Mother in law experiences? Share them! šŸ¤£

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Nightmare arenā€™t they. Wait until the baby comes and theyā€™ll be like tramps on chips.

Iā€™m going to call out my FIL when I next see them and say, ā€œIā€™m surprised you havenā€™t said congratulationsā€, and then be silent. Itā€™s just poor manners really and irks me. I know everyoneā€™s personalities are different but youā€™d think theyā€™d at least manage a congratulations. My husband mentioned it to his mum after our second announcement and she replied with ā€œhe doesnā€™t really congratulate peopleā€ šŸ¤£šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø
You know what I said this to my mum- when heā€™s here she will be all over him. And that will make me even more mad.
I was so excited about telling her and if Iā€™m honest I feel like sheā€™s really being rude to not even mention the pregnancy after so long! I even went on a walk with her the other day for an hour and she never mentioned it or asked how I was. Itā€™s so bizarre. My parents are upset too as in their conversations with her sheā€™s not mentioned it either- just like itā€™s swept under the carpet and something to not be spoken about! šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøSuper rude. And baffling.
I totally get what you say about peopleā€™s personalities being different but as you say itā€™s just manners to say congratulations isnā€™t it?
Il be honest it has upset me, as me and my partner are so excited with it being our first and it does hurt, abit like rejection.
I wish i was strong like you and could ask her what her problem is but Iā€™m scared about rocking the boat. But I really donā€™t want her around straight after the birth thatā€™s for sure and Iā€™m worried that will cause problems but I feel very strongly about that at the moment. Xxx
 
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You know what I said this to my mum- when heā€™s here she will be all over him. And that will make me even more mad.
I was so excited about telling her and if Iā€™m honest I feel like sheā€™s really being rude to not even mention the pregnancy after so long! I even went on a walk with her the other day for an hour and she never mentioned it or asked how I was. Itā€™s so bizarre. My parents are upset too as in their conversations with her sheā€™s not mentioned it either- just like itā€™s swept under the carpet and something to not be spoken about! šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøSuper rude. And baffling.
I totally get what you say about peopleā€™s personalities being different but as you say itā€™s just manners to say congratulations isnā€™t it?
Il be honest it has upset me, as me and my partner are so excited with it being our first and it does hurt, abit like rejection.
I wish i was strong like you and could ask her what her problem is but Iā€™m scared about rocking the boat. But I really donā€™t want her around straight after the birth thatā€™s for sure and Iā€™m worried that will cause problems but I feel very strongly about that at the moment. Xxx
You could maybe get your partner to ask her if sheā€™s worried about the baby/you in the pregnancy. She will probably answer ā€œno, why?ā€ And he can say ā€œwell Iā€™m just surprised you havenā€™t asked *upintheair83* about how she is.ā€ Then see what she says. Itā€™s a passive aggressive way of making the point/ planting a seed for her to think. Donā€™t let their rudeness upset you Xx
 
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You could maybe get your partner to ask her if sheā€™s worried about the baby/you in the pregnancy. She will probably answer ā€œno, why?ā€ And he can say ā€œwell Iā€™m just surprised you havenā€™t asked *upintheair83* about how she is.ā€ Then see what she says. Itā€™s a passive aggressive way of making the point/ planting a seed for her to think. Donā€™t let their rudeness upset you Xx
Thatā€™s actually a really good idea. Thanks hun, and I know I shouldnā€™t. I think because I had this idea of how she would react and you build up this image of everyone being so excited and happy that a new life is coming into the family, that you think itā€™s going to be like that. But obv itā€™s not always the case, for whatever reason. But my family are over the moon and so excited and so Iā€™m trying to celebrate that. Xxx hope your pregnancy goes well and that things get abit better for you too xxxx
 
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My MIL is fine if you stay away from topics such as gay people, transpeople, powerful women, POC, etc etc. We've clashed a lot over that in the past.

She's your typical 'I'm not racist/homophobic, but....' type. And she's an anti vaxxer. She is very controlling and doesn't like it if she can't be boss of a situation. My FIL is the biggest doormat I've ever met, although he is lovely. Her children are very much the opposite, much to her annoyance.

She means well and she cares deeply about her family, but she's very traditional in her views, shall we say. So I just try to stick to subjects like Bake Off and gardening.

She was raised to believe women are less than men and should stay at home and have babies, so she doesn't agree with women playing sport or being in positions of power. I feel kind of sorry for her in a way.
 
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My MIL is fine if you stay away from topics such as gay people, transpeople, powerful women, POC, etc etc. We've clashed a lot over that in the past.

She's your typical 'I'm not racist/homophobic, but....' type. And she's an anti vaxxer. She is very controlling and doesn't like it if she can't be boss of a situation. My FIL is the biggest doormat I've ever met, although he is lovely. Her children are very much the opposite, much to her annoyance.

She means well and she cares deeply about her family, but she's very traditional in her views, shall we say. So I just try to stick to subjects like Bake Off and gardening.

She was raised to believe women are less than men and should stay at home and have babies, so she doesn't agree with women playing sport or being in positions of power. I feel kind of sorry for her in a way.
Sounds like you're describing my MIL. "I'm not racist but...." is constantly being heard in her house. Luckily, I've managed to make it clear to her that I don't agree with her views and would prefer she didn't share them around me, but it took a long time to get to this position!
 
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That's awful, you'd think they'd be super excited. Even with it being number three they should still be buzzing! Congratulations, I hope all goes well with the pregnancy xx
*Update*
We got a congratulations card in the post this morning from MIL & FIL. I think this is a result of me saying something about their lack of reaction. Ha! Theyā€™ve never sent us a congratulations card before for our other two pregnancies. So they might not have said anything but theyā€™ve written it down šŸ¤¦šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø. Best bit is theyā€™ve written in the card ā€œso pleased for us allā€. šŸ˜‚šŸ™„
 
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*Update*
We got a congratulations card in the post this morning from MIL & FIL. I think this is a result of me saying something about their lack of reaction. Ha! Theyā€™ve never sent us a congratulations card before for our other two pregnancies. So they might not have said anything but theyā€™ve written it down šŸ¤¦šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø. Best bit is theyā€™ve written in the card ā€œso pleased for us allā€. šŸ˜‚šŸ™„
Awwww so pleased for you! I mean I donā€™t get why they couldnā€™t before- but itā€™s defo something and Iā€™m so happy for you xxxxx
 
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Awwww so pleased for you! I mean I donā€™t get why they couldnā€™t before- but itā€™s defo something and Iā€™m so happy for you xxxxx
Thanks!! Honestly theyā€™re such weird people. I guess I should just be pleased that theyā€™ve sent a token. Such odd behaviour though! Xx
 
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Mine is very selfish and has no filter. Her first remark on seeing me at the shops today was, "What on earth are you wearing?" (black dress pants, heels, and a frill neck top from Next that people often complement me on). At least it wasn't the usual, "Oooh have you put weight on? You really need to watch that." :mad:
 
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mine is actually very nice, shes a hair dresser and ive let her do my hair twice, but unfortunately (this is the one thing about her that pisses me off) she doesn't listen to what I say, she just cuts me off by saying "oh this isn't trendy here / oh we don't do this like this here" and ends up doing my hair however SHE decides, not however I want it.
 
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You know what I said this to my mum- when heā€™s here she will be all over him. And that will make me even more mad.
I was so excited about telling her and if Iā€™m honest I feel like sheā€™s really being rude to not even mention the pregnancy after so long! I even went on a walk with her the other day for an hour and she never mentioned it or asked how I was. Itā€™s so bizarre. My parents are upset too as in their conversations with her sheā€™s not mentioned it either- just like itā€™s swept under the carpet and something to not be spoken about! šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøSuper rude. And baffling.
I totally get what you say about peopleā€™s personalities being different but as you say itā€™s just manners to say congratulations isnā€™t it?
Il be honest it has upset me, as me and my partner are so excited with it being our first and it does hurt, abit like rejection.
I wish i was strong like you and could ask her what her problem is but Iā€™m scared about rocking the boat. But I really donā€™t want her around straight after the birth thatā€™s for sure and Iā€™m worried that will cause problems but I feel very strongly about that at the moment. Xxx
On the day following the birth of our premature twins (30 weeks) my husband rang his parents to see what time they would be coming to the hospital as visiting was very strict due to them being in intensive care. MIL said ā€˜Well we wonā€™t come today as itā€™s Thursday and your Uncle Fred always pops in for a cup of tea after heā€™s done his shoppingā€™. Husband was fuming. He told them in no uncertain terms that they should get their priorities sorted, Fred could visit any day whereas at that stage we had no idea how it would turn out for our babies (they were fine and are now healthy adults!)
 
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On the day following the birth of our premature twins (30 weeks) my husband rang his parents to see what time they would be coming to the hospital as visiting was very strict due to them being in intensive care. MIL said ā€˜Well we wonā€™t come today as itā€™s Thursday and your Uncle Fred always pops in for a cup of tea after heā€™s done his shoppingā€™. Husband was fuming. He told them in no uncertain terms that they should get their priorities sorted, Fred could visit any day whereas at that stage we had no idea how it would turn out for our babies (they were fine and are now healthy adults!)
Omg!!!! Thatā€™s awful! I canā€™t imagine how you must have felt. How are things with her now? Xx
 
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Mine is very selfish and has no filter. Her first remark on seeing me at the shops today was, "What on earth are you wearing?" (black dress pants, heels, and a frill neck top from Next that people often complement me on). At least it wasn't the usual, "Oooh have you put weight on? You really need to watch that." :mad:
Thats awful, what a nasty thing to say!
 
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Omg!!!! Thatā€™s awful! I canā€™t imagine how you must have felt. How are things with her now? Xx
Absolutely brilliant as she died ten years ago!
That makes me sound dreadful but I donā€™t care. She was a prize witch who masqueraded as a sweet little old lady and caused us so much grief. I wonā€™t go into what happened but she did something truly unforgivable at a time when we desperately needed help and emotional support. We didnā€™t speak for the last ten years of her life and the day she died I felt as though a huge cloud had lifted.
 
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Mine is the best in the world, I absolutely adore her. My own mother wasn't great, she was abusive and I left home in my teens, we haven't spoken since so my mother in law filled that gap. She took me in and looked after me and has been looking after us all ever since. I honestly don't know what I would do without her.
 
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My friend (who also has a MIL like mine and a husband who thinks said MIL can do no wrong) sent me this today.

I might print it out and frame it!

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My MIL messaged me in the early hours of the morning asking me to message a local hairdresser about an appointment for her ..... they havenā€™t even given them a date for reopening where we are yet.... what does she expect me to do??? Has she forgot we are in a lockdown/pandemic šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø
 
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My MIL messaged me in the early hours of the morning asking me to message a local hairdresser about an appointment for her ..... they havenā€™t even given them a date for reopening where we are yet.... what does she expect me to do??? Has she forgot we are in a lockdown/pandemic šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø
Why can't she contact them herself? šŸ˜‚
 
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*Update*
We got a congratulations card in the post this morning from MIL & FIL. I think this is a result of me saying something about their lack of reaction. Ha! Theyā€™ve never sent us a congratulations card before for our other two pregnancies. So they might not have said anything but theyā€™ve written it down šŸ¤¦šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļø. Best bit is theyā€™ve written in the card ā€œso pleased for us allā€. šŸ˜‚šŸ™„
Lost the baby at 11 and a half weeks on Tuesday. No contact from the MIL yet... wonder if sheā€™ll ask for her card back.
 
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