It’s incredibly scary, I couldnt even begin to fully describe everything I was feeling yesterday. I was able to talk with my CPN and I live with my husband and once I had calmed down I was able to talk with him. Something happened that caused me a lot of distress and we are working through it a bit at a time. I wasn’t able to talk to him initially because sometimes it’s just harder to tell those closer to you how you’re feeling. We have watched some tv this afternoon and I’ve slept a bit and then spent time on here, it’s probably a bad thing to spend so much time on a gossip site but I find it to be a really good distraction because there are so many things to read. I think I am through the worst of this particular thing now I’ve been able to talk about it but I’m sure there will still be moments. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me, it really means a lot and is really helpful when you are struggling xx
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Is anyone on meds and still feel beyond low?
I was up until 2am crying about anything and everything. My depression is always bad over Christmas and New Year but it’s particularly bad this year. It isn’t so much Covid related but I’m just really really low. I try and limit how much I’m on my phone but I enjoy this site in particular. I’m just in a bit of a slump & don’t see a way out of it 
I decided this year I’m finally going to address my mental health issues, looked at online counselling and it sounded ideal. Then looked at the price 
... yeah don’t think that’s going to happen! I just feel like there’s nowhere to turn for advice/support at the moment, unless you’ve got money or are basically suicidal.
... yeah don’t think that’s going to happen! I just feel like there’s nowhere to turn for advice/support at the moment, unless you’ve got money or are basically suicidal.Just want to send you a hug. I understand xI was up until 2am crying about anything and everything. My depression is always bad over Christmas and New Year but it’s particularly bad this year. It isn’t so much Covid related but I’m just really really low. I try and limit how much I’m on my phone but I enjoy this site in particular. I’m just in a bit of a slump & don’t see a way out of it
Yeah mental health help is pretty screwed unless you have money.
Warning: self pitying post!
does anyone else feel like everyone who is supposed to care about them just doesn’t give a tit? I’ve had the most awful few days MH wise and no one has even checked if I’m ok, my partner included. Nothing off friends/family. Not even a normal text to say hi. Nothing. I’ve emailed the Samaritans and even they haven’t bleeping replied. I honestly am at my wits end and nobody seems to care apart from random strangers on the internet.
does anyone else feel like everyone who is supposed to care about them just doesn’t give a tit? I’ve had the most awful few days MH wise and no one has even checked if I’m ok, my partner included. Nothing off friends/family. Not even a normal text to say hi. Nothing. I’ve emailed the Samaritans and even they haven’t bleeping replied. I honestly am at my wits end and nobody seems to care apart from random strangers on the internet.
I’m really sorry you’re feeling that way. Yes I feel like that a lot sometimes, in fact I knew my husband and brother had both lied to me a few days ago, neither of them know I know but I just felt so worthless. But it’s not about me, I’m just saying I know how you feel. I’m always here if you want to talk xx
Nothing self pitying about your post at all. It seems that the people who are supposed to care about us most don't. I've had countless rows in the last couple of weeks with my husband about the fact that his family (in particular his mother) CONSTANTLY come before me, and frankly I'm sick of it.
A lot of people are only bothered about themselves its sad to say. I think you can often only rely on yourself for help and support.I've come to that conclusion after a few bad times and with life experience really. Just do things for yourself, put yourself first and have a few treats lined up that might help. Have you got a pet? they can be great company.
I’m really sorry you feel this way. Unfortunately Samaritans are probably bombarded with emails and the best way to contact them would be to call them. SHOUT have a text service who are really quick at responding. Take care. Xx
The G.P can usually refer you for time limited CBT type counselling. Apart from that if there's a Women's Centre in your city you may qualify for reduced rate counselling. They charge on a sliding scale. Workplaces sometimes have employee support and drug/alcohol services sometimes have counselling as well.(Obviously if this is relevant to you). Mind if there's one near you, also charge on a sliding scale. Obviously these places tend to have waiting lists etc but its often better waiting than paying £50.00 plus per hour. Who can afford that in this day and age, nobody.I decided this year I’m finally going to address my mental health issues, looked at online counselling and it sounded ideal. Then looked at the price
You are so right about that!
.I have a cat called daisy that lucky for me i got just before lockdown and like other people on here i feel like i've been let down by everyone close to me.
I also put this down to myself as well though being a proud person and the strong stoic type and not wanting to admit that inside i was sometimes hugely struggling.
You know when you end up being the rock of the family and keeping it all together and sometimes you just secretly wish that someone would take care of you as well and be a shoulder to lean on?
Well i've felt like that a lot especially after prolonged self isolation and with 4 kids to look after!.
Things reached a head in the summer when i came very close to a breakdown and finally broke through to my family that i needed support and love as well.
This is gradually happening slowly but surely thank god but in the meantime and when i feel low and i'm alone my favourite thing to do has been to sleep on the sofa (its more comfortable than the bed ha ha) turn of the lights and have the cat curl up next to me.
Just the sound of her contented purring and i'm instantly less stressed.
She sleeps on the side of the sofa (its next to a bay window so she does not fall off) and if i wake up during the night i just look at her so peaceful and comfortable and my bad dreams and feelings just go away at once.
She's like a cat dreamcatcher!
honestly everyone who gets disturbed by bad or vivid dreams (like i do) should have one.I'd be a bit lost without her i love my family to death but animals are instinctive and read feelings better than humans in my opinion and if you treat them well the love they give back is unconditional.
Thats what we could all do with right now isn't it?
You’re not self pitying at all. I’ve not heard from anyone over Christmas / New Year apart from my close family. Not one Happy Christmas / HNY text. Thank god for Tattle really because I feel like I have company here! Not that I don’t love my family but I feel there’s only so much I can offload onto my Mum/Nana. It’s awful! Take care xx
Thanks for the tip with shout, I did try and use them - but I can’t get to the point of telling them what is wrong because I just feel like such a failure or a fraud.
Your not a failure or a fraud by being honest that takes courage including admitting when you don't feel strong.
They are your feelings and they are valid and they matter.
I know its a bit off the topic but a few years back i was assaulted by a member of my husbands family and you do you know the once thing that helped me deal with it and to get help was sitting on my bed and saying those words over and over to myself almost like a mantra untill i convinced myself.
Yes i matter and my feelings matter and i cried and i self soothed and then i told people.
Don't feel like its a secret you have to hide or feel ashamed you are human you have a right to be listened to and cared for and your feelings do matter because you matter we all do.
Your not a failure and your not a fraud for feeling pain or loneliness or feeling lost sometimes we all feel like that and sometimes we all need to talk to someone (or post on tattle life) whatever helps but don't keep it inside please let it out thats how you can start to feel better.
Do it for yourself and please don't beat yourself up about it you have not done anything wrong in asking for help in fact you would be doing the right thing for yourself.
Good luck you've got this far you can do it.
Out of curiosity I decided that I wasn't going to be first to send anyone a new years message. I was going to wait and see how many people sent me one first.
You know how many people did? One. My neighbour who I chat to if we bump into each other (obviously not literally!) outside.
Not one of my so called friends bothered. One of my friends had her birthday during Christmas week and I sent her a long message wishing her happy birthday, hoping all was well, just a little catch up etc. She read the message and didn't bother replying back.
I know it's been a horrible year for everyone and a lot of people have their own problems, but I'm tired of feeling as though nobody could care less about me. I've had a horrible year myself, for reasons other than Covid and my 'friends' know that I had a lot going on, but none of them give a tit. None of them bother messaging me asking how I am.
Apologies, I didn't mean to turn this into a pity post, but I completely empathise with everyone else posting here. I'm always the idiot who's there for everyone else whenever they need help or support, but when the shoe is on the other foot it appears it's a different story.
That’s exactly how I feel - I’m always the one texting & checking in, when I don’t get it reciprocated. Last year was awful for me & I’m determined this year to put myself first - even that means losing people along the way! My MH will thank me for it.
I’m not sending Christmas/Birthday cards to people anymore either - I used to (pre Covid) love looking round Paperchase etc and buying cards for people and posting them. But then it comes to my Birthday and nothing! Sorry not doing it anymore
Same here. I sent so many Christmas cards this year, especially to people that I hadn't been able to see during the year. but most people didn't even bother to send one back. I know you're not supposed to send a card just because you expect one in return, but it's good manners if nothing else.That’s exactly how I feel - I’m always the one texting & checking in, when I don’t get it reciprocated. Last year was awful for me & I’m determined this year to put myself first - even that means losing people along the way! My MH will thank me for it.
I’m not sending Christmas/Birthday cards to people anymore either - I used to (pre Covid) love looking round Paperchase etc and buying cards for people and posting them. But then it comes to my Birthday and nothing! Sorry not doing it anymore
A lot of therapists also offer lower fees if you ask them and they have space. I stopped therapy a month ago after nearly 4 years of going. I paid £40 per session which is still a lot, but his normal fee was £70 an hour for an evening session and £60 daytime. He did also lower his fee for everyone during the duration of the first lockdown.I decided this year I’m finally going to address my mental health issues, looked at online counselling and it sounded ideal. Then looked at the price
Bearing in mind there were also breaks in between all of those years, usually 4 weeks off for summer, four together for christmas and easter so it wasn't all continuous. We rearranged sessions when I had exams and my longest gap between sessions was 50 days. I also know friends who went every two or three weeks, so you don't have to go weekly if you can't. My youngest sister saw someone for £25 a session and she generally only does irregular drop in sessions when she needs to.
I don't mind sharing my therapists contact details or any of the other slightly lower cost therapists I found if you want that info in a PM.
Well done for putting yourself first. You could buy yourself something nice with all the money you save.That’s exactly how I feel - I’m always the one texting & checking in, when I don’t get it reciprocated. Last year was awful for me & I’m determined this year to put myself first - even that means losing people along the way! My MH will thank me for it.
I’m not sending Christmas/Birthday cards to people anymore either - I used to (pre Covid) love looking round Paperchase etc and buying cards for people and posting them. But then it comes to my Birthday and nothing! Sorry not doing it anymore
I honestly didn't read this as pity post. It does hurt when you have been there for others and they're their not there for you.
I'm also a member on another mental health forum where the others log in everyday too and I honestly would be lost without them so understand how posting can help.
Do you have another appointment with your CPN arranged?
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