Lockdown has changed my relationship

New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
how are you managing considering you live together?
sending hugs hope you're okay 🤍
It's soooo awkward. I just want to move on and get my space but I can't. Viewings are tricky as if the property is tenanted, you can't view it due to Covid. I'm just chugging on and trying not to get too overwhelmed
 
Reactions: 8
It's soooo awkward. I just want to move on and get my space but I can't. Viewings are tricky as if the property is tenanted, you can't view it due to Covid. I'm just chugging on and trying not to get too overwhelmed
i can only imagine, for me it's awkward when we get into a fight let alone if we broke up.
just tell yourself you were brave enough to make a right decision for yourself and soon you'll be looking back on it feeling proud
 
Reactions: 5
i can only imagine, for me it's awkward when we get into a fight let alone if we broke up.
just tell yourself you were brave enough to make a right decision for yourself and soon you'll be looking back on it feeling proud
Ah I feel for you I hope you manage to work it all out x

And thank you for your kind words
 
Reactions: 3
I know this thread is dead now but... I am officially living in my own place after my breakup!
 
Reactions: 19
How are you finding it, are you ok?
I love it. I have so much space, I can do things on my own schedule, don't have to answer to anyone... Not trying to slag off my ex here, and obviously had good times with him when we were together, but being here has reinforced the fact I made the right decision to leave which is the biggest relief of all tbh
 
Reactions: 15
That’s amazing I’m so happy for you.
 
Reactions: 3
That’s so nice to hear. Sounds like you made the right decision.
I’m hoping that the easing of lockdown will help our relationship. We’ve been married for 23 years this year. Together for 26. But lockdown has changed the way I feel about him.
move continued to work two jobs throughout and he was furloughed at one point and then back-part time and still part time now. He moaned about being furloughed and I suggested he got an additional job and said think of the money. The supermarket I work at had plenty of jobs going but he didn’t even apply. Then my other job was looking for people to come in and do a bit of diy and again he refused.
he just has no get up and go. He expects things tk be handed to him. We had discussions about what he would do if his job never got back to full time as once furlough payments end he’ll be on part time wages for however many hours he works.
I work full time Monday to Friday. Then second job every Saturday and every other Sunday. I suggested today that I ask to work two evenings a week instead so 6-10pm which would mean weekend free and I would not have to start work at 2am and he said he’s used to me working weekends now so why change it? Why change it?? I’m exhausted and feel it ruins our weekends. My children are older now, the youngest just turned 15 and she makes comments about food you’re always working never at home. Well yes that’s right as someone needs to be.
It’s just not how I thought a marriage would be never thought I’d be the one making sure that we had everything we need and making sure we have money for fun stuff. I begrudge buying him things as well as I feel he doesn’t deserve them. I get comments about make up and clothes but I’m working! He has a uniform.
Sorry to derail from your happy news. I guess it’s been weighing on my mind.
 
Reactions: 15
This is what this thread is about so please don't apologise. We all have our own lives and please don't feel you derailed the thread or anything.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I'm only 23 myself so can't comment on a relationship that long but I hope someone else can weigh in. It sounds like a nightmare though so here are some virtual hugs
 
Reactions: 5
Thank you @alwayslurkin that makes me feel old, my son is 23. Turns 24 in July

my husband is almost ten years older than me and whilst I think that probably seemed exciting when I was younger now he’s 10 years older than me when I’m 44 it doesn’t seem so exciting.
 
Reactions: 5
Please don’t apologise @Bumblebee. I can actually relate to you a bit. My husband got furloughed too while I could/can work from home so I got “it’s ok for you you’re still working” thrown at me a lot, and a tiny thing would end up in an argument.

In the end I went and stayed at my grandads for a couple of weeks, it wasn’t a magic cure but it helped massively.

Could you speak to him at all? I know men are masters at shutting things down and explain how you’re feeling?

I’m sorry I’m not much use on the advice front I’m sending you all the love in the world. This thread and people commenting helped me because it was nice to hear I wasn’t alone and offered advice, I hope it can do the same for you.
 
Reactions: 3
I don’t know what to do about my partner. Over lockdown he has become very isolated from everyone and now it’s almost like he can’t bring himself to see anybody. He doesn’t even like leaving the house to go for a walk. He doesn’t keep in touch with any friends and I can’t persuade him to join me in anything that involves leaving the house or other people. It’s like some sort of weird lockdown induced agoraphobia! If I mention it I get told to drop it and to stop nagging him I just wish for once he would want to plan something with me, if I suggest things I get shot down.
 
Reactions: 3
Would he go with you somewhere with you in a car like a drive thru coffee or some food? Set off with small things.
I have actually heard a few people say of family members that have developed a bit of a phobia about leaving the house.
 
Reactions: 2
Maybe reduce your hours anyway, if it's feasible Restrictions are easing , you can get some social time .
 
In the end I went and stayed at my grandads for a couple of weeks, it wasn’t a magic cure but it helped massively.
This sentence aged well, we’re getting divorced . I feel strange I thought I’d be and probably should be heartbroken and crying into my cornflakes but I actually feel happy, it feels like something has lifted.

I think as much as the time apart for us papered over the cracks, it also made me realise that I could be happy on my own and that we’re different people to the ones we were six years ago.
 
Reactions: 15
sending you virtual love. I'm glad you've worked out what is right for the both of you even if it is a divorce
 
Reactions: 1
I’m so sorry to read how unhappy some of you have been and how difficult things have been for you. To those of you that have made big decisions to end relationships/fly solo I’m really happy for you that you’ve managed to do what’s best for you!

A lot of your posts could have been written by me! Pre-pandemic my boyfriend had a really healthy social life (heavily centred around him working in the city). I work away so we only used to see each other once a week max (we didn’t live together before).
Now that we do live together and social lives have been non existent and I’ve been away less and less our whole relationship has changed.
I’m someone that loves my own company and really needs my own space whereas he’s the complete opposite.
I know I love him and our life together as when I’m away I’m always excited to come home to him but at the same time I find myself really resenting the fact he’s always around.
I’ve also had zero interest in sex really whereas he seems to want it all. The. Time. Which is something else I’m worrying about. The times where I do feel like having sex by the time it gets to it he’s usually done something to annoy me or I’ve gone off it again and I’m starting to worry that I’m just not attracted to him anymore.
We don’t have kids or anything (just a dog) so I’m not scared of starting again I’m just worried I’d be making the wrong decision based on things happening in a pandemic and not “real life” if you know what I mean.
We’ve recently been seriously talking about getting engaged/married and whilst I want to be with him forever I’m so worried about how I’m feeling at the moment that I’m not sure it’s the right thing.

I’ve spoken to him about the sex thing and he’s been very understanding and I’ve also mentioned the fact I like being on my own every now and again and his suggestion is that I go and stay with my parents for a few days. But at the same time I don’t want to break the rules and I also think that’s only a short term solution.
I just want our old lives back.

Sorry I feel like I just needed to offload to people that have been having similar feelings.
 
Reactions: 7
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I’m probably not the person to be giving advice given my current situation, however it does sound like time apart might be helpful for you. At the very least you’ll get some time to yourself.
 
Reactions: 1