It had been a lovely evening, KP and Carl had enjoyed listening to classical music, discussing her latest book, a biography about Plato and enjoying Carl’s culinary creation of bœuf bourguignon and a mint chocolate pavlova accompanied by a bottle of Garrus Rosé 2017, when Carl announced it was time for bed.
They stood up and Carl switched on the main light of their crystal chandelier and as he turned to switch off the Art Deco table lamp he smiled at KP.
The resulting glare from his 10000 watt teeth plus the dazzle from the chandelier momentarily blinded poor KP and she blundered forward, her arms outstretched and she stood on a rake and the handle rose up and whacked her in the face!
KP staggered back and as her eyesight returned she began to berate Carl for leaving his gardening equipment on the floor and a vicious verbal slanging match ensued.
Neighbours heard the row and called the police and Carl was arrested for the reckless endangerment of his beloved KP.
It was only later that KP realised the truth after reading a police report that the rake was not Carl’s and not used for the garden but was in fact left by Gary Cockerill earlier on in the day and was a large hairdressing tool he had used to comb through her matted hair extensions.
It’s going to be interesting when this comes to court and KP will have to admit her luscious locks are not her own but were harvested from a hard up water spaniel somewhere in Slovakia, dyed and then were sewn onto her bonce.
Carl will be exonerated but ordered to wear a dark tinted grill over his whiter than white gnashers as they exceed the legal amount of glare but he will go on to get an advertising contract from Daz who are now remarketing their washing powder as a tooth whitening product.
Dolly, was Dave out the night of the alleged assault?
But...but, the Scum says she's already a famous glamour model, tv personality and author! What does she need to come back from? I mean, how much better can she get..
(Where's Bunnycuddles when you need her)
Was that from BunnyCuddles or the MoRon
I haven’t had any children either Dolly. My dogs are my babies.
Today I met this gorgeous little seal on Sea Palling beach in Norfolk. I phoned the seal rescue people in case it was in peril as was on its own. They said it was fine if it could move around. I kept Wilma and Geoffrey away from it and took this snap. I wish I didn’t worry about every creature and
I’m angry with them. As long as the pets are ok and the children, the creditors get their comeuppance. I hope this pair spontaneously combust in a frenzy of teeth, tan and media self love.I AM SO BORED WITH THEM.
Guess where my first ever house was when I was hatched?Last seen downing a litre of Frosty Jack and enjoying some Spice in Jaywick Sands
I'm going forBrilliant idea. I’m going for Shergar, what are the odds on that please?
Are you allowed to leave the country if you're on bail? Surely this is another red herring thrown by her pr people?
Brilliant that actually made me laugh out loudThe comment on this cracked me up
Keep em votes coming folksKatie Price #65 Slagatha Christie think’s she’s so smart, but we all know she’s just a washed up old tart!
I think I love you Palomina,It had been a lovely evening, KP and Carl had enjoyed listening to classical music, discussing her latest book, a biography about Plato and enjoying Carl’s culinary creation of bœuf bourguignon and a mint chocolate pavlova accompanied by a bottle of Garrus Rosé 2017, when Carl announced it was time for bed.
They stood up and Carl switched on the main light of their crystal chandelier and as he turned to switch off the Art Deco table lamp he smiled at KP.
The resulting glare from his 10000 watt teeth plus the dazzle from the chandelier momentarily blinded poor KP and she blundered forward, her arms outstretched and she stood on a rake and the handle rose up and whacked her in the face!
KP staggered back and as her eyesight returned she began to berate Carl for leaving his gardening equipment on the floor and a vicious verbal slanging match ensued.
Neighbours heard the row and called the police and Carl was arrested for the reckless endangerment of his beloved KP.
It was only later that KP realised the truth after reading a police report that the rake was not Carl’s and not used for the garden but was in fact left by Gary Cockerill earlier on in the day and was a large hairdressing tool he had used to comb through her matted hair extensions.
It’s going to be interesting when this comes to court and KP will have to admit her luscious locks are not her own but were harvested from a hard up water spaniel somewhere in Slovakia, dyed and then were sewn onto her bonce.
Carl will be exonerated but ordered to wear a dark tinted grill over his whiter than white gnashers as they exceed the legal amount of glare but he will go on to get an advertising contract from Daz who are now remarketing their washing powder as a tooth whitening product.
If Minxmonx can plug their thread suggestions, then so can I. Ooh I've become a lairy all of a sudden#65 Will the real Carl and Katie Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up? Actually, don't bother Eminem don't give a...
I agree. The fact is that had this happened back in the day she'd have flashed her tits at the cops (not literally obviously) turned on that famousI think something did happen that night and KP accused coal of something. She then later decided she did not want to press charges. But due to it being DV it's out of her hands the police will still try to pursue it but her withdrawing her original statement makes it harder for the cps to go ahead with a prosecution the case will be dropped. His bail conditions would have meant he couldn't contact Katie so they have kept a very low profile until it's dropped. Surprise surprise
I got a bit carried away in the heat of the moment.If Minxmonx can plug their thread suggestions, then so can I. Ooh I've become a lairy all of a suddenCome on, you know wanna! Huhumn, sorry, back in my box
Bring it on, but I hope those nails are clippedI got a bit carried away in the heat of the moment.
All out thread title war now
Agree, plus she had a good management team behind her back in her hey day. It’s basically any old Tom Dick or Harry who take care of these things for her now. They must be doing it on a shoestring too with her debts and barely there income.I agree. The fact is that had this happened back in the day she'd have flashed her tits at the cops (not literally obviously) turned on that famouscharm and they'd be reduced to babbling morons eating out of her hands and happy to tidy up her mess. No press, no scandal, no problem Katie sweetie. But she's lost her touch and now she's just another potential DV statistic that they'll handle by the book to keep themselves right.
Changed times old girl, and about time she was forced to provide answers when she pisses on her own doorstep and expects the cops to mop it up..
Pay peanuts and you get monkeysAgree, plus she had a good management team behind her back in her hey day. It’s basically any old Tom Dick or Harry who take care of these things for her now. They must be doing it on a shoestring too with her debts and barely there income.
The nails are clipped, the sleeves rolled up, the gloves are off…ding dingBring it on, but I hope those nails are clipped
Some monkeys are quite intelligent though? What about those PG tip monkeys or the Gorilla that could play in the air tonight by Phil Collins?Pay peanuts and you get monkeys
Turns to coach in corner.." I thought you said they were a pussycat? Coach.. "Which bit of a pussycat did you not understand?"The nails are clipped, the sleeves rolled up, the gloves are off…ding ding
Speaking of Monkeys, the Brassmonkeez podcasts have covered Ms Price a few times. They're on YouTube I think. The PGThe nails are clipped, the sleeves rolled up, the gloves are off…ding ding
Some monkeys are quite intelligent though? What about those PG tip monkeys or the Gorilla that could play in the air tonight by Phil Collins?
Operator error....were brilliant when I was a younger. Never to be seen again. More talent in a Chimp thumb than an entire Price.Turns to coach in corner.." I thought you said they were a pussycat? Coach.. "Which bit of a pussycat did you not understand?"
Speaking of Monkeys, the Brassmonkeez podcasts have covered Ms Price a few times. They're on YouTube I think. The PG
I think I'll just quit nowTurns to coach in corner.." I thought you said they were a pussycat? Coach.. "Which bit of a pussycat did you not understand?"
Speaking of Monkeys, the Brassmonkeez podcasts have covered Ms Price a few times. They're on YouTube I think. The PG
Operator error....were brilliant when I was a younger. Never to be seen again. More talent in a Chimp thumb than an entire Price.
Elvis has left the buildingTurns to coach in corner.." I thought you said they were a pussycat? Coach.. "Which bit of a pussycat did you not understand?"
Speaking of Monkeys, the Brassmonkeez podcasts have covered Ms Price a few times. They're on YouTube I think. The PG
Operator error....were brilliant when I was a younger. Never to be seen again. More talent in a Chimp thumb than an entire Price.
I think I'll just quit now
Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight? Are you sorry we drifted apart?Uhuhh
TrueThe nails are clipped, the sleeves rolled up, the gloves are off…ding ding
Some monkeys are quite intelligent though? What about those PG tip monkeys or the Gorilla that could play in the air tonight by Phil Collins?
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