I'm only writing this with the intent that Keelin sees it - I haven't been on here in months due to seeing a counsellor who helped me overcome past trauma and I feel no hate towards Keelin at all anymore. Intense hatred of any person is due to seeing their qualities in ourselves, and I saw in a tiktok today she posted a thing about checking under her bed for monsters. This is absolutely normal for someone suffering from unresolved trauma, and I just want to suggest to Keelin to see a Jungian/psychodynamic trained counsellor to help her become happy. When I became happy with myself I stopped hating her. A Jungian therapist will help embrace your creativity and help you improve your relationship with your partner and family - and most importantly finding happiness in living your life authentically as you are without shame. I just want to warn against exposing your own daughter to your narcissistic mother - your child will hate you for it Keelin I'm sorry but I think you know this yourself deep inside. Doing what's best for your mental health, is doing what is best for your daughter. To paraphrase Jung, "there is nothing worse for a child's development than the unlived life of a mother". Your mother is ruining your life, your feelings towards her are completely valid and poetry is helping you heal, and I wish nothing but the best for you and your child. The difficult option of cutting out a toxic parent is the only way to happiness, narcissist's don't feel empathy even our own mothers.