Bloody cow bag, it best not have been a meat sandwich or she’s getting more than dunked in alpaca tit!
Mason Mount #25 Camping trip now exposed, Mason your nan's toaster might explode!
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Maybe David was just a practice run… 
I read a smut about our Ty the other day, it was about him being so big but careful
@MensaBarbie1985
I just don't want all those pointy edges
it's abnormal!
I'm sorry, what??
You feel nothing for him but you have dreams about Tink...
Send it our way if you can! I'll appreciate it!
I read a smut about our Ty the other day, it was about him being so big but careful
There’s only one pointy thing of his that interests me !I just don't want all those pointy edges
At least you won’t have those problems with our chubby short arrogant gonorrhoea boyI just don't want all those pointy edges
Now that I could get on board with…I’m off to Google
I read a smut about our Ty the other day, it was about him being so big but careful
Exactly, I know what I like and I like what I knowAt least you won’t have those problems with our chubby short arrogant gonorrhoea boy
View attachment 811840
Here’s the Tyrone smut ladies x
Look at him in that suit though
Look at him in that suit though
Omg I loved this. Giggled all the way through. I exceptionally love that Voldemort fell in tit! I am LOVING that you finally got the Portsmouth pork!!!!!Sorry it’s taken me so long today. Work was a bleeping nightmare and then one of my children needed taking somewhere
Right this one was harder to get into as I firstly started dreaming about eating all the cookies in a Tesco and refusing to pay for them but I did eventually get there! This is really long and has taken me ages to write but I didn’t want to miss anything out. It’s a long read and I’m sorry!
So the reception started with a live band and the barn covered in beautiful fairy lights. It looked fantastic. Everyone was chatting away.
Jessy came over to me and said thanks for coming even though I didn’t think you would. I said of course I would be there as you’re my bestie and no matter what has happened, I’m always there for you. We hugged it out. Jessy had changed into a shorter dress for her wedding dance and to party hard!
@Geraldine.20.jobs was with Chilly in the corner. I could see her hand was somewhere it shouldn’t have been in such a public space. I quickly turned away!!
Jack and Laura were dancing with Eden and Pebbles. Eden and John were showing them an easy dance to learn. Laura got it, Jack didn’t unsurprisingly.
Gina and Reece were talking to Scuffed and Dec about parenting and how their babies were getting on.
Dennis and Tabby were asking the band if they could sing a song for the newlyweds.
Kane was following Mensa around and was told to get away several times. Mensa was eventually saved by Tyrone. Kane kept loitering around the buffet waiting for girls to come over. Laylavd told him to do one as well.
Snail and Annie headed for the exit.
Irishgal and Gnasher were making their own cocktails and having a drinking competition. I’d Gnasher won, he ended up in bed with Irishgal (so so sorry!!)
DCL and Suder were talking lovingly to one another and dancing to the music while looking into each other’s eyes.
Timo and Punkie were with Kai and Chani. They were planning to go to Germany together.
Isanythingrealanymore and nellyloz sat at the makeshift bar trying to get Rashford and Lingards numbers. Dele was hovering nearby.
Pickford and Calmyourritas were downing shots and being very loud
I was sat next to Mason and we chatted about what had happened blah blah. Eventually got to kissing each other (yes!) He was a great kisser!
Jessy and Luke were going to the dance floor to do their first dance. As they were then about to start. Snail and Annie walked back in. They had company though in the form of Voldemort and Dec’s ex Lauren.
Annie shouted that she knew all of the skanks of the FBC would be under one roof so she told Voldemort and Lauren where we would all be. They wanted revenge.
Voldemort walked up to Jessy and said she was here to say her piece. She walked to the band and grabbed a microphone accompanied by Lauren and Annie.
Voldemort started kicking off about how the FBC had ruined her, Lauren and Annie’s lives through being professional hoes
Luke told them that was enough and to get out. They were not invited and nobody wanted them there. He took the microphone off of Voldemort and accidentally hit Annie in the struggle. Snail then pipes up and goes to hit Luke but is stopped by Chilly and Rashford. Voldemort walks up to Mason and throws the drink that was sitting next to him in his face and declared he was a bleeping hole. I got up and smacked her across the face. This then brought the other two anti FBC clan over in my direction.
Punkie, Calmyourritas, Jessy, Suder and Chani all ran across to where they were and surrounded them. Voldemort got right in my face and called me a bleeping skank who’s little club is full of whores.
With that Punkie grabbed hold of her and swung her round. Timo got scared and hid behind Kai for safety.
Punkie shouted at Voldemort and told her she was not invited and to do one. Voldemort laughed in her face and told her to go and sit back down as it didn’t concern her. Punkie said I don’t bleeping think so and pulled her towards the door. Voldemort grabbed a sandwich from the buffet table and smeared it all over Jessys dress.
Then came the biggest FBC throwing of hands ever.
Calmyourritas took the vol au vents tray and threw it over the 3 witches. They were covered in pastry and various fillings. Lauren pulled Scuffed hair which made Dec cry and hug scuffed tight. He then took her away kissing her forehead.
Mrs Grealish walked over with Jack saying don’t get involved. Laura told Jack to leave her as these are her girls who need help.
Eden used her dancing skills to kick Voldemort out the door.
Irishgal dragged Voldermort out the door and threw her in the Alpaca field. Voldermort landed in the tit. The entire FBC laughed.
The other two were also thrown in the alpaca tit by Geraldine and Punkie.
Luke had run and got the security that were on the gate to come and get rid of the uninvited guests. They did the walk of shame while smelling delightful!
Snail ran after Annie and knew that he was completely fucked with all the boys.
Luke was comforting Jessy who’s dress had just been sandwiched. He said it didn’t matter and she could go into the house and change. Off they went together. They were gone ages
As we were waiting for them, the rest of us started drinking heavily. Vodka shots, Sambuca, jagerbombs you name it we did it.
We all then thought of where we all sleeping that night. Chani said we are all in tents that were in the side field.
As we got more and more pissed, we became more amorous with our men
Mensa and Tyrone were talking filth to each other and they didn’t care who heard. Laura had snuck under the table and was giving Jack a blow job. Punkie was explaining the joys of domination to a bemused Eden and Pebbles.
Jessy and Luke returned and did their first dance to the dirty dancing song (sorry it’s not starship!) Eden and Pebbles then got on the dance floor and showed everyone their moves. Which created a massive dance odd situation!
Dennis and Tabby were singing Tragedy
Mason then pulled me out of the barn and said let’s find our tent. We found the tent and sat down on our sleeping bags. I joked if he wanted to play Uno. He said no but I can think of something else10/10
I love taking Tramadol !! Bit disappointed our first time was in a tent but at least I got something eventually. bleeping pissed off Voldemort came along and started a fight!!
@jflurker93 you might get some memes out of this one!! Your reception was a blast!
I was brushing my teeth and thinking about the Mings slander and said to myself: we never fully agree when it comes to liking a man.
...then I realised we're all here because of Mason
Long week.
...then I realised we're all here because of Mason
Long week.
The second one I can’t cope
Slander would be saying that Tyrone is only a couple of sit-ups away from being Terry Crews the Tootsie RollI was brushing my teeth and thinking about the Mings slander and said to myself: we never fully agree when it comes to liking a man.
...then I realised we're all here because of Mason
Long week.
The likeness is spot on.Slander would be saying that Tyrone is only a couple of sit-ups away from being Terry Crews the Tootsie Roll
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Ohhh there’s my bedtime reading sorted 
Bye for now all I’m off to find my very own Tyrone/Craig/Mason/any will do… actually heading to where footballers can often be found but my local team is Middlesbrough
Bye for now all I’m off to find my very own Tyrone/Craig/Mason/any will do… actually heading to where footballers can often be found but my local team is Middlesbrough
Thank you so much!!!Here’s the Tyrone smut ladies x
Look at him in that suit though
Will read before going to bed!
manifesting some dreamsLookingOhhh there’s my bedtime reading sorted
Bye for now all I’m off to find my very own Tyrone/Craig/Mason/any will do… actually heading to where footballers can often be found but my local team is Middlesbrough
View attachment 811883
Mensa! Hope you find your footballer We were thinking about going out tomorrow and there's a part of me saying yes, but...I'm not sure I'm tired.
I'm tired.- Status