Vlog 'I've Wanted To Film This For A While' - Monday 20th July
- OMG a Glóby update. At long last. JK. Just another click-bait title.
- As we all know she's been battling with brain damage. Last night was the first she had without a headache. She was properly able to do content. When? We must have missed it.
- She's having a change up in office. Not decor. For once. But brands not sending her products, only followers with their letters and cards. Who this? Hold up. The world has realigned. Here comes all the PR.
- She advises she's got quite sensitive feet so can only purchase luxury. I would make a joke about your trotters Lydia, but I see you already beat me to it in your latest insta post.
- She gives us a shoe history of Northamptonshire. How do you know so much Lydia? Anyone would think this is where you live.
- She has verbal diarrhoea and informs 'it feels so wonderful'. God must have made you with his left hand. On a Monday. With a hangover.
- She highlights she's a customer of Churches. Not a paying one, just a customer. She says she's just lucky they've sent her some bits. 2 pairs of £350 slides are not what I would call bits.
- We finally get to see the Choos. They're 'bougie sprootlings' according to Lydia. So you're the reason we have warning labels on everything.
- She highlights the Intimissimi lingerie is not a paid partnership, but just before she said she's opening PR products. Here's a tissue Lydia. You have a little bullshit on your lip.
- She has an orgasm over the strapless bra. She tries it on. Then bends forward. Wow Lydia, you really lived up to your potential.
- She doesn't know what it is about her not liwearing low cut dresses. I do. It's your concave chest.
- She shows us her beige 'thongy thongs'. No wonder Ali stays away. Let's not hope he's a tosser and turner in bed. It's the only way they'll have a baby.
- She highlights she may slip up with the word nude. She shows us a purple slip and is delighted Intimissimi are catering for all skin tones. No-one has purple skin. Oh do you mean Barney?
- She's going to create a TikTok of her 'essential most essential wardrobe solutions'. It's really not essential Lydia. Trust me.
- She tells us she even needs to put slips under her Zimmerman dresses. I own a couple from this brand and I don't. That's because I'm not 70.
- Ali loves her silk pyjamas so she's stocked up. Wishful thinking, but I like a girl who tries. We get a close up of her sage pyjamas. She's acknowledges she's living her best life. Abracadabra nope you're still stupid.
- She advises we can buy from wherever we fancy. She likes these ones though. That's because they're free.
- She goes on a dog 'walky walk' with Cawwie and Paula. Who the
duck is Paula? Must be Cawwie's friend. Must be. Or Lydia's carer.
- She highlights if she could teach us all one lesson it would be not to throw our face masks on the floor. We should all use a bin. Is that where the remainder 97% of Glóby units are going Lydia? That first step of your high horse is gonna be a
witch. Tuck and roll.
- Whenever she leaves a social situation after lockdown she has a sore throat from all the chatting. Firstly, this proves she literally does not talk to Ali apart from barking orders. Secondly, a sore throat? Seriously? It gets worse. Far worse. She then puts a plaster on her cheek. For. A. Spot. This girl is a hypochondriac.
- She sees a 'poor little badgy'. She can't cope with all the dead aminals on the road. Sames. But I probably wouldn't emphasise this after showing 3 pairs of leather shoes. Just saying.
- It's 'baby girl Lumi bear's' birthday. It's also Lynx's 11 month anniversary. She acknowledges it's 'swings and roundabouts'. She really gave no shits about his disappearance. Oh apart from it allowing her 2 months off from making content. Obvs.
- She informs, at the age of 6, Lumi is still grumpy and spoilt. The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree does it Lydia?
- She's bedtime watering the sprootlings. Cawwie called one a weed. Honestly same girl.
- Absolutely none of this is new content. She just films what she's already posted on the gram. Same
tit different day. I don't think I can keep this up
I'm actually running out of words. Unless I learn to speak assholian.
She's using the St. Tropez mitt which is £4. You know the one that Lydia incorrectly alluded to as not being as sustainable, as hers do not contain single-use plastics