This is bullshit - where is the aftercare? Have you spoke to someone now? XI had my dating scan yesterday. The sonographer got the baby on the screen and said aw there’s your little babe…and there’s its heartbeat” and myself and my partner both saw it flickering away for a good 10 seconds or so. She then took a quick measurement which showed 10+6 and said “how many weeks do you think you are?” I said “12+4 based on last period” and she said “ooh are you sure on your dates baby looks a little smaller than that”. She was then quiet for a minute or two and said she needed to do an internal scan, then started asking me about specific dates of last period and when I had my positive pregnancy test.
The internal scan happened and she just said I'm really sorry, I need to get another opinion to confirm, a second sonographer then came in, glanced at the screen and also said yeah I’m really sorry. That was it.
I don’t understand how there was a heartbeat and then suddenly none?? I just broke down and sat on the bed crying for what felt like forever until she came back in with a scrap bit of paper with a number on and said that the EPU will ring me later on to discuss what happens now.
I’m absolutely all over the place how do people go on doing normal life? I feel ridiculous for even asking but could she have been wrong? I cannot get the image of the moving heartbeat from my mind it’s all I can think of. I’ve had no typical loss symptoms, I still feel pregnant I look pregnant I don’t know how this can be
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This is bullshit - where is the aftercare? Have you spoke to someone now? X
Thank you everyone for your replies 
The EPU did call me yesterday and just kind of said I’m very sorry etc and explained what their service is. I was too distraught and could barely speak so she arranged to call me back in 2 days (tomorrow) to discuss ‘management of loss’.
Can anyone help in what should I say? Would they routinely offer another scan before anything was done?
Nothing feels real.
The EPU did call me yesterday and just kind of said I’m very sorry etc and explained what their service is. I was too distraught and could barely speak so she arranged to call me back in 2 days (tomorrow) to discuss ‘management of loss’.
Can anyone help in what should I say? Would they routinely offer another scan before anything was done?
Nothing feels real.
I don’t think they routinely offer another scan but I don’t think it would do any harm to askThank you everyone for your replies
The EPU did call me yesterday and just kind of said I’m very sorry etc and explained what their service is. I was too distraught and could barely speak so she arranged to call me back in 2 days (tomorrow) to discuss ‘management of loss’.
Can anyone help in what should I say? Would they routinely offer another scan before anything was done?
Nothing feels real.
they will have reviewed the scans you had done so you could ask what they saw if you think it would help you.Usually there are a few different ways to progress - taking medication or a small procedure - but they will talk you through this when you speak to them and you will have opportunity to ask questions then.
I’m so so sorry 🩷🩷🩷 please take time to come to terms with this don’t feel you have to be “normal” right away - you need to be kind to yourself and take care of yourself 🩷
Wishing you all the very best! Scanxiety and general anxiety in pregnancy after loss is so valid and so real xxxx
hi, sorry to read thisThank you everyone for your replies
The EPU did call me yesterday and just kind of said I’m very sorry etc and explained what their service is. I was too distraught and could barely speak so she arranged to call me back in 2 days (tomorrow) to discuss ‘management of loss’.
Can anyone help in what should I say? Would they routinely offer another scan before anything was done?
Nothing feels real.
my EPU had to do another scan to confirm but no idea if that is standard. I would however push for another if tbat is what you want xx@Mufasa I’m so sorry, what a crappy experience. Did they actually say anything other than they were sorry? When you feel able I’d be putting a complaint in as that is just not good enough. Compassionate and clear communication is so important in all of this.
I think you will be offered another scan when you go to the EPU. I had to have two scans via them with my MMC in July last year before they would finalise next steps.
I think you will be offered another scan when you go to the EPU. I had to have two scans via them with my MMC in July last year before they would finalise next steps.
Just wondering how you ladies deal with Mothers Day. This is the sixth one since I started TTC. Five miscarriages and failed IVF later, I still have no baby and Tommy’s “We see a mother” campaign leaves me a bit hollow because, well, I don’t feel remotely like a mother.
My husband is away on business this weekend and I genuinely want to just curl up and forget about it. I know the usual “do something nice” is posited, but self care feels as if it doesn’t even touch the sides when it comes to things like this.
Interested in other takes on the day and emotions it brings up. Love to you all x
My husband is away on business this weekend and I genuinely want to just curl up and forget about it. I know the usual “do something nice” is posited, but self care feels as if it doesn’t even touch the sides when it comes to things like this.
Interested in other takes on the day and emotions it brings up. Love to you all x
i have no advice but just wanted to say im thinking of you and that im dreading it too. I think im going to cull the online platforms I use even more (already deleted social media) but ive made sure ive unsubscribed from emails etc. im going to try and go out for the day also x
Sending love your way Elisha. Thinking of you too x
Hey @Greencatfysh how did your scan go xx
It went well thank you, thanks so much for asking and for the reassurance. Xx
I don’t know what to say.
I fell pregnant fairly quickly after my in December.
Today I had another miscarriage.
I fell pregnant fairly quickly after my in December.
Today I had another miscarriage.
So sorry my lovely. We are here for you, I know there’s not much we can say xxI don’t know what to say.
I fell pregnant fairly quickly after my in December.
Today I had another miscarriage.
I hope you all had a peaceful day and got through today in the easiest way, however it may have been spent.
Just as a follow up to my post earlier this week, I went to the EPU on Thursday where they did a further two scans and two separate sonographers confirmed our baby had passed. They were extremely compassionate and took as long as we needed. We are heartbroken of course but I feel strangely settled now we know for certain. I wanted to give myself a bit of time to process things yet had already decided to go for the surgical option when I felt ready.
Sadly I started bleeding this morning
Just as a follow up to my post earlier this week, I went to the EPU on Thursday where they did a further two scans and two separate sonographers confirmed our baby had passed. They were extremely compassionate and took as long as we needed. We are heartbroken of course but I feel strangely settled now we know for certain. I wanted to give myself a bit of time to process things yet had already decided to go for the surgical option when I felt ready.
Sadly I started bleeding this morning
Hi everyone, just looking for some real life experiences please.
I’m wondering how things went for those of you who naturally (hate this phrase by the way) passed the baby after a miscarriage?
I’ve been bleeding since Sunday and having basically regular contractions for the last 3 days but I don’t actually believe that anything significant has happened? It just seems to be blood. The pain is unbearable at times but the blood loss itself has been quite tame? I was expecting it to be really heavy as the hospital have told me that’s what it’ll be like.
I don’t know how many more days I can actually cope with this pain and it seeming like not much has happened.
I’m wondering how things went for those of you who naturally (hate this phrase by the way) passed the baby after a miscarriage?
I’ve been bleeding since Sunday and having basically regular contractions for the last 3 days but I don’t actually believe that anything significant has happened? It just seems to be blood. The pain is unbearable at times but the blood loss itself has been quite tame? I was expecting it to be really heavy as the hospital have told me that’s what it’ll be like.
I don’t know how many more days I can actually cope with this pain and it seeming like not much has happened.
Firstly, I’m really sorry this is happening to you.
To share my experience of a ‘natural loss’ at around 9 weeks (second miscarriage)…started bleeding on a Tuesday, really light at first and then continued like a period until Sunday morning when over the course of 2-3 hours I miscarried most of the pregnancy. During that time I was mainly in the bathroom, on the loo and passed quite a few large clots and blood. After that it went back to just light bleeding for a couple more days. I had a scan after a week or so to confirm the loss was complete, which it was.
Like you I kind of expected it to start and then be heavy straight away and be done with but it did take time.
I also had surgical management last year with my first miscarriage and found similar, not a lot of bleeding at first and then 3-4 days later it started.
I don’t think the hospitals necessarily prepare you enough for what to expect.
Firstly, so sorry you’re going through this
Mine have all been quite different but the one commonality is that there’s been bleeding for a few days followed by an hour or two of excruciating pain and heavy bleeding, which then passes and the bleeding subsides which has always signalled that my body has passed the pregnancy. Could it be worth following up with the hospital to make sure that you’ve not retained any tissue? Other ladies may be able to help more. I hope you’re as okay as you can be x
I attempted it naturally (also hate that word!) and had quite light bleeding, minimal pain and it basically didn’t work. All I was told was to take a test in 3 weeks which was still positive so went back in, scanned again, confirmed everything was still in there
and only at that point did I get a better explanation of the options I then did the tablets which again weren’t as bad as I expected (but i think that’s because I’d been bleeding for a few weeks) - they didn’t fully work either but by that point the hospital said there was mainly just tissue left inside which should come out with my next period.If you can get some strong pain like cocodamol that should help, or you can take paracetamol and ibuprofen at the same time but I would be tempted to ring the hospital again for advice.
It really is so hard when you are surrounded by pregnancy and babies. Some days I can’t even look at someone walking with a pram or pushchair. Sending so much love to you.Knew you’d all probably relate - I went back to work and I’m already sick of it. I keep having to deal with pregnant women, but there are loads with the same due date/ month as me. Each month that passes I feel like I hurt even more rather than get better