Melanie Murphy #11 me neck, me back, I'm a hypochondriac

[Schumachay]

personally I totally agree now looking back, but at the time I was totally blind to her ways. I think unless you regularly keep up with Mel it can be hard to catch all of her narcissism since she glosses everything she says with rainbows and butterflies

100%
Im only on this site because I was actually a fan of hers for a few years, but it was during lockdown that I started to see her nasty side. I’m sure if I go back and rewatch her earlier stuff I’ll spot the issues straightaway, but as a 20 year old she was great to watch.

But she just called her son a bastard in the Insta comments... so theres that.

 

[Dearreader]

Just confused as to how people seem to think Thomas flying long haul is so unfair on Melanie?

She knew what the role of a pilot entails when she met him. It's on them that he decided he was never going to do long haul. You can't dictate your job role, you do what's asked of you. It's not a 9 to 5. Things change, you have to adapt...Like everyone else durning a pandemic.

He's going to Manchester not Japan. She was always whining about never leaving skerries because she wants the baby close to family. But by all appearances, is happy to stay in Ireland while her child's father is predominantly based in the UK while her job is online.

How she can say she craves stability is a head scratcher. They were whining about being destitute and living in an attic while spending on hair transplants, a car. Instead of moving ten minutes down the road for a cheaper home. Planning a wedding redo and flinging thousands at that as well, planning baby number two with no home of their own.

They want it all on their terms. Sure, Manchester has thrown a spanner in the works... normal people have to make sacrifices like this all the time and don't whine half as much. Normal people also aren't influencers who can't Work anywhere selling leggings and earning six figures.

 

[mama.llama.drama]

Just confused as to how people seem to think Thomas flying long haul is so unfair on Melanie?

She knew what the role of a pilot entails when she met him. It's on them that he decided he was never going to do long haul. You can't dictate your job role, you do what's asked of you. It's not a 9 to 5. Things change, you have to adapt...Like everyone else durning a pandemic.

He's going to Manchester not Japan. She was always whining about never leaving skerries because she wants the baby close to family. But by all appearances, is happy to stay in Ireland while her child's father is predominantly based in the UK while her job is online.

How she can say she craves stability is a head scratcher. They were whining about being destitute and living in an attic while spending on hair transplants, a car. Instead of moving ten minutes down the road for a cheaper home. Planning a wedding redo and flinging thousands at that as well, planning baby number two with no home of their own.

They want it all on their terms. Sure, Manchester has thrown a spanner in the works... normal people have to make sacrifices like this all the time and don't whine half as much. Normal people also aren't influencers who can't Work anywhere selling leggings and earning six figures.

I agree, particularly when he'll only be away for a couple of days at a time, 3 times a month. To earn huge money doing that seems like an incredibly good gig! Any normal parent would see that as a great lifestyle - to have your partner home and off work for solid chunks of time. Not Mel, she's lacking so many basic adult life skills (to be able to drive a car, swim, manage finances, run a household to list a few) she'll fall apart without Thomas at her beck and call. She's unhealthily dependant on him.

 

[metalbeard]

Just confused as to how people seem to think Thomas flying long haul is so unfair on Melanie?

She knew what the role of a pilot entails when she met him. It's on them that he decided he was never going to do long haul. You can't dictate your job role, you do what's asked of you. It's not a 9 to 5. Things change, you have to adapt...Like everyone else durning a pandemic.

He's going to Manchester not Japan. She was always whining about never leaving skerries because she wants the baby close to family. But by all appearances, is happy to stay in Ireland while her child's father is predominantly based in the UK while her job is online.

How she can say she craves stability is a head scratcher. They were whining about being destitute and living in an attic while spending on hair transplants, a car. Instead of moving ten minutes down the road for a cheaper home. Planning a wedding redo and flinging thousands at that as well, planning baby number two with no home of their own.

They want it all on their terms. Sure, Manchester has thrown a spanner in the works... normal people have to make sacrifices like this all the time and don't whine half as much. Normal people also aren't influencers who can't Work anywhere selling leggings and earning six figures.

I agree with ya he’s a pilot he was always going to just have to work whatever they had available, he can’t dictate what hours he wants, where he wants to fly, nobody can do that in their jobs you just work and do what you’re told especially just in the door

I suppose the narrative she is portraying, and this is no doubt how she wants it to come across, is that he is abandoning her for his career
At least to me that’s how it comes across rather than a couple who are making the best of a situation and making compromises together in their relationship

They both come across as selfish bints who couldn’t really care what the other wants, I really can’t stand her and I think he is the exact same, he’s selfish and immature
I think they’re just toxic and pretend they have an idyllic relationship when it’s very obviously not

Meanwhile there’s a kid in the middle now who isn’t really being prioritised from what I gather
Again that’s just my opinion
I don’t pity her at all considering the last year how she has supported anti-lockdown constantly
I think she cultivated this life for herself and will always try to spin it that she is a victim but I can also see how toxic he is

to summarise...they’re both gobshites

 

[artemist]

It sounds like a complete clusterfuck and if they had a logical thought between them they’d have waited to conceive til Thomas had been in his career for a little longer to pay off some debt and they had their own place. It’s their own bed they’ve made, as sad as it must be for Mel now facing Thomas’ being gone so often and having a baby under a year old, that’s the price you pay for naivety and stupid decision making

 

[Dearreader]

I agree with ya he’s a pilot he was always going to just have to work whatever they had available, he can’t dictate what hours he wants, where he wants to fly, nobody can do that in their jobs you just work and do what you’re told especially just in the door

I suppose the narrative she is portraying, and this is no doubt how she wants it to come across, is that he is abandoning her for his career
At least to me that’s how it comes across rather than a couple who are making the best of a situation and making compromises together in their relationship

They both come across as selfish bints who couldn’t really care what the other wants, I really can’t stand her and I think he is the exact same, he’s selfish and immature
I think they’re just toxic and pretend they have an idyllic relationship when it’s very obviously not

Meanwhile there’s a kid in the middle now who isn’t really being prioritised from what I gather
Again that’s just my opinion
I don’t pity her at all considering the last year how she has supported anti-lockdown constantly
I think she cultivated this life for herself and will always try to spin it that she is a victim but I can also see how toxic he is

to summarise...they’re both gobshites

Totally agree with everything you've said. There's a pair of them in it.

Even in the stereo they refer to it as long distance marriage, how much Melanie will miss him. Not once did they mention the baby or how they are planning on making sure the child has consistency and a stable environment.

I guess like you, I'm astounded how selfish they both are because they keep referencing themselves and not the most important person, the child. Like they are acting if they are only considering how it will impact them individually and not as in a family unit. V strange.

 

[newbotanic]

This video is so unhinged, like really concerning. Totally manic, she really needs help.
To sit and edit this and go, YUP that needs to go on the internet.

Also "pro choice, anti abortion" is sickening, her discussing her friends assault is sickening,
the manic laughing about Sex and the City at the same time?
What is this attachment to the show when she can't even leave her suburb?

I feel like this whole thing is really setting off obvious attachment issues between her and Thomas,
it feels like someone trying to justify everything is okay with gratitude when it's really bloody isn't in her internal mindset.
The way she's talking about being a mother, like it's the only thing keeping her alive but in the same breath almost catastrophizing?
This attachment to manifestation is not a healthy approach to it at all, she's spiritually bypassing her mental health issues.

I really don't care for Melanie, but watching this all I can think is I really hope she get's some serious help.

 

[Ms.Marble]

Totally agree with everything you've said. There's a pair of them in it.

Even in the stereo they refer to it as long distance marriage, how much Melanie will miss him. Not once did they mention the baby or how they are planning on making sure the child has consistency and a stable environment.

I guess like you, I'm astounded how selfish they both are because they keep referencing themselves and not the most important person, the child. Like they are acting if they are only considering how it will impact them individually and not as in a family unit. V strange.

Yes, it does sound like they're both so wrapped up in what it means for them individually and haven't gotten to the part where it affects their son.
Completely agree with the fact that if you become a pilot or marry a pilot you must be aware that long haul flights are a part of it. And ignoring that is just foolish, sorry You might get lucky and not have to do them for some time of your career, or when you are higher up on the ladder you can choose not to. But long haul is part of the game, from what I understand. If you crave stability in a partner's career, a pilot is not a perfect fit. Let's be honest.
I get that she wants to be close to family with the baby, but she also had always said that she is his ride or die, that she would follow him etc. And now that it might actually become a reality that's obviously out of the question? Or her dad retires early to be able to come with them? Give me strength! She says she's fiercely independent, but that's just the absolute opposite. I would never even dream of asking my parents to move with me. Especially if they're still working themselves. How selfish.
I have no clue how it would work out with Thomas commuting if pandemic regulations are still there. If he is based in Manchester and there are restrictions on mobility again into Ireland, authorities will give no fucks about Melanie being in Ireland and he might have a really hard time coming in and out of the country several times a month.
I obviously am not going to tell anybody what to do and we only see snippets of their lives, but it just seems like they don't really know what to do yet and haven't considered the ramifications of this development. I would try to figure that out first and then talk about it online. Their first priority should be their son and stability for him. It's not a 5 month kind of thing they're deciding on. It's five years. That's a massive amount of time in a child's life. A child that has always had both parents at home most of the time, mind you. And even if he only does a few longhaul flights a month, there is a reason they leave so much space between them. They can be grueling, from what I've heard. And it's not the same coming home after one of those as coming home from the office. There is an adjustment that's necessary, so it's not like he's completely just off work at these times.
Did they mention anywhere that the long haul flying will mean an increased salary by the way? It usually does.
So financially this could be a really great move for them and I don't really think it's selfish on Thomas's part to take the opportunity. It's not like she has to give up her work for his....

 

[Sazb64]

I must admit I feel for her. She clearly needs help. I'm an emotional person so I get it, but those massive swings in emotions are not normal. Her words don't match her actions. She couldn't look more sad and upset whilst saying how lucky and grateful she is. They are not happy tears.

Her dreams are crumbling around her. She foolishly thought she was on to a winner. A short-haul pilot on amazing money who's around loads. In reality, if they get a mortgage for their McMansion in Skerries, she's going to be there alone. And will end up staying in her dad's. Thomas comes across like a massive flirt and she's so desperately insecure, she will crack. I think she's having major doubts, but has to dress it up as wow aren't we so lucky because the truth isn't worth facing up to. I just hope he doesn't knock her up before leaving

 

[PumpkinLanterns]

Long post ahead, my apologies in advance.

Mel claiming to be a survivor and yet posting a video casually talking about someone elses trauma as a side plot, is just outrageous to me. I had to see it for myself after @Dearreader brought it up. Mel really tried to center herself as the victim in that story. There are a million ways she could have worded it to be more respectful and less triggering. Zero effort made. And then later on, she word vomits about how happy she wishes everyone could be and they just need to think positive. Are you KIDDING me.

I also agree with what @newbotanic said above. She's desperatly clinging to 'the secret' as a way to feel like she has control. She's trying to cure mental illness with positive thinking.

She made a career out of becoming whatever was currently popular or controversial. And most of her sucess was due to good timing and being one of the first Irish youtubers. (Not a bad thing, could be said of most youtubers) which she calls "manifesting".

But now she's at the age where she has to present herself in a more real and honest way. It's harder for her to transform into whatever is trending. And her tit attitude is becoming more apparent. As a result, her "manifestations" aren't materializing. People aren't responding to her like they used to and it's hard for her to swallow. So she blames everything wrong in her life on covid and "the trolls", but never takes any accountability for her poor choices and inability to adapt to adulthood.

This new video was a cry for help if I've ever seen one. Mel, just do what your doctor tells you, if you keep asking for help then refusing what they give you, you're never going to get properly treated. It's like the boy who cried wolf. They can't help you if you turn your nose up at them then come running back crying and repeat.

 

[Dearreader]

Just noticed a very sad comment on Melanie's latest video. I don't want to post it here. But it's something I was worrying would happen by way of Melanie using manifesting, positive thinking and the secret instead of getting intensive therapy and then promoting such thinking to followers. It's why I find the whole thing very problematic.. and how these "life skills" are dangerous and prevent people from getting the help they need and or dismissing their own trauma in favour of a positive mindset.

Trigger Warning SA
A user has commented about her story of sexual assault stating they wished they had controlled how they had reacted to the assault, that these " bumps in the road" could have been overcome easily if they had looked at it differently.

I'm just really saddened by this. I'm saddened that Melanie is putting serious life traumas In the same video she mentions manifesting and magic mushrooms.

I really hope Melanie gets the help she needs with good support around her but she really needs to think twice about what she's putting out into the YouTube space when she's not qualified to teach/discuss/advise on the topics in her video.

 

[Catdog091]

I'm just unaware of what benefit there is to be had of her sharing that video. It could of been a great opertunity to highlight relevant charities and resources for people who have simular experiences.

Thomas's new job has derailed her, I imagine she is feeling very insecure and abandoned which can trigger previous trauma and distress in some folk which i think she's toying with. She's comparing previous relationships to her current one to try and justify whatever she is feeling.

 

[rnpkr7829]

Totally agree with everything you've said. There's a pair of them in it.

Even in the stereo they refer to it as long distance marriage, how much Melanie will miss him. Not once did they mention the baby or how they are planning on making sure the child has consistency and a stable environment.

I guess like you, I'm astounded how selfish they both are because they keep referencing themselves and not the most important person, the child. Like they are acting if they are only considering how it will impact them individually and not as in a family unit. V strange.

This! Selfishness on both their parts. I moved continents away from my family with my husband for his job and now settled in Ireland for long term. It was a decision where my husband’s career was put first because his job was financially more sound than mine and I could work from anywhere. Not saying everyone should do the same but you get married KNOWING the choices you’ll be making. You don’t bring a child into the world KNOWING you won’t be able to give him a stable environment. It’s like they both try to one up each other in being more selfish, no consideration for the child whatsoever. Toxic parenting!!!! Besides, its 2021, I’ve never seen anyone say we can’t take the child away from grandparents! I doubt Thomas’s parents are given time to be with the kid as it is and Melanie’s dad seems way too self absorbed for that. Just admit it’s actually YOU who can’t raise a kid without grandparents.

 

[Chinese_whispers]

Thomas's new job has derailed her, I imagine she is feeling very insecure and abandoned which can trigger previous trauma and distress in some folk which i think she's toying with. She's comparing previous relationships to her current one to try and justify whatever she is feeling.

This exactly. TW: SA, Domestic Abuse and assault

friend of mine thankfully got out of a very emotionally manipulative relationship recently. It took her a year and a half to see it because every time she was upset at him she would justify it and say at least he isn’t raping or hitting me - so in her mind it was the best relationship she’d ever been in.

I’m not saying Thomas is a monster because I don’t know that much about him/ his voice grates me so I don’t listen to him but everything about the move/baby/post-wedding life is all about what he wants and very little to do what’s best for the family unit. In that sense I do feel a bit sad for Melanie.

 

[Catdog091]

This exactly. TW: SA, Domestic Abuse and assault

friend of mine thankfully got out of a very emotionally manipulative relationship recently. It took her a year and a half to see it because every time she was upset at him she would justify it and say at least he isn’t raping or hitting me - so in her mind it was the best relationship she’d ever been in.

I’m not saying Thomas is a monster because I don’t know that much about him/ his voice grates me so I don’t listen to him but everything about the move/baby/post-wedding life is all about what he wants and very little to do what’s best for the family unit. In that sense I do feel a bit sad for Melanie.

Oh he irritates me too, wading in with eyebrows and teeth half way through filming but I don't think he is a monster either. He has had to make a decision based on the fact that he does want to work in the profession he has trained for and it doesn't match the idealistic goals they set out which has unsettled her.

Inevitably Melanie may be forced to make decisions about her career and life too, I actually believe will be beneficial to her, she is lacking self worth and has become entirely dependent on Thomas.

 

[oicheliath]

Pro choice, anti abortion that's a new one

Drives me mad when she says that. Why does she need to add anti-abortion, that can be included within pro-choice. It insinuates that there's a group of pro-abortion people, simply mad for abortions they are! Like some people do it for the craic. It was a make believe argument during the referendum here. Melanie, having made a whole short film on the topic, should really know better. It's ugly language. A "pick me!" for liberal Catholics.

 

[Dearreader]

Drives me mad when she says that. Why does she need to add anti-abortion, that can be included within pro-choice. It insinuates that there's a group of pro-abortion people, simply mad for abortions they are! Like some people do it for the craic. It was a make believe argument during the referendum here. Melanie, having made a whole short film on the topic, should really know better. It's ugly language. A "pick me!" for liberal Catholics.

It's the I personally could never do it, for me

As if it's an easy decision for anybody to make. As if it makes Melanie *somehow* a better person than those who felt they had to/wanted to due to circumstance.

It's an air of I'm a free tHiNkEr but judging you because I just couldn't do it.

It's a shame-y statement that really has no place in the discussion. Didn't even need to be mentioned.

While I'm pissed off- the bit of her crying about wishing everyone watching could have a baby - her viewers that can no longer watch. She never mentioned that throughout her whole pregnancy/ motherhood content. I've noticed Zoe sugg and Anna Newton have added disclaimers since their pregnancies that they understand it might be hard for some viewers and understand this... I feel like Mel is just portraying faux empathy a bit too late.

 

[Anyauldnamewilldo]

We know what will happen, they'll rent a room for Thomas, and then she'll continue to scrounge off the in laws while complaining of how hard it is being a "single parent"

I think she'll continue scrounging off the in laws for a while, continue complaining how difficult her life is #singleparent and then wildly move back in with her dad until baldy is "set up" in the UK where they can move to the UK and she can live out her fantasy of "Irish living in the UK" (which imo is very outdated. yo mel the 2010s called they want their theme back!), or "forced to leave my homeland" (like youre not in a desperate war-torn country u fool) and set up shop there, maybe also launching that mammy i'm not a mammy, lifestyle-family-vlog shite channel.

Just confused as to how people seem to think Thomas flying long haul is so unfair on Melanie?

She knew what the role of a pilot entails when she met him. It's on them that he decided he was never going to do long haul. You can't dictate your job role, you do what's asked of you. It's not a 9 to 5. Things change, you have to adapt...Like everyone else durning a pandemic.

He's going to Manchester not Japan. She was always whining about never leaving skerries because she wants the baby close to family. But by all appearances, is happy to stay in Ireland while her child's father is predominantly based in the UK while her job is online.

How she can say she craves stability is a head scratcher. They were whining about being destitute and living in an attic while spending on hair transplants, a car. Instead of moving ten minutes down the road for a cheaper home. Planning a wedding redo and flinging thousands at that as well, planning baby number two with no home of their own.

They want it all on their terms. Sure, Manchester has thrown a spanner in the works... normal people have to make sacrifices like this all the time and don't whine half as much. Normal people also aren't influencers who can't Work anywhere selling leggings and earning six figures.

Hello logic, seriously though for those of you implying she was forced into her choices, are you guys forgetting everything this woman has done thus far?? How was she forced into having a child and marrying the man? Please tell me because all I see if an entitled brat acting out. She and him need to grow the duck up. There are SO many unemployed people right now, who would I imagine love to be offered a job, even if that meant leaving Ireland. A job can cover your arse. Fairytale land with whims does no.

They're both toxic.

Thank you to those of you who watched her latest video, and gave us an insight. I do not have it in me to watch more self-centred egotistical meltdowns right now. Does anyone know if she has an agency of sorts, like does anybody proof her uploads prior to uploading? I appreciate that lockdown with a baby and potential PPD is happening but why on earth would you deem it okay to flaunt a traumatic experience for your 'friend' in order to make some money? Absolutely disgusting behaviour, no PPD is a way out on that.

 

[Chinese_whispers]

Just to say that I do agree that they’re both toxic and wanted the best of both worlds. I called it months ago that he was only looking for short haul flights because the wanting to travel thing is bullshit. He wants the high pay and the short flights with the house by the sea, wife and 3 kids at home with the “badge“ of being a pilot. They’re extremely old fashioned that way. All of that is fine to want but just own it.

 

[Catdog091]

There are SO many unemployed people right now, who would I imagine love to be offered a job, even if that meant leaving Ireland. A job can cover your arse.

Exactly! I know a pilot who's now working as a supermarket delivery driver. He's actually really enjoying being productive and being out meeting people. On the other scale I also know people who have joined pyramid schemes and quite literally selling their souls to make something of it, it's really heartbreaking.