Met at work over zoom

[July9696]

I’ve met this man through work but because of the panny d I’ve only ever met him over zoom and I am head over heels! He’s exactly the type of man id go for and I want to get to know him better BUT we don’t live anywhere near each other.

I only know him in a professional capacity but we gel so well and the attraction is so strong. My friends found out he’s single but I don’t know how to make the first move over zoom he’s actually superior to me too so don’t want to be disciplined for Being inappropriate . I have a feeling he likes me too but it’s zoom so can’t assume.
Is there any way I can talk to him out of work?? I can’t find his insta but could add him on Facebook I guess. It’s also urgent because he’s getting reassigned soon. Or do I just forget?!

 

[slabber]

the panny d

The what?

 

[Scorpihoe]

Sorry but did you just call the pandemic the PANNY D

 

[potatowaffles]

Gal I can’t help with advice but I just have to say that I started calling it the panny d ironically during the first lockdown and now it’s stuck and I can’t stop saying it. Everyone looks at me like I’ve committed a murder or something when I say it So glad I’m not alone

 

[MaryX82]

Is there anyway you can get his email?Send him something a little bit flirty and add your mobile number and social media for him to get in contact.Go for it.Although that being said don’t tit where you eat.Is he higher up in the company so that if he pisses you off you won’t have to see him or deal with him at all.Anyway good luck

 

[Kim Mild]

Add him on Facebook if he's leaving, that's not an odd thing to do .

 

[July9696]

The what?

Sorry but did you just call the pandemic the PANNY D

Gal I can’t help with advice but I just have to say that I started calling it the panny d ironically during the first lockdown and now it’s stuck and I can’t stop saying it. Everyone looks at me like I’ve committed a murder or something when I say it So glad I’m not alone

Haha Yeh started saying it ironically and now here we are, I didn’t even notice when I typed it

 

[WilmaHun]

I love how everyone is focused on panny d instead of giving advice

 

[watermelon sugar]

The panny d this is what I'm gonna call it from now on

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I think if he was interested he would have made a move to talk to you elsewhere. Men don’t hang around imo.

 

[Definitelyme]

No advice but absolutely adore “the panny d”. That is absolutely the type of nonsense my husband and I would be spouting and I’m going to introduce it this evening He’s gonna love it too.

Sorry I can’t be of any actual help

 

[Millyve]

my advice is to stay clear of a work place romance as much as possible.

 

[Pambo]

I think if he was interested he would have made a move to talk to you elsewhere. Men don’t hang around imo.

Maybe he values his job and career. Could be he doesn't want to bet his ability to keep a roof over his head and keep paying his mortgage and other bills on a bit of office banter.

This was a convo I had with my brother who's been dating a woman he works with. They messaged and chatted and he enjoyed it and fancied her but never asked her out or got too flirty because, as he said, "I bet there isn't a guy alive who hasn't been burned by taking flirting at face value."

Finally the woman got exasperated and said she didn't understand him and accused him of leading her on. When he explained why he didn't ask her out, because if he got it wrong, he'd end up fired or having a chat with HR and blackmark against him if she complained, she admitted that had never even crossed her mind.

And why should it? Here's some female privilege to OP: ask the guy out. Absolutely feck all consequences await if he says no. Even if he does complain, do you think your (probably all female because diversity doesn't apply to this profession) HR dept will take him seriously? Have away.

If he asks OP out and the feelings aren't reciprocated, or if it's some other guy in the company springing romantic interest in her that she wasn't aware of, and how to handle it, she could always post here again for advice.

Some of which would be shop him - get on the phone to HR NOW - and have that guy burned at the stake! The audacity!!

So, yeah, the guy could be interested, but isn't sure OP isn't being anything more than friendly and isn't willing to risk becoming homeless over it if she isn't what with today's PC climate, or he isn't interested and if asked out will do one of two things:

1) Politely let her down and fob her off with some BS about being her superior and against company regulations.
2) As above and also pre-emptively report her to HR in case she goes bat tit and starts accusing him of all sorts out of spite. Not reporting her per se, doesn't want action against her, just covering his ass in case of future fall-out.

Welcome to 2021. We can't have it all the ways.

 

[Giggling Squid]

my advice is to stay clear of a work place romance as much as possible.

I’m 9 years into a workplace romance, it’s not necessarily bad....

Panny d is the highlight of this thread!!

In terms of the actual question - if he’s leaving, you’ve nothing to lose. I’d add him on Facebook perhaps after he’s actually gone so you no longer actually work together and go from there. Message him, see what happens

 

[potatowaffles]

No advice but absolutely adore “the panny d”. That is absolutely the type of nonsense my husband and I would be spouting and I’m going to introduce it this evening He’s gonna love it too.

Sorry I can’t be of any actual help

OT but pls report back with what he says

Honestly though, I’d just sent him a friend request or a wee message and take it from there. I mean if he’s leaving anyway it’s almost the best possible scenario as it means if it doesn’t work out there won’t be as much/if any awkwardness.

I honestly just say shoot your shot and see where it lands. Good luck

 

[Warpaint]

Add him on facebook

Make a joke (lie) about how he came up as one of your 'friends you may know'

Move in for the kill

 

[Definitelyme]

OT but pls report back with what he says

Honestly though, I’d just sent him a friend request or a wee message and take it from there. I mean if he’s leaving anyway it’s almost the best possible scenario as it means if it doesn’t work out there won’t be as much/if any awkwardness.

I honestly just say shoot your shot and see where it lands. Good luck

He did this face and said “they sound like my kinda person”

 

[Begborrowsteal]

do you think your (probably all female because diversity doesn't apply to this profession) HR dept will take him seriously?

our team has only had 3 men apply over the last 6 months of hiring

 

[Mrs Cucumber]

I’ve met this man through work but because of the panny d I’ve only ever met him over zoom and I am head over heels! He’s exactly the type of man id go for and I want to get to know him better BUT we don’t live anywhere near each other.

I only know him in a professional capacity but we gel so well and the attraction is so strong. My friends found out he’s single but I don’t know how to make the first move over zoom he’s actually superior to me too so don’t want to be disciplined for Being inappropriate . I have a feeling he likes me too but it’s zoom so can’t assume.
Is there any way I can talk to him out of work?? I can’t find his insta but could add him on Facebook I guess. It’s also urgent because he’s getting reassigned soon. Or do I just forget?!

If he's being reassigned maybe drop him a message saying thanks for making working via zoom bearable etc, see if he responds! Life's too short for maybes

 

[Bae56]

I love this!
I don't have much advice as I'm an old fashioned mit bag type of gal who would insist he does the approaching
Do not leave it. You'll never know. If he's being reassigned you may never get the chance. Facebook could be the opportunity. Please update and good luck