Lydia Millen #31 got flopitis, wants everything Sage Green, but Globy's nowhere to be seen

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Hi all, first time poster but long time lurker. Just watched the vlog and it kinda hit me how Unglam she’s became, she used to have a bit of style and made an effort but I’ve just noticed how frumpy she has became. These long older lady dresses and ‘adventure braids’. I think lockdown has really gotten to her?!
 
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Aldi and lidl visiting cuntwolds bigots fanny mumblr,
Arseholes unite :poop::poop::poop:

By the way why don't she gift her free food to a local food bank, greedy cow. Smashing free pr mugs wow so cool... twit

Her friends are chavs that is what her and aldi are in the real form
 
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Vlog 'The Final Reveal' - She's finally transitioned fully into a woman.

- Yet another farmers hamper. She gloats it's stocked full. She wants to again highlight the ethics behind this. It helps create more jobs and get vegetables to the elderly. I know you may act and dress like a geriatric frump of a fossil, but STOP. TAKING. FREE. FOOD. IN. A. PANDEMIC. If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
- We see the pigeon poo veg trug. Again. She's kissing goodbye to the sprootling potties. She says she takes the sprootling life seriously. I say you're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
- She acknowledges to Ali, that one day when they're old and can't be bothered, they'll just have one vlogging channel. Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution Lydia.
- It made her laugh that so many were horrified she used her dress to wipe the paint spillage. That's because we have to buy our own clothes Lydia. You know with our actual money. If I literally had a pound for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
- Ali breaks the mug. Definitely on purpose. Only another three to go Ali 🙌🏽 She feels sick. I feel delighted.
- She's wearing her 'adventure braids' AKA Pippy Longstocking pigtails. She complains several times it's Ali's fault that she cannot straighten her hair, as he's had to turn off the electric to fit the outside lights. Due to recent cutbacks following Glóby flopitis, the light at the end of the tunnel has definitely been turned off.
- They actually went to see Josie and Charlie!!!! No footage though. Fraternising with the enemy. I like it. Ali and Josie sitting up a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G....
- She advises exciting things are happening recently. Spas and beauty salons have been given the go ahead to safely reopen. Honestly same girl. She was meant to be going to Sweden, but in her mindset 'she's not there yet'. Sweden don't want you anyway.
- She does this weird head wobble, at 12:20, it's worth a watch. Legit. I look at you Lydia sometimes though and think really is that the sperm that won.
- She has a very big box to get in to. 2020 is Espa's year apparently. Their packaging is now sustainable. She tells us she's not the saviour of the world, but she's all about small changes like using brands with sustainable packaging. Glóby who? My irony detector literally just exploded.
- The positivity range is one of her favourites. She acknowledges the energising range gives her a kick up the bum. I'd advise drinking the stuff then Lydia. By the litre.
- She's super excited to use the hair mask as she has problems with her scalp. If only you didn't have a penchant for scalp snacks. Also, because her hairdresser has frazzled her hair with 4 colour correcting attempts and it's breaking off. Try paying said hairdresser next time Lydia. She may then do a better job.
- Sad times as Espa didn't send her one of her favourite items. She's literally just been gifted 20 products. Let me break this down for you Lydia. If don't want me to call you an asshole. Don't act like an asshole.
- When she does that little heeee heeee heeee thing as in so there after she's finished talking. Do you ever really want to slap someone and shout mosquito? Yeah this is one of those moments.
- She's having a chilled evening. She needs to be up and ready early tomorrow, as she has a lot of stuff going on. Well lots of tradesmen are coming. So basically your job is opening the front door then Lydia? Don't let your mind wander out of said door. It's too small to be let out by itself.
- She found art intimidating at first, as she felt she wasn't allowed to be in the club. She's working on a collaboration with a real artist. She opens said prints and says oh wow and gazes at the pictures for what feels like hours, but she's not showing us. Some day you'll go far Lydia. And I hope you stay there.
- She informs she's been such a productive possum. She didn't vlog it. Wait for it. She's had another beauty clear out and reorganised her pyjama cupboard. She's also a hungry little moo moo so has baked potatoes in the oven. Okay now try this again Lydia, but use your big girl words.
- Here comes the long-awaited wee wee feature. She states if they had listened to her first, it would have been much easier to get it downstairs, but her husband likes to think he knows best. Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the bird is going to tit on the board and strut around like it won anyway. Lydia is the bird. For clarification.
- She acknowledges people think she can grow her own courgette. She's apprehensive. You fear success Lydia. You really have nothing to worry about.
- She's going to watch Zac Efron's new documentary. She says he's a big teddy bear. No, he's a man Lydia. He's evolved past puberty unlike Ali.
- She's leaving the vlog here, as it's been a very busy vlog. It's not. She literally begs for more subscribers, as they're having a good time over there. I agree everyone brings happiness to a place. Some when they enter. Some when they leave. Lydia you are most definitely the latter. Well apart from tattle entertainment purposes.
Irony detector 🤣🤣🤣

She’s really crap at plaiting her hair. I have thick, poofy hair like hers but jesus I’d never walk round with my lid looking like that. Let alone stick it on the Internet. Plait it against your head girl!
 
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Hi Tattlers

So as you're all aware, Glóby sold 6,000 tool kits in the first day. I've sent BoJo a little email, along with some life-affirming quotes obviously, to advise him that I'll allow beauty salons and spas to now reopen. I'm sure I'll continue to sell 6,000 units, maybe even more, each day, but I am one of life's takers givers. Unlike Amelia. Refusing to use my tool kit. Just another troll. She can't even keep a husband. And did you see her astrology jewellery line with Skinny Dip? What overpriced tat from China! Well I have an astrology life quote just for you, Amelia Liana. Twinkle twinkle jealous traitor. Mind your own business you lil' hater.

So along with his one branch to hang his nuts, I allowed Ali to have one night out with his friends, without me. Only for 37 minutes mind, and within this he had to check in with me every 7 minutes, mention his adoration of me in conversation every 3 minutes, and not look at any other boys girls though. Anyway, on the one day I didn't have a wild headache, I took myself and my 32C 38ZZ 28FF whatever boobs, down to the river with my marketing for dummies handbook. Thanks for the trespassing advice though, I really need to stop photoshopping my pictures, as if I go missing like Affiliate Lynx, they won't know what I look like to find me. Speaking of Lynx, it's been his 11 month anniversary. I went to put gifted flowers on the patch in the woodlands where I buried his body, planted the memorial tree after he got shot by the neighbour. It's also been lil' Princess Baby Lumi-Bear Lummy Poppet Moo-Moo Thumper's 6th birthday. I wonder if she's old enough for botox now? Ali spoilt her rotten. Not me. Her. I'm her cat mummy. I birthed her. And he dared to break one of my expensive mugs. Well let me tell you, you six toe fweedo, I'm no mug. I'm going to have to pour out all of his wardrobe fragrance and fill them with cat piss now.

You would have now all met my new PA - personal asshole. She gets to do all my crappy jobs. Like eat all the veg from the farmers hamper, delete all the meany moo comments and wash my icky intimissimi thongs. Have you seen Cawwee's new doggy-doo-doo also? Do you think if I throw it a stick, it'll leave? Cawwee belongs to me. She's clearly not read clause #875 in her contract. As you know I like to surround myself with beautiful things. Why do you think I want so many mirrors in the bungalow? I can only buy luxury too. I'm a sensitive moo moo. I can't sugar coat tit. I'm not Willy Wanka. Anyway I must dash, time is money, I'm craycray for paypay if you hadn't already noticed, plus I have to order another 57 linen dresses, choose 39 farrow and ball paints and repost 81 life quotes on the gram, all before close of play. I'm such a productive possum.

Love Lydia (Not everyone can be gifted an inspiring life like mine. But don't hate, just click on my affiliate link bait)
crying laughing... this is the best! Affiliate lynx! hahaha

Irony detector 🤣🤣🤣

She’s really crap at plaiting her hair. I have thick, poofy hair like hers but jesus I’d never walk round with my lid looking like that. Let alone stick it on the Internet. Plait it against your head girl!
Plus she acts like she cannot possibly put it in a pony tail like ERRR OTHER DAY
 
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WHYYYY is tidying your room, Hanging clothes up and putting jackets in the oven, SOMETHING SO AMAZING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
 
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WHYYYY is tidying your room, Hanging clothes up and putting jackets in the oven, SOMETHING SO AMAZING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
FFS give her a break, she has to spend 23 hours of the day lying down on her pancake ass being a boss babe. People are so jealous.
 
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And what the flip is she going to cook with bergamot and lemon balm???? M&S dine in for two fish cakes and salad????
 
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I think Lydia is trying to punish Carrie. That water ‘feature’ will be like Japanese water torture for whoever is working in the office. No wonder her highness works from the kitchen. If she’s murdered my moneys on Miss Cawieee, in the greenhouse, with a can of pigeon paint.
 
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Did anyone see the new vlog where one of Lydia's mugs (you know those crazy expensive French ones that she kept banging on about?) gets broken and Ali then hits it into the sink breaking it even more? I wouldn't even treat a £1 mug from Tesco like that.
Saw those mugs in Liberty today .....they looked liked decorative mugs .... like then rest of the range...very fine ...
My husband said they looked like something someone makes in pottery/ceramics class. Definitely not worth the money. And not for a tea of coffee drinker.
 
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First up, thanks to @Elle Belle for a brilliant and hilarious summary! Love it 😍

Lidl makes me crazy angry so it's nice to have a laugh!

Soooooo.....what do we make of the visit to Fashion Mumblr Josie then? Wonder who initiated it? The stalker or the stalkee?
My thoughts....
There is no way that they will ever be friends
They are using each other...Josie needed the subs
Josie will cringe at everything Lidl does and says, inc holding wine glasses, cutlery and manners in general
I can imagine Lidl's comments during the grand tour....talking about the bungalow ugh!
They will agree that they don't need interior designers as they are so stylish
The boys will bond and witch about the girls
The girls will agree they are boss witches
Lidl will be househunting when she realises what she doesn't have
The gardening obsession will get worse....

Also, I noticed that Lidl said she was obsessed with some interior designer instagrammer...looked her up and they are practically neighbours...like really....Milton Keynes area....somebody needs to warn her!
 
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I’M SORRY... But saying you’ve installed a water feature to help any wildlife that get stuck down the snobbed up fire-escape is beyond laughable.
 
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ALI quit using the word FRESH........ you sound like a moronic man child. You are a man in your 30's ffs
 
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