Lauren Goodger #45 he new teef, me not well, got hair in knot, but love baby gel

[Crowbag]

View attachment 846202Lozza no ones sofa should need cleaning that quickly, the reason it had dirt and stains is because you are a dirty skank stop trying to blame clothes when you sit on the sofa with just a thong on, tge dirt and stains will be from your repulsive fat arse

Oh god.
Mostly I can ignore the illiteracy but a lifetime as head of English sometimes makes my eyes scream.
It's all thick as tit infantile gibberish!

'to come and clean you sofa you me surpised of the dirt that comes off and the stains from clothes'

Thick twit.

But I fought you only ad to breeve when giving birf?

That's a very fair point.
Silly me.
Scrap that loz, pile some more covers on.

 

[AimlessShameless]

Me Sofa
He So far

 

[lamaitresse]

View attachment 846202Lozza no ones sofa should need cleaning that quickly, the reason it had dirt and stains is because you are a dirty skank stop trying to blame clothes when you sit on the sofa with just a thong on, tge dirt and stains will be from your repulsive fat arse

Sooo, is this a glowing advertisement for the company? I'd read that and wonder if the cleaning chemicals have made the customer high, as she's obviously not completely sober when she's typed that out. Damn those sausage fingers!

"Contact CentralCleanServices to come clean you sofa you me suprised of the dirt that comes off and the stains from clothes".

As far as I know, they've only cleaned LaRose's poop off her sofa (who pulled the short straw on that job, I wonder), no mention of any of Lauren's clothing. She could have linked to their prices, given info on which equipment they use, how to make an appointment, whether they're an established, trusted company. Even done a Before and After photo (mind you, nobody wants to see a close-up of faeces on a couch).

Surely the people who run that company are thinking, WTF were we thinking? She's a bleeping dope. Proof read, you fuckwit, especially if you want more freebies.

If I was the owner, I'd be sending her an invoice tout suite.

Imagine you give someone a freebie to promote you on their insta and it's just

YOU SOFA
ME SURPRISED

She missed out the R in surprised. It was "suprised".

 

[Titfortattalesxo]

Sooo, is this a glowing advertisement for the company? I'd read that and wonder if the cleaning chemicals have made the customer high, as she's obviously not completely sober when she's typed that out.

"Contact CentralCleanServices to come clean you sofa you me suprised of the dirt that comes off and the stains from clothes".

Ehhh?

Surely the people who run that company are thinking, WTF were we thinking? She's a bleeping dope. Proof read, you fuckwit, especially if you want more freebies.
She missed out the R in surprised. It was "suprised".

Why does she have management? They do nothing for her except allow her to make a fool of herself. Do they just watch and laugh like we do?

 

[Anna666]

View attachment 846202Lozza no ones sofa should need cleaning that quickly, the reason it had dirt and stains is because you are a dirty skank stop trying to blame clothes when you sit on the sofa with just a thong on, tge dirt and stains will be from your repulsive fat arse

Here we go AGAIN!!! ..... WTF is she going on about????? ..... ( I'm getting another headache ) .... the company obviously cleaned it for free, in order to get some publicity ... and this is what ..... they get .... lozzzzzzaaaa the obese ILLITERATE twunt, spewing her usual mumbo jumbo .... nonsensical, unreadable GIBBERISH!! .... as for that humongous sweaty arse in a gstring on white sofas? .... don't even get me started I give credit to the company for removing her skid marks, and other bodily secretions

 

[NinaStar90]

"
She missed out the R in surprised. It was "suprised".

Jesus I can't even get to her level of illiteracy, by default I just type like someone over the age of 12.

 

[lamaitresse]

Why does she have management? They do nothing for her except allow her to make a fool of herself. Do they just watch and laugh like we do?

It's because she's not uber-famous (most big names have PR teams posting their social media. Even if it is the celeb posting, they're - usually - careful about what they say)! I'd assume Moleman would take a fee if Lauren asked him to proofread and approve everything (it would be quite an undertaking, too).

It's embarrassing for her (wearing her stupidity on her sleeve) and really bad for a company - because people think, they must be so desperate for exposure they're offering freebies to a (not very likeable or inspirational) zeleb, who can't even promote them with any sort of effort. This is real, bottom of the barrel, stuff.

I'd almost feel sorry for her, but then I see her touting her poor baby for Likes again, Batsignalling OnlyFans customers half-naked, or with a blanket chucked over LaRose carelessly, and I don't.

Edit: What I'm trying to say (clumsily) is that I reckon she can't afford it (Moleman taking over her social media output). Too late, anyway, we all know how dumb she is.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

The problem is, bewfelyungel can't really do anything else. She's illiterate, slow witted and uneducated. She'd struggle to even hold down a job doing anything at the most basic level because she's got no concentration span and of course is such a bewfelyungel with a bafter that she would be instantly recognised. I actually think for her, Only Fans is a genius move because there will always be a market for flabby big fake tits bewfelyungels flashing their wares. If Chaz makes it as Essex's Eminem they'll be set for life of course.

Moleman must be getting services in kind because he sure as hell isn't getting credibility or money by managing bewfelyungel.

 

[Clickbait]

Moleman must be getting services in kind because he sure as hell isn't getting credibility or money by managing bewfelyungel.

I’m pretty sure Moleman doesn’t care about credibility - have you seen who he has on his books? Some of them are even more Z-list than BYG and that is saying something (Kerry Katona’s daughter )

I think his input is minimal because none of them are actually going to be appearing on anything mainstream or prime time any longer. He’s got them all at the arse-end of their career or to try and get them a career of sorts.

His pattern seems to be:
1. Find someone from reality TV show - TOWIE, Geordie Shore, MAFS U.K, US equivalents.
2. Get them to undertake some staged pap walks.
3. Get them some magazine interviews on the basis of who they’ve slept with, other scandal etc.
4. Get them a slot on other reality shows: Celebs Go Dating, Celebrity Coach Trip, Celebrity Ibiza Weekender, Ex On The Beach. In this space E4, ITVBe and MTV is their friend.
5. Try and get them to shack up with another z-list celebrity to get married and/or have a baby to sell photos of.
6. Get them some conversations with self-proclaimed experts on YouTube and/or podcasts.
Rinse and repeat.
7. Slowly stop taking their calls.

Also, check out the pic of Big Loz on their site. It’s no wonder she’s been photoshopping and using apps/filters on all her photos. This pic must be at least 5 years old and she looks 40+ in it.

 

[ishaggedhughjackman]

You just can’t make up how ridiculous she is

Imagine you give someone a freebie to promote you on their insta and it's just

YOU SOFA
ME SURPRISED

 

[xyzcba]

I forgot about Mole-y! He must be close to dropping her by now surely? Mind you with the z-list 'talent' he's representing, he doesn't strike me as fussy.
She's still on their IG.

Love this first one, that picture in the background with all the words surrounding her name Celebrity being really big. Right-O Lozzer

Then in a clip from celebs go dating, she says she wants a man that's independent and doesn't rely on her... shouldn't have got knocked up by a man child love.

And no wonder we haven't seen that New shot before, eeesh she won't have liked that one!

 

[Mollichop]

I’m just clearing muck in my horses fields and in the middle found a bleeping hideous scrunchie! Don’t worry it’s at peace now

 

[Clickbait]

I’m just clearing muck in my horses fields and in the middle found a bleeping hideous scrunchie! Don’t worry it’s at peace now

OMG, BYG has done a pap walk in a field! Can you spot any balloons caught in the trees? Pram tyre tracks? Bit of minge-trim caught on a fence post or gate?

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

I’m pretty sure Moleman doesn’t care about credibility - have you seen who he has on his books? Some of them are even more Z-list than BYG and that is saying something (Kerry Katona’s daughter )

I think his input is minimal because none of them are actually going to be appearing on anything mainstream or prime time any longer. He’s got them all at the arse-end of their career or to try and get them a career of sorts.

His pattern seems to be:
1. Find someone from reality TV show - TOWIE, Geordie Shore, MAFS U.K, US equivalents.
2. Get them to undertake some staged pap walks.
3. Get them some magazine interviews on the basis of who they’ve slept with, other scandal etc.
4. Get them a slot on other reality shows: Celebs Go Dating, Celebrity Coach Trip, Celebrity Ibiza Weekender, Ex On The Beach. In this space E4, ITVBe and MTV is their friend.
5. Try and get them to shack up with another z-list celebrity to get married and/or have a baby to sell photos of.
6. Get them some conversations with self-proclaimed experts on YouTube and/or podcasts.
Rinse and repeat.
7. Slowly stop taking their calls.

Also, check out the pic of Big Loz on their site. It’s no wonder she’s been photoshopping and using apps/filters on all her photos. This pic must be at least 5 years old and she looks 40+ in it.
View attachment 846597

God Almighty. Katona's DAUGHTER? I'm surprised he doesn't have Tony from Hollyoaks's milkman's best friends' sisters next door neighbour. Better not give him ideas.

 

[Tittykitty]

She has posted an insta story where she shows baby in the bath, she then pans the camera round and almost shows everything that poor child has, no need at all.

 

[JakeM]

I forgot about Mole-y! He must be close to dropping her by now surely? Mind you with the z-list 'talent' he's representing, he doesn't strike me as fussy.
She's still on their IG.

Love this first one, that picture in the background with all the words surrounding her name Celebrity being really big. Right-O Lozzer

Then in a clip from celebs go dating, she says she wants a man that's independent and doesn't rely on her... shouldn't have got knocked up by a man child love.

And no wonder we haven't seen that New shot before, eeesh she won't have liked that one!

Look at the bloody state of her in that blonde wig. She looks like the love child of Donatella Versace and Ken Dodd.

 

[Sunnydaze101]

I’m pretty sure Moleman doesn’t care about credibility - have you seen who he has on his books? Some of them are even more Z-list than BYG and that is saying something (Kerry Katona’s daughter )

I think his input is minimal because none of them are actually going to be appearing on anything mainstream or prime time any longer. He’s got them all at the arse-end of their career or to try and get them a career of sorts.

His pattern seems to be:
1. Find someone from reality TV show - TOWIE, Geordie Shore, MAFS U.K, US equivalents.
2. Get them to undertake some staged pap walks.
3. Get them some magazine interviews on the basis of who they’ve slept with, other scandal etc.
4. Get them a slot on other reality shows: Celebs Go Dating, Celebrity Coach Trip, Celebrity Ibiza Weekender, Ex On The Beach. In this space E4, ITVBe and MTV is their friend.
5. Try and get them to shack up with another z-list celebrity to get married and/or have a baby to sell photos of.
6. Get them some conversations with self-proclaimed experts on YouTube and/or podcasts.
Rinse and repeat.
7. Slowly stop taking their calls.

Also, check out the pic of Big Loz on their site. It’s no wonder she’s been photoshopping and using apps/filters on all her photos. This pic must be at least 5 years old and she looks 40+ in it.
View attachment 846597

And what’s with the profile pic Goodgers keeps of herself on her Instagram. The white swimsuit one, she looks awful in it. It’s not a pretty picture at all. But then I guess she would struggle to find one of those

 

[Mollichop]

OMG, BYG has done a pap walk in a field! Can you spot any balloons caught in the trees? Pram tyre tracks? Bit of minge-trim caught on a fence post or gate?

Haha nope no other signs of the fat twit. It’s so random though as it’s in the middle of nowhere with no one around, not on a yard with other people

 

[Hootero]

God Almighty. Katona's DAUGHTER? I'm surprised he doesn't have Tony from Hollyoaks's milkman's best friends' sisters next door neighbour. Better not give him ideas.

I also like how Moleman has mentioned every ‘celebrity’ appearance Danielle Lloyd has ever done but has conveniently forgotten her 2007 Celebrity Big Brother stint. I say that because he mentions CBB in every others client bio. The best being Natalie Nunn (Who?!) and how she apparently took the UK ‘by storm’ when she appeared on there.

 

[Phil Anne Throw Pee]

I also like how Moleman has mentioned every ‘celebrity’ appearance Danielle Lloyd has ever done but has conveniently forgotten her 2007 Celebrity Big Brother stint. I say that because he mentions CBB in every others client bio. The best being Natalie Nunn (Who?!) and how she apparently took the UK ‘by storm’ when she appeared on there.

To my shame, I remember Lloyd on 'Doing the Dishes' some daytime reality show and Lloyd was the mystery 'celebrity'. None of them guessed who she was and at no point was her appearance on CBB mentioned. Hmm, wonder why??