Vlog 'An Update' - Thursday 8th October (spoiler it's not an update, it's the same tit as last week, and the week before that, and...)
- She's launching the first edit Karen Millen has ever done with an influencer. She gloats it's her. She couldn't deal with the comments. All the excitement. She's going to give us more detail like the price points etc. She doesn't. People like you Lydia are why God has left us to it.
- Her favourite outfit is they 'British racing green' skirt and cream jumper. The cream jumper is from H&M. LOL. Throughout the video you mostly see the H&M jumper. Great advertising Lydia. I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works.
- She was worried she didn't do the Cult Beauty box. If it's not well-rounded she won't put it out in the world. If she puts her name to something it has to be exceptional. Dead. So Cult Beauty refused to include Globy really then Lydia?
- She's glad she's moving into the fashion world. She would never do a collab with a luxury brand. She loved though they everyone thought it was with net-a-porter. You look like you wipe back to front Lydia.
- She can finally let us know her collection is online now legit. I mean it's been online for weeks. At a discount.
- She's going into London to get her hair done. Again. What happened to your local hairdresser? Did you get banned again? Just stay home Lydia. Your hair will thank you. So will the general public. You bring the average IQ down everywhere you go.
- Edit time again. Yawn. She's going to show some sneak peaks. We've seen them Lydia. In your last video. Oh and on the website. In the sale section. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
- Lumi now has consistent poo. She's being a lazy noisy moo moo. How easy I will sleep tonight now knowing this vital information.
- Update on her regular acupuncture, massages and reflexology. Again. It's life-changing. It makes life more doable. No Copeable. FFS learn English Lydia. But she's feeling anxious. She texted the acupuncturist this. The acupuncturist has not texted back yet. S/he gives no shits. Didums. Don't you have a terribly empty feeling Lydia- in your skull?
- She asks Lumi if she's come to see mummy's cashmere. She lisps she can't believe she gets to have cashmere in her collection. She'll link it in the description box. Don't bother trying to order fangirls. It's all coming soon. Always late to the partyyyy. The cashmere sets are flawless apparently. Like your marriage then Lydia?
- She won't be wearing the cashmere for fake tanning or cleaning. Who even says this out loud? The camera cuts to Lumi laying on all her clothes in her cupboard. I know you must have a brain Lydia. So you're technically alive. But then so is a potato.
- She's advertising a coat. It has pockets and a hood. She highlights people are not going to be buying clothes right now but this is a practical one. Great advertising again. Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.
- She's not followed any trend with this edit. They're classic like this leather jacket. So classic it'll end up on Depop in 3, 2, 1.
- She screwed up majorly with her Tods coat. Because Karen Millen gave her a similar one for free.
- She's going to wear a dress that she loves. She loves it so much despite it being in her wardrobe for months. It's super stretchy and clings to her. You're literally the equivalent of a stepped on sandcastle.
- She's now talking about her fave autumnal fragrances. She acknowledges she's terrible at describing fragrances. So she tries to read the big words from the website. You're about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican Lydia.
- Ali is working in the garden on her flower beds. She feels like she's lost her sproots *marbles.
- She lisps she's paid the deposit on her greenhouse. Her sprootling dreams are coming true. She says she needs to deliver this veg trug to her husband from the kitchen to garden so he can build it for her until her real greenhouse arrives.
- She wants to get her bottom in front of the fire. It's cashmere time. Ali is still outside working on the flower beds. Standard for CinderAli. She states it's freezing, but it's not freezing, she says it's just her being extra as she's always extra. Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest? No seriously?
- She's taking 3 steps forward but 2 steps back with the gardening as the beds are wonky. She's done it on the cheap. Should have listened to that advice Lydia. Iβd really like to insult you, but no matter what I compare you to, you arenβt the thing being insulted. But you do you hun.
- She's making a very naughty cheesy risotto in the theramix. She can't be bothered to hunch over a pan. No vegetables. Obviously.
- She's getting into bed to watch David Attenborough. She's doesn't like the animals getting killed though. Let's ignore the leather jacket she's just advertised then.
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