MOD & FOD #27 Roll out the bint in her leopard print, it’s the only way we’ll make a mint

[Bla bla bla yawn]

Just doing a catch up and have a couple of things:

1. re. FODs longest ever bike ride recorded on strava - is bleeping LOCKDOWN the time to be going out for your longest ever bike ride?!?!

2. if my husband wore any of my clothes I’d be bleeping mortified and I’d burn anything his sweaty bollocks had been prancing around in

3. the lack of likes and comments on his posts - to me this just proves how much he was buying likes and comments before? Didn’t we get a little analytical in here at one point and work out that his engagement rate was off the charts?! (Not anyone it isn’t!!)

4.Nobody tie dyed anything whilst he slept. Likely he was too busy bleeping about filming content and the bored older girls decided to have a go with a tie dye kit they got for Christmas. They made a mess because he wasn’t supervising. None of this happened overnight. If my kid so much as farts in the night I’m awake for two hours..

 

[Bizziebody]

Oh Fooders you are so dreamy in pink.


View attachment 106978

Must be a tight squeeze on her cause he's pretty slim and it looks.....uncomfortable.

 

[Rosieee]

I’ve been cheating on you all over there. Phew! Nice to get some pent up MN rage out.

I just joined but can’t find you all, which thread is it ?

 

[PoorPatrol]

I just joined but can’t find you all, which thread is it ?

There hasn’t been one so far (or as far as I can see), that’s just everyone from this thread gone over. I’ve responded on a few of the AIBU threads and Chat, plus I actually started a post about my wanky neighbours having a fire pit right under my window last night. Lucky it wasn’t on mumsnet, otherwise someone would have asked me if I’m on glue or made a snippy remark about my grammar

 

[Howdy]

Just doing a catch up and have a couple of things:

1. re. FODs longest ever bike ride recorded on strava - is bleeping LOCKDOWN the time to be going out for your longest ever bike ride?!?!

2. if my husband wore any of my clothes I’d be bleeping mortified and I’d burn anything his sweaty bollocks had been prancing around in

3. the lack of likes and comments on his posts - to me this just proves how much he was buying likes and comments before? Didn’t we get a little analytical in here at one point and work out that his engagement rate was off the charts?! (Not anyone it isn’t!!)

4.Nobody tie dyed anything whilst he slept. Likely he was too busy bleeping about filming content and the bored older girls decided to have a go with a tie dye kit they got for Christmas. They made a mess because he wasn’t supervising. None of this happened overnight. If my kid so much as farts in the night I’m awake for two hours..

Our local bike clubs (I'm a cyclist for my sins) have been very proactive about telling members to stay local on rides, respect the rules or risk having the privilege taken away. People who flout this are idiots. Fact. Now is not the time to go on a long ride. Do loops FOD and stop thinking it's one rule for you and one for everyone else.

 

[OhMyWord]

Our local bike clubs (I'm a cyclist for my sins) have been very proactive about telling members to stay local on rides, respect the rules or risk having the privilege taken away. People who flout this are idiots. Fact. Now is not the time to go on a long ride. Do loops FOD and stop thinking it's one rule for you and one for everyone else.

It’s the same in my husbands paddle boarding group (seriously guys, I’m married to a MAMIL who paddle boards - but I swear he isn’t a twit). The reason to stay close to home is because no one wants resources diverted to you in the event of an accident. Now my husband has never fallen off the damn board in the 5 years he’s been doing it but if other people see him and go ‘ohh that looks fun!’ then amateurs go out and maybe they do in trouble.

Kinda like amateur rider Sly being an idiot and not taking a repair kit and running into trouble miles from home. Yes, Sly, I’m aware you didn’t need the emergency services but your 1 long ride in ages just proves how easy it is to run into trouble when you’re a twit.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

There hasn’t been one so far (or as far as I can see), that’s just everyone from this thread gone over. I’ve responded on a few of the AIBU threads and Chat, plus I actually started a post about my wanky neighbours having a fire pit right under my window last night. Lucky it wasn’t on mumsnet, otherwise someone would have asked me if I’m on glue or made a snippy remark about my grammar

what utter cunts, not an advocate for grassing but you can call the police cos councils have issued very clear instructions to not do bonfires etc at this time as anyone with compromised lung function needs all the help they can get!

Last year pre covid obvs I got in touch with the council as we have this vile old neighbour (tbf I shouldn’t say this I think she has dementia and no one in her family cares for her but she’s a bully to my neighbours with kids) and her 60 something year old son comes round with his motorbike from the 1950s with fucked exhaust fumes (bikes don’t need the same tests cars do apparently) & leaves it running on the drive for 10/15 mins (for god knows what reason) filling all our houses with duck knows what. Their direct neighbours had a new born & a toddler, the other side has a woman undergoing radiotherapy for bowel cancer that she very likely will die from (we have ambulances out for her all the time), and I’d just come out of hospital for a tumour op so none of us need to be breathing in carcinogens recreationally. Was bleeping livid, did go round first and he tried to push me (!!!) until he realised he was being videoed, their whole family is clearly tapped, but anyway the point of this long story is I did write to environmental health at our local council with the video and they took it really seriously so it is worth pursuing. The family got written quite a serious warning letter about the whole thing and how they’ll enforce future breaches. He’s never come back in the tit heap when it used to be there every weekend (he lives in flats so can’t do work on it so brings it round to our street...), just some fucked corsa that’s older than I am. Solidarity anyway - some people are such vile selfish cretins x

 

[Howdy]

It’s the same in my husbands paddle boarding group (seriously guys, I’m married to a MAMIL who paddle boards - but I swear he isn’t a twit). The reason to stay close to home is because no one wants resources diverted to you in the event of an accident. Now my husband has never fallen off the damn board in the 5 years he’s been doing it but if other people see him and go ‘ohh that looks fun!’ then amateurs go out and maybe they do in trouble.

Kinda like amateur rider Sly being an idiot and not taking a repair kit and running into trouble miles from home. Yes, Sly, I’m aware you didn’t need the emergency services but your 1 long ride in ages just proves how easy it is to run into trouble when you’re a twit.

It’s the same in my husbands paddle boarding group (seriously guys, I’m married to a MAMIL who paddle boards - but I swear he isn’t a twit). The reason to stay close to home is because no one wants resources diverted to you in the event of an accident. Now my husband has never fallen off the damn board in the 5 years he’s been doing it but if other people see him and go ‘ohh that looks fun!’ then amateurs go out and maybe they do in trouble.

Kinda like amateur rider Sly being an idiot and not taking a repair kit and running into trouble miles from home. Yes, Sly, I’m aware you didn’t need the emergency services but your 1 long ride in ages just proves how easy it is to run into trouble when you’re a twit.

Haha me too (MAMIL husband who isn't a twit) Mind you he's married to a middle aged woman in lycra and I'm definitely the scarier looking one (he's slim as, I'm not...) As for FOD not taking a repair kit, even when I first started cycling I took one with me, very odd he didn't.

 

[PoorPatrol]

what utter cunts, not an advocate for grassing but you can call the police cos councils have issued very clear instructions to not do bonfires etc at this time as anyone with compromised lung function needs all the help they can get!

Last year pre covid obvs I got in touch with the council as we have this vile old neighbour (tbf I shouldn’t say this I think she has dementia and no one in her family cares for her but she’s a bully to my neighbours with kids) and her 60 something year old son comes round with his motorbike from the 1950s with fucked exhaust fumes (bikes don’t need the same tests cars do apparently) & leaves it running on the drive for 10/15 mins (for god knows what reason) filling all our houses with duck knows what. Their direct neighbours had a new born & a toddler, the other side has a woman undergoing radiotherapy for bowel cancer that she very likely will die from (we have ambulances out for her all the time), and I’d just come out of hospital for a tumour op so none of us need to be breathing in carcinogens recreationally. Was bleeping livid, did go round first and he tried to push me (!!!) until he realised he was being videoed, their whole family is clearly tapped, but anyway the point of this long story is I did write to environmental health at our local council with the video and they took it really seriously so it is worth pursuing. The family got written quite a serious warning letter about the whole thing and how they’ll enforce future breaches. He’s never come back in the tit heap when it used to be there every weekend (he lives in flats so can’t do work on it so brings it round to our street...), just some fucked corsa that’s older than I am. Solidarity anyway - some people are such vile selfish cretins x

Yep. Cretins. Along with the people who chuck their kids out with tablets and no earphones from dawn till dusk, people playing tit music on tit speakers, people talking on their phones on speaker for hours in the garden, and yes - the engine idlers!! We’re in central London and get a lot of uber drivers coming along and parking up in the night and leaving their engines idling while they snack and play on their phones. They’ve been told to duck off loads of times but there’s always another one that comes along a few nights later instead. Cunts

 

[Motherthreebeige]

New thread title

Why thank you

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Yep. Cretins. Along with the people who chuck their kids out with tablets and no earphones from dawn till dusk, people playing tit music on tit speakers, people talking on their phones on speaker for hours in the garden, and yes - the engine idlers!! We’re in central London and get a lot of uber drivers coming along and parking up in the night and leaving their engines idling while they snack and play on their phones. They’ve been told to duck off loads of times but there’s always another one that comes along a few nights later instead. Cunts

Omg engine idlers - don’t - this also fucks me off no end!! We’re not central thankfully But wtaf at NIGHT? I know this is bad but can you start chucking eggs at their cars so they just duck off? Then again eggs are hard to come by these days aren’t they. Again it’s tit and long but if it’s disrupting your sleep just email Uber their reg codes and they should be asked to turn their engines off if they’re somewhere more than a few minutes. I really hate being a grass but I also don’t think some people have any consideration for others?!

 

[Geezus]

MY EYES. MY bleeping EYES. All the wine at lunch isn’t enough to blur this unfortunate whatthefuckery...
ggggggggggeeeeeeeezzzzzzuuuuustakethefuckingwheel

 

[PoorPatrol]

MY EYES. MY bleeping EYES. All the wine at lunch isn’t enough to blur this unfortunate whatthefuckery...
ggggggggggeeeeeeeezzzzzzuuuuustakethefuckingwheel

‘Join me and my girls’ yep. Clammy did say you were nothing without them for content. I’ve literally just had that song from Oliver! pop into my head “Boy, boy for sale, going cheap”.... but, you know, girl version.

 

[AmberSpyglass]

He has no fuckin’ shame, those poor girls.

 

[Pocahontas]

When he lifts up one of the twins ... and the bumbag rides up like a sporran in the wind ... why, why, why
I’m going to have to stop looking at his stories because lately, it’s just too disturbing.

 

[Rosieee]

He has no fuckin’ shame, those poor girls.

Hiding their faces in his stories 2 days ago, now pimping them for an online quizz. He just can’t leave them alone, no matter how hard he tries. He’s nothing without them and he refuses to quit. So sad.

 

[Mustard]

They need to buy a dremel to use on poor Pablo’s nails. As FOD said - he’s not exactly a sledge dog but he’ll do.

 

[SaladDressing]

Still awake from my Nightshift which ended at 07:30
Read the mum's chat message - wossat then? I'm in such a blur I don't understand - is it safe? I daren't click!
Also just looked on Fodders' page - am I tripping or is he wearing shiny skin tight lycra on the pull for HuNz?! If this is the case then duck the sleep and I'll pour myself a massive drink and get pissed!!!

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

and the bumbag rides up like a sporran in the wind

Oh my God, I spat my lunchtime lockdown G&T out at this! Brava!

 

[EddieBeds]

Anyone see the twins accidental live insta? I thought it was the start of the quiz so went for a snoop but no they’d somehow grabbed his phone and started a live?