Honestly it could just be that she’s following the dopamine and you’re no longer the shiny new toy….. it’s still really crappy behaviour, but if she was drawn to you in the first place there’s a higher chance she’s also ND, in which case dopamine seeking through social interaction would make sense, I unfortunately had a friend just like it
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That actually helps, if I think of it from the perspective that she is possibly ND as well and just following her own dopamine seeking behaviour, makes it a bit less personal and hurtful.
I've suspected for quite a while now that I have ADHD - I struggle with time blindness, if I don't add a reminder to my phone or write something down immediately then I will completely forget, I can never remember where I've put things...but I just started reading a book about adult ADHD (Dirty Laundry), and it's making me question whether I really do have it, because my symptoms are nowhere near as extreme as the lady in the book. I've never lost my iPhone or purse permanently, only around the house (she permanently lost three wallets and four sets of headphones in a short period of time for example). Instead of being late for everything, I'm usually super early cos I'm so paranoid about being late (the lady in the book has missed multiple trains and even flights). Is it possible to have ADHD to different degrees?! Could I be "high functioning" ADHD, or maybe I've just developed fairly good coping mechanisms? Would be interested to hear other people's experiences! I guess some of it is probably down to personality type?
It’s the same with anything, some people will be worse than others. Since I’ve been diagnosed, I’ve definitely started to unmask, which has been scary but also I finally feel myself.
I lose things constantly. Recently lost a brand new phone and then dropped a spare one I was using down the toilet. 
However, I'm always super early for appointments (allow ages for any possible setbacks) and the thought of not letting someone know I'll be late fills me with horror. I can lose something within minutes and often wander around looking for my glasses (panicking) and they'll be on my head
However, I'm always super early for appointments (allow ages for any possible setbacks) and the thought of not letting someone know I'll be late fills me with horror. I can lose something within minutes and often wander around looking for my glasses (panicking) and they'll be on my head
I’m hoping I’m not the only one that post-diagnosis ‘diagnoses’ fictional characters?
Maria VonTrapp is nailed on imo.
Maria VonTrapp is nailed on imo.
This is so interesting (this whole thread is so interesting) I’ve been brushing off all the stuff on SM because I thought all the symptoms were just how everyone is? Because I tick almost every single box of the symptoms list but I just see them as so normal I couldn’t imagine not being like that so I thought everyone is like that (does that make sense?) but recently I think things are starting to crescendo a bit for me, I explained to someone at work that when I’m in the office I put on rain noise and wear my headset because otherwise I get too distracted by having people around me and she said “me too - are we ND much?!” and I hadn’t really considered it was a factor - then I looked up all the symptoms and just stared at them thinking “well, they are all me”
I also have this thing which I describe as my brain feeling really BUSY which I tried to explain to my 5 yr old and I asked if she ever felt like that and she stared at me and said “no” very bluntly. I was chalking it up to being overwhelmed with being a mum of two young kids and being back at work and trying to keep the house in one piece but I don’t understand why I struggle so much.
I also don’t know if I should pursue a diagnosis, I’m not sure I would get much out of it, aside from the ability to tell people I have a diagnosis. Does any of that make sense? I’m actually a big supporter of diagnosis but not sure why for me I feel reticent about it.
anyway, this is exactly the thread I was hoping there was on here tonight.
For me, the knowing for sure, the validation that came with the diagnoses was more than worth it. It's brought me peace
Yes this! Even a 14 months post diagnosis I am still having lightbulb moments and understanding why things didn’t work out or why they felt so incredibly difficult. I’ve also just learnt I am a gestalt processor and it explains. A LOT
I have no idea what switched for me this week but I’ve suddenly decided to declutter and tidy, it’s an uphill slog and not an instant fix, but floordrobe has gone in the wash, duster is out and I listed a dozen items across vinted and facebook and sold most of them within 24 hours, making £400 and I just know that in spite of all the feel goods I will absolutely not learn my lesson 
putting the money into a savings account to save up and redecorate with, hoping it’ll keep me motivated!
putting the money into a savings account to save up and redecorate with, hoping it’ll keep me motivated!My therapist keeps asking if I'll seek a diagnosis and I feel much like you do. I'd never even considered that I have ADHD until very recently (despite a friend suggesting it for a long time - I put my weirdness down to cPTSD). I guess I don't want to feel like someone who is looking for a diagnosis of anything, like I'm trying to excuse the fact I'm lazy and chaotic (I do not think this about anyone else of course!)
I really didn't think I had any symptoms - I'm quite intense and my brain never, ever stops but I just thought I was a bit odd, but it never held me back from friendships, although I now realise all my friends are likely neurodivergent in one way or another.
I found my old school reports this week and they really upset me. A lot about how I produce exemplary work and I'm naturally very bright but I don't apply myself, I don't show any enthusiasm for the subject, I view criticism as an attack, I am talkative and distract others (to this day, I am the person who'll lead everyone else astray), that I miss deadlines, that the work I produce is fantastic considering I cram it all into the last possible five minutes, that I'm a perfectionist and would rather do nothing than not be perfect... It was 22 years ago so I shouldn't care, but the idea that I create the perception that I just don't give a tit when I care deeply about everything... and how good I could have been had anyone ever identified this and helped me. Sigh.
I have a lot of those feelings, why did nobody help me? I didn't walk until I was 2 and didn't speak until I could do a complete sentence, why did this not flag something? All those same comments on my school reports. Even now, I paid for private ADHD diagnostic tests (and got unexpected autism as a bonus) because I was told I'd be fast-tracked by the NHS for a medication appointment with a consultant. A year later, I've been told I was accidentally referred for diagnosis, but if they put me on the right referral pathway now it'll take longer than the year I've already waited, and I'll be at the back of the queue. It's frustrating and very unfair.
Because many walk and talk very early. My sister's children all walked and talked late, mine all walked and talked early. some are always early for appointments, others always late, some are very tidy others untidy, some minimalist some hoarders. Some of us a chalk and cheese and yet we are the same and are drawn to each other.
I think it's more because there weren't the same diagnostic criteria 40 years ago, which I know I can't do much about, but it still upsets me that I've struggled fairly needlessly.
I understand the feeling of struggling unnecessarily and wondering “what if” - I know it’s not much, but I hope it brings you some comfort to you know you’re not alone
Sadly it seems girls/women and people with inattentive type ADHD have been under diagnosed for some time as they often present differently. In the UK, ADHD was only formally recognised by NICE in 2000 and 2008 for adults, which explains why so many people were missed and now seeking an assessment.
I first spoke with my GP to ask for a referral 2 years ago, the NHS waiting list in my area is 5 years and unfortunately they will not accept a private diagnosis for ongoing treatment (plus it’s not something I can really afford).
Until I have an assessment I’m not sure if I do have ADHD.. and I feel wary about self-diagnosing, so until I know for certain I am just trying to cope by struggling through life haphazardly. I also think my dad has many symptoms (if not more than I do) and I’ve read that it can run in families but it’s difficult to know how to have that conversation with him.
My mum could be the poster child for ADHD tbh. I’ve mentioned it to my dad, with my mum I think there’s almost no point mentioning it, she constantly says “would you change me though?” In a very I am what I am way.I understand the feeling of struggling unnecessarily and wondering “what if” - I know it’s not much, but I hope it brings you some comfort to you know you’re not alone
Sadly it seems girls/women and people with inattentive type ADHD have been under diagnosed for some time as they often present differently. In the UK, ADHD was only formally recognised by NICE in 2000 and 2008 for adults, which explains why so many people were missed and now seeking an assessment.
I first spoke with my GP to ask for a referral 2 years ago, the NHS waiting list in my area is 5 years and unfortunately they will not accept a private diagnosis for ongoing treatment (plus it’s not something I can really afford).
Until I have an assessment I’m not sure if I do have ADHD.. and I feel wary about self-diagnosing, so until I know for certain I am just trying to cope by struggling through life haphazardly. I also think my dad has many symptoms (if not more than I do) and I’ve read that it can run in families but it’s difficult to know how to have that conversation with him.
When I was younger and would reflect on my childhood I always thought my mum had close to a nervous breakdown at one point, but I’m not sure now, however, I do think at one point she was definitely depressed. But being more aware of what ADHD symptoms are and how they display in women I can see how my mum could be diagnosed in a heartbeat.
it was always a running joke in my house that we’d never had a dinner made by my mum that wasn’t burnt, which is pretty true - but now I think well yeah, she gets so distracted she could never remember that our dinner was on and the next thing you know: burnt fish fingers.
It's really sad to think of our loved ones going through a lifetime of struggle and thinking it's just the way they are isn't it.
I still haven't called the doctors back since I missed my last two appointments but I am pretty confident I have adhd/ autism and I feel so sad for myself when I remember things but I keep laughing because it is so bloody obvious and my mum is a psychiatrist. I guess when you know someone it's harder to see as she didn't know me any other way? It's only since I moved out and started my own family, my sons school called me in about getting him a referral, she had said she thinks I am on the spectrum / adhd.
I feel like this. I don't necessarily experience the things I read are "typical" signs but I feel like that is because I put so much time and energy into preventing these things happening because people get so angry with me when they do happen.
And then I feel there is no support or understanding for me because I can ( with enormous effort) meet certain key standards that I have somehow prioritised as the most important. The ones that relate only to me I just can't even try, let alone succeed, and I am seen as wilful or lazy for that.
I'm awaiting testing for ADHD . I'm 23. I have tried to study three separate times yet I just can't seem to cope with it. I feel like a failure in life. I feel like I need to work 20 times harder to still be 10 steps behind. I've changed career plans and attempted to study 3 times. I'm on my third college course and I'm failing out. I've tried contacting student support and lecturers but because I'm not diagnosed I'm unable to get any support.
i can't focus at all. I can't seem to retain any information. I gave up my entire social life to study and I'm still failing out.
I'm ashamed of who I am. I just wish I could actually achieve something with my life.
i can't focus at all. I can't seem to retain any information. I gave up my entire social life to study and I'm still failing out.
I'm ashamed of who I am. I just wish I could actually achieve something with my life.
I wish we could all find a way to feel less ashamed, and to work through the feelings of going so long without knowing what was “wrong” with us, and feeling like failures despite trying so hard.
I feel like the only answer is ”lots of therapy“, but it’s so hard to jump through all the right hoops, to organise that kind of thing with brains like ours, and be lucky enough to find a helpful AND understanding therapist.
I feel like the only answer is ”lots of therapy“, but it’s so hard to jump through all the right hoops, to organise that kind of thing with brains like ours, and be lucky enough to find a helpful AND understanding therapist.