If you read Dan Wootons (sp?) column in the DM it would seam the media is catching up
Not foreboding as such...Hope, maybe??
Katie Price #79 Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Tried to drive a beemer fell out the other side
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There's something very camp about Carl.
I love this article, the headline is beautiful.
www.dailymail.co.uk
EXCLUSIVE: 'Selfish mother' Katie Price may be kept away from some of her children as ex-husbands Kieran Hayler and Peter Andre send legal letters over her Las Vegas wedding to Carl Woods
Katie Price may be distanced from her children over Vegas wedding
Katie Price could be kept away from some of her children if she marries Carl Woods in Las Vegas , according to pals of her ex-husband Kieran Hayler.
EXCLUSIVE: 'Selfish mother' Katie Price may be kept away from some of her children as ex-husbands Kieran Hayler and Peter Andre send legal letters over her Las Vegas wedding to Carl Woods
Ooh, he thinks he’s a right sort!
We think otherwise.....Ooh, he thinks he’s a right sort!
Nah, that was All SaintsRemember when he said 'Never,ever, ever have I felt so low', wonder what he's like feeling now when he sees the papers - the "corruptive papers"
What happened when he was re bailed, has that date come back up yet ?
Staytmunt frum Kaytee Pryse
Rite. Pete's a bleep.
Sew has u owl no, eye am ear in Vaygus wive the WUN, my prints chow mein, me furevva luv, Coyle Wud aint eye. Pete you wanka.
Littal did eye no that he wuz ownlee gun an got me da BIGGIST serpryze ov em all. Da wun fing eye bin dreemin abat sints eye fursd saw im, jet washan a Ford Kapree on da fourcort ov Dagginhim Dodgee Motahs innit Pete you bleep. So dis serpryze wuz lyke so brilyant, so hunhexpektid an jusd proofs fur reel ow it woz owl ment two bee. Eye cudden beeleev it. Sew shoked. Eed ownlee gun an bukked us an owl u kan eet buffit at Sirkus Sirkus didn ee?? Woooooo....
Eye luv Vaygus. Eevun if Coyle as bin ear beefour on ateeen too furty to ollydayze an stuf. Eye meen, furty to tymes to Vaygus? Eye fink furty to musd av sum sikniveecants or summink cuz e is firty to, eyve ad furty to fayce lifs, ees gut furty to vinears, eye way furty to stowne...ennyweigh..Pete you bleep.
So...wooooooo. Eyme ownlee gunna get mareed ear aint eye? Fineallie me an my Printz Chow Mein are gunna av da wedden ov my dreems, know fuss, know drarmer, jus me, Coyle, my PR team, his PR team, Dane Bowels mum, a Kerree Catowna cardbord cut owt, Peers Morgen an that fat burd from that top rayted show I wuz on Stef, frum Stefs Paked fingy. Pete you tossa. Wooooo.
So eye am harsken u now two giv me an Coyle are privaycee as we beecum a mareed cuppal an arsk u two reespekd are wishsays. Ohan buy da way, u can sea owl da hexkloosif fotoes in nex weeks HoKay magazeen. Pete you bleep. Wooooo....
Rite. Pete's a bleep.
Sew has u owl no, eye am ear in Vaygus wive the WUN, my prints chow mein, me furevva luv, Coyle Wud aint eye. Pete you wanka.
Littal did eye no that he wuz ownlee gun an got me da BIGGIST serpryze ov em all. Da wun fing eye bin dreemin abat sints eye fursd saw im, jet washan a Ford Kapree on da fourcort ov Dagginhim Dodgee Motahs innit Pete you bleep. So dis serpryze wuz lyke so brilyant, so hunhexpektid an jusd proofs fur reel ow it woz owl ment two bee. Eye cudden beeleev it. Sew shoked. Eed ownlee gun an bukked us an owl u kan eet buffit at Sirkus Sirkus didn ee?? Woooooo....
Eye luv Vaygus. Eevun if Coyle as bin ear beefour on ateeen too furty to ollydayze an stuf. Eye meen, furty to tymes to Vaygus? Eye fink furty to musd av sum sikniveecants or summink cuz e is firty to, eyve ad furty to fayce lifs, ees gut furty to vinears, eye way furty to stowne...ennyweigh..Pete you bleep.
So...wooooooo. Eyme ownlee gunna get mareed ear aint eye? Fineallie me an my Printz Chow Mein are gunna av da wedden ov my dreems, know fuss, know drarmer, jus me, Coyle, my PR team, his PR team, Dane Bowels mum, a Kerree Catowna cardbord cut owt, Peers Morgen an that fat burd from that top rayted show I wuz on Stef, frum Stefs Paked fingy. Pete you tossa. Wooooo.
So eye am harsken u now two giv me an Coyle are privaycee as we beecum a mareed cuppal an arsk u two reespekd are wishsays. Ohan buy da way, u can sea owl da hexkloosif fotoes in nex weeks HoKay magazeen. Pete you bleep. Wooooo....
*seem
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Kieran posts a few messages to Pete and meets him at a club for faded 90s stars. They sit, wafting tinsel curtain out of their eyes. Strands stick to Pete's greased back hair and they have a manly laugh together, clinking their martinis.
They adjust their too tight trousers and sweat, in a hip and groovy way.
Pete admires Kieran's hands and his foxy eyes, whilst wondering if the same would suit him. He reminds himself to ask for the dr's number.
They quickly get down to the real matter.
'nah ven Kieran you mofo, what we guys gonna do bowt Katie da witch? Ah mean, I've enough geezering on wiv young junior teaching me ow to frow gang signs, look, like dis brrrrro'
They amuse themselves with gang signs. Neither are aware that Pete is confused and is actually teaching Kieran 'wassup you pussy, fancy some cock' and the street sign for 'chips wiv scraps please lady'. Pete gets overly ambitious and dislocates his thumb.
'wotchoo suggest Pete. Ya bleep.'
Pete looks up.
'er, i meant wotchoo suggest we do wiv tha bleep mate'
They shake their heads. The oil from their hair slurps off like a torpedoed slug and lands in an empty dish on the bar. Jarvis Cocker walks past and dunks his burger in.
'Well she's not fuckin seein Prinny and Jooonyer. Not today anyway. I'm makin a stand. Joonyer' s too busy learning voicetune an havin lessons in come hither eyes, he's too busy man, he's famous.
Prinny, well she was gutted for 23 minutes but she put er pink tracky on to honour her muvva cos she's a good girl, an is doin some pouting for the gram.'
He waits to hear how the younger children are coping.
Kieran flicks his tongue out several times.
' ow about the little uns? They copin? '
Kieran nods.
' yeah man. Bunny misses her mam lots mate, she loves the arse of her. You bleep.
The other un, the lad, Jeff, Er, Jed. He's the same obvs but shy so he's quiet'
Pete tries to catch Kieran's eye but they're both whizzing around like spokes on a bike.
He is slowly realising something isn't quite right.
'Kieran mate, you ok?'
Kieran shrugs.
'I like your jacket Kieran, you were always a sharp dresser just like me. Not sure bowt the trackybottoms tho, your tight jeans look well smarter.'
Kieran crosses his legs and sweats.
Pete stares as the sweat on Kieran's forehead drips, revealing a startling streak of thick black marker pen going from above his eye to the forehead. And beyond.
' oi Kieran. How's your OF goin mate? Yer cum face looked fuckin hot last time. You gonna flash me yer chocolate starfish again mate, that was so funny!'
A pause.
In a cold voice Pete continues.
'i dare ya mate. For old times. Dare ya.'
And Kieran just cannot resist a dare, ever.
They both walk to the gents, nodding to Ricky Martin and little Mark Owen on the way.
Inside the cubicle Kieran edges down his tracksuit bottoms and thrusts his chocolate starfish at Pete. Pete moves his fringe out of the way and looks closely.
'Can i touch it?' he asks.
'Fucks sake. Just once'.
Pete peers, Pete touches, Pete inhales and peers again.
'There's only one chocolate starfish in the world that looks like a burnt casserole.'
Kieran stands up slowly, removing his wig and his teeth guards. The room glows with light and Vanilla Ice leaps to his pose thinking it's a camera.
Standing in front of Pete, to his horror, is katie
To be continued....
They adjust their too tight trousers and sweat, in a hip and groovy way.
Pete admires Kieran's hands and his foxy eyes, whilst wondering if the same would suit him. He reminds himself to ask for the dr's number.
They quickly get down to the real matter.
'nah ven Kieran you mofo, what we guys gonna do bowt Katie da witch? Ah mean, I've enough geezering on wiv young junior teaching me ow to frow gang signs, look, like dis brrrrro'
They amuse themselves with gang signs. Neither are aware that Pete is confused and is actually teaching Kieran 'wassup you pussy, fancy some cock' and the street sign for 'chips wiv scraps please lady'. Pete gets overly ambitious and dislocates his thumb.
'wotchoo suggest Pete. Ya bleep.'
Pete looks up.
'er, i meant wotchoo suggest we do wiv tha bleep mate'
They shake their heads. The oil from their hair slurps off like a torpedoed slug and lands in an empty dish on the bar. Jarvis Cocker walks past and dunks his burger in.
'Well she's not fuckin seein Prinny and Jooonyer. Not today anyway. I'm makin a stand. Joonyer' s too busy learning voicetune an havin lessons in come hither eyes, he's too busy man, he's famous.
Prinny, well she was gutted for 23 minutes but she put er pink tracky on to honour her muvva cos she's a good girl, an is doin some pouting for the gram.'
He waits to hear how the younger children are coping.
Kieran flicks his tongue out several times.
' ow about the little uns? They copin? '
Kieran nods.
' yeah man. Bunny misses her mam lots mate, she loves the arse of her. You bleep.
The other un, the lad, Jeff, Er, Jed. He's the same obvs but shy so he's quiet'
Pete tries to catch Kieran's eye but they're both whizzing around like spokes on a bike.
He is slowly realising something isn't quite right.
'Kieran mate, you ok?'
Kieran shrugs.
'I like your jacket Kieran, you were always a sharp dresser just like me. Not sure bowt the trackybottoms tho, your tight jeans look well smarter.'
Kieran crosses his legs and sweats.
Pete stares as the sweat on Kieran's forehead drips, revealing a startling streak of thick black marker pen going from above his eye to the forehead. And beyond.
' oi Kieran. How's your OF goin mate? Yer cum face looked fuckin hot last time. You gonna flash me yer chocolate starfish again mate, that was so funny!'
A pause.
In a cold voice Pete continues.
'i dare ya mate. For old times. Dare ya.'
And Kieran just cannot resist a dare, ever.
They both walk to the gents, nodding to Ricky Martin and little Mark Owen on the way.
Inside the cubicle Kieran edges down his tracksuit bottoms and thrusts his chocolate starfish at Pete. Pete moves his fringe out of the way and looks closely.
'Can i touch it?' he asks.
'Fucks sake. Just once'.
Pete peers, Pete touches, Pete inhales and peers again.
'There's only one chocolate starfish in the world that looks like a burnt casserole.'
Kieran stands up slowly, removing his wig and his teeth guards. The room glows with light and Vanilla Ice leaps to his pose thinking it's a camera.
Standing in front of Pete, to his horror, is katie
To be continued....
Can’t stand Dan W usually.. but absolutely she should be jailed. Going to Las Vegas is an absolute pisstake. She’s meant to be full of regret! Hope this goes against her with her sentencing.
Just can’t when idiots say “mind your own business”, Katie makes her life public to her advantage, of course we have a right to an opinion
Just can’t when idiots say “mind your own business”, Katie makes her life public to her advantage, of course we have a right to an opinion
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I'm still looking for the chicken in her burger .. all I can see is bun .. salad and mayo .. I reckon the biffa has it hidden in her belly already ..
Plagiarised half from my thread title suggestion, but hey ho!
She can't even spell...
i thought the number plate said buy a zoo lol
hahaha ukvegasvip budget travel!
I'm always gonna look as Crawl as Prince Chow Mein now hahahaha with his prawn (crackers) new bride LOL!!!
It's been hours and I'm still cackling to myself over 'Amy bleeping Price'. I was just dropping off to sleep then made myself laugh again!
Brilliant
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