Lauren Goodger #78 Lemons and gingers, chocolate fingers, back to the flat where Jake's ghost lingers

[Pom Bear]

Sorry I'm very late tonight, been busy all day. x

New thread

As I can't reply in the last thread I thank scrunchies for their comments on my last pic x

Lionel Blair pic made Love Pom ...

"Time for new shoes " thinks Lionel as his finding his old ones not very comfy anymore.
The last time he was on Give Us a Clue he started getting awful bunions.

After looking in the Yellow Pages and having no luck, Lionel decided to transport in his time machine to the early 21st century and managed to get online and find the BYG website.

" They a bit too flamboyant for me" thought Lionel but then thought he may as well buy them, they be more roomy on his feet.

Once transported back to the early 80s Lionel was back on Give Us a Clue again showing off in front of Micheal Aspel and the two teams in his new shoes.

What he didn't notice was the muffled laughter from everyone in the studio and the audience at the monstrosities he was wearing on his feet.

xx.

 

[Philimena cunk]

She'll be looking like this by midnight...

 

[Pom Bear]

x ...

x

 

[Pom Bear]

On her fitness jumble sale of doom page she is now selling ALL these waist trainers

Just waiting for a scrunchie to give it the caption it so rightly deserves….

The other day I got an email from the firm I worked for asking if I sort out a problem with a massive gap in a bridge nearby and would it be ok to make it safe as soon as possible while they wait for the concrete delivery, which will be well over a week .

They showed me a photo online of the bridge beforehand ...

Then how it is now...

Hellsbells I thought, I best get started ...

So I looked at the BYG selling website and found some waist trainers ...

I then went and brought one of the black ones which looked the strongest and got it in my truck when it arrived and made my way to fix the bridge...

All done I thought at long last, it took a good while but well worth it to make it safe again x.

Well done said my boss..a big bonus is on your way x

I can feel a @Pom Bear request coming on. BYG wearing the red leather monstrosities as Michael Jackson in Thriller, and to be doubly spoiled as Britney in the Oops I did it again music video

And extra extra spoiled BYG as a monk in robes pls @Pom Bear work your magic


This is an amazing find, am actually sitting crying at the thought of her chief photoshopper sitting doing this

All three will make throughout tomorrow (Thursday) xx

 

[Crowbag]

Loz, loz, sell us a shoe,
They don't have to be the right size,
A 4 or an 8 will do.
A real fur fake fur that's been around the block,
A smurf blue jumpsuit with 56 miles on the clock.

A lion of gold, some shoes that look old,
A bundle of dirty vests,
Fake red soles, torn brollies on poles
And hair pieces birds used for nests.

Lycra, Mike-ra (wave), a mirror that's never been used
Tops stretched out of shape with cleavage agape
And gussets your fanny abused.

The jumbly of doom in the annex shed room
Where everything's thrown on the floor
No buyer's rights, yet your sales are all shite
Any critics are blocked and ignored.

Held by The Team to hide knackered seams
Against the crap flowered wall
A bed that you've kissed on, settee that's been pissed on,
Thanks loz, you've shown us it all.

 

[Pom Bear]

Ah wow this is epic!!!

Pom the annex of toasters is genius, I love these creations so much

Thank you both very much Love Pom xx.

My second pic now made which is called The only BYG in the village x..

Back later x

 

[Pom Bear]

Pom you are on fire tonight your creations really are just so bewful and perfik


Hahahahaha stop these crack me up so much, just when you think they can’t get funnier another scrunchie comes along with a new absolute belter

Thank you loooool xx.

Every time I have a favourite, a new one pops up I also started looking back at old posts and wish I had been here for the Murat days

Thank you, glad you like my newer favourites xx

Some old Murat pics I made from those days for you to enjoy xx ..

 

[Pom Bear]

Lamurdershewrote

Looooooool xx.

 

[GlassOfBeans]

Just had a sneak peek at BYG’s diary:

Sunday - Toby Carvery All You Can Eat
Monday - Carpark photoshoot
Tuesday - Buy bots
Wednesday - Film microwave meal and pretend I’ve cooked. Shaft customers on my flea market Instagram
Thursday - Jake’s ghost seance
Friday - Out with the gels/face-fuck the camera the whole night
Saturday - Call an ambulance for my come down

 

[Pom Bear]

Looooooooool x...

 

[geordiegirl]

Am I the only one who doesn't know this D-Block is?

 

[Crowbag]

Dear Dairy

Laureen here, startin new life. New me, new life, new day, new nite, new house, sort of, new crocs.
I'm a stron independent women, makin me own way in life.
Husband and wife and muvva and farther to my bewful house wiv annex or wivout, but no shed. Oh yeah, and stron husband and farther to lil larose.

(glues in 36 photos of alien face pointy chin self)

Am bewful.
Not bein boasty but that's the hole troof. Am blessed wiv bewfulness.
And am award winnin baffa bewful too, not just any bewful.

(glues in copy of the laureen poster with 'bafta' coloured in orange highlighter, with stick on shiny stars)

More tomoro Dear Dairy.
Got to spend time bein best muvva in world to my gel, she's my hole world, my best friend, my mini me, am busy wiv lil gel 26/7 but thas what muvvas do.
Anyway finished bein wiv baby gel now, 3 minutes was enuf to take 7 videos of my bubba and my titties.

Back laters.
Love you.
Livin my best life.

 

[geordiegirl]

Omg look at this monstrosity!

 

[Pom Bear]

Lauren's bottom has got smaller ...x

Looks like she dumped it on the ground looool x

Back later

 

[Emmie81]

I read somewhere that often people are stunted at the age they were when they experienced a trauma. Her being 14 is round about the time she met Mark Wright… not saying it’s right but if the shoe fits

It would be rather sad if a 14 year old was more traumatised by a pubescent spotty boy than your own mother dumping you on daddy’s door at 5, wouldn’t it?

Whilst MW is a twat in his own right, I’d be fuming if I was labelled the reason for a grown ass woman’s problems 11 years beyond a televised, dramatised relationship.

I don’t remotely think they had a “10 year solid relationship” - he saw her as a booty call and she fell for it. Where was her mates between the age of 14-23? Oh that’s right, she doesn’t have friends
Yes, he probably had a vicious tongue but so did she - her problem is - she’s still does.
she outed her DOI partner for being a shit pro
She laughed at Faiers in a wedding dress
She was spiteful to Lucy on the show
she went on record, whilst pregnant, stating she considered an abortion. She also did a longer, more nauseating memoriam to someone who hated her over her own child

At 36 (versus her ex TOWIE OG lot) - she has nothing that she so desperately desires ?
No media worthiness,
no money,
nothing materialistic or authentic goods
no owned house at all, let alone a £1.5m Brentwood home with 10 beds, a walk in wardrobe, a pool,
No desirable body
No pretty face
no brand new RR
No endorsements
No husband/boyfriend

notice I’ve not mentioned her first child, I truly don’t think she cares for her in the way that she should, as a maternal person. She is an accessory to Lauren, she was born in the hope it would rebirth her career and her position under the spot light and it hasn’t and.. it won’t. The poor kid under Lauren’s guidance has no chance up to the age of 16.

that's why many normal folk on here actually realise that the IG life is fake and our own lives are literally better and richer (in love or material .. or both) in every way

Out of all the tattle pages - this one is genuinely my fave as there is literally no comment written by anyone because they have an ounce of jealousy in her existence . No one, literally no one here would wish to swap lives with her.

SHE IS A CUNT

 

[MrsEms]

Look how skinny ?? Seriously
View attachment 1719966

For everyone asking it's not a body it's a crap top and it's not my body, I bigger. Shorts from @prettybigthing

 

[Ekathrina]

What a hideous outfit. She looks like a human poo.

 

[Pom Bear]

Ahahaha crying at this, brilliant


Hahaha thanks Pom. Another amazing creation, gave me a good giggle this morning


This is amazing


Probably priced at least 3x the actual value of them too, maybe even with a hole in them or some staining in the gusset if the fitness jumbly rumbly sale of doom page followers are lucky

Fucking love this you're a legend Pom.


Stop! These are too funny

Thank you both xx

BYG is actually the giant ball that chases poor Indiana Jones through the cave.

One for later tonight xx


He's holding some Cartier jewellery from the looks of things and Lozza wants it.

@Pom Bear If you have time, I think we need Lozza as Indiana Jones as we keep referring to her sudden sale of stuff as the Jumble Sale of Doom so I did think of the film Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Just made xx.

I've made it bigger so less pixelated, if it needs to be smaller let me know and I make it the usual size xx

 

[Pom Bear]

First pic of three promised from last night x.

First one Thriller x..

Two more coming up later x

 

[hayleybaby]

My friend's little boy did exactly this to me years ago.
Wrapped his arms around me in the middle of the road, snuggled in then announced in a VERY LOUD VOICE

'I love your fat lady's tummy'

His mum said fair enough, must be like hugging a stick with me (she's very tall and very slim. I'm neither)

I loved it.
I doubt loz would

A couple of years ago I was sat on my bed after having a bath and my daughter asked me why my boobies looked sad