Ugh. Literally, ugh. How boring can a young woman be? With her waffling about her garden (snore fest since she is absolute tit at it). Wow, a fireplace, in a fecking greenhouse. But it's fake fire, in the greedhouse of dreams. Jammed against the wall, next to a huge table. Is this meant to be luxe?
Pretending she is seasoned at strapping a dog into a secure carseat situation (yeah, right). Hydrangea this, hydrangea that, lavender, round bushes (soz, can't be arsed to even look up the terminology for a round bush plant), tumbled glass, bitching about the live pheasants yet fawning over flippin' pheasant wallpaper. (The "powder room" looks horrendous. I hated the fart paper but it was MILES better than this olive green pheasant paper/cherry paint abomination.)
Sitting on the floor (in her Hermés boots?), ripping into more and more boxes. Stopping to tell Porter he smells like tit, that he is disgusting, and making faces about him. (WOW Lydia - you're the best dog owner in the world. NOT! More like Cruella Despicable!) Porter, keep chewing buddy. Chew everything, fart every single time your momma comes near you, make sure you poo and pee on everything, and keep barking your beautiful ass off.
Back to Lydia, she who always interrupts her train of thought to fawn over Lumi. I love animals fiercely, but it's rude to the audience, no?
She is a big, misshapen, bag of dicks. Wait, maybe this is unfair to dicks. She is an utter twit. She has destroyed her looks, ruined any camaraderie she had with Ali, and her good fortune by being the biggest unapologetic C U N T to angelic Nicky with the good hair Lazou. She flits about expecting adoration (which in fairness she gets from brain dead subbies. I was one of them once, but saw the light, thank you baby Jesus.) I cannot believe MYTINYESTATE actually fawn over her. What is wrong with those 2 delicious blokes??
Irene, well, Lydia WISHES she had Irene's life. Irene better smarten up though. Lydia is a leech, she will attach herself, tag her to death and she will be connected to our slothie, weak wristed, dumbass across SM if she's not careful. Vic and Claire have been burnt. Carrie is too stupid, or too much like Lydia to realize how stupid her decision to work for this moron comes across. After all, Carrie is who brought us "Breathe Chicken Breathe", which I admit is an expression I would never have been acquainted with, seeing as how I'm a grown ass woman that handles her own business without need of smelling salts or handholding. Then again, I don't unleash psychotic rages at random hairdressers because my already fucked up hair came up dark.
#neverforgetLydiaEliseMillenisabully