Lydia Millen #84 From tailored suit toff à la royale to Nasty Gal chav à la no morale

[Oops...]

The Great Rectomy
Area Of OUTSTANDING Natural Beauty
THE COTSWOLD'S

Dearest Ms Oops

Good Morning my darling! I trust this penned missive finds you well. Forgive me for my indelicate communication, but the rumour swirling around the Cotswold's Ladies Horticultural Club is that you are organising a somewhat elaborate soiree at Downtonbury.

Having not received my formal invitation, I can only surmise that the chaps delivering the (very) Royal Mail have been hampered and delayed by unusually large deliveries of luxury Amazon goods to my fellow country-dwelling ladies. Therefore, I shall assume I am invited and will accept graciously.

However, I must confess that I will have to attend 'incognito'. As you may know, I am now a close confidante and role model to a certain lady whom I shall not name - rhymes with 'Mrs Millen Cordon' of Edge-of-Buckingham AKA Northhampton - and I gather from the chatter around the seedling pots that she has not been invited. Now, as you will be aware, this woman is not one to cross or to 'slight' in any way whatsoever - there are simply not enough bananas and tea in the whole AONB to deal with that shiz situation. I fear if she discovers I have attended your event without her, my life would not be worth the cardboard toilet roll that wraps my darling seedlings!

My contribution is modest, but I am able to provide one of my (four) large marble tables and a marquee, and will bring my Cook-cum-garden boy who will make us the best luncheons using only bespoke kitchen garden produce - and will include his specialty - a stupendous Mac'n'cheese. He can be a 'bit of a Charlie' at times, but is tolerable if you don't ask him any questions. In fact, I beg of you Do Not ask him anything, or we will be there until dusk listening to long and tedious monologues.

I will also bring a couple of my best landscaping lads, who will do a master class of Topiary Tree Art - although to be honest, the last time they were at the property it did end in tears.

My dear, I must go with haste. Cook-cum-garden boy is here to trim my front bushes - we like to look our best at the Rectomy, and she is looking rather bedraggled at the moment. I look forward greatly to your confirmation of my attendance, and will be looking for an off-white Tshirt to complement my Prada straw hat and tote.

Yours in anticipation

Lady Josephine Chatterly

Your Ladyship

I am delighted that you have noted your DH Lawrence tent on the guest list recently published - (tugs forelock) - May I also advise that I am so very delighted and unashamedly grateful to hear that the much needed 4 large marble tables and a marquee are to be kindly gifted by your most gracious self.

The bringing of servants to a gathering like this is much needed and we will all benefit greatly from the services of your house boy and his Tacky Macky Ding Dong speciality dish. In addition may I say that that we long to enjoy your gardeners lecturing us on how to master the art of Topiary. The thought of this is particularly thrilling.

If it is not too delicate a matter (tugs forelock again) some of us here on the Ladies Attracting a Better Class of Servant Committee were just wondering if Her Ladyship might consider bringing her Gamekeeper too? I mean - everyone would understand if her Ladyship wants to keep him to herself - BUT since your generosity is so forthcoming we thought we might just mention it - entire Ladies Committee tug forelocks.

I remain Your Ladyships’s most humble Participating Party Planner

@Oops...

 

[toomuchstuff]

I remember in a vlog Josie paid £18 for a small salad from Daylesford. She could've gotten a posh Nando's instead for both her and ol' Chazzy boy ...

LOL I know people who could feed their whole family for a week on that If ever I get back to UK I won't be going to Daylesford for lunch, clearly.

 

[georgiecait]

You guys are missing the point. That’s the perfect dress for any given day in the greed house. Next week she’ll be pulling out weeds from her coffin beds (cause that’s all she can grow) with that on - and underneath amazon gardening knickers

Omg your username pahahaha amazing!

 

[AgiaNapa]

I need to do some new edits AmaliaLana x Paint3D collection, coming soon.
View attachment 548687


They really drank the cool-aid (Whispering Angel).

You mean “Whispoering”...

 

[Peppypoopar]

His kingdom aka kitchen and garden, pretending to like the dog on her stories

 

[LadyChat]

Your Ladyship

I am delighted that you have noted your DH Lawrence tent on the guest list recently published - (tugs forelock) - May I also advise that I am so very delighted and unashamedly grateful to hear that the much needed 4 large marble tables and a marquee are to be kindly gifted by your most gracious self.

The bringing of servants to a gathering like this is much needed and we will all benefit greatly from the services of your house boy and his Tacky Macky Ding Dong speciality dish. In addition may I say that that we long to enjoy your gardeners lecturing us on how to master the art of Topiary. The thought of this is particularly thrilling.

If it is not too delicate a matter (tugs forelock again) some of us here on the Ladies Attracting a Better Class of Servant Committee were just wondering if Her Ladyship might consider bringing her Gamekeeper too? I mean - everyone would understand if her Ladyship wants to keep him to herself - BUT since your generosity is so forthcoming we thought we might just mention it - entire Ladies Committee tug forelocks.

I remain Your Ladyships’s most humble Participating Party Planner

@Oops...

One is so pleased to hear that one's servants are allowed a place at your soiree. It just makes one's life so much more bearable to have help.

Of course I shall bring the Gamekeeper - although I hope he is not too exhausted after being of service to myself, that he cannot accommodate the other ladies in attendance.

 

[georgiecait]

For those outside of England or who aren't aware of Daylesford, their produce is not an accurate reflection of how much the average person would spend on groceries.

Daylesford is very well-known for its high prices and it's been like that since it opened. I remember when we first went as a family about 15 years ago and my Dad bought a block of parmesan for £9, we still joke about it now!

However I must say it's a delightful place, the produce and food is fantastic and they've always prided themselves on sourcing the best that they can, supporting local etc.
I even saw Kate Winslet glancing at some of the prices one Sunday many years ago. Perhaps I'm being a bit overprotective as I'm sad these influencers feel they've "discovered it" and you must shop there to look wealthy. It's fun to pop on a dress and have a nice lunch but for the majority of times I've turned up in leggings, wellies and a Barbour. It really is that sort of place too

 

[propane_lover]

Apologies in advance as I've still got 18 pages to catch up on...but this PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN ANYTHING

They ONLY purchased the dog to make money by having it for social media content and keeping up with the Joneses. If the dog barks, it annoys them.

Well Alistair, your VLOGS are as boring as a piece of used toilet paper and the prop (dog) barking is more interesting than the absolute boring drivel that you constantly release to gain $$$ on the tail of your fake wife.

GIVE THE DOG AWAY - You DO NOT DESERVE IT and it needs to live with humans that love it and don't use it for the 'gram.

Rant over.

I'm fairly certain that she said that she complains to Ali about the dog barking, not the other way around. Something about when he has been outside working in the garden and she's been inside and unable to film due to the dog barking, she complains to Ali. She is just so bizarre, honestly.

 

[ella1979]

Does anyone know if Lydia's car is a vogue? trying to figure out the car, I think it might be (I'm new). Lydia needs an Aga to keep up I think .... what did Lydia's parents do? is she self made or does the guy work?.

 

[toomuchstuff]

She told us she had done her research about dog breeds and decided that the dachshund was the most suitable/best suited whatever. So I know nothing about dogs and did 1 minute of research and this is what can be discovered after 1 search.

Though the Dachshund makes a great house dog, he does need his daily walks (on-leash! Dachshunds are chasers who will take off! -- and plenty of companionship. Loneliness will lead to excessive barking.

If you don't want to deal with:

• Stubbornness
• Scrappiness toward strange dogs, especially larger dogs
• Chasing and hunting instincts (chipmunks, birds, etc.)
• Notorious housebreaking difficulties
• Potential for excessive barking
• Potential for digging holes
• Excessive suspiciousness toward strangers when not socialized properly or made to behave
• Worries about the serious spinal problems that afflict 1 out of every 4 Dachshunds and can result in paralysis

Then a dachshund might not be right for you.

So, looks to me like she made the wrong choice.

 

[coconochanel]

Her contracts are thin on the ground so Intemiissssimi is one to hold on to - and yet, in spite of boxes of their stuff sent to her, she shows us Amazon undies, and - even better - openly bemoans the fact that Primark is closed ‘cos they had the best seamless bras! You couldn’t make this stuff up.

The fact she didnt know Primark was open made me wonder when the video was filmed.

 

[Milking Keynes]

His kingdom aka kitchen and garden, pretending to like the dog on her stories View attachment 549515

Ugh - we all know his kingdom is his crate, poor little fella . Such a fraud. She loves when he ‘obeys commands’ - she honestly thought he would be another Ali - obeying Kim Yong-Un - at the Kingdom of Northnts.

 

[Justabrowser]

She's "manifesting"!

it ain’t working maybe she can manifest away her narcissistic behaviour and her need to be validated

 

[coconochanel]

For sure we’re gonna see a lot of “loving” Porter content coming up, she messed up bad by showing her true colours in her latest vlog how she acts around that poor dog.
She already called him disgusting on camera and keeps him locked in one room of the house which to me is so fvucked up I can’t even watch it. It’s so obvious she hates him.
Her comment section is filled with negative comments from her minions about how she treats Porter she must be going crazy right now probably blaming the dog or Ali for this mess she’s created again....

and WHY is her pots and plants so over watered?! The soil looks like mud, of course nothing can grow but she’s so dumb she probably doesn’t connect the dots.

They are either over dry or over watered. Charlie Dimmock she ain't!

 

[toomuchstuff]

For those outside of England or who aren't aware of Daylesford, their produce is not an accurate reflection of how much the average person would spend on groceries.

Daylesford is very well-known for its high prices and it's been like that since it opened. I remember when we first went as a family about 15 years ago and my Dad bought a block of parmesan for £9, we still joke about it now!

However I must say it's a delightful place, the produce and food is fantastic and they've always prided themselves on sourcing the best that they can, supporting local etc.
I even saw Kate Winslet glancing at some of the prices one Sunday many years ago. Perhaps I'm being a bit overprotective as I'm sad these influencers feel they've "discovered it" and you must shop there to look wealthy. It's fun to pop on a dress and have a nice lunch but for the majority of times I've turned up in leggings, wellies and a Barbour. It really is that sort of place too

It truly does look idyllic as does most of the UK but it is actually reassuring to hear others would balk at those prices too. I visit with my sister who lives in the middle of London and we go food shopping together in Waitros/Sainsburys and I actually think their veg prices were very reasonable, Daylesford, if it's a touristy place would get away with charging those type of prices, we have places like that here in Oz too, they are just not the type of place you get your weekly groceries from.

 

[Justabrowser]

Ugh - we all know his kingdom is his crate, poor little fella . Such a fraud. She loves when he ‘obeys commands’ - she honestly thought he would be another Ali - obeying Kim Yong-Un - at the kingdom of Northnts.

we all know who rules that ‘kingdom’ and it sure isn’t poor little Porter .

She’s had made herself long, queen, prince, princess whatever else title she wants to ‘manifest’ to make herself more twaty. The others are just there for her narcissistic ways, wants and needs! She thrives off the fact that it has to be all about her in every single thing that she does. She has the need to have power over everything and if she doesn’t well we’ve all seen how well that goes down with her don’t we

 

[toomuchstuff]

Sorry if this has already been mentioned BUT have they put up a fence?? I can see what look like black stakes along the edge of the grass.

 

[Mycatmademedoit!!]

She told us she had done her research about dog breeds and decided that the dachshund was the most suitable/best suited whatever. So I know nothing about dogs and did 1 minute of research and this is what can be discovered after 1 search.

Though the Dachshund makes a great house dog, he does need his daily walks (on-leash! Dachshunds are chasers who will take off! -- and plenty of companionship. Loneliness will lead to excessive barking.

If you don't want to deal with:

• Stubbornness
• Scrappiness toward strange dogs, especially larger dogs
• Chasing and hunting instincts (chipmunks, birds, etc.)
• Notorious housebreaking difficulties
• Potential for excessive barking
• Potential for digging holes
• Excessive suspiciousness toward strangers when not socialized properly or made to behave
• Worries about the serious spinal problems that afflict 1 out of every 4 Dachshunds and can result in paralysis

Then a dachshund might not be right for you.

So, looks to me like she made the wrong choice.

When I was a little girl, my neighbour had Dachshunds, she used to let them out into the back garden around Midnight every night to do their night time ablutions, she had an outside light (when outside lights were not the norm) and it lit up the whole northern hemisphere. and they barked, and barked and better barked, they drove everyone in the street crazy, especially on a school night, but that wasn't the doggies fault, Lydia has Porter as an accessory, it breaks my heart.

 

[toomuchstuff]

So I dont know if its the way I have my YouTube set up or something but every comment I see on the latest vlog is negativity about Porter. Every one. If she deleted them she would literally have no comments.

 

[Milking Keynes]

It truly does look idyllic as does most of the UK but it is actually reassuring to hear others would balk at those prices too. I visit with my sister who lives in the middle of London and we go food shopping together in Waitros/Sainsburys and I actually think their veg prices were very reasonable, Daylesford, if it's a touristy place would get away with charging those type of prices, we have places like that here in Oz too, they are just not the type of place you get your weekly groceries from.

Yes - exactly. We have places dotted all over Ireland like this and they are a lovely experience - you don’t have to buy produce if you don’t want to as you can taste lovely food from an array of stalls and have a picnic lunch. My personal fave is the weekly Farmer’s Market at Kilkenny Castle - interesting tour and beautiful grounds. I really look forward to these outdoor places reopening soon.