Met at work over zoom

[Definitelyme]

OT but pls report back with what he says

Honestly though, I’d just sent him a friend request or a wee message and take it from there. I mean if he’s leaving anyway it’s almost the best possible scenario as it means if it doesn’t work out there won’t be as much/if any awkwardness.

I honestly just say shoot your shot and see where it lands. Good luck

He did this face and said “they sound like my kinda person”

 

[TheGlossy]

It depends on what they've spoken about. I hope you "gel" well with colleagues, otherwise there is a culture problem. It's easy to get well with people in a professional setting because you are a bit forced to. I'm not saying he is being forced, but let's not mix up professionalism with chemistry.

 

[TheGlossy]

Going by that standard then, you should never add anyone you meet off Tinder on social media because it makes you a stalker and a weirdo!!! I forgot people are only allowed to be interested in people they know in the flesh...

Tinder & a work Zoom call are on two completely different sides of the spectrum. Not comparable.

Poor OP must feel utterly confused with all these contradictory opinions.

 

[nbt]

“She thinks” being the important 2 words here.....,! How can they have “chemistry” when THEY HAVE NEVER MET IN PERSON AND HAVE NEVER HAD ANY THING OTHER THAN PROFESSIONAL WORK RELATED CONVERSATIONS?!!!!


Jeeeeeesus. Think some peoples ideas of chemistry and mutual attraction are wayyyyy off....!!!

I think you’ve misread what the OP posted and have created a brand new scenario. How do you know they’ve only had professional work related conversations? She says she only knows him in a professional capacity… but that doesn’t mean they’ve only had work conversations.

 

[scottishsiren]

I’ve met this man through work but because of the panny d I’ve only ever met him over zoom and I am head over heels! He’s exactly the type of man id go for and I want to get to know him better BUT we don’t live anywhere near each other.

I only know him in a professional capacity but we gel so well and the attraction is so strong. My friends found out he’s single but I don’t know how to make the first move over zoom he’s actually superior to me too so don’t want to be disciplined for Being inappropriate . I have a feeling he likes me too but it’s zoom so can’t assume.
Is there any way I can talk to him out of work?? I can’t find his insta but could add him on Facebook I guess. It’s also urgent because he’s getting reassigned soon. Or do I just forget?!

Ask him could he give you advice on how to get his job lol.
Ask him if he wants to zoom you one to one!

Zoom you make my heart go boom!

 

[Lulu Goss]

Add him on Facebook, the worst he can do is not accept the request!

If you’d just seen him around and never spoken to him, then added him on Facebook that might be a bit weird. But if you’ve spoken to him, you “know” him in a professional capacity, you’d be comfortable enough chatting to him in the office then why not.

The only thing I would say is that I’m a manager and I don’t accept anyone on social media who work in the teams ‘below’ me. I don’t mean that in the arsehole way it sounds (couldn’t think of a better way to put it!), just that I know it wouldn’t look good professionally if they had access to my social media and saw my stories of nights out or being drunk on holiday so that’s the only thing that might stop him but if he’s leaving soon he might not care so much!

 

[TheGlossy]

Bloody hell you'd think you'd all been party to the conversation to know they have no chemistry. The OP herself has said there seems to be a connection. Maybe the conversation has been slightly flirty to give her this impression. I doubt him screen sharing a spreadsheet made her think there's chemisty

Calm down. I'm just stating a fact. If she feels a connection, good for her. I've been there, I know what it's like.

She didn't provide much context or any evidence of him liking her. She just said she thinks he likes her, but we don't have much background information. Ultimately, it's her call. We're nobodies giving biased advice on a random forum. OP has probably already made up her mind. For what we know, she probably already reached out to him on FB or whatever platform while we're here going round in circles.

 

[JodieB12]

If you don’t put yourself out there you won’t get what you want. What’s the worse that can happen? He doesn’t think of you that way? If so, least you know and can move on. If you don’t go for it you’ll always be wondering.
Life’s to short to not take chances

 

[Carrie2019]

Panny D
That’s amazing!

 

[Dak1988]

I don’t think adding colleagues who you gel with and get on well, but only know in a professional capacity (I.e via work) is wrong. I work in a professional corporate industry and have had some friend requests, some I accept, some I don’t. It isn’t deemed unprofessional or inappropriate IMO. I think it just depends on the level or friendship/relationship you have with the person

 

[watermelon sugar]

Yeah that’s kind of my point.

Take it out of context for a second.

You are working in a bar. A guy comes in and orders a drink with a group of his friends. They come in a few times and you serve him his drinks and have a few conversations about what drinks he wants etc - all professional and related to the job you are doing at the bar.

Then you random get a friend request from this man on your personal Facebook. He’s somehow found your profile, when you’ve never given him any encouragement to do so or bedn anything other than professional and you don’t actually know him nor really like him, he’s just a guy that comes into the bar.

you don’t think that’s weird?!

That's happened to me before and I just deleted it. Like this bloke could do if he doesn't wanna accept it

 

[TheGlossy]

I have to say I agree with the above post from Betty.

OP hasn't even met this individual in person. It's one thing to meet them at work in a normal environment and it's another to rely on a single meeting via Zoom. As much as I hope it works out for OP, I don't think it's reasonable to go and add him on Facebook simply on the basis of a single Zoom meeting, which I assume it was a group call, not a 1-1.

I suggest OP sends him a LinkedIn request and takes it from there (e.g: send him a message asking him for advice on career progression etc...). Facebook is not the right platform in my opinion.

I also believe it depends on the type of corporate environment OP works in. If it's a more "relaxed" environment such as a tech company or a start up where everybody seems pretty "chill", then maybe. If it's a straight up formal corporate environment, I suggest to be cautious especially as he's a superior.

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I don’t think that’s similar, they both work for the same company and I think OP said she thinks he may like her too/have chemistry or something like that

“She thinks” being the important 2 words here.....,! How can they have “chemistry” when THEY HAVE NEVER MET IN PERSON AND HAVE NEVER HAD ANY THING OTHER THAN PROFESSIONAL WORK RELATED CONVERSATIONS?!!!!


Jeeeeeesus. Think some peoples ideas of chemistry and mutual attraction are wayyyyy off....!!!

 

[Easilyannoyed]

I met my fiancé at work and I added him first on fb some men just don’t know when a signal is a signal or maybe he will feel as a superior he shouldn’t say anything at present? what’s the worst that can happen he’s not interested and then you move on life is short just add him on fb x

 

[Easilyannoyed]

Christ can you just add him on Facebook like the more we talk about it the more waiting to see if he is into it or not I am invested in this now

 

[BettyCrockerr]

I think you're overreacting. It's a pretty normal thing to have colleagues on Facebook, especially if you talk to them in a work capacity every day. I have colleagues from our regional offices who I've never met in person add me on Facebook because we speak all the time. The worst that can happen is that he either rejects or blocks her.
If she was talking about finding out where he lived and turning up there, I'd understand calling her a stalker/bunny boiler. But it's Facebook. It's not that deep.

I just think it’s really unprofessional to have work colleagues who you have no outside personal friendships or relationships with on your private social media. Why would you want random people from your workplace who you have never even met seeing your private life on Facebook?! It’s weird. The line between private and personal should still exist. Your work colleagues don’t need to see what you did on your holiday or where you went on your kids birthday or what you got up to on your mates hen weekend....

Work is work and it shouldn’t encroach into your private life unless you have a real genuine relationship outside of work. Which in this case this lady definitely does not!!!!! She fancies him based on the way he looks on zoom and has created everything else in her imagination, it’s not fair or appropriate to then trawl Facebook to find this guys private account and then start trying to add him as a friend or anything else - it’s the digital equivalent of showing up at his front door uninvited.....

 

[TheGlossy]

I think the jury is out and the OP should definitely add her colleague on FB

A bit rude to generalize your opinion and turn it into a unanimous piece of advice.

 

[nbt]

A bit rude to generalize your opinion and turn it into a unanimous piece of advice.

Here we go again…

 

[LittleMy]

A bit rude to generalize your opinion and turn it into a unanimous piece of advice.

Have a day off. She’s obviously joking.

 

[TheGlossy]

In every single place I've worked there has been some kind of workplace relationship. It's very common. It's not illegal to date or be interested in dating someone at your work place and as said previously, you've got to shoot your shot somehow! The worst that could happen if she does it this way is rejection. If she did it via email in the workplace that would be extremely unprofessional, far worse than adding someone on Facebook

I think you're misinterpreting what I'm saying.

I never said I was against workplace romance. I'm simply saying she should wait until she's properly interacted with him to make a move on social media through whatever platform. She hasn't even spoken to the guy and only saw him once on a Zoom call, it's a bit too early to be adding him on Facebook. Facebook is too much of a personal tool.

Most of my friends are former co-workers and I have them on social media as well, but I didn't go around adding them on FB right after a first meeting during which we didn't interact. I'm just saying it is too early in the process. There is a huge gap between adding someone you've had few interactions with and someone you've never spoken to and only seen once via videoconference. It's a bit extreme. For what we know, he's not even into women, but there's only one way to know I suppose. Then again, she can go ahead and add him, if they've never interacted or took part in a large conference call, he won't even know who she is.

There was a guy at my current job who picked up my number off of a team WhatsApp group and started texting me one weekend. I never responded as I wasn't interested in communicating outside of work. Besides, I'd never met the guy aside from a few calls. Needless to say, I found it highly inappropriate.