Katie Hayes #88 Hollie did you enjoy KHM’s hen do?

[Boobies]

Just showed this to my gammon his response was "ducking hell that's like the difference between Gemma Collins and Reese Witherspoon. How the duck does she get away with that?"

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

BALEARIC BOTHERER!

Someone get me a defib, I am bleeping dead!

 

[Lmkgirl]

Ibiza diaries continued..

Ocean Beach. Where. To. bleeping. Start...
Human ballbag and Operation Yewtree candidate, Cloudhead Lineker, arranged for Kate and ‘her’ hens to have the ‘best bed’. Hours later, he clearly couldn’t remember where he’d stuck her, what with it being such an exclusive bed and all, and was pointed in her direction to give us one of the finest moments in Tattle history.

Followed by a group of girls in masks holding up letters spelling K A T E despite them being there for H O L L I E’s hen party, Captain Birdseye surprised Kate while she was mid rant at a group of people she thought were filming her who were actually filming the Crypt Keeper on his way to her. Errr, helllloooo Kate, you’re not that bleeping famous. Cue Kate trying to deflect from her being a total narcissistic witch by going straight in for tongues with the Balearic Botherer. Her attempts at trying to divert attention were futile though as not even Jesus and the Holy Spirit coming down from heaven to do a DJ set could distract from the sight of her lolloping all over the bed with her dolphin-smooth mini being cheese gratered into thrush by that god-awful costume. Canesten at the ready, Kate..

Monday morning, Kate has managed to pick the majority of the swimming costume out from between her arse cheeks, and the most important part of the family, the car seat, has arrived safely. The child who is surgically attached to it has also arrived without a hat, sunblock, parasol, or the slightest clue who the lady waving her phone in her face is. Fear not, young Olive’s memory was jogged when she saw the hotel they were staying at and she realised that the lady was her selfish Ma. Who else would book a completely unsuitable adults only hotel to take her almost one year old to but Miss KH Makeup? As long as it looks good for the gram though, eh Kate?? Hopefully Olive has brought her guitar and will be able to entertain the other guests with a fully Spanish version of ‘Bate, Bate, Chocolate’ in between ordering the drinks for the pair of selfish fuckwits she’s been stuck with as parents...

Priorities have remained exactly the same for the UK’s most well-fed couple as they’ve hired a car and decided to make full use of the car seat - they might as well after spending so long giving the poor kid curvature of the spine, why waste all that effort? They were last spotted feeding their faces again whilst Olive watched them over the top of the car seat. Unbeknownst to the Makeups however, she’s also switching the pram’s electric motor on and off and slowly making her way down the hill to the airport to catch the 10pm flight back to John Lennon. Mez is on standby to pick her up and take her to Presthaven for a real holiday. God speed Olive, God speed.

As always, Read the Wiki..

Love it

 

[Heneghs]

View attachment 649506

Cybex must be mortified

 

[MagicCat]

Trying to justify why Olive is always in a car seat.
Bore off.

 

[Cheddar Chalpupa]

View attachment 649506

Fine, you need it for the car. But what about when you're going for a nice family walk, going on the beach, taking her for a mooch around the shops to buy her a stuffed toy from her first holiday (my bespoke still has 'Ernie' from her first hol at 3 months), taking her to play on the swings, stopping off at a tacky hotel for the kids disco, going in the baby pool for a dip (my mistake no baby pool where they are).

What is the point of being a family if you're not doing family stuff?

 

[8008135]

READ THE WIKI. Kate, go and buy a buggy and a sun hat for your baby you absolute wrongun. Leave the car seat IN the car. READ THE WIKI. You love Olive, that’s obvious but you are actively harming her by leaving her in that seat so much. It’s too hot, too confined and will stunt her growth and development. READ THE WIKI. She should be sat up, using her muscles, developing her social skills at the table with you and her dad with the air circulating all around her. That cannot happen in that seat. READ THE WIKI.

Instead of lying and making excuses just put her in a buggy OR carry her. READ THE WIKI. If you don’t like buggies then baby wearing is easy and safe. Babies love it and the wraps and slings come in loads of amazing colours and patterns. READ THE WIKI. My baby nephew is 15 months and we’ve all carried him in a baby sling as my sister wants it that way. He LOVES it and now he’s bigger he faces outwards so he can be present in the world. READ THE WIKI.

Just stop now because it’s really cruel to keep her in that seat all the time.
READ THE WIKI.

 

[Noteanoshade]

Hi Kate,

Hope your mini (maxi?) is okay. Ive had quiet a a few DM’s myself so I’ll share for you.

Get Matt to go to supermercado and get you some natural yoghurt.
A bit of Olive’s bum cream will sort the chaffing out from the costume.
Always remember to wipe front to back.

 

[FoxyNasa]

I’m really starting to think that mentally, Kate isn’t right.

Nothing is enough for her, constantly trying to do something bigger, better, extra. I’m all for a bit of striving to be at your best, but for Kate it never seems to be enough.

What is her end goal? She’s got a (tit admittedly) make up range, had a lovely house and has made it unsellable by not leaving it alone, got a lovely little girl,has friends that for whatever reason stick by her - but it’s still not enough.

She couldn’t just go for a nice family holiday. She had to go to a bespoke spa, had to hire a car to go bespoke places whilst Olive is wedged in a car seat being ignored.

I pity Olive when she gets a sibling, poor little angel is going to be pushed to one side whilst momma plays with her new toy. It’s quite obvious that Olive isn’t enough for her, the constant filtering of her pictures and trying to make Olive look like a different baby is testament to that.

At least she has nanny Mez, she’ll always be the best where she’s concerned

You talented troll you.

 

[Hereforthegossss]

Hahhahahahaha !! HI Kate
You having a good read waiting for your meal to come
Airlines let You take x2 large baby items for free - you still should have taken a buggy !!! Worst excuse I've ever heard ! You're so full of tit !!!
You love the car seat because it was free & you're waiting for someone to send you a free buggy !!!

 

[Whatsthefuss]

Had so many DM’s about the car seat, FYI it’s super safe.

So what if it’s safe, yeah it might be for 30mins not for 11months straight

 

[Rothsey]

Ibiza diaries continued..

Ocean Beach. Where. To. bleeping. Start...
Human ballbag and Operation Yewtree candidate, Cloudhead Lineker, arranged for Kate and ‘her’ hens to have the ‘best bed’. Hours later, he clearly couldn’t remember where he’d stuck her, what with it being such an exclusive bed and all, and was pointed in her direction to give us one of the finest moments in Tattle history.

Followed by a group of girls in masks holding up letters spelling K A T E despite them being there for H O L L I E’s hen party, Captain Birdseye surprised Kate while she was mid rant at a group of people she thought were filming her who were actually filming the Crypt Keeper on his way to her. Errr, helllloooo Kate, you’re not that bleeping famous. Cue Kate trying to deflect from her being a total narcissistic witch by going straight in for tongues with the Balearic Botherer. Her attempts at trying to divert attention were futile though as not even Jesus and the Holy Spirit coming down from heaven to do a DJ set could distract from the sight of her lolloping all over the bed with her dolphin-smooth mini being cheese gratered into thrush by that god-awful costume. Canesten at the ready, Kate..

Monday morning, Kate has managed to pick the majority of the swimming costume out from between her arse cheeks, and the most important part of the family, the car seat, has arrived safely. The child who is surgically attached to it has also arrived without a hat, sunblock, parasol, or the slightest clue who the lady waving her phone in her face is. Fear not, young Olive’s memory was jogged when she saw the hotel they were staying at and she realised that the lady was her selfish Ma. Who else would book a completely unsuitable adults only hotel to take her almost one year old to but Miss KH Makeup? As long as it looks good for the gram though, eh Kate?? Hopefully Olive has brought her guitar and will be able to entertain the other guests with a fully Spanish version of ‘Bate, Bate, Chocolate’ in between ordering the drinks for the pair of selfish fuckwits she’s been stuck with as parents...

Priorities have remained exactly the same for the UK’s most well-fed couple as they’ve hired a car and decided to make full use of the car seat - they might as well after spending so long giving the poor kid curvature of the spine, why waste all that effort? They were last spotted feeding their faces again whilst Olive watched them over the top of the car seat. Unbeknownst to the Makeups however, she’s also switching the pram’s electric motor on and off and slowly making her way down the hill to the airport to catch the 10pm flight back to John Lennon. Mez is on standby to pick her up and take her to Presthaven for a real holiday. God speed Olive, God speed.

As always, Read the Wiki..

Gods work there! Gods work x

 

[Eyeofthetiger]

Ibiza diaries continued..

Ocean Beach. Where. To. bleeping. Start...
Human ballbag and Operation Yewtree candidate, Cloudhead Lineker, arranged for Kate and ‘her’ hens to have the ‘best bed’. Hours later, he clearly couldn’t remember where he’d stuck her, what with it being such an exclusive bed and all, and was pointed in her direction to give us one of the finest moments in Tattle history.

Followed by a group of girls in masks holding up letters spelling K A T E despite them being there for H O L L I E’s hen party, Captain Birdseye surprised Kate while she was mid rant at a group of people she thought were filming her who were actually filming the Crypt Keeper on his way to her. Errr, helllloooo Kate, you’re not that bleeping famous. Cue Kate trying to deflect from her being a total narcissistic witch by going straight in for tongues with the Balearic Botherer. Her attempts at trying to divert attention were futile though as not even Jesus and the Holy Spirit coming down from heaven to do a DJ set could distract from the sight of her lolloping all over the bed with her dolphin-smooth mini being cheese gratered into thrush by that god-awful costume. Canesten at the ready, Kate..

Monday morning, Kate has managed to pick the majority of the swimming costume out from between her arse cheeks, and the most important part of the family, the car seat, has arrived safely. The child who is surgically attached to it has also arrived without a hat, sunblock, parasol, or the slightest clue who the lady waving her phone in her face is. Fear not, young Olive’s memory was jogged when she saw the hotel they were staying at and she realised that the lady was her selfish Ma. Who else would book a completely unsuitable adults only hotel to take her almost one year old to but Miss KH Makeup? As long as it looks good for the gram though, eh Kate?? Hopefully Olive has brought her guitar and will be able to entertain the other guests with a fully Spanish version of ‘Bate, Bate, Chocolate’ in between ordering the drinks for the pair of selfish fuckwits she’s been stuck with as parents...

Priorities have remained exactly the same for the UK’s most well-fed couple as they’ve hired a car and decided to make full use of the car seat - they might as well after spending so long giving the poor kid curvature of the spine, why waste all that effort? They were last spotted feeding their faces again whilst Olive watched them over the top of the car seat. Unbeknownst to the Makeups however, she’s also switching the pram’s electric motor on and off and slowly making her way down the hill to the airport to catch the 10pm flight back to John Lennon. Mez is on standby to pick her up and take her to Presthaven for a real holiday. God speed Olive, God speed.

As always, Read the Wiki..

This made me physically laugh out loud. Mr tiger nearly hit the ceiling he jumped so hard.

trolls, she’s had some quiet dms about the car seat and deffo hasn’t sat ignoring her bespoke who she missed sooooo much reading tattle. She just put the car seat in the hold, where it’s chucked on by luggage loaders then rolls around the hold and makes it dangerous to use. Easy peasy, ready for a drink drive and to strap your super petite 11 month old wearing 9-12 months clothing toddler into

 

[Rothsey]

Hahhahahahaha !! HI Kate
You having a good read waiting for your meal to come
Airlines let You take x2 large baby items for free - you still should have taken a buggy !!! Worst excuse I've ever heard ! You're so full of tit !!!
You love the car seat because it was free & you're waiting for someone to send you a free buggy !!!
View attachment 649531

At what point will they realise that pushing a buggy is easier than carrying a car seat and a baby? Does not compute with me at all.

 

[BellaRose.X89]

Hahhahahahaha !! HI Kate
You having a good read waiting for your meal to come
Airlines let You take x2 large baby items for free - you still should have taken a buggy !!! Worst excuse I've ever heard ! You're so full of tit !!!
You love the car seat because it was free & you're waiting for someone to send you a free buggy !!!
View attachment 649531

Am I right in thinking that they’ve just taken the car seat and not actually taken a buggy or the chassis for the car seat to go on?

 

[Hereforthegossss]

Have you ever known anyone blag so much about being the perfect mother , obsessed with parenting , it's the making of me , best thing that's ever happened to me..... but be so selfish , irresponsible and self absorbed at the same time !!

 

[BettyBeau]

Congratulations @BettyBeau for the title it’s hilarious and so apt

don’t even need a recap do we it’s been what 24 hours?! but @Eleanor Abernathy it would be rude not to because they’re just the best

READ THE WIKI!

xoxo

I’m honoured think this is my first ZSM thread title.

READ THE WIKI

and get your kid out the car seat

 

[Moodymargi]

Caught herself in the wing mirror - wheres the chiselled jaw Kate? Size of them Richmonds

 

[Violetx]

who the duck would message her to ask how she got a car seat on a plane??? Hi Kate

Kate’s followers trying to work out how a car seat got from Wirral to Ibiza.

 

[Eyeofthetiger]

Have you ever known anyone blag so much about being the perfect mother , obsessed with parenting , it's the making of me , best thing that's ever happened to me..... but be so selfish , irresponsible and self absorbed at the same time !!

I do have a friend that gave up work cause her child was the best thing that has ever happened to her, no ones life is worth living without child, she can’t bear to be without him etc, just like KHM… and the kids head is the flattest thing I have ever seen from being left in his car seat for hours at a time. Must be a tit parent thing?