SwanParkingDebacle2020
New member
Found an old friend at local Bass Pro this weekend.
- Notice
TikiMeerkat
Well-known member
Here’s the recap of Dave’s Cádiz video:
He begins by attempting to speak Spanish, but only succeeds in sounding like a moron. I do have to admit his foreign language skills might be marginally better than his accents, but then again the bar is on the floor.
He tells us he’s in Cádiz but can’t be bothered to learn how to pronounce it, so he splits the difference by saying “Cá-DIZZ/Cá-DEEZ” almost every time. Tomato, tomahto. Deez what, I shudder to think.
Geography expert Dave describes his location as “the southern, not southern, it’s the southern peninsula in Spain, southern little tip area, I think it’s a peninsula, we’ll find out.” He steps off the ship and says he’s “back on the real big lands here in Europe” before jumping on a bus tour for a poorly edited musical montage of some of the saddest shots ever taken of what I’m sure is a beautiful place. He then goes back to his cabin to eat leftovers before venturing back out for a walking tour. Yes, this Grade A Certified Angus Doofus not only saved leftovers on a luxury cruise ship where food is plentifully available 24/7 at no extra cost, he also chose to eat them alone in his room (presumably off a towel) instead of trying local Spanish cuisine. “Food dude” my ass.
“I am now walking… on the ground, of course,” Dave says as he gets back off the ship and heads to the walking tour. More musical montage before he points out a “telephone tower, one of the icons of modern Cádeej” (yes, that’s a third pronunciation if you’re keeping track).
Dave wanders around, narrating his surroundings which he knows nothing about. “Very very cool to see this indeed,” he enthuses as he leans in close over a small replica of the building he’s currently standing in.
We are treated to the sound of rushing wind and “beautiful views” of parked cars and the backs of people’s heads as Dave goes back to the ship. “Good news,” he says when he’s back on board, “the lemon ginger tea returned!” This man just had hours to explore a beautiful Spanish city and the thing he’s been most enthusiastic about all day is the change in tea options at the cruise ship buffet. He offers a fourth pronunciation as he waves goodbye to “Cadeeth.” “You can hardly even tell that there’s glass between me and outside,” he marvels, breathless with wonder as he encounters a window for what I can only assume is the first time. He continues: “We’ll see ya real soon, or maybe we won’t. Yes, no. We certainly will.”
There’s a jump scare when Dave appears onscreen in a bathrobe. His hair has taken on yet more volume and now brings to mind the many wriggling tendrils atop a sea anemone.
He heads to dinner and once again proves himself unable to cope with the simplest of tasks, such as figuring out a restaurant’s opening hours, sitting down to eat in a sit down restaurant, and committing to spending €4 on a beverage.
You thought he was done, but no! There’s a final sea day in store! “Dave Kay here today,” he says at over 12 minutes into the 16 minute video. With that, we’re dragged right back into the swirling, senseless void of Dave Kay’s Sea Day Experience. He once again tells us he’s been watching “footie,” pronouncing the word with what can only be described as an obscene emphasis on the T that would make my skin crawl even if I was in a coma. He says he might get afternoon tea even though he’s not hungry. Then his toilet overflows and I don’t even have to make a joke about that, the material just writes itself. This has clearly distressed him, because his sea anemone hair has leveled up again and now resembles one of those joke soda cans full of snakes that pop out at unsuspecting people.
After some chewy duck and an okay burger, his stomach isn’t feeling so great, so he retires to his cabin and teases us that we “don’t even know all the amazing places in Europe” that he’s going. Dear readers, we have been warned.
He begins by attempting to speak Spanish, but only succeeds in sounding like a moron. I do have to admit his foreign language skills might be marginally better than his accents, but then again the bar is on the floor.
He tells us he’s in Cádiz but can’t be bothered to learn how to pronounce it, so he splits the difference by saying “Cá-DIZZ/Cá-DEEZ” almost every time. Tomato, tomahto. Deez what, I shudder to think.
Geography expert Dave describes his location as “the southern, not southern, it’s the southern peninsula in Spain, southern little tip area, I think it’s a peninsula, we’ll find out.” He steps off the ship and says he’s “back on the real big lands here in Europe” before jumping on a bus tour for a poorly edited musical montage of some of the saddest shots ever taken of what I’m sure is a beautiful place. He then goes back to his cabin to eat leftovers before venturing back out for a walking tour. Yes, this Grade A Certified Angus Doofus not only saved leftovers on a luxury cruise ship where food is plentifully available 24/7 at no extra cost, he also chose to eat them alone in his room (presumably off a towel) instead of trying local Spanish cuisine. “Food dude” my ass.
“I am now walking… on the ground, of course,” Dave says as he gets back off the ship and heads to the walking tour. More musical montage before he points out a “telephone tower, one of the icons of modern Cádeej” (yes, that’s a third pronunciation if you’re keeping track).
Dave wanders around, narrating his surroundings which he knows nothing about. “Very very cool to see this indeed,” he enthuses as he leans in close over a small replica of the building he’s currently standing in.
We are treated to the sound of rushing wind and “beautiful views” of parked cars and the backs of people’s heads as Dave goes back to the ship. “Good news,” he says when he’s back on board, “the lemon ginger tea returned!” This man just had hours to explore a beautiful Spanish city and the thing he’s been most enthusiastic about all day is the change in tea options at the cruise ship buffet. He offers a fourth pronunciation as he waves goodbye to “Cadeeth.” “You can hardly even tell that there’s glass between me and outside,” he marvels, breathless with wonder as he encounters a window for what I can only assume is the first time. He continues: “We’ll see ya real soon, or maybe we won’t. Yes, no. We certainly will.”
There’s a jump scare when Dave appears onscreen in a bathrobe. His hair has taken on yet more volume and now brings to mind the many wriggling tendrils atop a sea anemone.
He heads to dinner and once again proves himself unable to cope with the simplest of tasks, such as figuring out a restaurant’s opening hours, sitting down to eat in a sit down restaurant, and committing to spending €4 on a beverage.
You thought he was done, but no! There’s a final sea day in store! “Dave Kay here today,” he says at over 12 minutes into the 16 minute video. With that, we’re dragged right back into the swirling, senseless void of Dave Kay’s Sea Day Experience. He once again tells us he’s been watching “footie,” pronouncing the word with what can only be described as an obscene emphasis on the T that would make my skin crawl even if I was in a coma. He says he might get afternoon tea even though he’s not hungry. Then his toilet overflows and I don’t even have to make a joke about that, the material just writes itself. This has clearly distressed him, because his sea anemone hair has leveled up again and now resembles one of those joke soda cans full of snakes that pop out at unsuspecting people.
After some chewy duck and an okay burger, his stomach isn’t feeling so great, so he retires to his cabin and teases us that we “don’t even know all the amazing places in Europe” that he’s going. Dear readers, we have been warned.
Havok Karlsberg
Active member
Imagine having to explain to friends and family that the wedding has to be kept secret because your loser son in law is a failed YouTube.
PeanutButterCup28
Chatty Member
How fun to go on vacation with your fiancé & have to always walk behind him & keep quiet.
TikiMeerkat
Well-known member
I didn’t know if I’d be able to bring myself to watch this one, guys. Edinburgh is so beautiful and charming and complex and full of history, and Dave is a natural repellent for all of the above. His very being has a neutralizing effect on anything interesting that strays into the gravitational pull of the tumbleweed he calls hair. But I thought of you all, and I plucked up my courage, and here we go.
It’s a strong opening with Dave panning the airport and making unspeakable mouth noises. “Hola, mis amigos,” he greets those of us who have been masochistic enough to press play. “Dave Kay here today, making our way out of Spain to our next destination.” The pluralization when he refers to himself implies the existence of more than one personality inside that bramble-enshrouded head, which is troubling because it’s difficult to discern one personality as it is.
“Had some changes at the last minute, so I had to change some flights around,” says our chaotic king. It simply wouldn’t be a Dave Kay (here today) travel day without him making bad choices in an airport. He shows us his breakfast: orange juice and some sort of bread that’s as flat and colorless as his persona.
We get a brief tour of a duty free shop, followed by some unsettling shots of empty waiting areas with heavy post-apocalyptic vibes. “I’m flying Ryan…air,” Dave says, awkwardly separating the two syllables and surprising exactly no one with his intention to take the cheapest possible airline.
“I like a nice space bubble, you know, so there’s certainly less of that here, which is not my favorite,” Dave muses as he strolls through the almost completely empty airport. He turns the camera back on himself and all I can think is that if I was in a theater and he sat in front of me, I would be demanding a refund for an obstructed view.
He talks us through his intention to find a restroom before boarding the plane, and then reflects on his time in Spain. Like his brother, he is perplexed and off-put by the prevalence of graffiti, seemingly oblivious to the fact that graffiti exists in the U.S. too. “It’s almost like art and culture here,” he says with a nervous laugh.
We transition from Dave’s horrific pronunciation of Spanish words to Dave’s horrific pronunciation of Scottish words as he tells us he’s headed to Edinburgh, and I suppose we should just be grateful that he didn’t call it “Eeden-berg,” although there’s still time. He’s quick to reveal that he knows nothing about Scottish geography as he smirks into the camera, teasing the “adventures” to come.
“Welcome back to the United Kingdom,” Dave says with the cheery ignorance of someone who has done zero research about how controversial of a statement that is. “It’s almost like Hawaii, but it’s certainly not that warm,” he laughs.
It’s not long after exiting the airport that he makes his first attempt at a Scottish accent, and even just hearing that makes me feel like I need to apologize to the people of Scotland. He takes the bus and then sets out on foot. “Nice buildings. New, maintained… certainly like the feel here a bit more,” he says darkly, his fragile psyche still not recovered from all that graffiti in Spain. He chooses a lunch spot that he says is an “authentic option,” then proceeds to order beef brisket eggs Benedict and a black pepper smoothie. “This drink slaps ya, I guess it’s not a Scottish thing, just a healthy thing,” he sputters.
He cackles with maniacal glee at the fact that the city center is walkable, but is soon disappointed to see — you guessed it — graffiti.
He gets to his hotel and I fast-forwarded through the room tour because I don’t hate myself. And it’s a good thing too, because he switches rooms anyway. “It’s so funny how the difference in weather is,” he says, utterly flabbergasted by the fact that different latitudes experience different temperatures.
This buffoon cannot go one fucking minute without commenting on graffiti. “Newer, some of these buildings, for sure,” he says, blissfully unaware that he’s in a city several times older than his own country.
Hold on to your hats, people, because of all the amazing sights in Edinburgh, Dave chooses to show us a discount shop. He has trouble finding a barber shop that will accept a credit card, but I suspect these barbers are taking one look at his wild mop and declining his card out of fear. He finally finds someone to cut his hair, but spares us the gory details of what was uncovered when that foul thicket was shorn away. Anyway, his hair still looks terrible.
He wanders around doing what he does best: complaining that things are closed and repeating “we’ll see.”
“It’s gettin’ dusky,” he says, reminding us that he must keep to his custom and retreat to his room before the sun sets, lest his body be turned to gray, featureless stone to match his personality.
It’s a strong opening with Dave panning the airport and making unspeakable mouth noises. “Hola, mis amigos,” he greets those of us who have been masochistic enough to press play. “Dave Kay here today, making our way out of Spain to our next destination.” The pluralization when he refers to himself implies the existence of more than one personality inside that bramble-enshrouded head, which is troubling because it’s difficult to discern one personality as it is.
“Had some changes at the last minute, so I had to change some flights around,” says our chaotic king. It simply wouldn’t be a Dave Kay (here today) travel day without him making bad choices in an airport. He shows us his breakfast: orange juice and some sort of bread that’s as flat and colorless as his persona.
We get a brief tour of a duty free shop, followed by some unsettling shots of empty waiting areas with heavy post-apocalyptic vibes. “I’m flying Ryan…air,” Dave says, awkwardly separating the two syllables and surprising exactly no one with his intention to take the cheapest possible airline.
“I like a nice space bubble, you know, so there’s certainly less of that here, which is not my favorite,” Dave muses as he strolls through the almost completely empty airport. He turns the camera back on himself and all I can think is that if I was in a theater and he sat in front of me, I would be demanding a refund for an obstructed view.
He talks us through his intention to find a restroom before boarding the plane, and then reflects on his time in Spain. Like his brother, he is perplexed and off-put by the prevalence of graffiti, seemingly oblivious to the fact that graffiti exists in the U.S. too. “It’s almost like art and culture here,” he says with a nervous laugh.
We transition from Dave’s horrific pronunciation of Spanish words to Dave’s horrific pronunciation of Scottish words as he tells us he’s headed to Edinburgh, and I suppose we should just be grateful that he didn’t call it “Eeden-berg,” although there’s still time. He’s quick to reveal that he knows nothing about Scottish geography as he smirks into the camera, teasing the “adventures” to come.
“Welcome back to the United Kingdom,” Dave says with the cheery ignorance of someone who has done zero research about how controversial of a statement that is. “It’s almost like Hawaii, but it’s certainly not that warm,” he laughs.
It’s not long after exiting the airport that he makes his first attempt at a Scottish accent, and even just hearing that makes me feel like I need to apologize to the people of Scotland. He takes the bus and then sets out on foot. “Nice buildings. New, maintained… certainly like the feel here a bit more,” he says darkly, his fragile psyche still not recovered from all that graffiti in Spain. He chooses a lunch spot that he says is an “authentic option,” then proceeds to order beef brisket eggs Benedict and a black pepper smoothie. “This drink slaps ya, I guess it’s not a Scottish thing, just a healthy thing,” he sputters.
He cackles with maniacal glee at the fact that the city center is walkable, but is soon disappointed to see — you guessed it — graffiti.
He gets to his hotel and I fast-forwarded through the room tour because I don’t hate myself. And it’s a good thing too, because he switches rooms anyway. “It’s so funny how the difference in weather is,” he says, utterly flabbergasted by the fact that different latitudes experience different temperatures.
This buffoon cannot go one fucking minute without commenting on graffiti. “Newer, some of these buildings, for sure,” he says, blissfully unaware that he’s in a city several times older than his own country.
Hold on to your hats, people, because of all the amazing sights in Edinburgh, Dave chooses to show us a discount shop. He has trouble finding a barber shop that will accept a credit card, but I suspect these barbers are taking one look at his wild mop and declining his card out of fear. He finally finds someone to cut his hair, but spares us the gory details of what was uncovered when that foul thicket was shorn away. Anyway, his hair still looks terrible.
He wanders around doing what he does best: complaining that things are closed and repeating “we’ll see.”
“It’s gettin’ dusky,” he says, reminding us that he must keep to his custom and retreat to his room before the sun sets, lest his body be turned to gray, featureless stone to match his personality.
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TikiMeerkat
Well-known member
I’ve been posting here for years and I’ve seen everything. From the Swan parking meltdown, to the disappearance of Papa Kay, to the birth of Havok, to the Covid lies, to Michael’s laws-of-the-universe-defying engagement. I have truly seen and snarked on it all. But today I have to write a sentence that might just take the cake for bizarre Kay behavior, and here it is:
Dave is in Edinburgh and eats at the Costco food court.
Dave is in Edinburgh and eats at the Costco food court.
ALERT, ALERT
Leave it to me for the clandestine ops. I spotted Michael AND his fiancé at EPCOT about a week or so before Christmas. He was NOT in a scooter and was walking quite fine. Spotted them in the new - disappointing, cheap & underwhelming - park hub area that opened up in early December. Of course Mom was with them, and at first I thought the young female with him was Michelle, but turns out it was the future Mrs. (they were holding hands). It was quite comical how Mom was basically trailing behind them like a chaperone, not walking next to them.
I heard them making small talk/something he said, but it was irrelevant and not important to share here. They were just strolling & taking in the new area.
Overall I'd say Michael and fiancé looked quite happy and looked like any normal group walking through the park. No camera, no phone, no Disney clothing whatsoever. Honestly, this life looks better for Michael and I hope he's learned his lesson with grifting and being selfish. Of course I really miss the old Maryland Michael with all the excitement and tight Mr. Incredible costumes, but anything is better than his wannabe, pompous cruise expert vlogs so hopefully he just quits soon.
---
Another shot.
Leave it to me for the clandestine ops. I spotted Michael AND his fiancé at EPCOT about a week or so before Christmas. He was NOT in a scooter and was walking quite fine. Spotted them in the new - disappointing, cheap & underwhelming - park hub area that opened up in early December. Of course Mom was with them, and at first I thought the young female with him was Michelle, but turns out it was the future Mrs. (they were holding hands). It was quite comical how Mom was basically trailing behind them like a chaperone, not walking next to them.
I heard them making small talk/something he said, but it was irrelevant and not important to share here. They were just strolling & taking in the new area.
Overall I'd say Michael and fiancé looked quite happy and looked like any normal group walking through the park. No camera, no phone, no Disney clothing whatsoever. Honestly, this life looks better for Michael and I hope he's learned his lesson with grifting and being selfish. Of course I really miss the old Maryland Michael with all the excitement and tight Mr. Incredible costumes, but anything is better than his wannabe, pompous cruise expert vlogs so hopefully he just quits soon.
---
Another shot.
Claude4
VIP Member
Our boy Dave put one out today. I couldn’t stomach the 35 min train video he did 4 days ago. This one was 11 minutes so I said why not. Here we go:
he starts going to get breakfast from a convenience store, he mentions “soft Mountain View’s” what ever the fuck that is, shows the food he got back in his room, next we see more convenience store food from a different day, now we go 3 days in the future and he reviews the first food he showed, now he starts the video with Dave Kay here today…, he’s going to get breakfast again, says Geneva is not clean, food is expensive, 3 “not bad” food reviews, goes to cathedral, says “nice to see”, goes to museum and they want 13 francs he says nope, rides a bus, doesn’t like Geneva, goes back to room, shows more convenience store food, ends with “make it a positive day”. His hair is getting long again. That is all.
Because I had to.
he starts going to get breakfast from a convenience store, he mentions “soft Mountain View’s” what ever the fuck that is, shows the food he got back in his room, next we see more convenience store food from a different day, now we go 3 days in the future and he reviews the first food he showed, now he starts the video with Dave Kay here today…, he’s going to get breakfast again, says Geneva is not clean, food is expensive, 3 “not bad” food reviews, goes to cathedral, says “nice to see”, goes to museum and they want 13 francs he says nope, rides a bus, doesn’t like Geneva, goes back to room, shows more convenience store food, ends with “make it a positive day”. His hair is getting long again. That is all.
Because I had to.
White Melk
Member
According to a friend of mine, Michael has shut down his Patreon as of today.
Well, we had a good run.
Well, we had a good run.
Claude4
VIP Member
HeyLetsGoState
Chatty Member
When he walked in on his sister with just a towel
TheNextStacey
Chatty Member
I posted my kids 25 yard freestyle relay from their summer league swim team and got more views than Dave. And they didn't even win.
But they beat Dave!!! #winning
Karl Berg
Well-known member
My wife and I were in Rome last year for our anniversary. We found this restaurant from a recommendation from one of my friends who visits a couple times a year. My wife and I ordered appetizers, pasta, dessert and a bottle of wine and it was about $120. I still think about this meal a year later. The best dessert I have ever had in my life. The cannolis here were supposed to be the best but unfortunately they were out the day we visited. The owner came out and said to wait and he will see what he can do. He went to the back gathered some shells that broke and made a trifle using those broken shells and cannoli cream. I wanted to lick the bowl it came in.
La Pace del Palato - Roberto is the owner. No restaurant signs. Show up and knock on the door. Very popular with Italian Politicians, and local's. Roberto is like a grandpa. Great host, awesome food. It is a bit more expensive. It is near Piazza Navona. Heart of the city of Rome.
Rome also isn't dirty. It is old but Mikey relates that to being dirty. He is a dumbass.
Attachments
Grifters of the Caribbean
VIP Member
starri
VIP Member
Put this in the wrong thread. Let's make it right:
Doximity is a social networking platform for doctors. Much liked LinkedIn, every doctor seems to be on it although no one seems to actually sign up for it.
I was updating my profile today, and I noticed that amongst the "People You May Know," which is primarily either people I've worked with or people I went to medical school with.
However, when I looked, there was one in particular that jumped out at me....
Doximity is a social networking platform for doctors. Much liked LinkedIn, every doctor seems to be on it although no one seems to actually sign up for it.
I was updating my profile today, and I noticed that amongst the "People You May Know," which is primarily either people I've worked with or people I went to medical school with.
However, when I looked, there was one in particular that jumped out at me....