MOD & FOD #30 Comments from Yoda: A tw*t, you are

[Dogmuck]

I mean, duck the Hoopers!
My husband and I have pretty much lost all our income for the foreseeable due to Covid. We just bought a house with a massive mortgage that actually does need renovating! I’ve been shitting myself how we’re going to survive but Rebecca has answered my prayers.

Gimme dem freebies, Fine! Show me the money!*


*never going to happen. I’m sure they must have the wrong account

So I’m dying to know about your insta account now!

I know that this is a bit out there, but you’ve got a new house that needs renovating, have you thought about maybe something like a house renovation Instagram account? Something like House of Fuey? I know it’s quite a wacky idea but you never know it could catch on. Get writing to that Fine lady and tell her you’re up for it! Please show all correspondence on Tattle

 

[EddieBeds]

Evening all
Not been on here or insta today so just done a quick catch up on both. It was a lot of hard work. So please, someone tell me, how does one, run a “of daughters” account, a “of horrors” account, read comments on those accounts, then respond where necessary and delete...continually, work a full time job, parent 4 girls, care for a dog, go on 40km bike rides, do a duck off massive renovation AND read here? Honestly that just knackered me out typing it! Something isn’t happening, obvs they aren’t renovating but I’m guessing the dog and the kids are getting kicked to the curb in order to police their Instagram accounts and read here (for expert reno account and drilling tips). Seriously if I don’t come on here 5-10 times a day to check what you funny witch trolls are writing I’m pages behind and that’s without commenting. The way the Hoopers are patrolling their HOH account I’m guessing nobody has eaten in a week in that house and there’s dog tit everywhere!

Could make for a fun game of ou est le tit when they come up for air from their deleting session on House of Horrors.

 

[Emmadale]

Evening all
Not been on here or insta today so just done a quick catch up on both. It was a lot of hard work. So please, someone tell me, how does one, run a “of daughters” account, a “of horrors” account, read comments on those accounts, then respond where necessary and delete...continually, work a full time job, parent 4 girls, care for a dog, go on 40km bike rides, do a duck off massive renovation AND read here? Honestly that just knackered me out typing it! Something isn’t happening, obvs they aren’t renovating but I’m guessing the dog and the kids are getting kicked to the curb in order to police their Instagram accounts and read here (for expert reno account and drilling tips). Seriously if I don’t come on here 5-10 times a day to check what you funny witch trolls are writing I’m pages behind and that’s without commenting. The way the Hoopers are patrolling their HOH account I’m guessing nobody has eaten in a week in that house and there’s dog tit everywhere!

Exactly this. I’ve always wondered how they have time to fit it all in. They really must be so obsessed with the free stuff and insta fame to carry it all on as it must be so exhausting.

No wonder he looks like he hasn’t slept in 3 years!

 

[Dogmuck]

Exactly this. I’ve always wondered how they have time to fit it all in. They really must be so obsessed with the free stuff and insta fame to carry it all on as it must be so exhausting.

No wonder he looks like he hasn’t slept in 3 years!

Honestly though, I alway laugh at these influencers who tell me about how hard their life is and how much time and effort they put it...now I’m starting to doubt my own smirks. The Hoopers must be working shifts and have maybe recruited a couple of the grannies to patrol that house of Hooper site because not one bitchin comment is getting past their scrutiny. They are ruining my life! Bastards!

 

[OhMyWord]

Exactly this. I’ve always wondered how they have time to fit it all in. They really must be so obsessed with the free stuff and insta fame to carry it all on as it must be so exhausting.

No wonder he looks like he hasn’t slept in 3 years!

I just can’t imagine being a friend of theirs, chit-chatting about your weekend or what you’ve been up to in lockdown. “Well, Tim, we launched this reno page because Clem fucked up so big time that we had to fulfil sponsorship contracts somehow and we spent the past weekend deleting comments from the trolls who remember that we specifically said we wouldn’t show the girls’ rooms on social media. And I had to make more content so Darlene in Wisconsin could pretend we’re best friends. I’m bleeping tired!”

 

[PoorPatrol]

I thought it was quite telling (although he was possibly lying anyway), that he responded very quickly to a query about Clemmie by saying she was currently wrangling the twins into shoes or some such guff. If that was actually happening, is he saying he’s checking Instagram while she’s doing the parenting? What level of priority is this account if it’s just for LOLs? They don’t want free stuff. Noooo no no nooooo! Why would anyone suggest such a thing? And yet, in the middle of WFH and homeschooling and entertaining x4 kids and a dog, they’re just doing a brand shoutout #adgift account for the craic?? God they’re such cunts!!

 

[Emmadale]

Honestly though, I alway laugh at these influencers who tell me about how hard their life is and how much time and effort they put it...now I’m starting to doubt my own smirks. The Hoopers must be working shifts and have maybe recruited a couple of the grannies to patrol that house of Hooper site because not one bitchin comment is getting past their scrutiny. They are ruining my life! Bastards!

They must have no downtime. We’re balancing our full time jobs and ONE toddler and it’s blooming busy. I just want to sit and chill when he goes to bed...watch some crap TV, mooch on tattle, do a bit of work I didn’t get done in the day as I was looking after said toddler while other half had meetings.

I don’t feel sorry for them, serves the grabby fuckers right that they have to spend their time deleting and blocking to protect the freebies!

FYI CB didn’t respond when I asked her what she thought of Clemmie’s return via HOH. Presuming she doesn’t want any negativity with her book launch.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

So I’m dying to know about your insta account now!

I know that this is a bit out there, but you’ve got a new house that needs renovating, have you thought about maybe something like a house renovation Instagram account? Something like House of Fuey? I know it’s quite a wacky idea but you never know it could catch on. Get writing to that Fine lady and tell her you’re up for it! Please show all correspondence on Tattle

The weird thing is my account is private and I’m probably one of the dullest people you could follow (unless you like cats and music?). I can only think it was a mistake or linked to my job somehow as I have clients with decent followings, but they are as far removed from influencers as you could get.

I could never be an influencer. What an utterly ridiculous “job”. I find the whole thing so cringe and desperate. I’d rather die than admit that’s what I did .

If I could be arsed, I could do an experiment for us all but I’m too bloody lazy. Although the lure of a new kitchen could sway me....

 

[Emmadale]

Changed her profile pic on FB...to show ‘hey I’m a midwife’ saving the NHS!

 

[Brian Butterfield]

View attachment 133228

Changed her profile pic on FB...to show ‘hey I’m a midwife’ saving the NHS!

Just looked and we have a mutual friend who is starting to go down the cool mum Instagram influencer route

They are everywhere!

 

[Rosieee]

View attachment 133228

Changed her profile pic on FB...to show ‘hey I’m a midwife’ saving the NHS!

With a baby who didn’t ask to be on the internet the minute he was born. Can’t help themselves

 

[Cariad]

View attachment 133228

Changed her profile pic on FB...to show ‘hey I’m a midwife’ saving the NHS!

.....who apparently still lives in London

 

[Mustard]

Her eyelashes look like spiders and her lipliner is very obvious. Can midwives really wear such heavy caked on mascara? And that nose ring? Urgh, I really don’t get how that is allowed due to possible infection.

 

[EddieBeds]

They must have no downtime. We’re balancing our full time jobs and ONE toddler and it’s blooming busy. I just want to sit and chill when he goes to bed...watch some crap TV, mooch on tattle, do a bit of work I didn’t get done in the day as I was looking after said toddler while other half had meetings.

I don’t feel sorry for them, serves the grabby fuckers right that they have to spend their time deleting and blocking to protect the freebies!

FYI CB didn’t respond when I asked her what she thought of Clemmie’s return via HOH. Presuming she doesn’t want any negativity with her book launch.

I dip in and out of the Hinch thread (she and the SODs are cut from the same cloth, grabby over exposure of their kids and living off freebies) and someone commented over there a while ago that the ability to leave comments on her posts (or maybe just new posts) gets switched off overnight - no idea if there is any truth behind that though. If that function does exist maybe that gives their thumbs a momentary break from scrolling and deleting?

Edited to say that I just looked it up and you can switch comments on and off with ease. Don’t know if Hinch actually does this - just saw it mentioned on her thread.

 

[Pocahontas]

The weird thing is my account is private and I’m probably one of the dullest people you could follow (unless you like cats and music?)

Cats in as ... ‘cats’?

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Cats in as ... ‘cats’?

 

[Pocahontas]

View attachment 133262

Christ that’s horrific
Your Instagram must be terrifying

 

[SequinnedElephant]

Ok, my friends - bring to mind if you will the tune of Salt and Pepa’s seminal ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’. FOD’s beatboxing, because he likes his 90s hiphop. Then:

Spindlerella, cut it up one time
Let’s talk about stairs, baby
Let’s talk about @roger_oates and me
Let’s talk about all the things in life that I want for free
Let’s talk ABOUT stairs
Let’s talk about stairs.

Then, FOD starts rapping. He’s wearing his pink cycling socks, his Mamil lycra, a backwards baseball cap and yes, the baboon’s arse cycling shorts. Mic drop.
This song was in my head all day. Cos of spindles. YES I NEED TO GET OUT MORE.

This is amazing

 

[Dogmuck]

View attachment 133262

I’m pretty sure that’s the first cat photo I’ve ever liked that’s brilliant
Can I follow you on Instagram

 

[Breakdance Badass]

Evening all
Not been on here or insta today so just done a quick catch up on both. It was a lot of hard work. So please, someone tell me, how does one, run a “of daughters” account, a “of horrors” account, read comments on those accounts, then respond where necessary and delete...continually, work a full time job, parent 4 girls, care for a dog, go on 40km bike rides, do a duck off massive renovation AND read here? Honestly that just knackered me out typing it! Something isn’t happening, obvs they aren’t renovating but I’m guessing the dog and the kids are getting kicked to the curb in order to police their Instagram accounts and read here (for expert reno account and drilling tips). Seriously if I don’t come on here 5-10 times a day to check what you funny witch trolls are writing I’m pages behind and that’s without commenting. The way the Hoopers are patrolling their HOH account I’m guessing nobody has eaten in a week in that house and there’s dog tit everywhere!

I’m the same, I’ve been too invested in Jack Monroe to give time to these idiots. I came on and it’s taken me days to catch up. I have to ask why are they obsessed with spindles? Who sees the spindles apart from them? Give over you couple of weirdos and Clammie, get a helmet!