Mason Mount #35 Apparently Mason has a sore tooth but only NPB knows the truth….

[kria]

I mean the legal age over here to have sex is 16, so technically you could be a mother before you turn 17.

What so 17 year old mother’s are gross for sexualising him too? I doubt it.

STOP CALLING US OLD
IM IN MY 20’s FFS
IM SICK OF THIS

I had the Moderna Vaccine for christ sakes, surely that means I’m still in my prime

Erm I’m in my 30s (I guess that means I’m old) and I’m a mother but I’m not his mother ffs and I don’t ‘sexualise’ him in front of my kids so I can’t see why that fucking matters!

Last thing he needs with a wisdom infection.

He should just scrawl ‘fuck off’ on them all

 

[Tabbytiger]

It’s totally that!
It reminds me of when I go back to where I grew up and if I go out I play dodge the moron I went to school with otherwise you’re stuck with the “I’ve not seen you for yeaaaaars” “we should hang out and catch up”

Hahahaha I hate this but also sometimes I turn into such a bitch when I’m drunk that I literally have the deadest face and say things like “Sorry I don’t know you” 🥲

 

[keylimepie]

Tuchel’s just confirmed it actually was a wisdom tooth keeping Mason out last week damn you NPB why did you have to be right.

Oh for fucks sake no

 

[Smca53]

Morning, all!

Happy haircuts @PunkRocker @Rodney2208

I’m off today for the first time in ages and I have plans to… do absolutely nothing at all (after the necessary housework is done obvs - sad I’m not a WAG with a cleaner tbh)

 

[Chani10]

I think I'm going to go to bed early for once after a huge win in that fantastic competition called the Europa League
Talk to you all tomorrow from two different places because we have a little trip planned for the weekend

 

[QueenL]

Finally able to have some time to catch up with the thread, and you never disappoint.
Sad that some of you had such an awful start to the week. Same here, work has been killing me, and on top of that my mood has been so low that I didn't even have the energy to be here or even read any Mase smut.

You lot nearly killed me with all that childbirth talk….way to help support my argument that I’m not ready yet to have a kid. Between you and one of my friends that had an awful pregnancy. But in a way I’m glad for it; I feel like a loooong time pregnancy and childbirth were such taboos that everything was fine, nothing to worry, all sunshine and rainbows and I think it is way better to face the situation knowing everything that can happen.

Incredible news @calmyourritas So so happy for you!!!

Also, it was you the one that had horrible headaches a while ago, right? Hope they are gone!

I thought the egg talk was traumatising but the fish one….and don't even start with the gerbil! I could have lived perfectly fine without knowing that!

@MrsGrealish your fics are great!! I think the sex scenes are realistic, and you can see that they are clearly written by an adult that has had sex, unlike some of the stuff you can read on Tumblr. And you don’t use those cringe nicknames they like so much, which is a great bonus! The sofa smut was great!! Wish I could be Cassie!! Also, Ty god sex, I approve!!

@nellyloz123 congrats on your first first on your degree!

@jflurker93 love your new hairstyle! I bet you are one of those lucky ones that look great with every hairstyle

@Chani10 sorry but there is no way I'm eating that! And less for as a hangover cure @SmoochL ; guess it works because people are so busy throwing up to be able to think about anything else!

 

[QueenL]

Last thing he needs with a wisdom infection.

When will those assholes stop??

 

[jflurker93]

More Research

 

[PunkRocker]

What they really think about us!!

[Mase] Do you lads know that I have a fan club?

[Deccers] What?

[Mase] Its true.

[Walks] Bro, don’t go in there. They’re insane.

[Mase] What’ya mean?

[Walks] They had an in depth chat about pegging!

[Jack] Wot’s peggin?

[Chilly] You don’t wanna know, Jack.

[Mase]

[Phil] Do I want 2 b pegged?

[Walks] No you don’t.

[Deccers]

[Jack] Tell me wot it means.

[Walks]

[Picks] Its when a girl does you up the bumhole with a strap on.

[Phil]

[Hendo] You seem a little too familiar with that, Picks.

[Picks]

[Mase]

[Deccers]

[Dom] Who’s the group, Mase?

[Mase] Flooded Basement Club.

*Radio silence for an hour*

[Mase] You lot are googling them, arent you?

[Deccers] Why’d we do that, Daddy

[Mase]

[Stonesy] Walks, why’d they call you snail.

[Walks] Coz my tongue looks like a slug, according to them nutters.

[Phil] It does.

[Walks] Shut up!

[Stonesy] One called @Scuffed wants to suck on your snail.

[Walks] At least they don’t call my dick, Yorkshire pudding.

[Stonesy] That’s only one of them. There’s plenty on there that want to ride me.

[Jack] Wot they say bout me?

[Stonesy] They call you call you Lightbulb.

[Jack] Why?

[Walks] Coz you’re a dimwit.

[Deccers] So true.

[Phil]

[Mase] Jack, you have a wife. She wants to know how big your dick is.

[Stonesy] She’ll be disappointed.

[Jack] I’ve got plenty to please a woman.

[Picks] Aye, a barbie doll.

[Chilly]

[Mase]

[Deccers]

[Walks]

[Harry M] Hi guys, been out. What I miss?

[Hendo] Picks likes pegging, Walks is a snail and Jack has a small dick.

[Reece] You lot are weird.

[Chilly] I do not have an STD!

[Mase] Are you sure about that…..Tink.

[Chilly] I’ve been checked.

[Mase]

[Deccers]

[Hendo]

[Picks]

[Jack]

[Walks] Chilly, they love to rag on you for not having a Chinese.

[Mase] Nevermind the Chinese, you should be worried about what @Geraldine.20.jobs and @Smca53 want to do with the KFC gravy.

[Jack] Wot do they want 2 do with gravy?

[Chilly] I don’t want to know.

[Walks] Shut up, Chilly. You know you want to.

[Chilly]

[Reece] Don’t ask about the corn on the cob then.

[Deccers] I love these women. They sound like a riot.

[Stonesy] Jack, I just went on your thread. They’re even worse. They want to breastfeed you and lick your arse clean after a shit.

[Phil] Jack, why do you always attract the weird ones?

[Hendo] Because he’s a dirty fucker himself.

[Paddy] I’m ok. They think I’m smart and they call me Paddy Long Dong.

[Shawberto] Do I get a mention?

[Mase] You got a wife in a dream key had. You raise sheep and Alpacas. It was quite beautiful.

[Shawberto] Is my wife hot?

[Walks] Yeah.

[Shawberto] Cool. Set me up with her.

[Harry K] Are you lot really clogging up the chat because a group of horny women?

[Stonesy] Yeah.

[Deccers] Horny women who go mental every time I’m shirtless and wearing my Captains armband. They don’t call me Spicy Ricey for nothing.

[Mase]

[Deccers] If you gave them more content Mase, they wouldn’t have to turn to me.

[Hendo] I’ve just read some of the smut they’ve written.

[Mase] Is it good?

[Hendo] Read it. Wife is getting it soon.

[Stonesy] Jack, me and you got some smut too.

[Jack] I wanna read it.

[Picks] Jack, you know you cant read that many big words.

[Jack] Sum1 read it for me.

[Stonesy] I just read it Jack. The things your wife wants to do to you.

[Mase] I’ve just read the boxing smut. Fuckkkkkkkkk!

[Deccers] Mase. Did you read the dream @keylimepie had about you properly. You went limp dick on her and only cuddled her.

[Mase] I hope I improved. I hate to be a dream disappointment.

[Shawberto] I want some Tramadol if you get those kind of dreams.

[Chilly] Speaking of limp dick. Poor Timo got done dirty by @PunkRocker.

[Mase] Let’s not tell him that they call him Dickboy!

[Chilly]

[Tyrone] You boys do chat a lot of shit.

[Mase] Have you read the thread?

[Tyrone] No, should I?

[Mase] Yes!

[Deccers] Yes!

[Tripps] Errr, can someone explain to me what is sexy about a woman laying an egg for you to eat?

[Lingz] You wot?

[Tripps] Read the post by @PunkRocker.

[Lingz] WTF?

[Jadon] How do you ask a woman to do that?

[Hendo] Away from anything sharp, I’m guessing.

[Phil]

[Kalvin] Ermmmm, I may have missed something. Since when was shitting and wanking at the same time a thing?

[Mase]

[Jack] U wot?

[Stonesy] I don’t think I want to know about that.

[Chilly] @GGina explains it. It’s weird but I cant work out the logistics of it.

[Picks] They think I’m the shwanker.

[Harry M] Stop having angry shwanks then.

[Picks]

[Paddy] Shwanking is harder than it looks and it can get messy.

[Mase]

[Jack] Grim.

[Trips] Let’s pretend you didn’t say that.

[Mase] Anyway. I’m curious about the FBC, I’m gonna hunt one down.

[Jack] If you find one, tell me my wife I have a big dick.

[Deccers] He just doesn’t know what to do with it.

[Chilly]

[Jack] Fuck you, Deccers.

[Mase] I’ll let you all know what I manage to find out.

So funny! I was reading it in their voices, it was so realistic I'm convinced it's real!

 

[Chani10]

You're all disgusted by that soup while I eat sauerkraut for fun and whenever I have a cold better than any medicine.

 

[jflurker93]

Last thing he needs with a wisdom infection.

Fuck me it’s like he’s writing a book!!

‘He loves the attention’ followed by shitty sarcastic half smile from him.

Leave our poorly boy alone, he doesn’t look as happy as he normally does. He’s even got his hood up
I just want to snuggle with him under his blanket..

 

[Geexoxo]

Can you imagine being well known/famous and bumping into a school friend from when you were 14.

They guilt you into following them on instagram or whatever, take a photo of you drunk when they don’t drink… and then make weird comments about you on instagram lives to insinuate that you’re besties.

Telling people you’ve missed work because of your wisdom teeth when in reality you have a cold because you’ve been being tested for covid and seen eating ‘get better’ soup/broth.

I bet she messages him and he’s just like yeah cool (like when she said she showed him the tik toks) because he’s a nice guy and doesn’t know how to tell her to fuck off.

I’ll do it for you Mason, just say the word.

The same tik toks she then also said he had never seen if I remember correctly she’s a sandwich short of a picnic

 

[Eden246]

Oh for fucks sake no

Don’t like to give her too much attention but it’s not really right of her to be telling those 3 followers the reason why he did miss the match. Silly bint.

 

[Chani10]

Mason doesn’t look any different ?

He's a bit chubby after all.

 

[Smca53]

HAPPY FUCK ME FRIDAY BITCHES

its freedom day I am out of isolation!

to celebrate, tiktok thought I wanted to see voldy screeching yet another love song on my fyp. No thanks tiktok Not letting that rain on my parade today

game day tomorrow! My first match back since masons hatrick (what a bloody day that was!!)

You and Mason have been out of action at the same time and coming back for the same match…. Coincidence ?

Glad you are free, hope you enjoy tomorrow!

 

[GGina]

Aww I actually feel so sorry for our boy with his wisdom tooth pain poor love no wonder all he can eat is dirty dishwater soup

 

[Tabbytiger]

That one is just for the FBC.

I still love how the FBC is a collective person in that one just as much as I did when I first read it Our vaginas are one

 

[MrsGrealish]

Work can go in the bin, i’m skiving sick leave me alone.

Anyway, for smut research purposes.

If you were to have a falling out with Mason would you rather….

• Have angsty sex but your still not talking after it?

• Have makeup sex after you made up?

Angry sex, tell him he's still a shit.

More angry sex, still a shit.

More angry sex then he buys you a car to say how truly sorry he is.

Make up sex.

 

[jflurker93]

Thanks everyone, I wish I could sleep
If only Mason was here to tuck me up in bed.

In other news, Alonso is injured which means less of him on my screen making me feel sick and more of Chilly with the big willy

 

[Geexoxo]

I know my first one I was ill the same evening but this has been over 24+ hours later


Can we just take a moment to appreciate the caption on this, do one butternips our boys is a sweetheart even when he’s poorly!

^ mase ringing little Nath when he saw all the stalkers crying and screaming at him on his way home