Lauren Goodger #93 I’m paid in microwaves that’s my bag, so what if I’m a has been Towie sl_g

[Chi4]

Bet she is bored with this silence ! Yaz is Also not posting either.

 

[gloriouscheesecake]

This is literally the same video from her hairdressers (I just zoomed in to see her moonface in the mirror!)

No chiselled jawline? Does the mirror add 3 stone? Or is it that filters don't show in the corner of the mirror?

I don't get how they think people have the intelligence of a goldfish to believe that she looks like this. How is she not embarrassed now?

Even worse though, this is her hairdresser putting the filter on!

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Looks like she's melting 🫠

 

[Chi4]

See the hair has got longer

 

[Mycatismad]

I would love a definitive list of all the names we’ve given her throughout these threads

I’m just waiting to be so bored that I collate the list myself!

Lapissedoff and Lawheresmystuff (when byg was selling her toys) are some of my favourites

 

[GalGal]

I am a disgusting human being but I would climb Scotty T like a tree

I definitely would, I just wouldn’t tell anyone!

 

[Clickbait]

Is LaFeltTip toilet trained yet?
My kid is 2 weeks younger than LaFeltTip. He isn't ready at all, but girls tend to be earlier I think?

I strongly doubt it, BYG wouldn’t have missed an opportunity to share that process with the world!

I got a book out the library about potty training and very quickly realised mini Clicky is nowhere near ready, I had grand ideas of this being resolved by 2 but I was well and truly put right. You’d hope Larose is daytime trained by school particularly if she does have the issue with holding in her poo.

 

[Momohawk]

So a mid thread recap...

1. BYG has been charged with a crime relating to financial fraud. She was so upset at the time that she posted lots of woe-is-me social media essays about it (no grammar required of course) and then promptly came off social media. Luckily, less than 2 weeks later all stress has gone and she is back to posting filtered, heavily overposed and false-advertising pictures of her blubbery body from the top of her stairs. Never fear scrunchies, presumably the woe-is-me will all reappear just in time for the court case.

2. Still very little screen time for our BYG in TOWIE. She's basically a cameo at this stage, always hiding her gut and gurning at Amy or Junaid.

3. She fell in the street following the stress of the deeply unfair charges she is now facing and had horrific injuries that she needed to tell the world about immediately. Luckily a few days later she is right as rain again. What amazing healing powers those 3 healthy juices she had 4 weeks ago must have!

4. Still no stairgate for LaOrse. But it is of course unreasonable to expect our BYG to follow safety suggestions from experts. LaOrse didnt die from her refusal to follow safe sleep practices and giving her a massive pillow and duvet at 3 months old (instead of a sleeping bag and no pillow like us awful parents out here) and she hasnt caught any of the diseases she isnt vaccinated against yet, so of course she won't die from falling down stairs.

5. Some pesky paps sold some horribly fake photos that made our BYG look fat. Luckily Scrunchies, she confirmed immediately that these photos were fake. Both she and a "friend" went on record to reassure us that she doesnt look like those real-life photos in real life. We were then treated to a reel of photos she'd taken herself with absolutely no ass-back, tits-out posing and no filtering (oh no of course not) to show us what she really looks like. I for one am very glad that she cleared that up and am livid at the paps for spending so much time photoshopping those gym car park photos to make her look bigger than she really is before they sold them and went on with their day jobs. Thank fully, BYG is now keeping up a steady stream of photos taken from the top of her stairs showing how thin and bewful is she which are not filtered, posed or otherwise doctored at all!

6. BYG went to the gym every day for 2 whole weeks. A "friend" confirmed to the media that she goes every day so that must be true. No evidence seen recently but she probably just doesnt want those pesky photoshopping paps to turn up again. I'm sure she is continuing to go daily like she always has and drinking her celery-filled smoothies as usual.

7. 0.5 has a new girlfriend. But it's just a coincidence that all the posed and filtered photos have made a return just in time for that. And the snarky meme quotes on BYG's stories over the last few weeks have of course had nothing to do with this.

WELL SAID!!!

 

[fimfim]

I’ve not been on her insta in ages but it looks like she’s deleted most of her photos, the OF link in her bio and any references to OF in her photos. Was that for towie or the upcoming court case do you think?

 

[yummy2021]

I read an article somewhere stating that having a BBL removal can be just as dangerous as when having it done in the first place.Grim reading.

i've just seen that lateysha grace is in turkey reversing her bbl

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

I think the makeup is just from filters, looks a bit dodgy

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Her eyes are wonky!

 

[ishaggedhughjackman]

Is LaFeltTip toilet trained yet?
My kid is 2 weeks younger than LaFeltTip. He isn't ready at all, but girls tend to be earlier I think?

 

[fimfim]

Has she been caught up in the sun bed/sunscreen news reports also? I know Lauryn has but haven’t seen Lauren mentioned

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

Something to do with farming IIRC

Ah I see now! Presumably all the kids would be required to help on the farms so September would be Harvest Time. Its pretty archaic to still be running this system though

 

[Lizz17uk]

A Sept/Oct child is the oldest in their year in the UK.
I was an August baby and always one of the youngest in my class. My oldest peers are turning 50 in September and I’m not 49 till August.

Yea I’m Sept 6th, cut off for below me was Sept 2nd when I was a kid so I was the oldest in the school the whole time I was there. Sadly when I first started they had mixed classes so the older kids would go up halfway thru the school year, because of the huge age gap I had made friends with all the older kids and then when they went up a year I wasn’t allowed and so lost all my friends and had to start again, my mum really tried to have me moved up but they would have it, that was infant school and I never really clicked with anyone in my year after that, I’d always got on better with older kids and adults and it just ruined my whole school experience :/ my mum always has felt bad she wasn’t able to get my up a year

 

[fimfim]

Would her ‘management’ also be liable for charges if they advised or agreed to her doing the work?

 

[Jujujulia95]

I wonder whether she weighs herself or avoids the scales?

 

[Yano]

Shes just parroting ellie grey who is a fucking idiot as it is.

 

[Nosymum]

If your on holiday or absolutely desperate most window with water and stick foil up to block out the light!! Am sure she’s got that in the house!!

 

[Mydog]

So who decided on the 1st of September as the New School Year in England anyway - why not 1st January?

It dates back centuries ago when agriculture played a big part in society. Something like that ( just woke up).
It's old fashioned and schooling here needs an overhaul - the system is on its knees.

 

[fimfim]

If you’re this bewful ‘n soff you can’t possibly be expected to order, pay and install blinds?! She’s only human gels, begging for walk in closets, landscapers, blow dries, cleaners, media walls… when would she have time to go on Amazon?

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Thought she was grifting not that long ago to get the eyebrows lasered off? It would go a long way in making her actually look more soff.