Recap:
> Marcus is trying to lose weight. This comes after Sid bet him £200 he would lose weight.
> Hysterically, this comes a day after he started creating some air fried concoctions - a deep fried mars bar which was rolled in stodgy pastry, chicken rolled in crushed up Doritos, and cheese bites covered in Cheeto crumbs.
> Inspired, Marcus created a weight loss group yesterday afternoon and, citing security aka not wanting tattlers in the group he decided to charge a fee before allowing membership to the group, despite this being against Facebook’s rules. He charged £5, and then after a healthy dose of blocking and deleting anyone who pointed out his grifting behaviour, lowered the price to £3.50. As of this morning the group had ten members, one of which is himself. The page is still active but his links to it have been deleted.
> Aside from his grifting, Marcus decided to become a movie reviewer, claiming to watch and review ten horror movies a day. This got off to a fantastic start (she says, sarcastically) as Marcus was caught having copy and pasted a review of the film and lying that this review was his own opinion.
> A day into his new diet, marcus is hoovering down that well known healthy meal of pasta, beans and cheese. In doing so he has also reinvented metrics, a sprinkle of cheese is on his pasta he says, when really it is the entire block.
you guys just kill me thread through through thread 
prepare yourself for the shitshow that is Marcus Mitchell 
to help you settle in. 
