Credit to MEEEEEEE (
@LadyLockdown ) for the thread title. No apologies - I have no shame and measure my success purely by thread titles. Could be worse. Could be by handbags and face creams.
Anyhooo......
Lorna
-Lies constantly, pretty much anything she says is questionable
-Edits her photos within an inch of their life to make herself appear thinner
-Uses filters on her story videos. Tattlers spotted background warping and she was called out for it by CelebFace. Never addressed by Lorna and continues to use filters
-Doesn’t upload stories in real time
-Whenever her follower count is dwindling does a giveaway or buys followers
-Favourite beauty/make up products are whatever brands are paying her at the time
-Constantly pushing her flammable & unsustainable clothing collection with In The Style and responds to any complaints regarding quality, delivery and refunds via Twitter with passive aggressiveness
-Blocks anyone who questions her (blocked individuals are referred to as A-Blocked on tattle)
-Hardly ever declares gifts or ads. Reported many times to ASA. Seems to have stepped up her game since being called out by @Suxy who also created an Instagram page dedicated to her lies and abominable photo editing
-Says she hasn’t had any face fillers for over 2 years but puncture holes on the lips have recently been spied
-Pretends to be empathetic towards current affairs and world disasters when it suits her but has shown little regard for the covid pandemic because it’s just an inconvenience that she would prefer to ignore
-Poor Boo the dog is often carted off to god knows where while they go on trips presumably paid for by In The Style.
-Claims she has an English Literature degree from a Newcastle university which is highly questionable
-Eats at a handful of restaurants in London, suspected she backhands Cecconis for use of their toilets as a changing room when she ‘shoots’ on Bond Street
John aka Mr Luxe
Also referred to on Tattle as
OAP-Old Age Pensioner
OM-Old Mahogany (due to the depth of his tan)
OMR- Old Mahogany Raisin
The Raisin
Creosote King
Elton John
Whipping Boy
His position within HSBC is questionable due to them openly flaunting their lifestyle on social media and the amount of time he actually spends (or doesn’t spend) working.
She cheated on John and had an ongoing relationship around 2017/2018. Duration AND gender unknown at this stage as it’s thought she may have had a bisexual affair. Tea has been shared via former friends who say she was away with her fancy man/lady the night before Mr Luxe had arranged and called off a birthday brunch for his princess after she failed to appear. It was after this that the Luxe’s seemingly perfect marriage started showing up on Instagram along with a lot more Chanel and Cartier.
The Manor House
Well there is no Manor House
Horsham Heights (HH) is a 2 bed flat situated within lush grounds in Horsham shared by a number of other flats.
She claims herself and John bought the property together shortly after they met but it’s been proven there were no flats sold around this time so most likely owned by John himself and he moved her in.
Fellow tattler
@Jasmine is Johns ex wife who has confirmed much of the above.
Previously.... The old and the grubby (avec nouveau fringe) bobbed on a plane to
relocate stay in le Bristol during the continuing pandemic but it's ok as apparently it's a "business opportunity". Not sure what the biz is. Seen 3
tit coats that even Ali Express don't appear to be stocking and a diarrhoea coloured A/W dress that you wouldn't be buried in let alone be seen alive in even in the dark, winter months when you're not going anywhere because of a PANDEMIC but anyway ...
When not on "business" goes to the same restaurants, drinks the same wine, takes pictures of the same food with the same
tit comments, the same car trips, to the same places, to take the same pictures of the same
tit clothes in a different colour. YAWNNNNN-A.
Released a godawful SKY AD reel and promoted her 0.1 millisecond silent extra part in Riviera to "paid in Rose" acting work and more reels are appearing that seem to be fuelled by day drinking as it can be the only reason for the off the scale levels of cringe.
Finally got her (wrong) Hermes bag and now wants the "real deal". Who really knows how they got the bag, if OMR really went to the store or if it was delivered to the hotel and how much was paid for the bag but we can be sure the repayment to OMR was far "more spenny".
Not content (is she ever??) with staying in a hotel in the centre of Paris, ol' Yawna decided to photoshop the Eiffel Tower into her breakfast pictures because ... well who knows why ... but anyone brave enough to mention it in the comments found their comments also photoshopped via the delete button - wonder why
Hopefully, this covers everything but on a personal note, I'd just like to say I hope she'll
duck off soon and quarantine herself in an underground bunker on the moon or something.
If she's still here in December, nevermind COVID, that'll be my
bleeping Christmas ruined.
bleep.
Continuez s'il vous plaît
x
.......Can we please make a very special request for you to use your talents on Lorna's Loony Reel from yesterday. We thought the mad Benny Hill theme tune would go well with it, unless you can think of anything better? Can you also please do something with a pause at the bit where she looks behind herself like a panto character?
