It’s your girl. That time of the week again, no not PMT, a new tattle thread. So as you all know, I’ve made the life-affirming decision to beg to have my boobs replaced. My fauxtique bust gave me such inspiration. So pert. So regal. Your home is an extension of yourself after all. Steve will be so proud. My old ones were such fun in Ibeefa days though, so good for holding tips. That’s why my tit gap is so prominent. I made so much money from all my sexy dance moves. But I’m now a lady of the manor you see. I’ve already upgraded my home, car, team and accent, so my boobs are obviously the next ‘natural’ progression.
It’s been a really deep week. Nearly as deep as Ali’s wet dreams of being balls deep in Dave. I’ve had so many important conversations early into the morning. Ali fell asleep though so it was just me talking to me. He’s such a lil’ slothy. I’ve ordered so many books too. Actual real books, not just blank paged ones. I’ll be able to display them so nicely in my Dior book tote. You didn’t actually think I was planning on reading them did you?! I’m back in my positive headspace now. Ali is so proud of how I’ve recovered from my failed launch disaster. Nearly as proud as when I learnt how to poop in the big girl’s potty. I’m still livid from when he dissed all my linen outfits and said he only gets horny in my sweaty leggings though. I can hardly affiliate link leggings my whole life can I? So I’ve cock blocked him by refusing to wear said leggings and go on a run all week. Plus it means I don’t have to wash myself. More time to order and open packages.
I bet you’ve all been thinking I’ve not been online shopping. I have, you silly moos. Black living rooms matter too. I’ve just been discreet. I didn’t want all my affiliate links to detract from the Black Lives Matter movement. I’m just trying to be the best white person to black people. I’m going to have to order more this week to make up for it. I’m aware I already have more tit than air in the bungalow, but it’s my mission to promote the economy and now black businesses too. BLM depends on it. BLM because ‘you’re worth it’. On that note, I ditched L’Oréal way before all this escalated. That was all me. I’m one of life’s natural excellers you see.
Good things happen to good people. My Grossie Josie voodoo doll I practice on during my bedtime routine every night, has finally payed off. Have you seen her scandal? I’ll share a little piece of my learning Josie - check yourself before you wreck yourself. Her tattle thread count is nearly catching up to mine. I’m still winning though obviously. She might have a house in the Cotswolds, but her career is in tatters thanks to tattle. Bye Felicia.
So it’s Launch Day soon. At long last. Just need to get one more vlog of how I’ve been the best white person to black people out, then Glóby’s good to go. It’s gonna go down. Maybe even crash the gram. Get all your orders in ASAP. It’s bound to sell out in 53 seconds or less.
It’s been a really deep week. Nearly as deep as Ali’s wet dreams of being balls deep in Dave. I’ve had so many important conversations early into the morning. Ali fell asleep though so it was just me talking to me. He’s such a lil’ slothy. I’ve ordered so many books too. Actual real books, not just blank paged ones. I’ll be able to display them so nicely in my Dior book tote. You didn’t actually think I was planning on reading them did you?! I’m back in my positive headspace now. Ali is so proud of how I’ve recovered from my failed launch disaster. Nearly as proud as when I learnt how to poop in the big girl’s potty. I’m still livid from when he dissed all my linen outfits and said he only gets horny in my sweaty leggings though. I can hardly affiliate link leggings my whole life can I? So I’ve cock blocked him by refusing to wear said leggings and go on a run all week. Plus it means I don’t have to wash myself. More time to order and open packages.
I bet you’ve all been thinking I’ve not been online shopping. I have, you silly moos. Black living rooms matter too. I’ve just been discreet. I didn’t want all my affiliate links to detract from the Black Lives Matter movement. I’m just trying to be the best white person to black people. I’m going to have to order more this week to make up for it. I’m aware I already have more tit than air in the bungalow, but it’s my mission to promote the economy and now black businesses too. BLM depends on it. BLM because ‘you’re worth it’. On that note, I ditched L’Oréal way before all this escalated. That was all me. I’m one of life’s natural excellers you see.
Good things happen to good people. My Grossie Josie voodoo doll I practice on during my bedtime routine every night, has finally payed off. Have you seen her scandal? I’ll share a little piece of my learning Josie - check yourself before you wreck yourself. Her tattle thread count is nearly catching up to mine. I’m still winning though obviously. She might have a house in the Cotswolds, but her career is in tatters thanks to tattle. Bye Felicia.
So it’s Launch Day soon. At long last. Just need to get one more vlog of how I’ve been the best white person to black people out, then Glóby’s good to go. It’s gonna go down. Maybe even crash the gram. Get all your orders in ASAP. It’s bound to sell out in 53 seconds or less.
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