Would they not have life insurance? That would pay out for a life changing illness? I know both me and my husband have cover.Maybe wrong to focus on her but if she’s caring for Derek and having to work less,who’s paying the bills,who is dealing with their kids and who is putting food on the table......life has to go on to some extent for the kids and if this is a way of allowing that then surely it’s not all bad. It wouldn’t be for everyone to share private details but hard to say what you would do in such a situation until you are in it.