When Lord Nelson was returning to Lady Hamilton after a spell at sea, he would send a message ahead asking her to "prepare the dear little thatched cottage for my return".Also ‘entering her cottage’ sounds like a euphemism to me. In context, more like she showed him the gates of Hell, albeit ‘billiard ball smooth’
Liz Jones #2 Nobody puts the Myla Thong in a corner!
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Yes it was difficult to understand what she was saying, was she sick, did she tit herself..who knows but it was a rather disturbing read whatever the heck it was about. Highly doubt comments will be allowed though would be awesome if they were.
I haven't looked at the podcast cuz I'm busy with upcoming wedding but ffs! She is so transparent. You know when you want to call in sick to work and the standard advice is to say it's diarrhoea, or menstrual problems or something that sounds gross so people won't ask questions? That's what she's doing ...
Thread title suggestion: Doubly incontinent, like her collies
Thread title suggestion: Doubly incontinent, like her collies
Maybe this delightful revelation could finally send her most ardent admirer Dorset Nige running for the hills!
although I still cannot work out if he is genuine or taking the pee.
although I still cannot work out if he is genuine or taking the pee.
I have finally worked out who the FRS is…based on the fact he said she looked ‘lovely’ and ‘young’ (before she shat her Myla thong)
Liz has unsuccessfully tried to throw us off the scent by withholding that he’s actually a soul/Motown artist.
WTAF
She is actually paid to write this utter bollocks?
She is actually paid to write this utter bollocks?
New thread name? (sorry I don’t know how you do this!)
The fake rock star proclaimed she looked lovely and young, but then she soiled her Myla thong
The fake rock star proclaimed she looked lovely and young, but then she soiled her Myla thong
In the podcast she claims she wiped it with a napkin and left it there for someone else to clean. So apparently the FRS didn't see or smell that, yet she still lingered by the lavender on the way home
Funny, I use "drawers" all the time. And sometimes "bloomers." Far preferable to knickers or pants.Bloody Hell @Origen - how a common turn of phrase turns out to be spookily accurate. Can you give me tonight’s lottery numbers please?
Of all the lows, I have never in my wildest imaginings, thought I’d see LJ confess to the world she’d shat her drawers
Standing next to lavender would make no difference at all unless she was crushing the stems to release the fragrance. Which she undoubtedly wasn't.
I'd say it was the admission/claim of shitting they were surprised by, rather than the use of the term "drawers"!
I feel like she's lying about this tbh. Surely even Liz wouldn't publicly tit herself and immediately think Charlotte from SATC? No, this is another crudely drawn character from one of her terrible books nobody would agree to publish, the scenario borrowed to spice up her account of what is actually a celibate, dog-pissy life.
That and the fact the FRS doesn't exist. I suppose she thinks it's edgy and "real" - like the ghastly scene she references in Bridesmaids
She’s actually written a whole column about shitting herself? This has to be the absolute bottom of the barrel, surely. Dear god.
Yes, I understand that "drawers" was just an incidental word. I'm not Missing The Point. But you don't hear often that word, though, hence my comment.
"Drawers" suggests huge control pants or frilly pantaloons, which Liz would never wear; only the Myla Thong graces her extreme wax
I work in a bookies in a town populated by junkies and alkies and trust me, when one lets go a load, you can smell it, even on the other side of the bandit screen. I call, er, bullshit.
Legit Lizardlogic: "My dogs tit everywhere and women do it in FILMS so I can do it too. Let some chippy giant teenager clean up after me #MirandaPriestlyMoment"
WTF is her editor doing?She’s actually written a whole column about shitting herself? This has to be the absolute bottom of the barrel, surely. Dear god.
There must be dozens of talented young writers looking for a break that must weep when they see this sort of rubbish week after week
Don't forget the navy school knickers she wore for the phone sex
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Agree with everyone. This is a new low, even by her appalling standards. Amazing how some will humiliate themselves for a bit of coin.
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