Kate Lawler #2

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In all seriousness I had a lot less help than Kate has done in harsher restrictions than now and local lockdowns etc but maybe the help hasn’t helped in the way she thought it would as she hasn’t got to grips with it or hasn’t accepted sometimes babies just cry and don’t do what you want. I hope she gets a handle on riding the waves it’s tough, really tough. I was told they wait 3 months in my health board to see how you are mental health wise after the baby before doing anything more (that may well be because of Covid) but she’s coming up to that isn’t she - so hopefully she can get some more support that she needs
 
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I do feel sorry for Kate that she feels like this. I remember feeling like that so clearly when you have a good few days and feel like you are getting the hang of everything and then your baby throws a spanner in the works and turns everything on its head and you go back to square one feeling like don’t know anything.
However, having the night nanny 3 times a week hasn’t helped. If she had been doing every night (with boj aswell not on her own) she would have bonded with Noa more and would maybe have picked up on what cry means what and things like that. Instead she has just avoided the responsibility of looking after her baby. Noa could be being fussy because she doesn’t know who’s looking after her from one minute to the next. She had the night nanny overnight, then in the morning it’s back to Kate and boj. Then the other day when they played mini golf she was probably with someone else again.
 
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Did he really say about what time to set his alarm for the morning?
Do people really sleep that soundly with a baby in the house they need an alarm to wake them?
Ha ha I haven't had to use an alarm since 2005 when I had my first child.
 
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I do like Kate, I said that before.
so I do feel for her. She needs a different type of help rather than a night nanny. I’d hope she is speaking to health professionals. That is ok.

Like for everyone before they have a baby, you literally have NO clue how it’s about to impact your life in every way. But everyone has different circumstance in terms of what support they have around them, and their own coping mechanisms.
I don’t know what to make of her other half though
 
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Someone really needs to step in, tell her noa is not something to be conquered or in control of, she is putting so much pressure on herself to know everything and feel like a mum who is in control. She is not OK. She needs some help, not physical night nanny help but some mental health help to deal with the very obvious struggles she is having. It is so sad to see.
 
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I find this whole situation so sad. I remember an interview with her where she really wasn’t sure if she wanted a baby or not... I almost feel like he pressured her into it? I don’t know, I don’t follow them closely. What had happened to her is my fear - plus some of the ridiculous judgemental comments from people on here. Why shouldn’t they have a night off? Have I missed something? Just because you have a baby your life doesn’t need to be on hold for years... if they can afford help then let them get on with it. People have had nannies/au pairs for centuries it’s nothing new. Personally I’d probably do the same if I had enough money or someone willing to take my kid.
 
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I wish I could say-sack off the nanny,save the money,stop PUMPING,feed feed feed if your b feeding then go all in. Do it for all the upsets. Nurse your baby and do the nights. Sit
Down take a breath and start napping with the baby,take her to the rooms your in and shower,wear her to do the house work,and sit and nurse her. She's stuck in a milk is for feeds scheduled rut,she's in a right rut,where is her support 😞
 
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Shes got help for Noa with the night nanny, but its Kate that needs the support. A baby has very simple needs at this age, but it is a huge impact on the mum. She should be able to access the perinatal mental health team.
 
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I find this whole situation so sad. I remember an interview with her where she really wasn’t sure if she wanted a baby or not... I almost feel like he pressured her into it? I don’t know, I don’t follow them closely. What had happened to her is my fear - plus some of the ridiculous judgemental comments from people on here. Why shouldn’t they have a night off? Have I missed something? Just because you have a baby your life doesn’t need to be on hold for years... if they can afford help then let them get on with it. People have had nannies/au pairs for centuries it’s nothing new. Personally I’d probably do the same if I had enough money or someone willing to take my kid.
There is an interview she did on loose women talking about how she was dead set on never having children (it's on YouTube if you are interested) I truly hope she hasn't changed her mind purely for her partner especially seeing how much she is struggling now.
 
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I am just not surprised she doesn’t know what Noa needs or wants - she is not even with her half the week of nights to be able to develop full understanding. The bond has been denied because THEY would prefer someone else to do it three nights a week.
 
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I did find myself bond with my youngest throughout the night with breastfeeding. I do have a stronger bond with her because of it.
My eldest daughter I was so depressed. Throughout pregnancy and til she was about 6 months old and hid it

Kate there is a lot of support out there.Your not alone x
 
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I am just not surprised she doesn’t know what Noa needs or wants - she is not even with her half the week of nights to be able to develop full understanding. The bond has been denied because THEY would prefer someone else to do it three nights a week.
i did think when I read it ‘of course you don’t know what she wants or needs because you’re not with her for almost half the nights of the week’
Unfortunately that’s not going to get any better if she doesn’t spend more time with her baby.
The thing is, regardless of how old your child is, you’re never going to have it all figured out so I hope she stops piling the pressure on herself.
 
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Shes got help for Noa with the night nanny, but its Kate that needs the support. A baby has very simple needs at this age, but it is a huge impact on the mum. She should be able to access the perinatal mental health team.
I read all the time how empathetic to Kate you are, and I hear you.

But.. Kate has done quite a few things wrong that anyone with common sense just would not have done and I certainly would not have done when I had my first:

1. The bloody TV show
This was her first mistake. Having the crew in hospital with her (I was heavily criticised on here when I confirmed the crew were in hospital with her but as the show will reveal they 100% were!) made Kate focus not on her child but on her career. It was a terrible idea and one that she will rue the day over in time. Plus she is absolutely ghastly on it too.
2. Have completely unrealistic expectations of a baby.
Yeah, no one knows until you have your own but she really did think this little baby was gonna be a breeze. Her comment that she'd be getting more sleep when the baby arrived proves that. She wasn't just unprepared, she was deluded.
3. Her unpreparedness has affected her mental state.
I don't think it is PND. I think Kate genuinely think she is in shock. Her shock reaction to having to care for her baby is terrible. She is feeling that she is not bonding with her daughter and she is failing her because she is. She cannot put Noa first. She is still putting herself before her child.
4. The night nanny has fractured her bond with Noa.
Without a doubt at a time when Kate and Noa need to be sharing the twilight hours having cuddled and hushed chats she decided to get someone in to do the work.
5. She hasn't learned that social media is not her friend - yet.
But she will. Still her focus is not on her child. It remains on her and who ever she is posting for. That is a real problem.
6. Her boyfriend is a wick.
He probably always was and it wasn't being shown. She had a baby for him and he wanted to be a 1970's dad and no more. He is getting 3 nights a week off with the night nanny and also going into the spare room on the other nights - he's a charmer for sure and certainly not a keeper!
 
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I feel for Kate after that post. But while I was same after my first (well 100% fruit n nut n then eventually hospitalised), at least I had a supportive partner. He stepped right up to the mark and practically raised our child alone as I was useless. I may as well have been a cow being milked for all the bonding I was capable for.

BJ is a pathetic manchild and I feel for Kate, she is raising 2 kids now.
 
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Kate, if this how you are really feeling then let me give you a massive heads up and advise you to call your nearest psychiatrist immediately. You will need to take some meds and speak to someone to get over this.

Otherwise, you've had the frigging night off and try to appreciate just how lucky you are and stop complaining because you are being boring as duck now.
Maybe if she actually spent some time with her and off social media, she’d understand better?
 
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I wish I put my foot down years ago with my fella. I’m wiping his a aswell as wiping my other 2!

people seem to think when babies are newborn all they do is sleep. I remember when I had my first I was in my
Kitchen at 9.30am from just waking up thinking why am I so tired? When I spoke to midwife she said Dan it’s cos you’ve had broken night sleep your not use to it
 
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I read all the time how empathetic to Kate you are, and I hear you.

But.. Kate has done quite a few things wrong that anyone with common sense just would not have done and I certainly would not have done when I had my first:

1. The bloody TV show
This was her first mistake. Having the crew in hospital with her (I was heavily criticised on here when I confirmed the crew were in hospital with her but as the show will reveal they 100% were!) made Kate focus not on her child but on her career. It was a terrible idea and one that she will rue the day over in time. Plus she is absolutely ghastly on it too.
2. Have completely unrealistic expectations of a baby.
Yeah, no one knows until you have your own but she really did think this little baby was gonna be a breeze. Her comment that she'd be getting more sleep when the baby arrived proves that. She wasn't just unprepared, she was deluded.
3. Her unpreparedness has affected her mental state.
I don't think it is PND. I think Kate genuinely think she is in shock. Her shock reaction to having to care for her baby is terrible. She is feeling that she is not bonding with her daughter and she is failing her because she is. She cannot put Noa first. She is still putting herself before her child.
4. The night nanny has fractured her bond with Noa.
Without a doubt at a time when Kate and Noa need to be sharing the twilight hours having cuddled and hushed chats she decided to get someone in to do the work.
5. She hasn't learned that social media is not her friend - yet.
But she will. Still her focus is not on her child. It remains on her and who ever she is posting for. That is a real problem.
6. Her boyfriend is a wick.
He probably always was and it wasn't being shown. She had a baby for him and he wanted to be a 1970's dad and no more. He is getting 3 nights a week off with the night nanny and also going into the spare room on the other nights - he's a charmer for sure and certainly not a keeper!
Honestly, im such a soft rit with new mums 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ cos of what I went through. I see a lot of my own behaviours in some.

She absolutely needs to develop a bond with Noa. It took a horribly long time for me to bond with my eldest, but i bonded straight away with my second yet the PND only really kicked in after him lol. Typical! Time away from social media, remove all this feeding pressure, Boj to grow up, and just try and settle into the whirlwind of being a mum.. you just cant ignore these things or wing it when youre overwhelmed. It comes crashing down

Oh i cant cope with Noa, how flippin cute is she! 🥰
 
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I read all the time how empathetic to Kate you are, and I hear you.

But.. Kate has done quite a few things wrong that anyone with common sense just would not have done and I certainly would not have done when I had my first:

1. The bloody TV show
This was her first mistake. Having the crew in hospital with her (I was heavily criticised on here when I confirmed the crew were in hospital with her but as the show will reveal they 100% were!) made Kate focus not on her child but on her career. It was a terrible idea and one that she will rue the day over in time. Plus she is absolutely ghastly on it too.
2. Have completely unrealistic expectations of a baby.
Yeah, no one knows until you have your own but she really did think this little baby was gonna be a breeze. Her comment that she'd be getting more sleep when the baby arrived proves that. She wasn't just unprepared, she was deluded.
3. Her unpreparedness has affected her mental state.
I don't think it is PND. I think Kate genuinely think she is in shock. Her shock reaction to having to care for her baby is terrible. She is feeling that she is not bonding with her daughter and she is failing her because she is. She cannot put Noa first. She is still putting herself before her child.
4. The night nanny has fractured her bond with Noa.
Without a doubt at a time when Kate and Noa need to be sharing the twilight hours having cuddled and hushed chats she decided to get someone in to do the work.
5. She hasn't learned that social media is not her friend - yet.
But she will. Still her focus is not on her child. It remains on her and who ever she is posting for. That is a real problem.
6. Her boyfriend is a wick.
He probably always was and it wasn't being shown. She had a baby for him and he wanted to be a 1970's dad and no more. He is getting 3 nights a week off with the night nanny and also going into the spare room on the other nights - he's a charmer for sure and certainly not a keeper!
THIS THIS AND THIS!!! ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻

She has spent the WHOLE 10 weeks waiting for the day when it will magically get easier instead of slotting her life around what it actually is! YOU are the one who needs to adapt, not your baby!

I think my mouth is still hanging open from Boj posting that he’s “happy to be a back seat passenger and enjoy the ride” with regards to Kate and Noa’s relationship and Kate’s development as a Mother. A PASSENGER??!!

Unfortunately Kate has spent her life making sure she excelled at everything she turned her hand to and she DRASTICALLY underestimated how hard it is to turn your hand to Motherhood 😳
 
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THIS THIS AND THIS!!! ☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻

She has spent the WHOLE 10 weeks waiting for the day when it will magically get easier instead of slotting her life around what it actually is! YOU are the one who needs to adapt, not your baby!

I think my mouth is still hanging open from Boj posting that he’s “happy to be a back seat passenger and enjoy the ride” with regards to Kate and Noa’s relationship and Kate’s development as a Mother. A PASSENGER??!!

Unfortunately Kate has spent her life making sure she excelled at everything she turned her hand to and she DRASTICALLY underestimated how hard it is to turn your hand to Motherhood 😳
And it is not that I don't empathise with her, I feel like she needs to wake up and smell the coffee. Especially about that twit of a boyfriend - who certainly is not what she thinks/wants him to be.

From when they start school (not nursery) to puberty are the best years IMO. You can nap while watching a movie, they are really portable without to much stuff and they become a really good laugh and great company. You can take them places and you ALL can enjoy it. Good times.

Puberty is worse than the 0-4 years, that's for sure.
 
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