- Notice
JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
Ooh, I’ve not had a thread title in ages!
Right, let’s see. The gruesome twosome kicked it off with ‘making it’ to Hampshire with that kid that lives with them, Leo, still asleep. Ryan prayed it stayed that way so lunch wasn’t ‘tricky’ and he got to saw his way through a charred to fuck steak, just how he likes it. In fact, burnt meat is the only constant in Ryan’s life at the moment, as we’ve seen many a great hobby become his sole purpose for getting up each morning fall spectacularly by the wayside when he is either too lazy to put the time in, fails to not be crap at it, or both. A brief, probably not conclusive, list:
- Skateboarding
- playing the guitar
- snowboarding
- surfing
- tennis
-weights
- reading
- being in the ‘wilds’ of SW London on a motorbike
- being a dad
- cooking
- whiskey
But fear not! A new, fledging hobby started to emerge and we all got SO excited. Turns out, Ryan had designs on illustrating and writing his OWN children’s book in manner of Quinton Blake or perhaps Tom Fletcher. He excitedly put up his designs on Instagram, and we immediately noticed how absolutely shit they were unless you were a year seven in IT skills in 1998 using clip art for the first time ever. EVEN BETTER it was exclusively revealed on Tattle that they were shamelessly ripped from YouTube ‘how to draw’ tutorials for kids. Ryan excitedly revealed he had a highland cow in the pipeline, but then Tiny Tears had to ruin it all by revealing that she DOES IN FACT have a stoma, which has been very carefully secreted away until she could showcase it for maximum engagement and to make people want to buy her book which has nothing to do with stomas. Since the big so long colon reveal Loopy has been on a high, living life to the full, getting three hair cuts a week and even taking Leo with her to watch. She’s even given the bag a cutesy name, Winnie, although I think someone has suggested she call it after a bloke and she basically volunteered ShitBagRyan. Wonder how the wedding plans are coming along?
They went on a #gifted family stay to the Four Seasons to eat jammy dodgers, Louise to show off her first time ever wearing a swimming costume (it wasn’t) and to exclaim she got wet going down a water slide (It’s really family friendly so sadly they had to take Leo with them)
Loopy has been quiet today because she’s been haunted by a Stanley cup, she’s on childcare duty for her own son and Ryan is doing a new hobby with a chargeable Kia in Wales and didn’t come back when he was supposed to (forgot to charge the Kia?)
Right, let’s see. The gruesome twosome kicked it off with ‘making it’ to Hampshire with that kid that lives with them, Leo, still asleep. Ryan prayed it stayed that way so lunch wasn’t ‘tricky’ and he got to saw his way through a charred to fuck steak, just how he likes it. In fact, burnt meat is the only constant in Ryan’s life at the moment, as we’ve seen many a great hobby become his sole purpose for getting up each morning fall spectacularly by the wayside when he is either too lazy to put the time in, fails to not be crap at it, or both. A brief, probably not conclusive, list:
- Skateboarding
- playing the guitar
- snowboarding
- surfing
- tennis
-weights
- reading
- being in the ‘wilds’ of SW London on a motorbike
- being a dad
- cooking
- whiskey
But fear not! A new, fledging hobby started to emerge and we all got SO excited. Turns out, Ryan had designs on illustrating and writing his OWN children’s book in manner of Quinton Blake or perhaps Tom Fletcher. He excitedly put up his designs on Instagram, and we immediately noticed how absolutely shit they were unless you were a year seven in IT skills in 1998 using clip art for the first time ever. EVEN BETTER it was exclusively revealed on Tattle that they were shamelessly ripped from YouTube ‘how to draw’ tutorials for kids. Ryan excitedly revealed he had a highland cow in the pipeline, but then Tiny Tears had to ruin it all by revealing that she DOES IN FACT have a stoma, which has been very carefully secreted away until she could showcase it for maximum engagement and to make people want to buy her book which has nothing to do with stomas. Since the big so long colon reveal Loopy has been on a high, living life to the full, getting three hair cuts a week and even taking Leo with her to watch. She’s even given the bag a cutesy name, Winnie, although I think someone has suggested she call it after a bloke and she basically volunteered ShitBagRyan. Wonder how the wedding plans are coming along?
They went on a #gifted family stay to the Four Seasons to eat jammy dodgers, Louise to show off her first time ever wearing a swimming costume (it wasn’t) and to exclaim she got wet going down a water slide (It’s really family friendly so sadly they had to take Leo with them)
Loopy has been quiet today because she’s been haunted by a Stanley cup, she’s on childcare duty for her own son and Ryan is doing a new hobby with a chargeable Kia in Wales and didn’t come back when he was supposed to (forgot to charge the Kia?)
Last edited:
JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
Here we go 
Attachments
JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
Oh goddammit I don’t get paid until the 30th, now I can’t buy any Edwardian schoolboy woollen cable knit shorts as I bet they’ll all sell out. Summer is RUINED.
Attachments
JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
To be fair we don’t reliably know what her face shape is
MuthaCuppa
Chatty Member
Couldn’t resist…
Attachments
jiggy_girl
VIP Member
I'm going to go out on a limb and say she's overdramatised this.
My birth went horrifically wrong and I was also “in the best shape of my life” when I became pregnant. I m left with complications and disabilities as a result.
My 2.5 year old son is the light of my world. And I would do it all again, day in day out, to see his smile.
She is a vile, selfish excuse of a mother and does not deserve that gorgeous boy.
My 2.5 year old son is the light of my world. And I would do it all again, day in day out, to see his smile.
She is a vile, selfish excuse of a mother and does not deserve that gorgeous boy.
The way she slates those who saved her life (I’m still skeptical though). As a nurse, I’m disgusted that my fellow NHS colleagues failed to stop mid procedure to give her a counselling session (“no one reassured us”)…how dare they prioritise delivering Leo safely over reassuring TT …who had Brian there to do that. I find it 99% likely to be lies that she was conscious….an emergency Csec is mostly done under GA….and the worst part? They were so incompetent that their hands were shaking …. Sorry that healthcare staff are human. Distress is usually not seen in theatre - emergency or otherwise - as everyone is delegated a role and a calm process is the best practice. But due to confidentiality, those staff present can’t actually counterclaim her lies.
Lying bitch was in the gym 4 hours later wasn’t she???
I had 14 staff at my twin birth, lots of worry, had a touch and go moment or two …. I thank every single person there for what they done!!! Not slate them!!! I can’t stand her. That poor little gorgeous boy, what a future he has with these jerks!!!
Lying bitch was in the gym 4 hours later wasn’t she???
I had 14 staff at my twin birth, lots of worry, had a touch and go moment or two …. I thank every single person there for what they done!!! Not slate them!!! I can’t stand her. That poor little gorgeous boy, what a future he has with these jerks!!!
crabupatree
Chatty Member
Did I read correctly that little newborn Leo was essentially hated by both his parents for being ‘too needy’ too fucking needy when he’s a newborn? Did they think he would come out as fully formed fucking adult and not need anything from them?
Normally people might have these thoughts and discuss in private or with family/friends/a therapist but for the sake of their child never put it out in the public domain where it will never be able to be erased.
Normally people might have these thoughts and discuss in private or with family/friends/a therapist but for the sake of their child never put it out in the public domain where it will never be able to be erased.
Bigtreelittetree
New member
Maybe an unpopular opinion but why do we need to know all the ways in which birth can go wrong? it's so different for everyone and completely unpredictable, it's never going to be a fun day out and the amount of medical protection around does make it scary, but the overwhelming majority are totally fine, even when it goes "wrong".
Influencers seem obsessed with who has the worst birth and scares people unnecessarily.
Influencers seem obsessed with who has the worst birth and scares people unnecessarily.
JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
As if the medical staff were shaking, unless they popped down to the lecture room and got a group of students to come and help out for the experience. She makes it sound like she was in a field hospital after being hauled off a battlefield in 1914.
windowlickinggood
Well-known member
‘The softest dough eyes’….. Is the boy made out of pizza?!?!
You mean DOE eyes Louse, as in a deer. Such a wasted education.
Hannahc546
VIP Member
Maybe he can't do the helmet up because of the chin?
JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
Oh my god how is this the EDIT that made it into a book? It reads terribly, it’s all over the place! It’s basically like writing ‘I was walking down the road one day as the main breadwinner, and I thought back to how I couldn’t love my dog. Then I arrived at the shop and thought I might buy some mangoes’. It’s nonsensical. It reminds me of a year 5’s diary about what they did at the weekend.
Last edited:
Bluemoon676
Chatty Member
The secondary haemorrhage at home must have been very scary. The thing I don't understand is why she kept the actual birth so cloak and dagger? We knew about the secondary haemorrhage but not birth.
The actual birth is very similar to mine.
My babies have all been 95-99th centile and I'm not very tall! I'm also not very fit at all but hey I did manage to survive.
Ended up with an emergency section cause the babies head got stuck, I lost 4L of blood because my uterus tore during delivery. I only detected mild panic once from the midwife when the bloods for transfusion got held up. I was operated on for around 3 and a half hours (awake). I did keep asking for reassurance but I also understood that everyone around me was working on stopping the bleeding etc!!
So all very similar. And I'm sure happens to lots of women.
The language she uses though - that she medics had obliterated her, and savaged her.
The actual birth is very similar to mine.
My babies have all been 95-99th centile and I'm not very tall! I'm also not very fit at all but hey I did manage to survive.
Ended up with an emergency section cause the babies head got stuck, I lost 4L of blood because my uterus tore during delivery. I only detected mild panic once from the midwife when the bloods for transfusion got held up. I was operated on for around 3 and a half hours (awake). I did keep asking for reassurance but I also understood that everyone around me was working on stopping the bleeding etc!!
So all very similar. And I'm sure happens to lots of women.
The language she uses though - that she medics had obliterated her, and savaged her.