BONNETS and FROCKS GARDEN PARTY
Chapter 2 ...cont...
...A Barouche carriage belonging to Mr Knightly is travelling down the driveway to Chawton House. The horses pulling this carriage are particularly fine and much admired by the lovely Miss Geranium. Mr Knightly has been despairing over the youthful hubris of his young friend Emma Woodhouse. Miss Geranium has been adjusting her tortoiseshell glasses as she peers over her fan at her companion in the hope that he thinks her polite enough to be paying full attention. Since Mr Knightly is clearly too old for her it must be said that Miss Geranium cannot but secretly think of the handsome Captain Wentworth who lives at Lyme. She tries to concentrate as Mr Knightly continues with his diatribe...
Mr Knightly - ...and then Miss Geranium I said - ‘Vanity working on a weak head produces every sort of mischief’.
Miss Geranium - (distractedly) - One cannot love a reserved person. There is safety in reserve but no attraction, Sir. Do you not think that there are people who the more you do for them - the less they will do for themselves?
Mr Knightly - You see the thing is Miss Geranium...ah we are here. Let us continue our conversation as we admire this wonderful garden. I will find a glass of Ratafia for you immediately.
Miss Geranium nods graciously and cranes her neck to see if she can catch sight of Captain Wentworth. She would need little ‘persuasion‘ to ride home in his carriage should that invite ever be become forthcoming of course.
Captain Wentworth is indeed present at this Garden Party. He is half agony and half hope that he may today ’speak’ to the beautiful creature on his arm Miss Muffintop for she is too good and to excellent a creature to live without. Long has he admired her views on women’s constancy in the same vein as Miss Anne Elliot who’s own views have echoed down the centuries. Miss Muffintop is no stranger to watching and listening and she watches Captain Wentworth intently longing to tell him what is really in her heart. For the time being both are content to be together and walk in companionable silence...Both enjoying the colourful and amiable chattering of all of our guests. So many beautiful frocks sweep the grass and so many beautiful bonnets are in evidence - why if only a landscape painter were present to capture this delightful scene...what a picture it would make.
Sir Kenny Ken a famous inventor is enjoying the most pleasant promenade with Miss Jeana J. Miss Jeana has come fresh from her refusal to marry Henry Crawford of Mansfield Park. She is hopeful that no-one here will recognise her or know that she has changed her name from Fanny Price. She is so pleased to be hanging on every word of Sir Kenny Ken who has brought her here today in his Landeau drawn by the finest pair of horses.
Miss Jeana - Sir, I notice that you stare with great intent at the cigar you are rolling on your moleskin breeches. Your mind appears most occupied.
Sir Kenny Ken - Madam - forgive me but a thought has occurred to me. I feel inspired today, most notably by your presence but also by my observations of this cigar. It has occurred to me Miss Jeana that if I were to construct a wooden cylinder then drill a hole through the middle and attach a handle to it...and if I were to stick moleskin to the cylinder it might be used as a tool to apply paint with. A rolling paint tool, I believe this will help save on time since a larger area of wall could be painted. It may be one of my more useful inventions. I believe labour saving devices may be popular in years to come.
Miss Jeana - Why Sir, yes I believe you to be right. Why, only yesterday I was at the library of the Prince Regent at Carlton House. His librarian James Stanier Clarke showed me the fading of the painted walls there. I will be sure to mention this new invention of yours when next I see him.
Sir Kenny Ken - Madam! I am indebted to both your interest and your kind intent. I will make a prototype of my idea so that you may take it to him. I am so overwhelmed by your favour Ma’am.
Miss Jeana - Sir, there is no charm equal to tenderness of the heart and you Sir, have a heart we can only envy.
They continue their walk and notice Miss Canthus canoodling shamelessly with Mr Colin Firth Darcy by the boathouse next to the lake. Mr Colin Firth Darcy has supposedly been deployed to set out the fishing rods for the Gentlemen should they care to fish in Mr Austen’s lake. Gentle reader - pray turn a blind eye to this wanton display and let us move on together to meet some more guests. Tch.
Mr Graham McTavish Darcy is fondly accompanied by Miss Margo Polo (who expressed a wish to appear by Zoom today as she is in lockdown again but since it is the year of our Lord 1813 this writer knows not of what she speaks...) She speaks with a lively flourish. It is her compelling vivacity that draws her companion closer.
Miss Margo— Vanity and pride Mr McTavish, are different things though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us. Is this glorious weather not just too good for us, Sir?
Mr Graham McTavish Darcy - Indeed Ma’am. Indeed. Nobody minds having what is too good for them...
Mr McTavish Darcy raises his top hat and bows in acknowledgement to
Miss Allexie who walks past with her Colonel Brandon. Colonel Brandon with his Rickmanesque voice and brooding presence has been drawn to Miss Allexie since her angelic features and eagerness for all sorrows and all joys have stirred his memory of a certain Miss Marrianne Dashwood. Miss Allexie carries an armful of wild flowers freshly picked by Colonel Brandon.
Miss Allexie - Sir, I cannot believe it has taken me so long to love you. I cannot imagine myself to be in love with Mr Willoughby any longer. He has married for fortune and may it serve him well. Our fireside will burn all the brighter for the true love we share, Sir. Please would you be so kind as to recite the alphabet for me again? It is your voice, Sir. Your wonderful voice...
Miss Sophie is having a wonderful time on the arm of Mr Alan Titchmarsh. He is pointing out all the flowers and trees to her. Mr Titchmarsh secretly cannot believe his luck that such a rare beauty as Miss Sophie has extended an invitation to him. It took a great deal of planning and joint journaling to get them both here for the day and we must celebrate them both whilst we have the opportunity. Miss Sophie is wearing a rose pink bonnet and a rose pink frock and she looks a complete picture next to the flower beds and the deep herbaceous borders.
Mr Alan Titchmarsh - Ah! Madam the beauty of
Rosa Spirit of Freedom cannot match your loveliness and let me say that is saying a very great deal since it is one of the most beauteous of roses.
Miss Sophie - (whispering in his ear) Sir - there may be some purists reading this and do you not think this rose may not have been invented yet?
Mr Titchmarsh - I am lost for words, Madam, is not that our garden expert Mr Monty Don? He’s just over there canoodling with Miss Canthus? No I stand corrected ’tis not she - I do believe it is
Miss Lioness-Arising. What a glorious name for a rose do you not agree Miss Sophie?
They make haste to speak to Miss Lioness and Mr Monty Don who are in deep conversation near the asparagus beds.
Mr Monty Don - Ah yes Miss Lioness - to sit on a fine day and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment is it not?
Miss Lioness - Why yes Sir, the most perfect refreshment. Speaking of refreshment Sir, I am without my refreshment, I finished my third Ratafia almost an hour ago and a certain Gentleman seems not to have noticed.
(She peers over her fan engagingly whilst raising her eyebrows) Maybe he got a little carried away admiring the
Verbena Bonariensis - Yes Sir, you did mention that it may grown to over seven feet tall and one can see through it. Yes, yes, you have explained. Ah! Mr Titchmarsh I appear to be without Ratafia...
She slaps her empty glass hard into Mr Titchmarsh’s stomach and raises her eyebrows inquisitively...
Mrs Milking-Bennet is swinging her reticule in a nonchalant manner as she tries to stand in front of Miss Margo Polo in order to prevent Mr Archer Darcy from seeing her. She manages to catch Miss Margo’s eye and mouths “Reticules at dawn if you go near him!’ and then skilfully distracts Mr Archer Darcy with her famous come-hither gesticulating. She sways her hips and waves her parasol over her head in such a hypnotic fashion. He follows her like a puppy dog. Mrs Milking-Bennet sways over to the Maypole. Oh Sir - look at the beautiful ribbons. We will dance around it later will we not?
Mr Archer Darcy. Well I was rather hoping to join the Gentlemen for a spot of fishing later...
She faints...he reaches for her much used smelling salts - they are of course in her reticule...
Far in the distance we can see a donkey and trap heading down the long driveway. Surely this must be a poor relation...
Chapter 3.
to be continued...
