Lily Pebbles

[Jungfru]

People tell you how hard life with children is, but few go into detail of life with a newborn, which is a completely different ballgame. She is being quite candid about the small , ahem, tortures of newborns, and that is something I have barely seen on Instagram: weight loss, difficulty to feed, mastitis, cracking nipples, isolation, night wakings, constantly changing nappies, outfit changes due to seepage, weekly visits to HV..... it is lethal.
Gosh I have ptsd from all of it. Lolz

 

[Zbear11]

I am stuck on this one because whilst a newborn is hard, and nothing prepares you for it, I feel like yes - it’s hard lily but she still has that air of whinge about it all.

Compare her to Stacy Solomon who’s account of breastfeeding/newborn hormones is SO relatable and you feel for her! There’s no whinge at all.

With lily, she just has this air of entitlement I can’t get over

 

[Juliet]

I am stuck on this one because whilst a newborn is hard, and nothing prepares you for it, I feel like yes - it’s hard lily but she still has that air of whinge about it all.

Compare her to Stacy Solomon who’s account of breastfeeding/newborn hormones is SO relatable and you feel for her! There’s no whinge at all.

With lily, she just has this air of entitlement I can’t get over

Stacey Solomon’s already done it twice before. I totally get how Lily’s feeling.

 

[Tatvam]

Stacey Solomon’s already done it twice before. I totally get how Lily’s feeling.

Exactly! You can't compare the two

 

[cccccccmmmmmmmmm]

Yeah, I'd much rather see an honest account of how bloody awful the first few weeks/months of having a newborn can be than be forcefed how perfect everything is by the likes of Fopperholic.

 

[CatHun]

It can do, you have swelling and fluid around the scar site, it may be limiting how active you are as you recover. Her baby is what, 3 weeks old? Let’s not shame her for not being back in her pre pregnancy clothes, lots of women aren’t! Variations of normal.

I’m not shaming her for it, I was very surprised how quickly my stomach went down. I’d expected months of wearing my maternity clothes and even bought more before the end of my pregnancy.
It’s a genuine question because I didn’t have a section and don’t really know anyone close who has. I don’t really know what the recovery entails

 

[Zbear11]

Exactly! You can't compare the two

Stacey Solomon had kids who are much older and like she said herself, she can barley remember anything she did before. It’s not as if she’s got a two year old. There’s a very clear difference between the two.

Bowing out of this thread now!

 

[Juliet]

It doesn’t matter - Stacey’s not a first time mum. She has 2 boys and has been a mother since she was what? 17 or 18? She knows what it’s like to have your whole life revolve around somebody else. This is brand new to Lily. Definately not the same situation so you can’t compare the two.

 

[Yoyolady]

Because everyone’s different and every baby is different. I thought I knew how hard it was going to be and yet it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Seeing other people have babies and talking about what it’s like is nothing like doing it yourself.

My point i
I think having Grey has really grounded Lily.

Stacey Solomon had kids who are much older and like she said herself, she can barley remember anything she did before. It’s not as if she’s got a two year old. There’s a very clear difference between the two.

Bowing out of this thread now!

I’m with you here. Lily ha sisters she is close to with plenty of nieces and nephews. It goes to show that she paid NO attention when they were newborn and how bloody tough it must have been for her sisters. Stacey talks about the difficulties but to be real, not to moan.

 

[SunshineSally]

I’m with you here. Lily ha sisters she is close to with plenty of nieces and nephews. It goes to show that she paid NO attention when they were newborn and how bloody tough it must have been for her sisters. Stacey talks about the difficulties but to be real, not to moan.

That's really harsh. Having nieces and nephews does not prepare you for the early days at all. You need to have a newborn to fully appreciate how tough it can be. My son is almost 6 and I didn't have a chuffing clue when he was handed over to me despite having nieces and nephews and working with young children

 

[bexgreen1983]

That's really harsh. Having nieces and nephews does not prepare you for the early days at all. You need to have a newborn to fully appreciate how tough it can be. My son is almost 6 and I didn't have a chuffing clue when he was handed over to me despite having nieces and nephews and working with young children

Also you can hand neices and nephews back...

 

[CatHun]

Everyone knows how hard having a baby will be but there is NO way you can prepare for it. It’s 24/7. You can’t do all those normal pregnancy or pre pregnancy things and society expects you to take it in your stride. If there’s ever a time a lady can moan it’s three weeks post partum.

I agree with this, your entire life changes in an instant and no amount of seeing other people’s babies and listening to stories can actually prepare you for what’s going to happen.
I knew there would be sleepless nights but I didn’t realise that at 6pm every night I would have a little bit of dread knowing I was so tired and heading into another night of the unknown. You don’t get a chance to get yourself back from tired even if your partner looks after the baby for a few hours while you sleep it isn’t the same as a few full nights sleep to catch up. My sister having two kids couldn’t prepare me for what it would actually be like.

I do think Richs extended paternity leave is a blessing and a curse. When they go back to work is when you come into your own, you realise you can care for them by yourself and start to get out there on your own with them. I think him being there is becoming a crutch, she is coming across like she can’t do it without him being there and she can.

 

[Juliet]

That's really harsh. Having nieces and nephews does not prepare you for the early days at all. You need to have a newborn to fully appreciate how tough it can be. My son is almost 6 and I didn't have a chuffing clue when he was handed over to me despite having nieces and nephews and working with young children

Also you can hand neices and nephews back...

Exactly. I don’t understand why people don’t get it? You do not know how hard it is until you do it yourself for the first time. Having nieces and nephews - not the same. Working in a crèche - not the same. Even having a second child isn’t even the same because you’ve prepared yourself and you know what exactly what you’re in for having done it already. When you’re an independent adult used to living selfishly and being able to do whatever you want whenever you want, having a newborn baby (especially a difficult one - silent reflux survivor here ) it transforms you’re life completely.

I do think Richs extended paternity leave is a blessing and a curse. When they go back to work is when you come into your own, you realise you can care for them by yourself and start to get out there on your own with them. I think him being there is becoming a crutch, she is coming across like she can’t do it without him being there and she can.

I agree. She can totally do it alone when he’s at work she just doesn’t realise it yet.

There’s nothing like reaching the 6 month point and suddenly realising how well you’re actually doing!

 

[Yoyolady]

I agree with this, your entire life changes in an instant and no amount of seeing other people’s babies and listening to stories can actually prepare you for what’s going to happen.
I knew there would be sleepless nights but I didn’t realise that at 6pm every night I would have a little bit of dread knowing I was so tired and heading into another night of the unknown. You don’t get a chance to get yourself back from tired even if your partner looks after the baby for a few hours while you sleep it isn’t the same as a few full nights sleep to catch up. My sister having two kids couldn’t prepare me for what it would actually be like.

I do think Richs extended paternity leave is a blessing and a curse. When they go back to work is when you come into your own, you realise you can care for them by yourself and start to get out there on your own with them. I think him being there is becoming a crutch, she is coming across like she can’t do it without him being there and she can.

I totally understand that its different to nieces and nephews - I have 3 kids of my own. What I'm saying is she seems completely shocked and all 'why don't people talk about this' when they DO she just chose not to listen.

 

[bexgreen1983]

I totally understand that its different to nieces and nephews - I have 3 kids of my own. What I'm saying is she seems completely shocked and all 'why don't people talk about this' when they DO she just chose not to listen.

That's complete rubbish sorry. All my friends said how hard having a baby was and I did listen to them and prepare myself and the reality was so so so much harder then I ever imagined and I can probably guess that this will be the same for Lily.

Likewise everyone warns you two is even harder and again you think ok I know what I'm going to be dealing with and then you have two and your like my God they were right!

 

[Yoyolady]

That's complete rubbish sorry. All my friends said how hard having a baby was and I did listen to them and prepare myself and the reality was so so so much harder then I ever imagined and I can probably guess that this will be the same for Lily.

Likewise everyone warns you two is even harder and again you think ok I know what I'm going to be dealing with and then you have two and your like my God they were right!

Yeah I know how hard it is - I've got three! I just think that from the moaning Lily did in pregnancy and how much she moans in general it wasn't a stretch to think she might be rather moany after giving birth. There is joy to be found in the newborn stage too and she's chosen not to dwell on that and focus on how hard it is.

 

[SunshineSally]

But I don't think that she is moaning. She is just telling it as it is. I'd rather her be saying that than Rosie Londoner's constant fluffy unicorns and rainbows version of the early days

 

[bexgreen1983]

Yeah I know how hard it is - I've got three! I just think that from the moaning Lily did in pregnancy and how much she moans in general it wasn't a stretch to think she might be rather moany after giving birth. There is joy to be found in the newborn stage too and she's chosen not to dwell on that and focus on how hard it is.

Shes not moaning though she is literally saying how it is. The first few months aren't all sunshine and rainbows... as I say I would much rather someone say how it is then sugar coat it and make it all look amazing when in reality it isn't.

She isn't posting loads so ever thought maybe the rest of the time she is enjoying it???

 

[LurkyLou]

It’s great that so many of you went in to motherhood knowing exactly how hard it was going to be and coped so well.

I went in knowing it’d probably be the hardest thing I’d ever do, and it was still so much harder than I could have ever imagined. My child didn’t sleep through the night until they were 3.5, we had issues feeding, a tongue tie, total bottle refusal…I felt like a total failure because all other mothers were coping just fine, so why was I drowning?

When I was a new mum, the more “honest” side of parenting wasn’t really talked about, and I felt like such a failure because everyone was coping. I was lucky enough to never develop full blown PND, but I definitely skirted very close to it, and I genuinely feel being able to see other women - successful women especially! - admitting they were having trouble coping would have helped me so much.

I really wish I could give you a hug right now! I got EXTREMELY lucky with our first daughter. She was the definition of a perfect baby. Don't get me wrong, I still struggled. But those struggles were less about her and more about me re-learning how to adult with a baby. Fast-forward to my second daughter and I thought I had a voodoo hex placed upon me. It felt like everything that could go wrong did go wrong. There were plenty of people who thought I "should" know better because I already had a child. I paid them back. My daughter liked to have blowouts after her lunch feeds. I made sure to reserve hand offs for certain individuals whenever possible. It's the little victories ladies! Just goes to show you that every baby is a new experience. I'm glad you made it through mama!

 

[onlyinitforthepony]

I really wish I could give you a hug right now! I got EXTREMELY lucky with our first daughter. She was the definition of a perfect baby. Don't get me wrong, I still struggled. But those struggles were less about her and more about me re-learning how to adult with a baby. Fast-forward to my second daughter and I thought I had a voodoo hex placed upon me. It felt like everything that could go wrong did go wrong. There were plenty of people who thought I "should" know better because I already had a child. I paid them back. My daughter liked to have blowouts after her lunch feeds. I made sure to reserve hand offs for certain individuals whenever possible. It's the little victories ladies! Just goes to show you that every baby is a new experience. I'm glad you made it through mama!

My mum once told me that when she had me she’d look at other mums and wonder why their kids were crying and “misbehaving” all the time, and basically feel like a pretty superior parent.

Then she had my brother and realised that I was an abnormally well behaved and calm child - and my brother was much more normal and it was nothing to do with her parenting