Well done to
@Hereforthegossss for the excellent thread title. Had to change it a bit to fit.
The saga goes on..
She began the week terrifying the living daylights out of the North West and surrounding areas when she headbutted the screen during a reel sporting eye moustaches that can only be described as what would spawn if Eugene Levy and Groucho Marx’s eyebrows got together and had a drunken one night stand without using protection.
In an effort to prove us all wrong and show us that she does indeed buy things for her child, she spent the grand total of £2.25 in Asda on five identical ‘out and about’ ‘bowels.’ Adding that to the entire sale stock of Little Angels bottles that she once purchased means she’s spent over £12 in the last 8 months on her daughter. And we say she never puts her hand in her Zara size medium pants pockets..
Olive is being mischievous and apparently has no fear. To be fair, if your Ma had a phone for a face and your Pa wore the same length trousers as you, then you probably need to build up a lot of resilience at an early age. That coupled with the fact that her mother dresses her as the lead orphan in a BBC period drama, and keeps putting her shoes on the wrong feet means she’s probably trying to be self-sufficient by the time she’s 4 so she can get her own place.
There ain’t no party like a fully gifted KHM hay bale and pampas grass party it would seem as shoppers messaged her from the Asda as they were delighted to have their weekly shop made more joyful by the wonder that is Miss KH Makeup warbling whilst stomping her way through the aisles looking for 45p baby stuff. And by shoppers, I mean one person. And by one person, I mean Kate.
Child genius and all round wonder Olive can now play guitar. Lenny Kravitz and Slash have retired in respect of the fact that they’ll never be as talented as the 10 month old. Jimi Hendrix was also reported to have come back from the dead to comment on the infant prodigy and is said to have asked for the title of his favourite song to be changed to Olive Haze...
‘Scuse me Ma’s shit smoky eye..
Despite Joy of Clean being willing to work with anyone with an Instagram account and a face, she acted as though she was Tesco’s brand new ambassador by roping her ever suffering mother into mopping her floors for her and generally humiliating her. Whilst Mez cleaned up after the Wirral’s own Waynetta, Kate lounged on the green velvet chair watching Max strain out his thoughts on her, and barking orders to her mum across the room. Mez got her own back though by ‘accidentally’ dropping the news that she does the meal preps. If you read this Mez, next time blink twice if you want us to come and rescue you..
The concept of the term ‘sold out’ seems to be lost on her, demonstrated by her constantly sharing pictures of fully stocked shelves of her tat accompanied by the words ‘almost sold out’. Seeing as how her stuff is about as sold out as the Josef Fritzl Guide to Home Improvements, I don’t think Kylie Jenner has much to worry about yet. Or Olivia Hale. Or Pat at Kirby Market with her 3 for a fiver Miss Mary of Sweden blushers.
She’s off ‘away for the weekend’ again, even though it’s Saturday afternoon and she’s still at home. Still pretending she doesn’t use filters with a cracking picture of her dressed in a Guns n Roses T-Shirt with a chin you could cut glass on, as though we didn’t see her hours earlier on a story with no filter and a chin like the bottom of a boiled egg. Crack on though Kate, the only person you’re kidding is yourself.
As always, Read the Wiki.
