Eleanor Abernathy
VIP Member
Ibiza diaries continued..
Ocean Beach. Where. To. Fucking. Start...
Human ballbag and Operation Yewtree candidate, Cloudhead Lineker, arranged for Kate and ‘her’ hens to have the ‘best bed’. Hours later, he clearly couldn’t remember where he’d stuck her, what with it being such an exclusive bed and all, and was pointed in her direction to give us one of the finest moments in Tattle history.
Followed by a group of girls in masks holding up letters spelling K A T E despite them being there for H O L L I E’s hen party, Captain Birdseye surprised Kate while she was mid rant at a group of people she thought were filming her who were actually filming the Crypt Keeper on his way to her. Errr, helllloooo Kate, you’re not that fucking famous. Cue Kate trying to deflect from her being a total narcissistic bitch by going straight in for tongues with the Balearic Botherer. Her attempts at trying to divert attention were futile though as not even Jesus and the Holy Spirit coming down from heaven to do a DJ set could distract from the sight of her lolloping all over the bed with her dolphin-smooth mini being cheese gratered into thrush by that god-awful costume. Canesten at the ready, Kate..
Monday morning, Kate has managed to pick the majority of the swimming costume out from between her arse cheeks, and the most important part of the family, the car seat, has arrived safely. The child who is surgically attached to it has also arrived without a hat, sunblock, parasol, or the slightest clue who the lady waving her phone in her face is. Fear not, young Olive’s memory was jogged when she saw the hotel they were staying at and she realised that the lady was her selfish Ma. Who else would book a completely unsuitable adults only hotel to take her almost one year old to but Miss KH Makeup? As long as it looks good for the gram though, eh Kate?? Hopefully Olive has brought her guitar and will be able to entertain the other guests with a fully Spanish version of ‘Bate, Bate, Chocolate’ in between ordering the drinks for the pair of selfish fuckwits she’s been stuck with as parents...
Priorities have remained exactly the same for the UK’s most well-fed couple as they’ve hired a car and decided to make full use of the car seat - they might as well after spending so long giving the poor kid curvature of the spine, why waste all that effort? They were last spotted feeding their faces again whilst Olive watched them over the top of the car seat. Unbeknownst to the Makeups however, she’s also switching the pram’s electric motor on and off and slowly making her way down the hill to the airport to catch the 10pm flight back to John Lennon. Mez is on standby to pick her up and take her to Presthaven for a real holiday. God speed Olive, God speed.
As always, Read the Wiki..
Ocean Beach. Where. To. Fucking. Start...
Human ballbag and Operation Yewtree candidate, Cloudhead Lineker, arranged for Kate and ‘her’ hens to have the ‘best bed’. Hours later, he clearly couldn’t remember where he’d stuck her, what with it being such an exclusive bed and all, and was pointed in her direction to give us one of the finest moments in Tattle history.
Followed by a group of girls in masks holding up letters spelling K A T E despite them being there for H O L L I E’s hen party, Captain Birdseye surprised Kate while she was mid rant at a group of people she thought were filming her who were actually filming the Crypt Keeper on his way to her. Errr, helllloooo Kate, you’re not that fucking famous. Cue Kate trying to deflect from her being a total narcissistic bitch by going straight in for tongues with the Balearic Botherer. Her attempts at trying to divert attention were futile though as not even Jesus and the Holy Spirit coming down from heaven to do a DJ set could distract from the sight of her lolloping all over the bed with her dolphin-smooth mini being cheese gratered into thrush by that god-awful costume. Canesten at the ready, Kate..
Monday morning, Kate has managed to pick the majority of the swimming costume out from between her arse cheeks, and the most important part of the family, the car seat, has arrived safely. The child who is surgically attached to it has also arrived without a hat, sunblock, parasol, or the slightest clue who the lady waving her phone in her face is. Fear not, young Olive’s memory was jogged when she saw the hotel they were staying at and she realised that the lady was her selfish Ma. Who else would book a completely unsuitable adults only hotel to take her almost one year old to but Miss KH Makeup? As long as it looks good for the gram though, eh Kate?? Hopefully Olive has brought her guitar and will be able to entertain the other guests with a fully Spanish version of ‘Bate, Bate, Chocolate’ in between ordering the drinks for the pair of selfish fuckwits she’s been stuck with as parents...
Priorities have remained exactly the same for the UK’s most well-fed couple as they’ve hired a car and decided to make full use of the car seat - they might as well after spending so long giving the poor kid curvature of the spine, why waste all that effort? They were last spotted feeding their faces again whilst Olive watched them over the top of the car seat. Unbeknownst to the Makeups however, she’s also switching the pram’s electric motor on and off and slowly making her way down the hill to the airport to catch the 10pm flight back to John Lennon. Mez is on standby to pick her up and take her to Presthaven for a real holiday. God speed Olive, God speed.
As always, Read the Wiki..
Finally caught up, these threads are flying. It's the school holidays here and my selfish bespokes will not let me just lash them in carseats so I can do what I want 
