Katie Hayes #135 Oliver Twist: Please Mum, I want some sleep!

[Eyeofthetiger]

 

[BirkenheadTranny]

Well done to @platesofmeat for the thread title and extra credit to @Blair-Waldorf (I think!!) for the original Oliver Twist shout.

The chronicles continue..

Engagement for the Wirral’s 36th most important mascara purchaser has been low since people finally realised that she’s only got one makeup look, and that watching someone cook oats for the 78th time in a week isn’t actually all that interesting, so we were treated to a video similar to the ones they put on Sports Personality of the Year to commemorate the cricket players we’ve lost over the years. ‘Remembering my Reason’ showed us what Mummy’s Little Bill Payer looked like without the Bly Manor filter, but its main focal point was showing us exactly how much timber Little Legs has managed to stack on in the last 18 months. Free breakfast, lunch and tea five days a week is leaving its mark, ey Delo?

The Make Ups went on a random midweek ‘family getaway’ to Tunbridge Wells this week, probably on a cheap deal so they thought they were getting a bargain. However, being the Mensa rejects they are, the £12465 they would need for petrol to get there obviously slipped their minds. The ‘getaway’ lasted for around 17 hours, probably because that’s the longest Truff allows Wirral Arg to stay in her presence continuously before he realises that he ended up with the pumpkin, and not Cinderella.

In some medical news, it appears that Truff might have a serious condition if the number of times she’s mentioned her ‘heart hurting’ is anything to go by. Fear not though, the strange condition seems to be linked with a dip in likes and comments for her make up posts which leads to a picture of March’s Employee of the Month in pigtails and size 14 boots being thrown on to boost that engagement again.

The weekend began with an announcement that she was taking a social media break and then the weekend continued with more stories than she’s put on all week. She took her only source of income with her to test a buggy, and in true Truffleback fashion, she shoved her in the palest coloured one whilst caked in cake and juice. She then walked around the shop, looking like a giant wisdom tooth pushing a pram whilst giving an extra-special guided tour to tell us that it was like being, ‘in a shop that’s like being in a fair but it’s not it’s a shop, if you know what I mean?’ If I was that shop, I’d be asking for the free cupcakes and balloon back.

‘Remember my reason’ obviously didn’t get the engagement the 104th most important Range Rover renter wanted, so as predictably as an orange bride at one of her makeup sessions, we had our 56th troll rant of the year. As always, she can’t say much because of ‘police involvement’ which as we all know is really secret code for, ‘I can’t actually say much because the evidence is there that I’m a racist homophobe with the dress sense of a vandalised bus seat and I don’t want to direct everyone to it but I still want to play the victim’.

After 12 matching pyjama shoots with her Golden Goose, and a super allowed social media break she returned with a face like a Toby Jug shitting out a pine cone sitting next to her ever-suffering mother in another promo video for which she was paid in balloons. Lovely little message about how much she loves her mum. Shame your actions don’t match your words though, Kate. It wasn’t that long ago you humiliated her live on the gram by pointing out all her facial flaws (imagine, the girl with a lip tattoo that could be used as a before picture in a cold sore treatment advert having the nerve to point out someone else’s flaws), and laid her off without pay during a lockdown so the poor woman couldn’t afford food. Mez spent the afternoon wondering whether the jail time would have been worth attempting a switch with another baby at the hospital 30 years ago, while Kate spent the afternoon shoving as many cupcakes down her grid as she could before stealing the balloons and going for her seventeenth begged meal of the week whilst staying in her calorie deficit.

We leave her this time like the massive Queen Beg and Scav she is having planning meetings for her 30th birthday party. Fingers crossed she’ll at least clean the dog shit and carrier bags full of old nylon hair choice extensions out of her garden this time if she chooses to have it at home again. Gin bar and angel wings on her drive incoming..

As always, Read the Wiki..

Fucking bravo

 

[JellyDonut]

Communal withdrawals

I hope they are learning to share the communal and the tea towel nicely!!

 

[Retro80s]

All the Scots and Irish language speakers feeling victimised by the brits on here for using the word yous/yeez
View attachment 1164127

Come back truff to give us something to talk about

It’s not saying it, it’s typing it what bugs me.

I say the ‘Ozzy but I type the hospital, that’s what I mean

 

[kermucklowe]

How can you see she's liked posts? Is there a way to do it or have you just seen them? I'm rubbish at things like this.

 

[poppet88]

Oh weird, KHM wasn't showing for me. I'm probs blocked!

She loves that block button doesn’t she

 

[Quarrantinemadness]

There is a girl (I think she’s American) who highlighted her botox mishap, it went viral during the pandemic did you see it ?? One eyelid dropped as there was too much botox injected and the other eye over compensated and went MASSIVE.
So she has one GIANT eye and one tiny eye. It was really really bad!!!

View attachment 1155138

This has happened to me on a few occasions, luckily never as bad as hers was! Worst thing is there’s not a lot you can do other than sit it out! I tried getting eyedrops I read about from my GP but he wasn’t having any of it. It’s like having a heavy permanent frown and you look tired 24/7. I have to be careful and have the smallest amount now. I only get it about once every 8 months, 1 cos I cba, and 2 I’m not made of money

edit To add, both of mine drop not just one

 

[Sparklesurprise]

She’s copied this hasn’t she the fucken shame of her being 45

I am screaming

 

[Retro80s]

Trolls are you ready for this

TRUFF IS BACK RENTING A CHAIR

Oh how the mighty have fallen!!

How do you know??

 

[Burrito88]

The girls who own Filston Aesthetics are so lovely, I was just about to book in for my Botox

(On that note, does anyone have a good Botox recommendation? Liverpool or Wirral. Thanks Trolls )

Read the wiki

Smileworks L1 x

 

[gigi_93]

ASOS Code: EXCLUSIVE
Valid until 01.06.2022 at 8am - I got it through my Premier Delivery - worth a try for 20% off everything over £10.

Not to derail. But renting a chair? Scraggy hair? Read the wiki.

Ahh I already ordered! Gutted!

 

[UndeclaredAd]

I did Leo, plus on chemo. I had 2 days feeling like I had flu with a high temp. A bit of a cough then that was that. It took 12 days for me to finally test negative though. Hope you're OK

I just tested pos this morning and feeling fluish with high temp

 

[Sent from my iPhone]

Omg wasn’t she the one who did the supported cake course or whatever it was called in oh snarlin

Oh yes, think she was

 

[ems1982]

How much is it to rent a chair? X

 

[Quarrantinemadness]

Not seen anything this year. There's usually coverage on the Echo Facebook page of mums fighting and kicking off the next day.

Is there! I’ve seen a few on insta x

 

[poppet88]

The cow. I wouldn’t mess with her like, she’s like the Bride of Wildenstein with that gob of hers. I remember getting my brows done by her and her massive rock hard tits digging into me . She wants to save some of her dough instead of wasting it on facelifts that make her look 30 years older.
I’m sure at one point she was pally with Sallie Axl.

I’m still howling over Truff renting a chair . How the mighty have fallen eh?!

Yeh she was mates with Sallie Axl. Don’t know what happened there

 

[Quarrantinemadness]

Don't write on here much just like to read. Just to let the ASOS shoppers know there's 20% off tonight between 7pm and 9pm with code HURRY20

P.s - Truff smells like bin juice.

Thanks gorge x

 

[Eyeofthetiger]

If you find it please post it again as its going to be quieter if she manages to stay offline for longer than 24hours.

Read the wiki! Page 1

 

[slidders]

Trolls, who was that influencer with the reels who we couldnt work out if she was a parody account or not? Not our KHM but I think she was also blonde??

 

[Leodog19]

She definitely met with Pep Head and asked for a chair or back in for free, Pep was a bit taken aback or couldn’t be arsed with Truff kicking off in public so told her she’d need to go away and think about it then Truff posted that gushing lickey arse message about how amazing Pep Head is to try and persuade her then Pep text her saying no

What did she say about her I must of mist that