MOD & FOD #26 Fodcliffe, it’s mee, I’m Clammie, I’ve come home, so cold, let me in you drafty Victorian window!

[Pocahontas]

I promise if I have to work from home, I will bring my work computer with me, no more phone edits

Talking of work, today.... I spent a lot of time trying to explsin to some people that DO NOT ENTER and ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK may be detrimental to their businesses View attachment 96876

Oh my god. The tit List His smug little furrowed brow
I. Think. I. Love. You.

 

[Blondie123]

OMG Yes!!! He is soooo Thailand! I can imagine him on his gap year in Thailand in fisherman’s pants, vomiting at a full moon party with his hooray Henry friends with names like ‘johnno.’ Desperately trying time be cool by experimenting with magic mushroom pizzas. You can tell all this just by observing the fact he wears a beanie hat. I have an irrational hatred of men who wear beanie hats.

Can you imagine if someone appeared on here saying ‘I shagged fod in ko Samui in 2003. Ask me anything.’

Actually snorted with laughter.. husband is so curious what I'm reading!

 

[Slatternly]

Oh my god this is brilliant!! The fod dolls!! The fod photoshop!!! He has brought me joy today.

What id like to see is fod in a pop video wearing white linen trousers and tops like David Brent did. A soft focussed album cover shot like George micheal circa 1989.

He has so much untapped potential! Yet he chooses to live his life raving in Christmas lights and titting around in b and q.

 

[Heyjude]

Do you remember that time way back when fod posted a story about wanking in retaliation for someone calling him a wanker on Mumsnet. Those were gentler times weren’t they? They were really upset.

I totally remember this! He was properly affronted by it but did that stupid video where he was acting all blasé and nonchalant about it.... I think he’d been on a night out and was clearly a bit pissed... and he said something about a wanker being a type of fish and also someone who masterbates prolifically which he certainly did when he was a schoolboy. HE HONESTLY SAID THAT! I’m sure it was on his grid so it’ll be there for his girls to find in years to come. He is so utterly GRIM

 

[Slatternly]

I think there will come a point where fod reaches out to his huns and asks them what they want to see in terms of content now that the bottom of the barrel is now a hole. We should instruct him in the hunnest possible way to perform sketches to make us laugh. Massage his ego a bit and tell him he’s got brilliant comic timing and facial expressions. I reckon he’d be up for it.

I totally remember this! He was properly affronted by it but did that stupid video where he was acting all blasé and nonchalant about it.... I think he’d been on a night out and was clearly a bit pissed... and he said something about a wanker being a type of fish and also someone who masterbates prolifically which he certainly did when he was a schoolboy. HE HONESTLY SAID THAT! I’m sure it was on his grid so it’ll be there for his girls to find in years to come. He is so utterly GRIM

I remember that! Fondly harking back to the days of being a prolific wanker.

 

[SaladDressing]

I think there will come a point where fod reaches out to his huns and asks them what they want to see in terms of content now that the bottom of the barrel is now a hole. We should instruct him in the hunnest possible way to perform sketches to make us laugh. Massage his ego a bit and tell him he’s got brilliant comic timing and facial expressions. I reckon he’d be up for it.



I remember that! Fondly harking back to the days of being a prolific wanker.

Yesssss so much this! I'm prepared to create a full on Drooling Hun account. A FOD botherer of the highest order, Glory to Fod for he is my Saviour (ooh a hit on his Fodcliff Richard album, not Saviours Day but Savers Day - swipe up for 5% off with code FOD5.... soz got distracted there)
Yup I'm all about this for the mega LoLz

 

[Bizziebody]

I promise if I have to work from home, I will bring my work computer with me, no more phone edits

Talking of work, today.... I spent a lot of time trying to explsin to some people that DO NOT ENTER and ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK may be detrimental to their businesses View attachment 96876

foD, he looks like a poor mans version of Pierce Brosnan here.

 

[Heyjude]

God how I love placing god in imaginary posh twit situations. If it all goes tits up for the fod on the ad front, I think we should pool some money together and sponsor him to act out scenarios of our choice. Fod lolz fodder. A bit like what he does with the twins but for our benefit.

Possible scenarios:

1. Fod in primary school. Hand up all the time even though he has no clue what the answer is. Teacher can’t stand him.

2. Fod losing his virginity and spooning the girl afterwards and calling her ‘baby’ and asking her if she liked it.

3. Fod chatting girls up at freshers week.

4. Fod having an argument with mummy and flouncing off and slamming the door because she didn’t find his prank funny.

5. Fod goes to Thailand.

6. Fod accidentally on purpose takes 10 ecstasy tablets by mistake and looks like that bloke on a yacht that went viral a while back.

The possibilities are endless..

I’m bleeping DEAD. This is hilarious! Fantasy FOD is so much better than the real thing! FOD on ecstasy I would pay big bucks to see

7. FOD throws up in the back of Jonno’s mum’s (head of the local WI) car after drinking three cans of weak lager at his first house party and is made to apologise with a bunch of flowers the next day

8. FOD gets initiated into the sixth form rugby team by having a piece of flaming loo roll stuck up his bum and cries about it afterwards

9. FOD falls in love with a ladyboy in Thailand

 

[SaladDressing]

Fantasy FOD is the best
You guuuuyyyyys

 

[Slatternly]

Fantasy Fod really is better than the real thing. I think we set up a fake account. Sharon from Houston, loves god, loves her grand kiddies, baking, hates abortion. Lots of pics of flowers, cakes, puppies and god memes. Then we groom him. A ‘that is soooo true!’ here, a ‘your girls are so lucky to have you as a dad!’ there, and he’ll be so needy he’ll be eating out of our chubby little Texan hands. And then we mould him into whatever we want.....

I’m bleeping DEAD. This is hilarious! Fantasy FOD is so much better than the real thing! FOD on ecstasy I would pay big bucks to see

7. FOD throws up in the back of Jonno’s
mum’s (head of the local WI) car after drinking three cans of weak lager at his first house party and is made to apologise with a bunch of flowers the next day

8. FOD gets initiated into the sixth form rugby team by having a piece of flaming loo roll stuck up his bum and cries about it afterwards

9. FOD falls in love with a ladyboy in Thailand

I love the ladyboy scenario...so much.

 

[Pocahontas]

I’m bleeping DEAD. This is hilarious! Fantasy FOD is so much better than the real thing! FOD on ecstasy I would pay big bucks to see


7. FOD throws up in the back of Jonno’s mum’s (head of the local WI) car after drinking three cans of weak lager at his first house party and is made to apologise with a bunch of flowers the next day

8. FOD gets initiated into the sixth form rugby team by having a piece of flaming loo roll stuck up his bum and cries about it afterwards

9. FOD falls in love with a ladyboy in Thailand

10. FOD passive aggressively chases a working-class girl who lives in Halls because he wants to be ‘like common people’ - but ends up being beaten up by her brother when he loses at pool.

11. FOD loses his wallet in a Spearmint Rhino’s, goes back the next day to claim it but has to do an hour’s washing up duty before the bouncers let him leave.

12. FOD tries out being a DJ at a techno / house club night but gets his drink spiked and gets arrested for stripping off naked and running down the high street with his penis tucked between his legs.

13. FOD tries his hand at fruit picking whilst backpacking through France farm and gets stung by a swarm of wasps.

 

[Heyjude]

This is really what kills me whenever I see it, like it's so cringe, it's so bad, I can't actually look directly into it lest my corneas burn out of my eyeballs. He so obviously used to do this in the single sex dorm rooms of boarders at his little school. If you did that in public venue surely you'd be a danger to other people in the nearby vicinity?

Honestly what would you do if you walked in on your husband doing this???? And then saw he was recording it??

The dancing is the worst because you just know it’s not a piss take and that he actually thinks he looks cool or that through his dance he’s harking back to his younger, cooler days pulling all nighters at Turnmills or The Cross I can’t watch it either, especially when he sort of bites his lower lip and does those stupid ‘brrrraaaaaaaap’ hand movements Did you see the photos from when they did their ‘set’ at Bestival? You could see that FOD was definitely genuinely into it and not in an ironic way. If my husband started behaving like FOD... I just don’t know, I’d think he was having a midlife crisis and I’d be very worried.

 

[Slatternly]

10. FOD passive aggressively chases a working-class girl who lives in Halls because he wants to be ‘like common people’ - but ends up being beaten up by her brother when he loses at p




11. FOD loses his wallet in a Spearmint Rhino’s, goes back the next day to claim it but has to do an hour’s washing up duty before the bouncers let him leave.

12. FOD tries out being a DJ at a techno / house club night but gets his drink spiked and gets arrested for stripping off naked and running down the high street with his penis tucked between his legs.

13. FOD tries his hand at fruit picking whilst backpacking through France farm and gets stung by a swarm of wasps.

This is utterly brilliant. He doesn’t even need to post anymore. duck you fod and the horse you rode in on.

 

[SaladDressing]

Ohhhh I want to stay and play but work tomorrow and I've been informed we are two MDT members down and numerous other colleagues are in 14 day isolation so it's gonna be a tough on the ward for those of us who are symptom free - keep up the FODness. Fantasy FOD is getting better by the minute I bet real fod doesn't have as many stories!!!!! LaterZ HuNz *mwah* stay safe and send for us in the hospitals!

 

[Pocahontas]

Ohhhh I want to stay and play but work tomorrow and I've been informed we are two MDT members down and numerous other colleagues are in 14 day isolation so it's gonna be a tough on the ward for those of us who are symptom free - keep up the FODness. Fantasy FOD is getting better by the minute I bet real fod doesn't have as many stories!!!!! LaterZ HuNz *mwah* stay safe and send for us in the hospitals!

Hats off to you my darling. You stay safe and keep well and thank you for all that you do

 

[Heyjude]

10. FOD passive aggressively chases a working-class girl who lives in Halls because he wants to be ‘like common people’ - but ends up being beaten up by her brother when he loses at pool.

11. FOD loses his wallet in a Spearmint Rhino’s, goes back the next day to claim it but has to do an hour’s washing up duty before the bouncers let him leave.

12. FOD tries out being a DJ at a techno / house club night but gets his drink spiked and gets arrested for stripping off naked and running down the high street with his penis tucked between his legs.

13. FOD tries his hand at fruit picking whilst backpacking through France farm and gets stung by a swarm of wasps.

THESE ARE BRILLIANT! Had such a long day with a teething toddler thank you so much for the laughs And you just know that the tucked in penis is a tried and tested FOD party trick!

Ohhhh I want to stay and play but work tomorrow and I've been informed we are two MDT members down and numerous other colleagues are in 14 day isolation so it's gonna be a tough on the ward for those of us who are symptom free - keep up the FODness. Fantasy FOD is getting better by the minute I bet real fod doesn't have as many stories!!!!! LaterZ HuNz *mwah* stay safe and send for us in the hospitals!

Thinking of you X

 

[Mayday1984]

Just catching up on this. I.cannot.even. What was the post about?! What a tool.

 

[Slatternly]

Ohhhh I want to stay and play but work tomorrow and I've been informed we are two MDT members down and numerous other colleagues are in 14 day isolation so it's gonna be a tough on the ward for those of us who are symptom free - keep up the FODness. Fantasy FOD is getting better by the minute I bet real fod doesn't have as many stories!!!!! LaterZ HuNz *mwah* stay safe and send for us in the hospitals!

The dancing is the worst because you just know it’s not a piss take and that he actually thinks he looks cool or that through his dance he’s harking back to his younger, cooler days pulling all nighters at Turnmills or The Cross I can’t watch it either, especially when he sort of bites his lower lip and does those stupid ‘brrrraaaaaaaap’ hand movements Did you see the photos from when they did their ‘set’ at Bestival? You could see that FOD was definitely genuinely into it and not in an ironic way. If my husband started behaving like FOD... I just don’t know, I’d think he was having a midlife crisis and I’d be very worried.

Aaah bless you! Sending you loads of love and gratitude.

I have survivors guilt. I’m a teacher with a broken leg and should be working too....

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The dancing is the worst because you just know it’s not a piss take and that he actually thinks he looks cool or that through his dance he’s harking back to his younger, cooler days pulling all nighters at Turnmills or The Cross I can’t watch it either, especially when he sort of bites his lower lip and does those stupid ‘brrrraaaaaaaap’ hand movements Did you see the photos from when they did their ‘set’ at Bestival? You could see that FOD was definitely genuinely into it and not in an ironic way. If my husband started behaving like FOD... I just don’t know, I’d think he was having a midlife crisis and I’d be very worried.

Lmaooo DON’T I know exactly what you mean about the biting the lip, I actually just moved my dressing gown to cover my face I cannot deal with how cringe it is. The hand too sksjsysjjwiahahaha SO BAD.

I enjoyed the bestival pics, I felt like an archaeologist looking back at a world now lost. Bestival looks like the cringiest tit going cos you had those guys in gifted glittery spandex then it panned to the crowds and it was just normal middle aged women in jorts and patterned tank tops or other such mum garb, I wonder what those women (who paid for their tickets) made of the influencer fuss?

 

[Slatternly]

14. It’s 2007 and Fod goes speed dating in the city. Top class banter ensues ‘I never go north of the river me.’ (Not realising the city is north of the river. ) I just love the vibe in south London: Brixton I just love, so many cool bars.’ ‘I love France and used to go there every summer as a child’ ‘ I loved uuuuuuni’ ‘I love garage, jungle and hard house and have my own decks’ ‘I just love women. I get on really well with women’ and then he gets drunker and drunker....he wakes up naked on a traffic island and someone has stolen his phone and mini disc player containing all his home DJ sets.