MOD & FOD #28 Pink jumpsuit MAMIL, toe of camel, had corona, but got no boner

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I downloaded Tik Tok for 5 minutes and my 9 year old nearly cried with shame and made me delete it. I make her cringe just by breathing funny. God knows how his older girls cope.
Someone I know often got her girls to behave by threatening to turn up at the school gates in what they deemed embarrassing items of clothing.
 
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If you guys want a lovely dovey feel good song:



They've used real notes from her diary from when she met him.

"being together makes her feel alive".

Not constantly taking digs at her.
 
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Here is my idea of #mumporn : a dad who respects our kids privacy and personal space, play with them without shoving a phone in their face every 5 minutes and also shares the domestic load without bragging about it. Also a partner who doesn’t wear my clothes. Or Lycra.
My idea of #mumporn involves David Gandy and Idris Elba...🤷‍♀️🤪
 
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I’ve never not been able to see Dean Gaffney, he’d probably just need cheek fillers and a stylist and he could make his second fortune?

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He must be finding it so frustrating to be constantly churning out “hilarious” content but consistently losing 1000 followers with each post...I can just imagine him refreshing his screen and saying “WHY don’t they love it?? Mum porn is GENIUS”
 
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@heretoreaditall2019 I blooming loved David Gandy-my friend was one of the heads at the Autograph Campaign at M&S ages ago.I went with my friend to see him in store at Marble Arch-He was lovely, shook our hands, chatted for a while and gave us a signed photo with our names on! 🙄 Hilarious when I think about it now. Although Light Blue Intense remains one of my favourite perfumes ever...I hate that Eastenders actor 😂😂😂
 
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We have a new story.... opting for the vote tactic to increase engagement.... what is his content I hear you ask??

Roast Chicken crisps, whether they are the worst crisps ever? I kid thee not.... AND Walkers crisps without an #ad or #gifted... it's like he's got the Spon Con begging bowl out 🙄🙄
 
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@heretoreaditall2019 I blooming loved David Gandy-my friend was one of the heads at the Autograph Campaign at M&S ages ago.I went with my friend to see him in store at Marble Arch-He was lovely, shook our hands, chatted for a while and gave us a signed photo with our names on! 🙄 Hilarious when I think about it now. Although Light Blue Intense remains one of my favourite perfumes ever...I hate that Eastenders actor 😂😂😂
Hahaha I’m not surprised, I think he’s said a few things that suggest he really, really likes himself - not that I blame him tbh he’s clearly made a killing from being DG!

Gaffney is another Paul Hollywood, always has a harem of beautiful early 20s girlfriends. Grim, don’t know how either of them manage it? 🤢
 
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If the chicken crisps vote wasn’t bad enough we’ve now got philosopher Fod, using nature’s photo frame of course and the twinnies. Urgh he’s going to be embracing nothing new post Covid-19 unless it comes with #ad #gifted.
 
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Will the Tattler reveal themselves. Love how it’s sandwiched between two nauseating posts
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If the chicken crisps vote wasn’t bad enough we’ve now got philosopher Fod, using nature’s photo frame of course and the twinnies. Urgh he’s going to be embracing nothing new post Covid-19 unless it comes with #ad #gifted.
Oh I disagree his last post is actually quite nice...i really feel like we have a more thoughtful, existential FOD. You can tell he put so much authenticity and care into writing it. Like he really wants a more meaningful world for tomorrow. He even wrote it without making any grammatical mistakes. (Ok scrap that). But it really doesn't sound like he copied and pasted it from someone far more humble and intelligent than himself...
 
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Another post about a post-covid world where we should all look after the environment and travel less.... stop taking free flights to Abu Dhabi and ripping out perfectly good bathroom suites then, you grabby bleep!
 
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I'm late to the party but that ironing mumporn post with his voiceover made me cringe SO much. Clemmie must be dying inside!! I mean she must be so embarrassed. He has lost the plot. Also, I'm a mum and piles of laundry are really not going to get my knickers in a knot so to speak. Thank God we have such a champion of feminism to show us what should turn us on. Ffs. I hope his girls haven't seen it cos the cringe would be beyond measurable.
 
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I’ve never not been able to see Dean Gaffney, he’d probably just need cheek fillers and a stylist and he could make his second fortune?

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Oh dear god! Now I’ve seen it, I can’t unsee it! Just googled loads of David photos and yep was just like looking at (a more buffed) Robbie Fowler! Oh I’m so sorry David no I can’t marry you now, no, never!
 
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Another post about a post-covid world where we should all look after the environment and travel less.... stop taking free flights to Abu Dhabi and ripping out perfectly good bathroom suites then, you grabby bleep!
He couldn't be more authentic if he tried 🤣🤢 Does he think we all zip up at the back?
 
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