Mother in law experiences #2

[watermelon sugar]

Old thread

Mother in law experiences? Share them! 🤣

Iv always really liked my MIL, but we told her I was pregnant the other night and I felt like she didn’t seem that bothered (not compared to my parents reaction) and so I felt abit down about it. But maybe it’s my hormones? I don’t know what I expected really and I suppose it’s abit unfair of...

tattle.life

Carry on sharing your Mother in Law experiences people

Here's one of mine: I've heard my MIL sing the Teletubbies theme tune at least once everyday since my 17 month old was born

 

[Rodneytrotter]

My MIL never contacts us anymore. Literally unless I text her first and then she will phone me. Ive left it a month to see if she would contact us but haven't heard a thing. My husband doesn't care at all (well he says he doesn't). I dont know whether to give up or to keep making the first move i try and keep contact going because they are the only family I have.

Not gonna lie though id rather this than her being all in my face

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Need some advice actually but trying to find a way to word it without telling my life story

Essentially, my partner is struggling a lot with his mum. Whenever something good happens to him/us, it is overshadowed by what his older sister and brother in law are doing in their lives. She shows favourites big time, and this doesn’t stop at her own children but actually extends to her grandchildren and she goes out of her way to show it (whether she means it or not). My partner recently got promoted (a big, big promotion) but she just rolled her eyes and made some sarcastic comment and then moved onto something about my SIL. Whenever my kids do something good, it is related back to my youngest niece, and this isn’t just like once or twice, it is EVERY time and I can see it starting to affect my eldest. There’s loads of other bits and bobs she does that wind us up big time but it’s come to a head now where the continuous rejection from his mum has grinding my partner into the ground. It’s like he will never be happy unless his mum tells him she’s proud of him, but this will never happen. She’s hugely narcissistic and thrives of off negativity and even surrounds herself with it, continuously slagging off her younger daughters, husband and friends but then when she’s called out on it will gaslight you and make you believe it never happened or rewrite what she’s said. She’s always making my partner feel inferior to her son in law, and basically treats him better than her own flesh and blood despite the fact he’s absolutely vile. We’ve just told her the gender of our baby and she related it back to my niece…again (how?!). She’s also obsessed with what my own parents are up to and tries to compete with them regularly by offering days out, holidays etc etc which I am incredibly grateful for, but they are no fun for anyone when it is purely out of trying to be the one up. You get the gist.

Anyway, I have advised my partner to take a step back from his family and have some breathing space before things get too heated. His mum, unfortunately, will cry her way out of any situation and manipulate you into feeling guilty when you’re simply just standing up for yourself. In a roundabout way, I have told him to keep his distance and not involve them so much in his life if he is just going to be constantly hurt by their/mainly her responses but he is struggling with this as well, that’s his mum and family, and he doesn’t want it to be that way - and I don’t want it to be that way as I want my kids to have a support system should they need it, I’m just wondering if it’s worth the hassle.

He is a good, good man. One of life’s good eggs, so in my opinion doesn’t deserve to be treated like this by his mum. It’s clearly eating away at him as he talks about it a lot but I’m not sure what to suggest. Has anyone else been in this position or similar? I’m trying not to interfere as I’d never want to take him away from his family but also, she’s an actual cow and my life is easiest not seeing her as much/at all.

 

[elchapo]

Need some advice actually but trying to find a way to word it without telling my life story

Essentially, my partner is struggling a lot with his mum. Whenever something good happens to him/us, it is overshadowed by what his older sister and brother in law are doing in their lives. She shows favourites big time, and this doesn’t stop at her own children but actually extends to her grandchildren and she goes out of her way to show it (whether she means it or not). My partner recently got promoted (a big, big promotion) but she just rolled her eyes and made some sarcastic comment and then moved onto something about my SIL. Whenever my kids do something good, it is related back to my youngest niece, and this isn’t just like once or twice, it is EVERY time and I can see it starting to affect my eldest. There’s loads of other bits and bobs she does that wind us up big time but it’s come to a head now where the continuous rejection from his mum has grinding my partner into the ground. It’s like he will never be happy unless his mum tells him she’s proud of him, but this will never happen. She’s hugely narcissistic and thrives of off negativity and even surrounds herself with it, continuously slagging off her younger daughters, husband and friends but then when she’s called out on it will gaslight you and make you believe it never happened or rewrite what she’s said. She’s always making my partner feel inferior to her son in law, and basically treats him better than her own flesh and blood despite the fact he’s absolutely vile. We’ve just told her the gender of our baby and she related it back to my niece…again (how?!). She’s also obsessed with what my own parents are up to and tries to compete with them regularly by offering days out, holidays etc etc which I am incredibly grateful for, but they are no fun for anyone when it is purely out of trying to be the one up. You get the gist.

Anyway, I have advised my partner to take a step back from his family and have some breathing space before things get too heated. His mum, unfortunately, will cry her way out of any situation and manipulate you into feeling guilty when you’re simply just standing up for yourself. In a roundabout way, I have told him to keep his distance and not involve them so much in his life if he is just going to be constantly hurt by their/mainly her responses but he is struggling with this as well, that’s his mum and family, and he doesn’t want it to be that way - and I don’t want it to be that way as I want my kids to have a support system should they need it, I’m just wondering if it’s worth the hassle.

He is a good, good man. One of life’s good eggs, so in my opinion doesn’t deserve to be treated like this by his mum. It’s clearly eating away at him as he talks about it a lot but I’m not sure what to suggest. Has anyone else been in this position or similar? I’m trying not to interfere as I’d never want to take him away from his family but also, she’s an actual cow and my life is easiest not seeing her as much/at all.

She sounds like my Nanna, who my Mum and Dad cut contact with years ago. We’ve never looked back. I’m 26 now, it was before my 14 year old sister was even born so she’s never met her and I don’t feel as though I’ve missed out whatsoever. I had a wonderful, wonderful Grandma on my Mum’s side until she sadly passed away in 2018. She (my Nanna) continued to send birthday and Christmas cards to me for a while but they stopped and she’s never tried to reach out to me despite the fact I’ve seen her on social media commenting on posts my cousin makes. She was toxic trash and even I remember seeing that from a young age. I would honestly cut her off, she’s never going to change and you, your poor husband and your children shouldn’t have to deal with her anymore. I remember my achievements getting compared to those of my younger cousin too and honestly if we hadn’t cut her off before I became a teenager I can imagine it would have been damaging to both my psyche and my relationship with my cousins too.

 

[Pjta]

My MIL is constantly comparing and one upping and it's driving me mad! She tries to play people in the family off against eachother and portrays this perfect family but they all speak to eachother like rubbish. Everyone has to do everything together ALL THE TIME. If we have a party for my daughter and my own parents leave say at 6 and MIL and FIL don't until 8 they will make a big thing about asking why mine left early. Where was they going? Etc.
FIL knocks and walks in without even acknowledging me or my daughter. If partner asks them to stop dropping in unannounced they go really off with us. It's pathetic but I can see how bullying they are as in it's easier to say nothing but I can't live like that. My partner started crying because his parents were really rude about my family and because I wanted to talk about it he got upset saying he can't talk about it it's draining theyl never change it's just then. But then I'm left thinking he's just palming me off - hes cried so I drop it and they get to be rude becuase "that's just them"

Also I've noticed and it's actually hilarious - if I post on Instagram that I've been with my own mother, MIL will 100 percent drop by that night. Every single time. Shel bring something really random like kitchen roll and say she was passing (we live 20 mins from eachother) and drop in. It is the most bizarre behaviour I've ever known.

 

[elchapo]

My MIL is constantly comparing and one upping and it's driving me mad! She tries to play people in the family off against eachother and portrays this perfect family but they all speak to eachother like rubbish. Everyone has to do everything together ALL THE TIME. If we have a party for my daughter and my own parents leave say at 6 and MIL and FIL don't until 8 they will make a big thing about asking why mine left early. Where was they going? Etc.
FIL knocks and walks in without even acknowledging me or my daughter. If partner asks them to stop dropping in unannounced they go really off with us. It's pathetic but I can see how bullying they are as in it's easier to say nothing but I can't live like that. My partner started crying because his parents were really rude about my family and because I wanted to talk about it he got upset saying he can't talk about it it's draining theyl never change it's just then. But then I'm left thinking he's just palming me off - hes cried so I drop it and they get to be rude becuase "that's just them"

Also I've noticed and it's actually hilarious - if I post on Instagram that I've been with my own mother, MIL will 100 percent drop by that night. Every single time. Shel bring something really random like kitchen roll and say she was passing (we live 20 mins from eachother) and drop in. It is the most bizarre behaviour I've ever known.

God, they sound like a right pair of bastards - your poor partner, he ought to cut them off by the sounds of it… I honestly think there’s no changing some people and I wouldn’t even give them the opportunity to make your life hell anymore.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

Need some advice actually but trying to find a way to word it without telling my life story

Essentially, my partner is struggling a lot with his mum. Whenever something good happens to him/us, it is overshadowed by what his older sister and brother in law are doing in their lives. She shows favourites big time, and this doesn’t stop at her own children but actually extends to her grandchildren and she goes out of her way to show it (whether she means it or not). My partner recently got promoted (a big, big promotion) but she just rolled her eyes and made some sarcastic comment and then moved onto something about my SIL. Whenever my kids do something good, it is related back to my youngest niece, and this isn’t just like once or twice, it is EVERY time and I can see it starting to affect my eldest. There’s loads of other bits and bobs she does that wind us up big time but it’s come to a head now where the continuous rejection from his mum has grinding my partner into the ground. It’s like he will never be happy unless his mum tells him she’s proud of him, but this will never happen. She’s hugely narcissistic and thrives of off negativity and even surrounds herself with it, continuously slagging off her younger daughters, husband and friends but then when she’s called out on it will gaslight you and make you believe it never happened or rewrite what she’s said. She’s always making my partner feel inferior to her son in law, and basically treats him better than her own flesh and blood despite the fact he’s absolutely vile. We’ve just told her the gender of our baby and she related it back to my niece…again (how?!). She’s also obsessed with what my own parents are up to and tries to compete with them regularly by offering days out, holidays etc etc which I am incredibly grateful for, but they are no fun for anyone when it is purely out of trying to be the one up. You get the gist.

Anyway, I have advised my partner to take a step back from his family and have some breathing space before things get too heated. His mum, unfortunately, will cry her way out of any situation and manipulate you into feeling guilty when you’re simply just standing up for yourself. In a roundabout way, I have told him to keep his distance and not involve them so much in his life if he is just going to be constantly hurt by their/mainly her responses but he is struggling with this as well, that’s his mum and family, and he doesn’t want it to be that way - and I don’t want it to be that way as I want my kids to have a support system should they need it, I’m just wondering if it’s worth the hassle.

He is a good, good man. One of life’s good eggs, so in my opinion doesn’t deserve to be treated like this by his mum. It’s clearly eating away at him as he talks about it a lot but I’m not sure what to suggest. Has anyone else been in this position or similar? I’m trying not to interfere as I’d never want to take him away from his family but also, she’s an actual cow and my life is easiest not seeing her as much/at all.

Ive been in your partners position. I grew up with nothing but rejection, bullying, sneers, criticism and comparisons from my father. I tried to talk to my dad about how I felt but it would end with him yelling, telling me im a spoilt brat, reminding me that I have it easier than his generation and would end with me feeling ashamed and guilty.

The hardest but best thing I ever did was cut him out of my life. Its been 5 months and I've never felt better.

 

[Blonde123]

My MIL is constantly comparing and one upping and it's driving me mad! She tries to play people in the family off against eachother and portrays this perfect family but they all speak to eachother like rubbish. Everyone has to do everything together ALL THE TIME. If we have a party for my daughter and my own parents leave say at 6 and MIL and FIL don't until 8 they will make a big thing about asking why mine left early. Where was they going? Etc.
FIL knocks and walks in without even acknowledging me or my daughter. If partner asks them to stop dropping in unannounced they go really off with us. It's pathetic but I can see how bullying they are as in it's easier to say nothing but I can't live like that. My partner started crying because his parents were really rude about my family and because I wanted to talk about it he got upset saying he can't talk about it it's draining theyl never change it's just then. But then I'm left thinking he's just palming me off - hes cried so I drop it and they get to be rude becuase "that's just them"

Also I've noticed and it's actually hilarious - if I post on Instagram that I've been with my own mother, MIL will 100 percent drop by that night. Every single time. Shel bring something really random like kitchen roll and say she was passing (we live 20 mins from eachother) and drop in. It is the most bizarre behaviour I've ever known.

Have you pretended you aren’t in when she comes knocking in the evenings. Or answer the door in just a robe with a can of whipped cream in hand and say “oh sorry. (Insert husbands name) and I are a bit busy at the moment”

 

[Pjta]

Have you pretended you aren’t in when she comes knocking in the evenings. Or answer the door in just a robe with a can of whipped cream in hand and say “oh sorry. (Insert husbands name) and I are a bit busy at the moment”

Hahaha to be honest she has so much front she doesn't care. She comes in when we literally have dinner in the table and just doesn't care. She is honestly like no one I've ever met before.

 

[Captainmouse]

Have you pretended you aren’t in when she comes knocking in the evenings. Or answer the door in just a robe with a can of whipped cream in hand and say “oh sorry. (Insert husbands name) and I are a bit busy at the moment”

Answer with your coat on and say you’re going out

 

[Rxt156]

Can’t believe some people are like this! Absolutely shocking. I think it must come from jealousy.

 

[Mr Daydream]

I phoned my MIL the other day and said ‘hi it’s me’ and she paused for like 5 seconds and then said ‘sorry, who is this?’ She’s got my number saved and has known me for 7 years

 

[Dak1988]

I phoned my MIL the other day and said ‘hi it’s me’ and she paused for like 5 seconds and then said ‘sorry, who is this?’ She’s got my number saved and has known me for 7 years

Haha wow what a cow. Why are they like this

 

[Base2019]

I phoned my MIL the other day and said ‘hi it’s me’ and she paused for like 5 seconds and then said ‘sorry, who is this?’ She’s got my number saved and has known me for 7 years

I’m sorry but this made me so sassy

 

[Mr Daydream]

I’m sorry but this made me so sassy

If you don’t laugh you’ll cry haha

 

[1001 others]

We dropped in to see mine on the weekend and when my husband was out of earshot she did her usual, "1001, you look so pale ... you're obviously eating well as you've put on weight..." (she knows I'm having medical treatment at the moment). She also got all cross with me for chatting to the man next door - who she doesn't like - about his garden ... she demanded to know what he'd been saying about her .

It can't be healthy being so bitter.

 

[Rodneytrotter]

We dropped in to see mine on the weekend and when my husband was out of earshot she did her usual, "1001, you look so pale ... you're obviously eating well as you've put on weight..." (she knows I'm having medical treatment at the moment). She also got all cross with me for chatting to the man next door - who she doesn't like - about his garden ... she demanded to know what he'd been saying about her .

It can't be healthy being so bitter.

Im sorry she said that to you about your weight, you don't have to put up with that xxx

 

[Rxt156]

I think my MIL has crazy potential and when the baby comes I think it’ll come out in the open!

Not a big deal but she offered everyone a drink when we were at her house I said ooo yes tea please! She said with a tone are you allowed to drink tea when pregnant???? I said yes I’ve had hardly any caffeine today, she said are you sure???

YES woman I am bloody sure. I’m having a cup of tea not a gin & tonic now pour it or get out of the way and I’ll do it! As if I’d put my baby in danger over a brew.

 

[Blonde123]

We dropped in to see mine on the weekend and when my husband was out of earshot she did her usual, "1001, you look so pale ... you're obviously eating well as you've put on weight..." (she knows I'm having medical treatment at the moment). She also got all cross with me for chatting to the man next door - who she doesn't like - about his garden ... she demanded to know what he'd been saying about her .

It can't be healthy being so bitter.

“He was just saying how much he wants to snog you” would have been my response.

 

[WilmaHun]

Mine cried to me last night because I've not told my sister in law (who has been horrible to me for the past 8 years) about a big life event I've got going on. I explained my reasons for not wanting to tell said SIL, that all she does is criticise, she won't be happy for me etc, and my MIL replied "she has a right to know about your life". Sorry hun, she lost that right when she decided to spend 8 years being awful to me.