One of my husband's brothers married a lovely woman who is seven years his senior. That's the daughter-in-law who received the most criticism and disapproval.
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So after the Christmas debacle, she also didn’t acknowledge my birthday. It was my OH’s birtnday a couple days later and she offered to “take us both out for our birthday”. Which was kind, but why wait until a week after mine to tell us this? It was f all to do with it being my birthday she just wanted Brownie points
Of course it was. They seem to enjoy playing these sort of games. Mines always does 'enough' so that my other half can't complain to her. They are manipulative like that.
Keep your head up, you're already a step ahead because you know what she's doing. I'm just so sorry that we all have to go through stuff like this! Il never understand these women.
I feel that I would play her at her own game.
I would publicly and wholeheartedly approve of her decision not to exchange unnecessary and unwanted gifts at Christmas. I would announce that from now on you will also be only buying gifts for children of the extended family. Make it seem that it was her idea. See how she reacts to that.
Mine has written her own eulogy for that very reason
. I mean who does that?
My MIL keeps going on about how she could get away with being mistaken for my children's Mum rather than Grandmother. And how it has happened on days out 
. What actually happened was someone said to my daughter that she needed her Mum with her to ride the carousel. She took that as being called her Mum. We had our children very young so she probably is on the younger end of being a Grandma. My eldest is 16 and youngest is 8. MIL is 63 and looks every year her age. She would have been 47 to have had my eldest and 55 to have had my youngest. All though probably not impossible, it's not right. Makes my eyes roll into the back of my head
. What actually happened was someone said to my daughter that she needed her Mum with her to ride the carousel. She took that as being called her Mum. We had our children very young so she probably is on the younger end of being a Grandma. My eldest is 16 and youngest is 8. MIL is 63 and looks every year her age. She would have been 47 to have had my eldest and 55 to have had my youngest. All though probably not impossible, it's not right. Makes my eyes roll into the back of my head
Mine is a real pain in the bum. She was really mean about me a few years ago, which luckily seems to have stopped, but she still drives me mad. She wants to plan things MONTHS and MONTHS in advance. Last July she wanted to arrange a weekend away for the first May bank holiday this year and was pressuring us to confirm. My husband has two friends due to get married this year, so he didn't want to commit and she got in a big huff about it. The next thing we know, she's bloody booked something and just sends the link. Then we get a message to say she'd been offered an extra night half price, so it's a three night trip instead of two, and "we can just finish work early" on the Friday. What, you're my manager now, are you? My husband just says "oh, that's just what she's like" and never says anything. It gets on my nerves.
There's never any consideration of the type of place we might like to go, or whether there's a particular part of the country that we'd like to visit. She just tells us where it is we're going. This one has water sports activities available - none of us participate in water sports!!! My husband refuses to drive, so I'll be the one getting us there. It pisses me off.
She likes to keep score of how much time we spend with each other parent. Both of our parents are divorced, so even if we spent two weekends with her each year (which is never enough for her), in order to be even we'd have eight weekends accounted for by parental visits and activities across the four of them.
The other thing is that everything always has to be a big group exercise. My husband can't just go to visit, I've got to go, too. Then she'll invite her husband's son and his husband. The weekend away is us, her and her husband, plus her husband's son and his husband. I like the husband's son and his husband, but it's like, she's always trying to make the big happy family thing happen. The offspring were all in their 20s when her and her husband got married, it's not like they were children and grew up together as step siblings. My husband's brother lives in Australia, and as always when we're with her, we'll have to have a big Skype call with him, a big group event. It's too much. There's a big "family" whatsapp group which is dominated by her and my brother in law's partner posting pictures of their baby. I'm not interested!! Then there'll be a snide comment about me not replying...
The brother is getting married next year - my husband and I have already agreed I'm not going, which will probably go down like a lead balloon - she's already making arrangements to get a big house for "us all to stay in" - that being her step son/husband, her sister's family etc. Maybe people want to make their own plans?!
There's never any consideration of the type of place we might like to go, or whether there's a particular part of the country that we'd like to visit. She just tells us where it is we're going. This one has water sports activities available - none of us participate in water sports!!! My husband refuses to drive, so I'll be the one getting us there. It pisses me off.
She likes to keep score of how much time we spend with each other parent. Both of our parents are divorced, so even if we spent two weekends with her each year (which is never enough for her), in order to be even we'd have eight weekends accounted for by parental visits and activities across the four of them.
The other thing is that everything always has to be a big group exercise. My husband can't just go to visit, I've got to go, too. Then she'll invite her husband's son and his husband. The weekend away is us, her and her husband, plus her husband's son and his husband. I like the husband's son and his husband, but it's like, she's always trying to make the big happy family thing happen. The offspring were all in their 20s when her and her husband got married, it's not like they were children and grew up together as step siblings. My husband's brother lives in Australia, and as always when we're with her, we'll have to have a big Skype call with him, a big group event. It's too much. There's a big "family" whatsapp group which is dominated by her and my brother in law's partner posting pictures of their baby. I'm not interested!! Then there'll be a snide comment about me not replying...
The brother is getting married next year - my husband and I have already agreed I'm not going, which will probably go down like a lead balloon - she's already making arrangements to get a big house for "us all to stay in" - that being her step son/husband, her sister's family etc. Maybe people want to make their own plans?!
that sounds like hell to me, I like my own peace and quiet
I couldn’t put up with her dictating events and dates etcThis sounds all too familiar! I've been told now I'm married that we come as a pair and I have to go to every family event with her son. I can't imagine NOT wanting some one-on-one time with your own child?!
EXACTLY!! It changes the dynamic when there's a partner there. Fair enough "come as a pair" some of the time, but not every bloody time. I spend time with each of my parents on my own, my husband sees his dad on his own. But with her, it's like if EVERYONE isn't there, it's not good enough. Drives me mad!!
She sounds a high maintenance moaner
God she sounds absolutely exhausting and trying to create forced fun
What a control freak! I just could not be arsed with this, you must be so so frustrated.
I think both my mum and MIL could be this way inclined if we let them but me and my husband are 100% a united front and we just say no if we don’t want to do something - emphatically and that’s the end of the discussion
. Your husband needs to show her that you’re on the same page, otherwise she’ll push even more. Nothing is ever enough for people like this and the older I’ve got, I’ve learned how important it is to assert your boundaries, for your own peace of mind.
My MIL lives in a small block of 9 flats, there is a monthly charge for cleaner of communal areas, gardening etc. She believes they are not doing as much as they should and keeps on at us to chop hedges and clean the communal front door which for some reason isn't factored in for the cleaner to do. I just tell her to get onto the management team and discuss it with them, which she has done. They pointed out if she wanted more it would cost more and none of the other flats want to pay any more and are happy with the way things are. So she then gets back to us and around and around again we go. She puts on a silly baby voice saying the hedge is too high and she can't see anything. There is only a train line behind this hedge and nothing else to see. She just wants it tidying up. A firm no is going nowhere, I'm sick of it.
Send her the number of a local Gardener and say to ask them?
Buy her a set of garden shears, secateurs with some gardening gloves 
She's so obese she doesn't go out anymore, the doctor even goes to her and a poor woman who calls to tend to her misshapen trotters . She did phone a gardener up but once he realised it was tended by contract gardeners he quite rightly informed her he wasn't going to get involved and pointed out legal implications. She told him he wasn't very helpful. Hence why she's back pestering us. We have been calling around after it goes dark so she can't try and suggest we go out there. This firm no is going to be delivered louder and louder.
Maybe there are legal implications to you doing the work too if it’s contracted. Hope that’s the case for your sakes. Just say your hands are tied. Sorry.
Yes you are all right, she just won't listen. I should be visiting soon but I've put it off citing the weather. She just makes me weary and angry at the same time. I'm totally done. That's the last I will comment on this particular gripe I'm sure you are all as fed up with it as I am.
Don't worry mate, the annoying fuckers get you like that. Keep your head up xxxYes you are all right, she just won't listen. I should be visiting soon but I've put it off citing the weather. She just makes me weary and angry at the same time. I'm totally done. That's the last I will comment on this particular gripe I'm sure you are all as fed up with it as I am.
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