Krusties #19 Newbies pull up a chair, grab your drinks and be grateful there are no sinks

[Dollylovesshoes]

I have shower over my bath,but this old bugger can’t get in the bath,me legs are not strong enough.

 

[midsummer blue]

Yes Midsummer you fill it when you’re in there. They seem to have a lot of safety features too.

Bless you. To be honest our plumber is not a fan, he says they’re crap. But they are very popular abroad and I know in Italy they can adapt your existing bath to a walk in one.

I want to get a new bath with those handles on but they’re not that common these days.

My idea for everyone would be a power hose and you stand there in your bikini and are hosed down then buffed to perfection. I don’t think Dyson will be contacting me anytime soon.

take care

I wouldn’t have the patience to sit in it and wait for it to fill up. Especially in the winter.
I have a bath with handles on. I was lucky, my plumber found one. He doesn’t like the new style baths.

 

[MrsEms]

Hey gang,

I've been a busy bee. Trying to catch up so I can have some time off in mid-August and the price I pay for that is burning the candle at both ends beforehand. I've got some really heavy cases at the moment, and as my big boss keeps telling me, "Brah, you simply don't have the ability to say no." If I am representing a client, it's all or nothing. I couldn't do it any other way. We are talking homeless asylum-seeking youngsters, young Mums potentially having their babies removed by the local authority and maltreatment from foster families. It's heavy-duty stuff, and I specialise in children's law and their rights and entitlements, especially when care experienced.

Anyhow, you lovely bunch always make me smile. Mrs Ems, I bloody love you - you have the best turn of phrase, and anything that you write invariably has me either giggling or displaying a knowing smile. I bet you are amazing fun in real life. You remind me of the Irish comedian Joanne McNally. She has a great podcast with Vogue Williams - "my therapist ghosted me." I listen to it whilst I am driving around the county, trying not to stress about my cases, and it provides light relief. I have now started thinking, 'MrsEms would say that'. Oh God, you'll listen to it and hate it....perhaps not, though.

My 16-year-old son arrived home tonight after two weeks away with his Dad and Step Mum exploring Europe. His twin sister stayed at home with me. She has missed him so much (it's the longest they have ever been apart), and their reunion was akin to a Hollywood blockbuster. Yes, I had a teary moment, but it was so lovely. Then the dogs realised he was home, and a whole new level of chaos ensued.

Harri - I am a shower girl and often twice a day. Baths freak me out as I don't like the idea of lying in my dirty water, and I like to wash my hair and invariably think it will be covered in residue from the bubbles. And I shudder at the thought of barf bombs. I would love to indulge in a hot bubbly bath with candles, champagne, and music, but I just don't get the appeal. And I hate the bit at the end where you have to climb out, and you are wet and cold. My one luxury would be a chamber that you could enter after a shower or bath, and it would magically dry you - a bit like a body-sized Dyson hand dryer. If it extracted a bit of cellulite as a bonus, that would be better still.

Ems, bolognese sounds divine. I have been an accidental vegetarian for the past few months, but I do miss a slow-cooked bolognese then baked in the oven to make the best pasta bake - lots of mozzarella on top and a big handful of peppery rocket on the side. That was my death row meal until I somehow stopped eating meat. It wasn't a deliberate decision, and it's easier in the summer. I'm salivating at the thought of pasta bake.

Notty, please don't go however, if you feel you must, please make it temporary. Even if it's a random emoji every now and again, so we know you are ok?

Midsummer, I also have an app on my phone - my teenagers love it though as they can tell where I am as well as the other way round. Works for us. Life 360

I'm off to have a thimble of wine and watch crap TV for half an hour. I'll tell you about my disastrous hairdressing visit tomorrow!

Oh and my keyboard is playing up. My L and N aren't working. FFS

Love to you all. Sweet dreams.

Aww Brah, what a lovely compliment! I do like Joanne McNally so if we're similar then perhaps I'm not such the irritating fucker I thought I was? I think you're bloody lovely too and I reckon we'd have a great time
I bet you were so happy to see your son earlier and after that lovely moment did he go straight for the fridge...my son does! Hollow legs my boy
Apparently my spag bol was good, I wouldn't know as I didn't eat it I like the method of making it, the thought of eating it but when it comes to it I just stare at it and think meh...I don't like it

Morning all
Today is the day my doggy is having his bollocks removed. Just thought I'd let you all know I did try to tell him but he'll find out for himself when he goes in for a lick later. Oh saying that he'll have a lampshade on his head, oh bless him

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

Aww Brah, what a lovely compliment! I do like Joanne McNally so if we're similar then perhaps I'm not such the irritating fucker I thought I was? I think you're bloody lovely too and I reckon we'd have a great time
I bet you were so happy to see your son earlier and after that lovely moment did he go straight for the fridge...my son does! Hollow legs my boy
Apparently my spag bol was good, I wouldn't know as I didn't eat it I like the method of making it, the thought of eating it but when it comes to it I just stare at it and think meh...I don't like it

Morning all
Today is the day my doggy is having his bollocks removed. Just thought I'd let you all know I did try to tell him but he'll find out for himself when he goes in for a lick later. Oh saying that he'll have a lampshade on his head, oh bless him

Morning Ems,I used to have hollow legs as a kid,when mum and dad was at work,I’d come home from school,lady downstairs would get mum a crusty seedy loaf,mum would come home from work and there was just a lump of bread with no crusts onshe went mad.greedy bugger me,poor mum get home put her pinny on over her coat, whilst she prepared our dinner,poor cow working in factory all day lining suitcases.

Oh poor doggy Arfur Bollockov.Have you one of those cushion shades?They are fab for them to sleep in.We will all be thinking of him.Bless.

 

[Harrigan]

Whoo hoo I’ve just won £10,000! I guessed the actor in the grid. I’m so clever I got him in 2 seconds! Oh wait a minute I have to phone somebody. Oh well, nice while it lasted.

Bless him good luck to your dog MrsEms he will feel light as a feather after the op. Now if only some men could have it done too. Only joking.

Bless you you must eat all your hard work you deserve it lovey.

Bless you Dolly hope you are ok in the shower.

Midsummer give me your address I’ll be popping in to test your bath handles.

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

Ems,Love this.

Amazon product

 

[MrsEms]

Ems,Love this.

Amazon product

Omg this is brilliant, I just clicked on it and sent it to MrEms
He just messaged back, no Emma!

Harri, I had a m&s scotch egg afterwards! Yummy hit the spot!

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

Omg this is brilliant, I just clicked on it and sent it to MrEms
He just messaged back, no Emma!

Harri, I had a m&s scotch egg afterwards! Yummy hit the spot!

Oh naughty MrEms.Oh I love a scotch egg.Ems have you tried Caldron veggi sausages?i love em,love their Lincolnshire ones.

 

[Rita Chevrolet]

Yes Midsummer you fill it when you’re in there. They seem to have a lot of safety features too.

Bless you. To be honest our plumber is not a fan, he says they’re crap. But they are very popular abroad and I know in Italy they can adapt your existing bath to a walk in one.

I want to get a new bath with those handles on but they’re not that common these days.

My idea for everyone would be a power hose and you stand there in your bikini and are hosed down then buffed to perfection. I don’t think Dyson will be contacting me anytime soon.

take care

Right; These new-fangled walk-in baths. Surely you have to sit there in the nud for 30 minutes whilst the darned thing fills up (not much fun if your hot water supply is slow and the heating is off), thats not even mentioning if the flaming courier turning up at that exact time with the parcel you've been waiting for over a week?? Nah I'll stick with the shower ta. We have a bath in the bathroom upstairs which OH likes but its small, narrow and deep and fits exactly into the alcove, theres not enough room to turn around in it unless you are a contortionist therefore I don't use it because I'd need OH to haul me out of it once I'd got in! I have not quite accepted that I am so ancient and decrepit that I need help getting in and out of the bath LOL

 

[MrsEms]

Oh naughty MrEms.Oh I love a scotch egg.Ems have you tried Caldron veggi sausages?i love em,love their Lincolnshire ones.

I haven't try those sausages. Tried other ones a few years ago but I used to find them a bit firm. There is alot more choice now.

MrEms has made me laugh this morning. He had a new vape/e cig and I walked into his office earlier and it was like something out of 'Stars in their Eyes'...he was lost in a big fog of smoke I could just make out his shiny bald head underneath! I could literally hear him say "tonight Matthew I'm going to be... oh my, so funny!

Think he needs to turn it down

 

[Harrigan]

I haven't try those sausages. Tried other ones a few years ago but I used to find them a bit firm. There is alot more choice now.

MrEms has made me laugh this morning. He had a new vape/e cig and I walked into his office earlier and it was like something out of 'Stars in their Eyes'...he was lost in a big fog of smoke I could just make out his shiny bald head underneath! I could literally hear him say "tonight Matthew I'm going to be... oh my, so funny!

Think he needs to turn it down

A bit firm! Lol!

I had a veggie sausage on The Channel Tunnel, what’s the train called? Anyway it was as you say firm and strange tasting, not keen!

lol! That was such a naff programme. Have you seen a similar show I caught where 3 people are dressed as their idols. Imagine 3 Dolly Partons!

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

A bit firm! Lol!

I had a veggie sausage on The Channel Tunnel, what’s the train called? Anyway it was as you say firm and strange tasting, not keen!

lol! That was such a naff programme. Have you seen a similar show I caught where 3 people are dressed as their idols. Imagine 3 Dolly Partons!

My supervisor was on there,she was Tpau singer Carol Decker

 

[MrsEms]

A bit firm! Lol!

I had a veggie sausage on The Channel Tunnel, what’s the train called? Anyway it was as you say firm and strange tasting, not keen!

lol! That was such a naff programme. Have you seen a similar show I caught where 3 people are dressed as their idols. Imagine 3 Dolly Partons!

Well I wouldn't want a floppy sausage either but...hanger banger, I can see where this is going

I bloody loved stars in their eyes on a Saturday night Yes it was naff but good old family entertainment! I wanted to be madonna and sing material girl I'd make a better dolly Parton these days though

My supervisor was on there,she was Tpau singer Carol Decker

Carol Decker, didn't she sing china in your hands?

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

Here you go my supervisor Mary,she was a lovely lady,she was in a group which was quite good.

 

[MrsEms]

Here you go my supervisor Mary,she was a lovely lady,she was in a group which was quite good.

Wow she's brilliant, great transformation too! Aww I wish they'd bring it back now in it's original format. I think I've seen the programme harri mentioned once, does ring a bell Didn't seem to take off!

 

[Harrigan]

Here you go my supervisor Mary,she was a lovely lady,she was in a group which was quite good.

Are you still in touch with her? She was really good. Sorry Dolly, I’ve put my foot in it again!

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

Wow she's brilliant, great transformation too! Aww I wish they'd bring it back now in it's original format. I think I've seen the programme harri mentioned once, does ring a bell Didn't seem to take off!

She has a terrific voice,she was my supervisor when I worked in Farnborough Hampshire(usedvto travel from London) Shecwas real funny as well always a giggle,she nicknamed me Cor Blimey as I was a east ender.

Are you still in touch with her? She was really good. Sorry Dolly, I’ve put my foot in it again!

No you haven’t,some of acts were embarrassing,no haven’t heard from her,I got transferred back to London thank god,she left the job.Butbwe did have some laughs together,she was a cat lover as well,I stayed at Her house couple of times after we’d all been out,her cat slept with me his name was Nelson.

 

[Harrigan]

Starstruck: the bizarre twist on Stars in Their Eyes

Three strangers all pretending to be the same celeb! One of the oddest judging panels ever! Olly Murs! ITV’s bombastic new singing contest is very, very bad

www.theguardian.com

It’s this I was on about. I only saw it as I was flicking channels.

 

[Dollylovesshoes]

Starstruck: the bizarre twist on Stars in Their Eyes

Three strangers all pretending to be the same celeb! One of the oddest judging panels ever! Olly Murs! ITV’s bombastic new singing contest is very, very bad

www.theguardian.com

It’s this I was on about. I only saw it as I was flicking channels.

Oh dear,never watched that one,I can’t stand Olly Marsbar.

 

[Stapleyourtongue]

Well I wouldn't want a floppy sausage either but...hanger banger, I can see where this is going

I bloody loved stars in their eyes on a Saturday night Yes it was naff but good old family entertainment! I wanted to be madonna and sing material girl I'd make a better dolly Parton these days though



Carol Decker, didn't she sing china in your hands?

If I did Stars in their eyes I would be Axl Rose. My OH said I do a good impression of him in my biker boots