Some things I found really disturbing, forgive the breakdown here but I'm actually a bit unsettled after watching.
She completely separates herself from the in-laws at several points, whether consciously or not. She opens with a shot of the Christmas tree in their sitting room and immediately says "That tree is brilliant but it's not our one" (00:28), and then she showcases the potted plant they're calling a tree up in the attic and says, "We have our own tree". They also have a full-blown carved wooden sign on their door that you'd get on the pillar of a house, reading 'The Den'. She captions this to say it's the sign they'll be using for their future house. Again, she's like literally placing a boundary between their attic bedroom and the remainder of the house, nearly positioning it as having its own independent entrance? She even knocks on the bleeping door and Thomas lets her in. To the bedroom. She then goes on to say that the TV in their bedroom makes it "a lot more homey" (?) at 7:11, she says that "it feels like we're in our own little place" - by being able to watch a movie there themselves. She's doing her absolute utmost to establish this attic bedroom as its own entity, disconnected from the family home.
She also says at 1:47 that she was living with her Dad "until she married [Thomas]"... surely they were living together prior to the wedding? I know they had lived in Spain together but surely they weren't getting married while still living apart? She very heavily emphasises that she's still 'renting' with her father and that they are 'contributing' in his family home. She says at 8:00, "Between the two of us, we're worth zero", i.e. that the figure she has saved is equal to Thomas' debt for his pilot training. She actually says, "If you take Thomas' debt, and my savings, we've got nothing". I don't know any married couple or even any long-term couple among my colleagues or friends who would be so divided with their finances? They're married and share a child, for duck's sake. I don't get how it can be her savings and his debt. There's no sense of togetherness there at all, there's no their debt and their savings. I feel like she almost relishes that he is broke as tit and dependent on her, for her fat stack in the bank? A bit like the way she appears to nurture complete dependency with that baby, she has the husband infantilised too. He hasn't got a penny and she has it all. It's beyond me why they don't just use her savings to clear up at least some of that debt - they are married after all. I have two friends who got Approval in Principle recently for a mortgage but had to do something similar at the start of 2020, he had a fairly big car loan (a car they both used) so they just paid it all off, began again and saved like duck during the pandemic to rebuild their deposit. If Thomas' debt really is the barrier to them being given a mortgage... get rid of it? She says at 10:23 that "We both are on really good salaries", so I just don't understand why, with those good salaries, they don't just get the debt down and rebuild. Surely, with two 'really good salaries', it wouldn't take them long while living with his family.
I actually almost felt sorry for Thomas around 8:10, he says "It makes more sense for me, personally, to be living at home because I need to pay back my loan before I can even think about saving for a house". It seems like it is very much his burden to bear alone, which just seems really odd for a married man. Where's the sense of partnership or unity there? She keeps the exclusive pronouns going by saying at 8:34, "I have a deposit for a house". Again, it's very much her deposit and her having the upper hand in what's meant to be a marriage.
The last thing I found really disturbing was the scaremongering from the two of them. At 9:33, Melanie says, "The issue is, a lot of people buy a house, far away like somewhere where they don't want to live and then they get stuck living there because they can never sell it". He kind of echoes that then at 16:54, claiming that a mortgage advisor they'd been speaking to allegedly said, "in his personal opinion, the days of the starter home are dead. Because he was like, chances are, whatever you buy, you're gonna be there for a very long time"? Have I missed something or is this actually a thing? I would have thought with a housing crisis so bad, houses could be sold?? I've been scrolling through daft.ie and myhome.ie (wishfully) for years and I don't think I've ever seen a house (in any of the many counties that I look through) be available for over twelve months. Where are all these homes that people can't sell? I'll take one!
Grow the duck up, you're making a show of yourself Melanie. Zig and Zag is right @monga
Or they both don’t want this is seems
... 19lb is heavy for a 3month old but she's feeding him every 90 mins I think that's excessive for a baby his age .
