Well done to @TheGhostofShirleyBallas for the excellent thread title. Got a feeling this one is going to move fast..
Woah, we’re going to Ibiza..
Before we go though, we need to make a tit out of our baby’s dad by making out as though he can’t manage for three days on his own and labelling literally everything. But, what’s this? Has Miss KH Makeup dropped a bollock and revealed an extreme similarity between the writing on the labels and the writing on the card she was ‘sent’ by a ‘troll’ for her birthday?? Has she outed herself as the phantom card sender? Does she really think her brushes are ‘plastic tat’? Did she in fact call her own minge sweaty??
Speaking of sweaty minge, the bridal party were treated to their very own ‘airport clothes’ in the form of blazers and fedoras so they could all feel what it would be like to be as stylish as she. Definite sweaty minges for all when they stepped off the plane in the Balearics wearing those get ups. Sadly, a few of the hens lost their fedoras before they could actually get on the plane. It’s ok though, there’ll be some very well dressed pigeons around the bins that they ‘fell’ in..
There appears to be two versions of Kate out in Ibiza depending on whose pictures you look at. It must be two people because our Miss KH Makeup does NOT filter her pictures anymore. One is a perfect petite size 6 with a little finger shaped like a prawn and 17 toes on her right foot, the other seems to have absorbed the first one and stolen her clothes..
Matching bleeping clothes
In true KHM style, her bestest cousin, who’s like her sister and is in her bubble and who she is never away from apart from all the times she is away from her, had her thunder well and truly stolen by the girl who will never be a bride. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she was made to wear a pyjama top similar to that sported by Grandpa Joe, and a hat that Huggy Bear would refuse to put on, she’s so far spent the weekend being referred to as the second most important member of the bridal party - Maid of Honour and the Bride. Hollie, if you’re reading here, change the date and don’t tell her. There’s a large chance she’s going to turn up in white and steal your ring..
During their weekend of freedom, Delo and Olive went to Blue Planet where Delo finally got the chance of living his dream of being Bruce the Shark for real. Olive looked bewildered, as is usual when either of her parents take her out of the car seat to look at something that’s not a free feed at Opera Grill or Exchange Flags, but her eyes soon adjusted to the bright colours and she saw the world as her diddy dad sees it when he’s trying to swan dive and swim his way to freedom.
Her friend and man with a ballsack for a face Wayne Lineker has sorted them the ‘best bed’ at Ocean Beach. The best bed looks exactly like every other bed in the complex and nothing like the actual best beds in the VIP area but hey, she says it’s the best bed, so it must be the best bed because when has she ever lied about being better than everyone else?? At least they’re not being made to match today. I’m not sure how they’d all respond to having to wear a swimming costume with beads hanging over their dolphin-smooth minis like the entrance to Gypsy Rose Lee’s in Blackpool.
As always, Read the Wiki..
Woah, we’re going to Ibiza..
Before we go though, we need to make a tit out of our baby’s dad by making out as though he can’t manage for three days on his own and labelling literally everything. But, what’s this? Has Miss KH Makeup dropped a bollock and revealed an extreme similarity between the writing on the labels and the writing on the card she was ‘sent’ by a ‘troll’ for her birthday?? Has she outed herself as the phantom card sender? Does she really think her brushes are ‘plastic tat’? Did she in fact call her own minge sweaty??
Speaking of sweaty minge, the bridal party were treated to their very own ‘airport clothes’ in the form of blazers and fedoras so they could all feel what it would be like to be as stylish as she. Definite sweaty minges for all when they stepped off the plane in the Balearics wearing those get ups. Sadly, a few of the hens lost their fedoras before they could actually get on the plane. It’s ok though, there’ll be some very well dressed pigeons around the bins that they ‘fell’ in..
There appears to be two versions of Kate out in Ibiza depending on whose pictures you look at. It must be two people because our Miss KH Makeup does NOT filter her pictures anymore. One is a perfect petite size 6 with a little finger shaped like a prawn and 17 toes on her right foot, the other seems to have absorbed the first one and stolen her clothes..
Matching bleeping clothes
In true KHM style, her bestest cousin, who’s like her sister and is in her bubble and who she is never away from apart from all the times she is away from her, had her thunder well and truly stolen by the girl who will never be a bride. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she was made to wear a pyjama top similar to that sported by Grandpa Joe, and a hat that Huggy Bear would refuse to put on, she’s so far spent the weekend being referred to as the second most important member of the bridal party - Maid of Honour and the Bride. Hollie, if you’re reading here, change the date and don’t tell her. There’s a large chance she’s going to turn up in white and steal your ring..
During their weekend of freedom, Delo and Olive went to Blue Planet where Delo finally got the chance of living his dream of being Bruce the Shark for real. Olive looked bewildered, as is usual when either of her parents take her out of the car seat to look at something that’s not a free feed at Opera Grill or Exchange Flags, but her eyes soon adjusted to the bright colours and she saw the world as her diddy dad sees it when he’s trying to swan dive and swim his way to freedom.
Her friend and man with a ballsack for a face Wayne Lineker has sorted them the ‘best bed’ at Ocean Beach. The best bed looks exactly like every other bed in the complex and nothing like the actual best beds in the VIP area but hey, she says it’s the best bed, so it must be the best bed because when has she ever lied about being better than everyone else?? At least they’re not being made to match today. I’m not sure how they’d all respond to having to wear a swimming costume with beads hanging over their dolphin-smooth minis like the entrance to Gypsy Rose Lee’s in Blackpool.
As always, Read the Wiki..
be 88 by the time we get to Tuesday I predict
(tbf my tum is her size and I ain’t pregnant, but I don’t know why she left so early on the first night?? Odd behaviour.)
So to derail