Now he's wittering about going bald and compliment fishing. He grew that disgusting, greasy haystack in an effort to mask his receding hairline. Cue the comments, "Oh Greggles, I can't resist a thin-skinned, balding, man-baby."
"Oh sexy Greggles, sexy Samson IG, your greasy locks give me the horn, if you cut them off the whole female population will be bereft."
Of course there'll be a mild comment and he'll go apeshit, as usual. Probably more so because the isn't just wallpaper.
Honestly, short and balding is better than long, greasy rats tails that you can't be arsed to look after. I wonder if Cot has finally had enough of and had a word?