Hang in there, @Oops... I’M ON MY WAY!It feels like the walls are closing in...
The walls ARE closing in...
HELP ME!
MAKE IT STOP!!
🩺 
KAREN MILLEN? MOI?...PUHLEESE...over my bed dody...Okay @Oops... I don’t want you getting confuzzled, so forget the Nasty Gal cosy clothes - just put a dirty old bathrobe on, it’s basically the same thing.
And if you ever happen to dislocate your elbow, wrist, or proximal phalanges whilst casually leaning up against a wall wearing a hideous Karen Millen dress ... you have your special call bell to summon me!
I thought you rang your call bell @Oops... I’m currently in my pre-loved Tardis on my way to resuscitate to you!
AMAZING!!! Oh my gosh that's just the best photoshop on any thread ever. Bravo, amazing
Oh wow thank you! It was a lucky shot I thinkAMAZING!!! Oh my gosh that's just the best photoshop on any thread ever. Bravo, amazing
.. Even if you are “lucky” enough to have a good sleeper, you’ll still be up in the night for feeds, teething etc! She’s very precious. And who'd have thought, all grown in that little veg trug!Solidarity Avatar duly noted! Welcome - now we are 34!
Muddy Carrots!
(as opposed to bunch and single carrot who have already joined)
The outfit looks weird and totally not her ‘aesthetic’.
And just like those mums are the least popular at baby group, so is Lydia with other dog ownersLydia’s comments on the puppy are doing my head in. She sounds like one of those mums who’s child is a “prodigy” with their over exaggerated BS. Ie “my child walked at 4 months and can recite the alphabet backwards in 3 different languages by 12 months”.
Just be honest. Things aren’t going perfectly. Stop lying.
Also, I did have to laugh regarding her comments about being woken up early/through the night by Porter. God love you when you have a baby is all I’ll say, it was one night
She’s also making the puppy into a far bigger deal than it actually is. Yes, you need to be responsible and know what you’re doing... but it really isn’t rocket science. The bell training is weird. I’d personally focus on toilet training and basic commands and leave it at that for a while. Focus on lots of bond building and love. Rather than going 100mph with the training and then, inevitably in a month, not being arsed anymore.
Also, as much as I love dogs and how cute Porter is, watching dog training clips is boring the tits off me.
Seriously. Stop. Please.
We have a beagle and his worst habit is jumping up to people on walks. We usually shout and he comes away fairly quickly (sometimes)! My husband gets really embarrassed but I take the attitude ‘if you’re wearing your good clothes out on a walk then I have no sympathy for you’
if I saw Lydia I would tell him to go and get a treat from that lady!Yes , I agree a good routine: food,water, toilet and little walkies and maybe a few little drives up the lane so sausage gets use to the car, little periods on his own, play time and interaction with humans and then once all that is done, a few basic orders and tricks!Lydia’s comments on the puppy are doing my head in. She sounds like one of those mums who’s child is a “prodigy” with their over exaggerated BS. Ie “my child walked at 4 months and can recite the alphabet backwards in 3 different languages by 12 months”.
Just be honest. Things aren’t going perfectly. Stop lying.
Also, I did have to laugh regarding her comments about being woken up early/through the night by Porter. God love you when you have a baby is all I’ll say, it was one night
She’s also making the puppy into a far bigger deal than it actually is. Yes, you need to be responsible and know what you’re doing... but it really isn’t rocket science. The bell training is weird. I’d personally focus on toilet training and basic commands and leave it at that for a while. Focus on lots of bond building and love. Rather than going 100mph with the training and then, inevitably in a month, not being arsed anymore.
Also, as much as I love dogs and how cute Porter is, watching dog training clips is boring the tits off me.
Seriously. Stop. Please.
Kettle on - Kettle boiling...YOU HAVE ARRIVED...Just having a nice socially distanced bit of resuscitation and a lovely chat. Advanced maths reversion therapy planned for later after we do a tour of my dressing room to prove no NastyGal or Karen Millen...vital signs improving by the secondI thought you rang your call bell @Oops... I’m currently in my pre-loved Tardis on my way to resuscitate to you!
Estimated time of arrival: 37 seconds and counting.
Can you please put the kettle on, seeing as you are clearly NOT having a myocardial infarction?
That’s what friends are for 
Copying in the frow!
I cooked you a nice soup. (to be honest, I would like a soup right now)Kettle on - Kettle boiling...YOU HAVE ARRIVED...Just having a nice socially distanced bit of resuscitation and a lovely chat. Advanced maths reversion therapy planned for later after we do a tour of my dressing room to prove no NastyGal or Karen Millen...vital signs improving by the second
Boring and predictable like all of them.
