Loneliness / making friends

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I find it hard to keep friends I feel like I do the running around to keep them I.e go see them in their village, do things they want to do change my plans so in free when they are free. Sometimes they cancel or I wonder why I bother when I dont get a message back for weeks. I dont do facebook etc because I dont feel the need to see people's lives I rather be apart of it than see a photo. I am lonely most of time.
 
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My best mate in my daughter's best friends dad! The girls have been friends since preschool, so me and him have ended up spending nearly every day together for the last 2 years, we are both happily married and our spouses get on really well too and we will often go out as a foursome.

I'm based in Hampshire if anyone else is and ever wants to meet for a cuppa, I have 7 year old son and 4 year old daughter
I've always been able to get on with men so much easier than women!

I am In Dorset if anyone is near , but I can travel a little (I usually take myself off places by myself when little ones at school)

I find small talk so boring and unnecessary
This
I'm always telling my boyfriend this when he texts me....... How was your day /how are you 😂 and he tells me I'm rude

I find it hard to keep friends I feel like I do the running around to keep them I.e go see them in their village, do things they want to do change my plans so in free when they are free. Sometimes they cancel or I wonder why I bother when I dont get a message back for weeks. I dont do facebook etc because I dont feel the need to see people's lives I rather be apart of it than see a photo. I am lonely most of time.
😏 I don't do Facebook either for this reason. I feel like most people now live thier entire lives through Facebook or social media and it's replaced actually meeting up etc . We all have busy lives sometimes but it's a two way street isn't it , not nice when it's once sided I've been there and got that t-shirt
 
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I’m the same. I’m 30 and growing up I only had two very best friends (friends throughout school etc). I’ve had various other friends through different parts of my life but couldn’t keep them due to a multitude of reasons - I’m an introvert, I need my space and I also have depression and anxiety. I’m also the first of the three to have children. Since then, we have completely drifted. I don’t see them or hear from them and we have absolutely nothing in common anymore. I’m also a stay at home mum and have lost contact with ex colleagues that I used to get on well with.

I feel so isolated and out of my depth when it comes to making friends. Some days I’m fine with it, then on others I feel desperately lonely (my husband works full time). My eldest son has autism and we’re not sure about the youngest yet, so I have struggled with making mum friends. I tried parent and child groups but spent most of my time trying to engage my son that I didn’t really connect with anyone. Also, I found them cliquey.

I have no advice, just wanted to say that I know how it feels x
 
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I've always been able to get on with men so much easier than women!

I am In Dorset if anyone is near , but I can travel a little (I usually take myself off places by myself when little ones at school)



This
I'm always telling my boyfriend this when he texts me....... How was your day /how are you 😂 and he tells me I'm rude



😏 I don't do Facebook either for this reason. I feel like most people now live thier entire lives through Facebook or social media and it's replaced actually meeting up etc . We all have busy lives sometimes but it's a two way street isn't it , not nice when it's once sided I've been there and got that t-shirt
I got abit depressed with Facebook when friends were always too busy to plan something with me but managed to met up with someone else and plaster it all over social media. I wasnt jealous but I was really low need friends not to get the on comment on a photo that we should met up..but never made real plans.

Plus I've learnt of a really good friend I've kept for 30years that people only post what they want you to see on social media not that it was a tit night that everyone spent it taking photos or messaging others
 
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I got abit depressed with Facebook when friends were always too busy to plan something with me but managed to met up with someone else and plaster it all over social media. I wasnt jealous but I was really low need friends not to get the on comment on a photo that we should met up..but never made real plans.

Plus I've learnt of a really good friend I've kept for 30years that people only post what they want you to see on social media not that it was a tit night that everyone spent it taking photos or messaging others
Yes , it's the whole keeping up appearances thing , I can't stand it either
 
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I'm glad you started this thread Princesspinky cause it seems your not the only one who feels lonely and needs some new friends. People just assume everyone has friends but as this thread has shown its not always the case.
 
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I can relate to lots of things on here. Had friends at school and in my early 20s but seem to drift apart and out of contact with people. I have a couple of close ish friends now and see each other every few months.
It does get to me, I have no plans to get married any time soon but even things like who would my bridesmaids be? I think about that sometimes.

I moved to a new town and used Bumble. It's a dating app but you can select a Friendship option to meet other people
 
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I can relate to lots of things on here. Had friends at school and in my early 20s but seem to drift apart and out of contact with people. I have a couple of close ish friends now and see each other every few months.
It does get to me, I have no plans to get married any time soon but even things like who would my bridesmaids be? I think about that sometimes.

I moved to a new town and used Bumble. It's a dating app but you can select a Friendship option to meet other people
I eloped with my now husband when we were in Vegas for my birthday last year. Solved the problem of bridesmaids, etc.

I just feel so disconnected from the people on my Facebook, I barely use it now. I hardly even see family anymore too. We don’t all live close to each other so only see one another at family functions etc. I visit with my grandmother a lot as we’re very close, but my kids are wild so the visits are much shorter than they used to be as I can’t relax.

The trouble is, everyone has their lives and is busy, I’m very aware of that. People have jobs, they want to spend their time with their family when they have it. It’s tricky.
 
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I struggle to keep female friends. I moved over 600 miles from home and lost contact with everyone. I can’t seem to make new friends. I say really inappropriate things as well because I’m nervous or I just avoid them to be honest I don’t like new people at all really so I’m not exactly missing out I guess.

I joined a local club last year and I’ve found talking to other adults with the same interests is just as good so maybe try that?
 
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I don’t really have any friends and I don’t have social anxiety, I’m actually very friendly and chatty!

I struggled with it at first but as I’m getting older I actually enjoy my independence and that my time is my own. I used to get really down about it thinking that I must be some sort of horrible person & that’s why people don’t befriend me but the truth is everyone is majorly busy and has their own tit going on.

I find it helps to stop expecting people to invite you places, if you’re the brave one and take the first step & ask a mum friend or whatever for a coffee they will more than likely say yes! Also think about what level of friendship you have the energy for, do you message people back promptly? Do you flake on them? Are you available for regular chats/hangouts? If not that’s fine, you might not actually have space in your life for tons of friends (I know I don’t!)
 
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I'm glad you started this thread Princesspinky cause it seems your not the only one who feels lonely and needs some new friends. People just assume everyone has friends but as this thread has shown its not always the case.
🙂 So am I , I hope there was a way we could support each other
 
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Same boat here. Had lots of friends until early 30's but drifted with most and moved a bit away from home town. Been here 5 years and have a few people who I chat to if I see them. Have tried to arrange meet ups but never really works out. Have 2 young children and husband works away for weeks at a time so mostly alone. Often think if I dropped dead some day it would be a while before anyone noticed which is scary for my children. I'm ok with being alone most of the time but ya it does get me down. Often think there is something wrong with me that I can't make friends, must be a terrible person. It also makes me ashamed that at my age I have nobody besides my husband. I feel a burden on him and I often lie if people ask what I am doing on big occasions like birthdays or Christmas etc. I pretend I have plans. Birthday looming again and another reminder that I am friendless.
 
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Same boat here. Had lots of friends until early 30's but drifted with most and moved a bit away from home town. Been here 5 years and have a few people who I chat to if I see them. Have tried to arrange meet ups but never really works out. Have 2 young children and husband works away for weeks at a time so mostly alone. Often think if I dropped dead some day it would be a while before anyone noticed which is scary for my children. I'm ok with being alone most of the time but ya it does get me down. Often think there is something wrong with me that I can't make friends, must be a terrible person. It also makes me ashamed that at my age I have nobody besides my husband. I feel a burden on him and I often lie if people ask what I am doing on big occasions like birthdays or Christmas etc. I pretend I have plans. Birthday looming again and another reminder that I am friendless.
I feel the same , I was with my ex husband for 13 years before he left , and he was really all I had untill I met a very close friend when my son started school.
I was just thinking today , who the hell would I put down as my next of kin as my mum's elderly and miles away , and I don't think I'm quite at that stage with my boyfriend so basically I'm on my own 🙄 which is a very scary thought 😞
 
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I spend most of my time on my own too 😔 say hello to mum's on the school run and at my girls dance class and that's the only adult interaction I have.
 
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I feel the same , I was with my ex husband for 13 years before he left , and he was really all I had untill I met a very close friend when my son started school.
I was just thinking today , who the hell would I put down as my next of kin as my mum's elderly and miles away , and I don't think I'm quite at that stage with my boyfriend so basically I'm on my own 🙄 which is a very scary thought 😞
It makes me feel a bit better that I am not the only one who feels like this. Even though I am sorry anyone else has to be lonely. And also I read somewhere that loneliness is a silent killer. That it is so unhealthy for us it can make us sick. Which just makes me feel even better as you can imagine. I just hope my 2 girls grow up and manage friendships better than I have but I am afraid I don't have the skills to teach them how.

Sometimes it's been so long since I have spoken to anyone when I do, I get really embarrassed for no reason. Just self conscious I suppose and I stumble over my words.
 
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I was sat on NYE feeling like this. I have a few friends but I barely see them, and with some I’ve been feeling that there’s no future. We’re just friends because we’ve known each other so long.
I had my daughter when I was 19. She’s almost 12. My friends are all starting to just have kids
I decided to be proactive, I’m going to a bounce back to netball group on Monday and a run club on Wed.
I’m hoping I’ll make some new friends there.
I go for lunch now and again with a school mum.

I had a 30th and of it wasn’t for my large family, the room would be empty.
I’d love to have a big girly night out. Just doesn’t happen. I sit at home with my husband and kid.
 
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I was sat on NYE feeling like this. I have a few friends but I barely see them, and with some I’ve been feeling that there’s no future. We’re just friends because we’ve known each other so long.
I had my daughter when I was 19. She’s almost 12. My friends are all starting to just have kids
I decided to be proactive, I’m going to a bounce back to netball group on Monday and a run club on Wed.
I’m hoping I’ll make some new friends there.
I go for lunch now and again with a school mum.

I had a 30th and of it wasn’t for my large family, the room would be empty.
I’d love to have a big girly night out. Just doesn’t happen. I sit at home with my husband and kid.
I joined crossfit and hopefully will meet some people there. It just feels like everyone has their friends already if that makes sense? I used to look at the instamum brigade and think well they all.met each other and seem great friends, women supporting women and all that bullshit. 🙄
 
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I’ve rejoined the gym. I used to go all the time after my first baby but stopped when I found out I was pregnant with second and piled on the weight since. I doubt I’ll make friends but it will at least give me an hour out of my day to work on myself.
 
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I’ve rejoined the gym. I used to go all the time after my first baby but stopped when I found out I was pregnant with second and piled on the weight since. I doubt I’ll make friends but it will at least give me an hour out of my day to work on myself.
Ya it does that for me, some headspace.
 
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I don't think I have it in me to join a gym 😶 I'm far far too self conscious , but I do want to go out walking again . I used to walk loads before I had my son and when he was small in his pram or his trike. Probably not going to meet anyone that way though so it will be another alone venture
 
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