I wonder if Letby was a big fan of medical dramas while she was growing up? Holby City, Greys Anatomy, Call the Midwife - was she always watching Casualty? Was she a House fan? Did she in her twisted, eternally adolescent mind which saw her litter her diary entries with love hearts around Doctor Dreamy's name, drive her to begin doing this?
She was constantly bored at work when there was no massive crisis occurring. She would complain to others on shift that it was "dull". Her word for there being a number of babies on the ward who were strong, getting well and being readied to go home. What sort of nurse is waiting with bated breath for a "busy" night when "busy" in their job means someone is suffering and at risk of death?
Her vision of nursing was not the dedicated, repeated quietly routine job. Truly good nursing is 99% skillful repetition of all the tasks needed to keep patients well. Cleaning, bathing, changing tubes, filling feeds, monitoring temps.
Not our Luce. No she needed alarms and buzzers and crash carts clattering down the hall. Someone shouting the Latin names for drugs, brave nurses rushing to fulfill the orders Tense vigils around the bed as the professional team watch those drugs administered. The relief, the cheering and applause you always get in those crap shows when the sinus rhythm starts up again. The wave of grief when all they see on the screen is the flat line. The compassionate delivery of bad news to families and parents. which somehow always makes the parents, even in this dark moment feel comfort and express their gratitude to the medicos for their immense caring.
Watch those medical shows. It's all go go go on them. Someone is always coding, someone is always grieving, there are always the brilliant, dedicated medicos there, saving the day and the patient. Or qurestioning their vocation when their Herculean efforts fail. Photogenic doctors' & nurses' eyes meet over defib paddles. They bond through shared grief and shared triumph. They say meaningful phrases to one another about the nature of loss and the need to carry on and finally, their fingers entwine, their dewy eyes meet... they kiss...
Was she writing her own demented soap opera?