Lauren Goodger #78 Lemons and gingers, chocolate fingers, back to the flat where Jake's ghost lingers

[Kitty-Kat]

I just think doing the underwear reveal on the halogen hob really adds a touch of class. She’s so inspirational

Oh, I thought she was polishing the hob with it

Thanks all, I'm delighted that I've made you grin

It really is brilliant Crowbag

 

[bignellie]

Loz, loz, sell us a shoe,
They don't have to be the right size,
A 4 or an 8 will do.
A real fur fake fur that's been around the block,
A smurf blue jumpsuit with 56 miles on the clock.

A lion of gold, some shoes that look old,
A bundle of dirty vests,
Fake red soles, torn brollies on poles
And hair pieces birds used for nests.

Lycra, Mike-ra (wave), a mirror that's never been used
Tops stretched out of shape with cleavage agape
And gussets your fanny abused.

The jumbly of doom in the annex shed room
Where everything's thrown on the floor
No buyer's rights, yet your sales are all shite
Any critics are blocked and ignored.

Held by The Team to hide knackered seams
Against the crap flowered wall
A bed that you've kissed on, settee that's been pissed on,
Thanks loz, you've shown us it all.

bewful

 

[lucerad]

This swamp donkey judges mothers for sending their kids to nursery where they are nurtured and cared for and have STRUCTURE… yet she spends all day every day plonking poor laorse in front of coco melon (terrible for kids), going to bleeping tanning salons and feeding her nandos. I CANNOT WITH THIS WOMAN.

 

[slinkywinky]

Wonder what size she actually bought those jackets in…

What is it with those jackets? I'm not a fan whatsoever. Fur or not. The straps round the arms are awful.

Thank you Love Pom xx



Thank you xx
Looool I always enjoy seeing your Oddbod jr pic xx.

Oops I did it again pic ... x...

View attachment 1717814

bleeping love this you're a legend Pom.

Nice to hear how my stories are enjoyed thank you, I enjoy adding them to a pic when I can xx


3rd pic Loz in her Monk dress xx....

View attachment 1717830

Stop! These are too funny

 

[GlassOfBeans]

How is she going to cram that arse and those bazookas in that flimsy stuff? Thats cruelty to fabric!!!

She will use a hair bobble to hoist them up and bind them together, remember when she did that before… classic Loz

 

[Ingognito.Queen]

This swamp donkey judges mothers for sending their kids to nursery where they are nurtured and cared for and have STRUCTURE… yet she spends all day every day plonking poor laorse in front of coco melon (terrible for kids), going to bleeping tanning salons and feeding her nandos. I CANNOT WITH THIS WOMAN.

Why is Coco Melon terrible for kids?

 

[MrsGripperStebson]

@Crowbag I think that needs to go in the wiki to explain the jumble sale of doom period in the BYG threads!

 

[OldBlondie]

Thats cruelty to fabric!!

Ahahahahaha my fave line of the day

 

[Cazza81]

Just seen the lingerie stories - why is she flinging that thong/hammock around on top of the hob? Is that how you make people want to buy them, so they can actually work out what the screwed up item is?

 

[Notredamn]

She probably wanted people to notice the ‘Miele’ branding on the hob, the tragedy.

 

[minnietheminx]

But thats the entire point of Lozza's Jumble Sale of Doom - she wants people to know its all her crap because then they can boast about having bought a bagful of skiddy used knickers and a stained jumpsuit from her! Everyone wants Lozza's castoffs..............................don't they????


How is she going to cram that arse and those bazookas in that flimsy stuff? Thats cruelty to fabric!!!
WORSE STILL - OMFG I've just realised that its a thong. Jesus bleeping Christ

I think we are safe, Krusty has stopped her flashing while she tries to rebrand her as a wholesome mummy!

 

[Silly-old-Slapper]

Aw, BYG's elf n fi-nizz era is well and truly but what WILL she wear when she has to stand on the tailgate of a wide loader (holding an empty box aloft) with her expertly styled caramel tresses surrounding the expertly applied light pallet (sic) of nyootral make-up??

 

[slinkywinky]

Why is Coco Melon terrible for kids?

I'd like to know this too. My nearly 3 year old watches it and her vocabulary and speech is amazing. I don't mean that's down to Cocomelon but it certainly hasn't affected her.

 

[geordiegirl]

@Pom Bear If you have time, I think we need Lozza as Indiana Jones as we keep referring to her sudden sale of stuff as the Jumble Sale of Doom so I did think of the film Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Wtf?!?!

 

[terfette]

I'd like to know this too. My nearly 3 year old watches it and her vocabulary and speech is amazing. I don't mean that's down to Cocomelon but it certainly hasn't affected her.

Mine are far past that sort of show, but it can be overstimulating and addictive. My exs child was addicted to similar stuff, and would shake and sweat like a rattling heroin addict if you so much as walked in front of the screen and pee on the floor rather than go to the toilet and be away from it. It’s far from the only show like it, and when you actually interact with your child and limit screen time, likely won’t happen.

Same for speech development. I remember when they said the same thing about baby signing - but it only applies when you let them rely on it and don’t push them to develop.

 

[NotAgain?]

@Pom Bear If you have time, I think we need Lozza as Indiana Jones as we keep referring to her sudden sale of stuff as the Jumble Sale of Doom so I did think of the film Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Wtf?!?!

View attachment 1719700

BYG is actually the giant ball that chases poor Indiana Jones through the cave.

He's holding some Cartier jewellery from the looks of things and Lozza wants it.

 

[FoxyBingo]

That outfit would look bad on most people, but jeeeez Lauren wtf are you wearing?

 

[troutpout69]

Who dis?

 

[slinkywinky]

Mine are far past that sort of show, but it can be overstimulating and addictive. My exs child was addicted to similar stuff, and would shake and sweat like a rattling heroin addict if you so much as walked in front of the screen and pee on the floor rather than go to the toilet and be away from it. It’s far from the only show like it, and when you actually interact with your child and limit screen time, likely won’t happen.

Same for speech development. I remember when they said the same thing about baby signing - but it only applies when you let them rely on it and don’t push them to develop.

Christ, that is bad! But yes as you say if screen time is limited then probably won't happen. Sometimes when I can't be arsed with it I tell her Cocomelon is broken

 

[Crowbag]

Who dis?

We need the unfiltered version.
Not that she's oozing desperation and delusion or anything ....