back then and I always thought let's just wait till Croatia becomes part of EU.
But if I would have left Germany for longer than 6 months I technically would have lost my unlimited visa.
So when we decided to move to USA to live and work there for a couple of years I went to immigration office to ask if there's a way to stay longer or if I really have to return every 6 months, stays for a while and fly back. Just for bureaucracy reasons?

I was married to a German, so I could return as his wife if course, but I wanted to be independent from him.
So the answer was no, but I didn't give up and tried several different offices and administrations and what not.
So on the day we were about to fly to USA a nice lady called me, she found a way.
I had to fill in lots of forms she would send me and of course I needed lots of extra documents and copies etc.
So I explained everything to my MIL and asked her to forward the documents I would sent her from USA once we arrived. She understood that it was urgent and important, at least she pretended.

So long story short... She didn't do it and sent the letter back writing something like: return to sender, my daughter in law who shouldn't leave Germany longer than 6 months left Germany for longer than 6 months.

Kezza_69 said:

My mil continues to turn up uninvited.
Shes always got an excuse, something to return, picked this up for you blah blah. She arrives with the most annoying "cooo eyyyy" the dogs go bonkers, she starts throwing balls for them and my hackles are up before shes even in the house!!
Last weekend, we hired a mini digger ( she loves to be involved with stuff like that, giving her unwanted advice ) OH told her, we dont need your help, we'll shout if we do. She STILL turns up!!
Just cant help herself.
Anyway, its Easter weekend, we've not seen OHs kids for over 6 months, now the outdoor rule is in place we've organised to see them, omg the excuses we were batting about to not have MIL here
We REALLY shouldn't HAVE to lie but in her true style, she would almost certainly turn up.
Weve now planned a quick visit to her in the morning and said because of the rule of 6 she cant come to eat.
Id not mind, but add alcohol to her, give her an audience and she becomes a bitch from hell, questioning what wine we're serving, making catty remarks and generally not a nice person. .
Oh, and once in, she grows roots out of her arse and never leaves!!

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ah I can relate so much! Always the first to arrive and last to leave. How exhausting is it having to think of excuses constantly. Mine asks my plans for say the next 2 weeks and I literally have to fill in every gap or shel offer plans and make it impossible to get out of.

I posted a while ago about how mine expects me to pick her up and take her to Bridge which is all the way across the other side of a huge city ... it's a pain in the butt because it takes a huge chunk of time out of my day and if I'm busy with work stuff (I work from home), I usually have to rush to catch up which makes me stressed.

Well now she's been texting to ask if I can take (taxi) her to an appointment which is two hours away, next week. She said it would be good if we can stay the night; she'd like her own room but if we must share then that will have to do. Um ... never mind the fact that I WORK, but who will be paying for the accommodation? Aaarrgh - drives me nuts. I'm just going to ignore her texts and pretend they didn't come through.

1001 others said:

I posted a while ago about how mine expects me to pick her up and take her to Bridge which is all the way across the other side of a huge city ... it's a pain in the butt because it takes a huge chunk of time out of my day and if I'm busy with work stuff (I work from home), I usually have to rush to catch up which makes me stressed.

Well now she's been texting to ask if I can take (taxi) her to an appointment which is two hours away, next week. She said it would be good if we can stay the night; she'd like her own room but if we must share then that will have to do. Um ... never mind the fact that I WORK, but who will be paying for the accommodation? Aaarrgh - drives me nuts. I'm just going to ignore her texts and pretend they didn't come through.

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Tell her you can't because you have a lot of work on but will ask your OH if he can.

Rodneytrotter said:

Does she make the catty remarks about you and your OH?

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Always . . And we wonder why she moved here from Holland with no friends of her own, and is now mussling in on our friendship group . . Who despise her as much as we do??
Embarrassing thing is, my dear dad, comes to visit regularly from up north, he stays for weeks, all our friends love him, have adopted him as their dad/friend and basically cant get enough of him?

Kezza_69 said:

Always . . And we wonder why she moved here from Holland with no friends of her own, and is now mussling in on our friendship group . . Who despise her as much as we do??
Embarrassing thing is, my dear dad, comes to visit regularly from up north, he stays for weeks, all our friends love him, have adopted him as their dad/friend and basically cant get enough of him?

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She sounds like my dad. He constantly makes bitchy comments about me. I haven't spoken to him for 3 weeks since his last load of remarks. I dont know why they think they can be so mean and get away with it!

Rodneytrotter said:

She sounds like my dad. He constantly makes bitchy comments about me. I haven't spoken to him for 3 weeks since his last load of remarks. I dont know why they think they can be so mean and get away with it!

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Shes really rather vile . .
She does this little wriggle ( like a child oma who needs a wee?) when shes being mean or nasty . . Horrid horrid woman

All this talk of horrible MIL's reminded me of something. There's a pub/restaurant not too far from where we live and pre-covid times we used to go there quite a bit. We got to know one of the waitresses as she was our usual server. She was from Lithuania, but has been here for about 7 or 8 years. Her partner is English and is a farmer. They've been together about 5 years, but don't live together because he lives on the family farm with his mother. His father is dead.
One evening we were in there and it was quiet, so she was chatting away to us and telling me about how horrible her partner's mother is to her. In front of her, she's said to others "That foreigner can think again if she thinks she's going to be taking my son's farm". Lot of other horrible jibes as well. She was on the verge of breaking up with her partner because of it.

So we hadn't been in there for a couple of months and the week before Xmas (2019) went in one evening for something to eat. My husband was gone to the bar and this lady came straight over to me. She looked deliriously happy and just grabbed my hand and blurted out "I have GREAT news.
His mother, she is dead, she die last week!"
I ended up giving her a hug and exclaiming "Oh that's brilliant news. You must be delighted!"

I know it sounds absolutely terrible to be rejoicing in someone's death, but after what her (not quite) MIL had put her through, I can fully understand why she was so happy that the old bat was dead.

I’m really lucky because my boyfriends mum is hands down one of my favourite ever people. She is honestly like another Mum to me. My dad passed away 2 years ago and my MIL came to my graduation, she supported me throughout uni too. She has 3 kids and 2 step-kids and she honestly treats me like I am her daughter too. She is sooooo important to me and this lockdown has been so hard not being able to see her as regularly because she’s down south but we are so close. I know I am good for her mental health as she tells me and my boyfriend that we are and likewise she is for me. She’s utterly brilliant and I consider myself so lucky to have her! I am in awe of her and her strength and kindness after all she’s been through. She’s very funny too! Genuinely don’t have a bad thing to say about her nor have I ever had a bad experience or memory with her!

DCICassieStuart said:

All this talk of horrible MIL's reminded me of something. There's a pub/restaurant not too far from where we live and pre-covid times we used to go there quite a bit. We got to know one of the waitresses as she was our usual server. She was from Lithuania, but has been here for about 7 or 8 years. Her partner is English and is a farmer. They've been together about 5 years, but don't live together because he lives on the family farm with his mother. His father is dead.
One evening we were in there and it was quiet, so she was chatting away to us and telling me about how horrible her partner's mother is to her. In front of her, she's said to others "That foreigner can think again if she thinks she's going to be taking my son's farm". Lot of other horrible jibes as well. She was on the verge of breaking up with her partner because of it.

So we hadn't been in there for a couple of months and the week before Xmas (2019) went in one evening for something to eat. My husband was gone to the bar and this lady came straight over to me. She looked deliriously happy and just grabbed my hand and blurted out "I have GREAT news.
His mother, she is dead, she die last week!"
I ended up giving her a hug and exclaiming "Oh that's brilliant news. You must be delighted!"

I know it sounds absolutely terrible to be rejoicing in someone's death, but after what her (not quite) MIL had put her through, I can fully understand why she was so happy that the old bat was dead.

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Did she get the farm?

Blonde123 said:

Did she get the farm?

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Well she got engaged anyway, so I'm guessing so. MIL must be spinning in her grave

DCICassieStuart said:

Well she got engaged anyway, so I'm guessing so. MIL must be spinning in her grave

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Wonder if they’ll name a goat or something after her

Rodneytrotter said:

My mother in law likes to remind me how lucky I am to be married to her wonderful, handsome son. She made a big song and happy dance once because he changed our babies nappy 'for me'.

Unfortunately I have always given sarcastic responses e.g. 'wow, does he want a medal?' which hasn't got me very far And made me look like a bitch but it almost my defence.

She has got better over the years but in the beginning she was very unwelcoming. I was only young when we met and she would do things like make my husband a hot drink and slice of cake and id get a glass of water - i'm being serious here! My husband wouldn't say anything to her but would try and give me his cake or whatever. He is very non confrontational and in the past we have had many arguments over her.

My own parents were very unloving, cold individuals, they never hugged me or told me they loved me. Happy to scream at me though and call me names. I would have loved to have had the opposite in my in-laws.

Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me to cause neither my parents or my parrnts in law to like me but I realise that is a bit self pitying 'get the violin out' ha ha .

They are Scottish and I am English so I always hear about how shit English people are.

It probably never helped that my sister in law is a total bitch and always stirring. She's the ring leader with the English hate. Mother in law is much better without her daughter there.

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Sorry to hear, have similar story. It's important to set boundaries early. I missed this, because I was young (19) and didn't take the signs seriously. I always thought it can't be that she doesn't like me because usually all the "adults" liked me: teacher, neighbours, parents of schoolfriends, patients (when doing internships),.... really everyone (don't wanna sound arrogant, but I was always respectful, reliable, diligent, all things adults usually like)
My MIL has 6 children so I believed she must be a good and loving wife mum.... O boy, little did I know.

For years she keept saying, that my husband "helps" me so much around the house and with the kids. Till one day I had enough and said:
Sofar he does not even do his share.
helping would mean he does more than his 50% he is supposed to do, because he takes a part of the workload from me.
How is reading to his son in the evening "helping" me? How is putting his dirty socks in the laundry basket "helping" me? If he would put my socks in the laundry then maybe.
All the fights we have, when we have some, are about topics where she didn't raise or educate him properly.
This shut her up.

What does OH mean?

Milre said:

Sorry to hear, have similar story. It's important to set boundaries early. I missed this, because I was young (19) and didn't take the signs seriously. I always thought it can't be that she doesn't like me because usually all the "adults" liked me: teacher, neighbours, parents of schoolfriends, patients (when doing internships),.... really everyone (don't wanna sound arrogant, but I was always respectful, reliable, diligent, all things adults usually like)
My MIL has 6 children so I believed she must be a good and loving wife mum.... O boy, little did I know.

For years she keept saying, that my husband "helps" me so much around the house and with the kids. Till one day I had enough and said:
Sofar he does not even do his share.
helping would mean he does more than his 50% he is supposed to do, because he takes a part of the workload from me.
How is reading to his son in the evening "helping" me? How is putting his dirty socks in the laundry basket "helping" me? If he would put my socks in the laundry then maybe.
All the fights we have, when we have some, are about topics where she didn't raise or educate him properly.
This shut her up.

What does OH mean?

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"OH" = other half

Rodneytrotter said:

Tell her you can't because you have a lot of work on but will ask your OH if he can.

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That never works ... he's had to take her to Bridge when I haven't been able to, and she's said to me how guilty that's made her feel as he's a very busy man with a "real job" I don't even know why she bothers to go - she loathes everyone there.

My husband has just returned from MIL's with the Easter egg she bought him. I don't know any grown adult whose mother still buys them an Easter egg.

Needless to say, she didn't get me one!

DCICassieStuart said:

My husband has just returned from MIL's with the Easter egg she bought him. I don't know any grown adult whose mother still buys them an Easter egg.

Needless to say, she didn't get me one!

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What a cow!